this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2025
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So I'm European and am aware that American culture is very different in many ways. Idk if this is just some type of thing about American culture and mentality in general that has always been there or if it is a trend that started recently in the past few years.

I don't wanna generalize any country and know that not everyone is like this but I definitely noticed this type of pattern.

I increasingly noticed in the past years that many Americans are very hateful/cruel, are lacking empathy, become more and more aggressive and it seems like it’s becoming worse.

I'm not sure if this is maybe related to Americans needing to be "though" or something because I always hear about that the American mentality is pretty competitive and individualistic and instead of saying "we will go through this this together" they often have this mentality "it's either me or you but it can't be both who will win". I mean I'm pretty sure that all these things like this biking culture, driving big "manly" pick up trucks, wrestling, football etc. are pretty prevalent in America compared to other countries and American culture generally seems very loud and direct. I think here in Europe people are way more reserved and I guess the strongest opposite to Americans are probably Japanese people. Maybe American culture is generally more "rough" where they aren't super sensitive and don't really care how their words come over and just speak their mind (maybe cause they value free speech so much).

But to me this seems to go to the point where many Americans seem to have this attitude and are very ignorant and arrogant and basically think they're better than anyone else and they only care for themselves.

And it feels like it's so extreme to the point where everyone is hating, attacking and bashing on everyone and instead of being stronger united they're just fighting against themselves and putting each other down and they always focus on the negative.

Especially online it seems like that no matter what the topic is and independent from whether they are Democrat or Republican they're constantly bashing on someone and baselessly calling them "weak" even though in reality they're probably the ones who are weak and trample onto people cause they're obviously dissatisfied with themselves and aren't able to man-up to face the real issues. You just can't blame everything on others and have to take responsibility for yourself!

Some stuff that I've seen on American news like "Fox News" just seemed crazy where the reporters personally attack and bash on people which is something that would be unthinkable in Europe.

Even though many people were saying that Americans have this "fake friendliness" I'm thinking that even that disappeared in the last few years and they're becoming more open to show what they really think which seems to be that they "don't give a f* about you".

Many Americans that I encountered seem so aggressive like they always need to bash onto something in this toxic way even though they're actually in a very good position and have a lot to be grateful for. Like in other poor countries people have real problems and are literally starving because they have no food or they have war in their country.

I'm always thinking "dude, you need to chill" cause literally no one is attacking them and they're fully secure. But it seems like they're always searching for a fight or something.

It seems like many of these people are so disconnected from nature and become less human and I wonder why they can't just spend meaningful time with other people being positive and not constantly waste their time with hating or complaining about something. Because this just doesn't work and in a society with multiple people especially in a world where everything is more connected than ever we need to hold together and have empathy for one and another. That is one of the core morals that a human needs!

It seems like many Americans generally have this "cruelness" about them cause I also heard things that many Americans are physically beating their children and even the fact that guns are popular and legal in America to the point where you can't even safely walk alone in public during the night or safely send your kid to school and also this general mindset of America is doing everything the best and "America first". I really don't wanna bash on Americans at all and only want to share my experience because I just haven't experienced this type of hate here in Europe in that extreme way and it just makes me very uncomfortable because I feel like this mood is affecting the whole world since American media and influence is prevalent everywhere.

To me it feels like this won't end well and it feels like it's just a matter of time until something very bad happens like the second civil war or so and the storm on the capitol might be nothing compared to that. But maybe that's the only way they will finally learn if they're lacking these core morals and integrity and they don't get educated about that in school.

It also seems like they can't handle critique and can't admit it/stand to those things. When I once asked a similar question on Reddit the only thing I got back was bashing and personal attacks and I hope it's not the same here, cause that is literally just proving my point. There needs to be constructive discussions.

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[–] [email protected] 106 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (5 children)

The short answer is that we haven't really become any more hateful or cruel, however a VERY vocal minority of Americans have lost their goddamned minds and want to drag the rest of us down with them. Those are the people you're hearing from and they make the rest of us look awful

[–] [email protected] 69 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

And that minority gets an outsized place at the media table due to billionaire oligarchs who want total control.

