this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2024
830 points (98.1% liked)

Greentext

4492 readers
527 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 58 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (5 children)

I've done the same. I love mushroom soup. I love egg nog. I once tried to put the two together because I had run out of milk.

Now I'm not one to waste things, so I tried to finish it but could only stomach a few mouthfuls. Whatever unholy mixture that turned out to be needed to be buried a minimum of 10 feet deep in a lead container with warnings in every possible language to future generations to leave it the fuck alone.

[–] Slagius 24 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I nearly downvoted this out of disgust. Wtf dude? No.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago

I know that.. now.

Some of us do the best learning the hard way.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Once when I’d clearly had enough whiskey I tried adding msg to it. Thankfully I didn’t ruin much but dang does liquor not like umami

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

I tried that once with hot cocoa. my logic was that going from water to milk makes hot cocoa far richer and tastier, even better if it's whole milk. egg nog is even richer and tastier than whole milk, so clearly cocoa nog should be delicious. nope

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

If you’re looking for a good place to use that egg nog, my dad always makes egg nog french toast on Christmas and it’s fantastic!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

That's absolutely gnarly, dude.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 9 months ago

Didn't have milk but had chocolate milk, definitely a robot.

[–] starman2112 27 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Hahaha

Rice and tortilla chips are both basically solid carbohydrates, right? So like, what's the difference between eating refried beans with tortilla chips, and putting refried beans in rice?

What they have in common is that they both make me not hungry anymore. The difference is how.

[–] eestileib 20 points 9 months ago (1 children)

If you make Mexican rice, it kicks ass with beans.

[–] starman2112 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

To be honest, that doesn’t say much. Could be black rice, brown rice, yellow rice, pink rice…. from all I know.

[–] starman2112 19 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

Let me put it this way: one time, I got pulled over for having two license plates showing, and a headlight out. When the officer asked for my ID and proof of insurance, I didn't have either on me.

He let me go with a warning

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Good God, you may be whiter than I am. Casper the friendly ghost claims that he's got a better tan than I do.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] sugar_in_your_tea 4 points 9 months ago

refried beans in rice

So, tex mex? I'm pretty sure your classic tex mex bean burrito is rice + refried beans + cheese (like this nonsense; don't show your Mexican friends).

And in some Asian cultures, they absolutely do put beans in rice, like pat bap.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

You were so close. Gallo Pinto is a Latin American dish where you get black beans and white rice together. It's delicious.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Tips:

Instead of wrecking the entirety of your cooking when introducing something that may not work so well, put a small amount of the new thing in your mouth with a bit of what you’re cooking.

In this case, take a spoonful of mashed potato without swallowing and then a sip of chocolate milk . Do you want an entire bowl of that?

Sometimes even just smelling one with a taste of the other is enough to decide.

Also, try a big spoonful of sour cream in your homemade mashed potato along with your regular seasonings. Awesome.

[–] Jax 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Mm, I guess for your everyday taste test this works. This would absolutely work as far as determining whether or not chocolate milk potatoes would be good. However, there are meals where completely incongruous ingredients blend perfectly due to how they're cooked.

Sometimes you must be adventurous.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Classy 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Milk + butter + SC. that's how I make mine, very creamy and delicious

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago (8 children)

You don't even really need milk for mashed potato, just put extra butter in.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I've cooked some weird stuff before. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. As I've gained experience, my cooking has improved and the number of failures has decreased. Same with every other skill. If it's not dangerous or expensive, just do it and see what happens!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Hell yeah. We are born as scientists and the adults around us extinguish that drive.

Kids always ask why. Why use milk, and not chocolate milk? Well, now you know why, and nobody told you.

Return to childhood, explore all those questions. That’s what you exist for! Questions! We are the universe trying to understand itself.

I used to be a terrible cook, but I’ve learned from those bland bean stews and barely-edible noodle dishes. Now I can eat everything I make, and most other people can too (sodium free, so challenge for some; magnesium salt isn’t the same)

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] minibyte 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Imma need an example of one of the weirder things that worked well.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

I have two:

  1. Take bread, put some banana slices on top, and then spread some Dijon mustard on top. Better than it has any right to be.

  2. If you have some proper aioli and you need to fry something (but without very high heat), spread a layer of aioli on it as your cooking fat. The oil renders out and leaves behind a thin crust of garlicy goodness.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

See the meme. Try the meme. Become the meme.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

memetic hazards are everywhere.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (3 children)

I like pizza.

I like candy corn.

Saw weird post saying put candy corn on pizza.

I will never do that again.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I like pizza.

I like General Tso's Chicken

Made a General Tso's Chicken Pizza.

That shit is delicious.

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam 4 points 9 months ago (3 children)

That sounds amazing. Did you do regular pizza sauce and Mozzarella with it?

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

Sour cream, cream cheese, butter, lots of options other that choccy milk

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (6 children)

I love olive oil and I like mayonnaise, but making mayonnaise with olive oil is a mistake.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

What an idiot. Everyone knows you use chocolate soymilk not chocolate milk.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (7 children)

I've made a lot of macaroni and cheese in my day, and I haven't always had the luxury of being able to afford milk. My go-to in that scenario is to use at least double the recipe's butter, and substitute the required milk with about 75% as much water.

It makes the mac and squeaky and it tastes.. not very good.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I haven’t always had the luxury of being able to afford milk

Holy hell, that's rough

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Does it come out brown? 🤔

Could I prank someone by making chocolate mashed potatoes and say it's frosting?

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

That is one haunting pepe

load more comments
view more: next ›