this post was submitted on 31 May 2024
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NonCredibleDefense

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[–] [email protected] 193 points 5 months ago

I thought this place was for jokes. Why is there an infographic?

[–] [email protected] 136 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I'm in a band that performs on occasion at CFBs (Canadian Forces Bases). We typically eat there and spend the night either in barracks or guest housing.

I have noticed that when we play for officers, dinner is like steak and lobster. When we play for enlisted, it's more like high school cafeteria. The one and only time I had to excuse myself towards the end of a concert and miss the closing number was after eating at the enlisted mess and getting explosive diarrhea.

[–] [email protected] 77 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The one and only time I had to excuse myself towards the end of a concert and miss the closing number was after eating at the enlisted mess and getting explosive diarrhea.

I guess they're training their soldiers for biological warfare.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 5 months ago

I suppose it is a kind of survival training? One of my bandmates who's served came up after. "So here's the deal. You watch what everyone else is eating. If they're meticulously avoiding the peach cobbler or whatever it is, you F'ing stay away from that S if you know what's good for you!"

[–] Voroxpete 14 points 5 months ago

I know from my wife that food in the CAF varies wildly from base to base. Some places are pretty good, others are dogshit.

[–] [email protected] 108 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (13 children)

It's pretty true. I have some Army meals in my photo library.

Edit: Found some more

[–] [email protected] 64 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That’s one jucy plate of bread, green beans, lettuce with cum, and diarrhea. Accompanied by a glass of piss.

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Maybe it's because I grew up poor with a single parent who couldn't cook, but I thought that the Army food was great. When I got to AIT and could eat as much as I wanted, I realized that I had essentially been starving my entire life. I put on 19 pounds between starting basic and finishing AIT, when most people were losing dozens of pounds. I would eat 3000 calorie breakfasts, and then burn most of it off with an eight mile run.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago (2 children)

the army food was great

me too. I was with the military for 6 months (it's obligatory in my country) and the food was delicious. Not just very nutritious and also healthy, but it really filled you, and made you feel good. Much better than what I got at home.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I don't think an 8 mile run burns 3000 kcal.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I did say "most of it". That was just to start the day. We'd often run again in the evening, lift weights, do pushups and sit-ups throughout the day, and do a full day of work. I was eating more than I was burning since I was able to put on muscle, but not by much, since my body fat percentage was low. The point of the story was that I had enough food to eat for the first time in my life thanks to the Army mess hall, and I thought it was great.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 months ago (7 children)

Legitimately looks like prison food. And you don't even get metal cutlery?

[–] [email protected] 57 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Thats how pretty much all food made in giant quantities for 1500+ people is gonna look. Looks like every cafeteria meal i have ever eaten.

[–] zalgotext 36 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yeah honestly aside from the poor broccoli that got boiled to death, most of those plates look decent.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago

Wym that looks delicious

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

Wtf that looks delicious, a little small portions but other than that it's fine

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's so nice to see Comic Sans actually being used for its intended purpose.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Yes it actually looks great in the correct context, tbh.

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Hey, my dad was a Marine and I take great offense at the suggestion that he ate crayons. He served in Vietnam; they smoked crayons, thank you very fucking much.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 5 months ago (4 children)

What about the Space Force?

[–] [email protected] 59 points 5 months ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

While running around doing a karaoke version of Blur Song 2.

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[–] zalgotext 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

So the space force is just a bunch of line cooks?

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Definitely freeze dried astronaut food.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago (3 children)

That shit is delicious. Every time we went to some kind of space-related museum growing up I would bug the shit out of my parents until they got some for me. I felt so freaking cool eating it.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 months ago (5 children)

What's going on in the navy?

[–] clay_pidgin 77 points 5 months ago (2 children)

They're schlorping schlongs.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 months ago

Where do we sign up?!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago

Was a submariner, can confirm.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's an age old running "joke" they are gay and effeminate, hence the female looking person gobbling a sausage.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago

I see. First though was maybe I should have joined the navy but now.....maybe I should have joined the navy.

[–] mindbleach 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)

What's gay to civilians is brotherhood in the Army. What's gay to the Army is brotherhood in the Navy. What's gay to the Navy is illegal.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago

Situational sexuality.

I remember a recent convo (last ten years) regarding an elderly British couple talking about the rise of LGBT+ issues in politics,

HUSBAND: It's actually refreshing to see the young people openly talking about it. WIFE: I don't think we've ever known anyone like that. Do we? HUSBAND: Dear, I was in the navy for ten years.

If you think about it, it's very much a thing in parochial schools as well.

[–] funkless_eck 17 points 5 months ago (5 children)
[–] Ummdustry 12 points 5 months ago
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[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Yeah I don't think pink hair is allowed

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 months ago

My dad was in the coast guard. I'll ask.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago

The Vietnam vets I knew from the US army talked about the weirdly green gravy which was good, just green.

And a WWII Navy vet stationed on a carrier said the food was fine, but it was all piled on top of each other.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Food in the US military

Is this actually credible?

No. The CIA isn't military.

[–] Ummdustry 29 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The CIA isn't acting in the interest of the united states either, but still here we are

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago

100 percent. Just never mix Army and CIA. It spawns a level 5 entity that the black helicopter guys have to take care of.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Eat raw wheat flour yeah 🤤

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I personally didn't mind army food. I would love some navy food tho :3

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