Actuay a great summation in another post around the same time:

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 week ago

dont forget the raging propaganda preventing the silent majority from believing they can affect change. ~40% of people who are eligible to vote never do.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

I hope it is just a minority. I remember when I once asked on Reddit why so many Americans like Donald Trump considering all the things he has done and said and they were saying it's just a very small minority and that they personally don't know any one who likes him. Turns out he got the popular vote making him president again. So that seemed quite detached from reality.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Here's your answer on Trump.

How Half Of America Lost Its F**king Mind

Still as true in 2025 as it was in 2016. If you truly want to understand, read it. I read it a couple of times a year to retain my sanity, get some understanding of the seeming anarchy.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

the majority of people voted for him

Eh... That's not quite accurate. Current estimates are that 77,301,997 people voted for Trump, which is less than 50% of the 155,211,283 total votes cast. (But Kamala, the second-most-voted-for candidate got less than that at 75,017,626.)

But only about 64% of those eligible to vote voted.

So, not even half of those who did vote in the 2024 presidential election voted for Trump, let alone those who were eligible to voted, let alone all "people" in the U.S.. But the ones who voted for Trump composed many more than the number of people who voted for any other candidate.

Sources: one and two.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

But isn't that kind of putting lipstick on a pig? I mean got elected to become president. And 77 million is a lot of people... And I'm not sure if that's going to change policies and society. It's kind of accepted now to be a biggot and do harmful things. And I'm really not sure if it's acceptable under these circumstances to be a "silent majority" anyways. I mean it's not exactly like watching the nazis take over a country. But I think there are parallels. And I don't think it's ethically alright to just watch. At some point if you don't do anything, you become part of the problem. IMO.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Let’s remember the large amount of people who couldn’t be bothered to vote.

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's a deliberate push by the elites. They don't want us cooperating, because that would lead to revolt. They fill our media with identity politics, fear and hatred so that we're too bitter to work together. It works beautifully for them.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I decided to scroll through the replies to see if anyone already said what I was going to, and you did.

Everyone thinks that irrelevant culture wars are more important than things that actually affect them directly, and our REAL enemies love it.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Let's be cynicism buddies maybe we'll get buried in the same mass grave

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

The problem is that the "irrelevant" culture wars (identity politics, wedge issues) that don't affect any given individuals directly are about important issues, and they're being used by the rich as hostages. We can't help but care about those issues, even if they don't impact us directly, and the rich are using them as human shields while they take our watches and wallets and force us to sign over our properties

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 week ago (1 children)

40+ years ago the Republicans started a war against education and intellectualism. They won.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

And it's all at the direction of The Federalist Society. Reagan signed 2/3 of their Project 1985 into law, dramatically lowering the corporate and top personal tax brackets and removing the restrictions of local and national limits on network and local affiliate TV and radio ownership. Their lackey then spent decades creating enormous propoganda networks to pump the view that the wealthy are the best of us and should never be challenged. Plus, those networks constantly pump identity politics issues to polarize the popu Ace even more.

"If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you."

  • LBJ
[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Propaganda. Mostly funded by the rich, in order to, of course, stay on the top of the class hierarchy. Easier to be a filthy evil oligarch when the "rabble" just fight each other and don't pay any attention to you, or worse, kiss your boots.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

After Occupy movement was gutted by the media and police... The owner class got us fighting culture wars so we don't gain class consciousness for the class war.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Because our empire is dying

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago (3 children)

There are still a lot of us around these parts that strive to be kind and generous, it’s just that kindness and generosity doesn’t sell a lot of newspapers.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

HATEFUL AND DESTRUCTIVE??? HATEFUL AND DESTRUCTIVE??? FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!!!

sets your car on fire

HOW COULD YOU CALL ME HATEFUL AND DESTRUCTIVE???

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

fear leads to anger

anger leads to hate

(its not just the US, every human is like that)

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago (2 children)

If you look around you’ll see it’s not just Americans. The earth is dying. Resources are running out and economic systems are reaching end of viability. People are struggling while the corporatocracy fleeces the masses any value left. As this happens people become more agitated, stressed, and radicalised. They blame outsiders, reject science, and embrace misinformation. Expect it to get much, much worse.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I definitely agree. I think this increasing cooperate greed is a global thing and people generally become more depressed. I really don't wanna bash on Americans as this is just my experience but to me it feels like the amount of hatred from Americans is not even close to the rest of the world. Maybe I'm wrong here but to me it feels like they become less human..

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It’s worse for Americans because they’ve been told for generations that they are the greatest in the greatest country. Now they can readily see it’s not necessarily true. The cognitive dissonance creates a much stronger stress.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A bit subtler than that. We still have the largest economy and the strongest military, but the problems we're facing (both individually and globally) can't be solved with those tools.

So we're "great" but we can't solve these problems... why not? Someone offers a scapegoat or similar "common sense solution". And if you believe in it then everything makes sense. But for it to make sense you have to get angry.

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[–] southsamurai 19 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Don't believe everything you read or hear is what it amounts to. You're getting highly selective, heavily filtered news, not the lives of actual people.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago

American here.

First, you're right. About basically all of what you said above.

I think you particularly hit the nail on the head with this:

I’m always thinking “dude, you need to chill” cause literally no one is attacking them and they’re fully secure. But it seems like they’re always searching for a fight or something.

The media here, funded by the big corporations, manufacture tons of FUD ("fear, uncertainty, and doubt.") Things to be scared of. "They're putting chemicals in the water that's turning the frogs" (and by extension, your kids) "gay." "The 'woke mafia' is trying to convert your kids to atheism." "The Democrats are going to take your guns so they can install a totalitarian one world government without any resistance." Most of it's not true at all. Some has a nugget of truth but it's not actually any threat.

I will say the Republicans are worse about this than the Democrats (the Democrats' concerns are more legitimate than the Republicans'), but the Democrats are far from immune. Both are living in fantasy worlds.

...until something very bad happens like the second civil war...

Indeed there's plenty of rhetoric out there pushing the idea that the U.S. is in a civil war. Between the woke antifa (short for "antifascist") and the fascist conspiracy theorists.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago

When I visited Europe, I had a great time talking with strangers there. One in particular said something similar, in that he thought Americans were just inherently more violent.

Listen, the reality of the situation is that we're just as friendly and kind as we ever were. Americans are literally the most charitable population. But we're also living in times of great wealth inequality, while our health insurance is still tied to employment. Something like half a million of us go bankrupt every year from medical debt. We are also all uniquely aware that some people will randomly get lucky, and get a massive windfall of money. Money here doesn't just mean comfort, it means security, because if ever our luck runs out, there is no social safety net waiting to catch us. People can and often do go from the highest echelons of the social ladder, to living under a bridge, dying of some easily cured disease.

In America, it's dog eat dog. It's a zero-sum game. Whatever money you make, is money that I won't. And when money = security, it means that however secure you are, is how less secure I am. 300 million of us all playing the prisoners dilemma. If we work together we could all have a good outcome, but there are so many of us that have fully bought into the me vs. everyone mentality, that it's a near impossibility of getting all us prisoners to work together.

But a big mistake, is looking at boomer news (fox news, newsmax, oann) and thinking it reflects reality. It doesn't. That is 100% hateful news for hateful people. If you like getting a dopamine rush from looking down on others, or doomscrolling, or in being afraid, then faux news is what you watch. Don't mistake it with America, because it isn't. It is actively poisoning Americans, but if ever you were to get an active faux news watcher to turn it off, sit down, and have a chat, you'd be surprised at how friendly they were. They are people who bought into the zero sum game, but even they know how/when to be charitable.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago

There's war in Europe. Climate change is fucking up the world faster than we can respond, and America is burning to the ground physically and metaphorically as we speak.

Tensions are a bit high.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

Every part of our society is dysfunctional and declining, and that's self-perpetuating. If you throw a rock, you'll hit a reason why the US is like this. We are pretty FUBAR.

It's pretty much always been this way, like if you look at opinions and rhetoric post-9/11, the overwhelming majority of people supported Bush and it was common to talk about nuking random countries in the Middle East. Back then we were a bit less mask off in that Bush wasn't as blunt and explicit about things as Trump is, but the bodies were just as dead. Trump realized that the facade of politeness had become vestigal and didn't actually matter. As for American liberals, the thing to understand is that they only compare themselves to Republicans and so as long as they are 5% more proper and 5% kinder, 5% more intellectual, etc, they see themselves as having all of those qualities, but from the outside, to someone who has reference points outside of American politics, the differences often seem pretty marginal. So for example, "I can excuse indefinite detention without trial at Guantanamo Bay, but I draw the line at torture" and within the context of American politics that's reasonable and even left-leaning but in a broader context, it's like, "You can excuse what?"

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

You're watching the collapse of an empire. The citizens are getting desperate and scared, those of them that don't realize or understand the situation they're in even moreso. What you're seeing isn't driven by malice, it's just too difficult to care for others now. A lotta my friends struggle to pay rent every month and keep food in their mouths. We walk around with the knowledge a stranger could freak out and gun us down at any moment. Is it any wonder that they are numb to violence, numb to threats, even numb to the fear of death?

Once you get that numb and hollow, you cut what's extraneous away and focus on your own survival. Americans are, broadly speaking, panicked animals. The worse things get, the more panicked and desperate they'll become, and the less they'll care about standards and morals in the pursuit of survival.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

In the old days a person with radical ideas had a hard time finding others with the same mentality. It cost money to send out letters, print stuff, etc. Now you can blast out whatever comes into your head to potentially millions of people. You can form groups with them and feed each other's paranoia and biases. On top of it broadcasting to you has become even easier and targeted and most of what is broadcast as news online is negative and fearmongering.

Then there is the whole issue of the "anonymous asshole" online who feels disconnected to those they are communicating to and makes assumptions (usually hostile) about them and feels freer to be hostile or provocative.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

It’s not that the country is more arrogant and idiotic (although that’s arguable) but it’s more that arrogant and idiotic messages and people are being broadcast more.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

2 reasons:

  • first past the post system --> everything is good or bad, with me or against me, blue or red, black or white, ...
  • the initial lawlessness of the pilgrims just continued and permeated the culture

IMO, until USAmericans finally get rid of "winner takes all", they won't be able to change the attitude.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

I gotta say, living in a red state, it definitely feels.like most have gone hollow. I can see the madness in their eyes at work. Its generations of capitalistic abuse, sacrificing ourselves for the profit of the few. I think we have irreparable damage done to our culture's zeitgeist.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

There are obviously multiple factors that go into this, but I think the big ones are the systematic destruction of the US educational system and the wealth inequality caused by late-stage capitalism. Fixing the education problem will take decades. Fixing the wealth inequality could be done quickly, but things will have to get worse before people begin to agree that it needs to happen. I'm confident that things will eventually get better. I am no longer confident that it will happen soon or without violence.

Similar things are happening in Europe, with the rise of the extreme right, but the situation there is not as far along as it is in the US. I think Europe still has a reasonable chance of avoiding the worst of this.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

So I'm European and am aware that American culture is very different in many ways. Idk if this is just some type of thing about American culture and mentality in general that has always been there

Observing USians and debating them on social media, I am more and more of the view that substantial proportion of them are properly, certifiably insane.

And it doesn't apply only to MAGA nutjobs, it applies across the political divide and often starts with complete and utter contempt for facts.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

From my perspective, they've always been there, but now they're louder. They've been emboldened by the public perception that it's okay to be terrible and hateful and selfish. It used to be that those people kept more quiet.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Americans have always been hateful and destructive. We've just recently been given permission to do those things out loud, with impunity.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Delete your social media, turn off the TV, go outside, talk with people. Is it hateful? No. You're being lied to.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

My guess it has to do with their 2 party political system. You have to SHOUT and pretend THE WORLD IS BURNING GAYS STEAL BABIES ALL POLICE IS RACIST EVERYTHING BAD THAT HAPPENED TO YOU IS BECAUSE OF THE OTHER DONT VOTE FOR THEM to scare 1% of voters one way or the other and get political power.

Messages of those extremes make their way over the big pond way way more often than the lady doing a job that she enjoys, having a pleasant evening with her family.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

A large portion of men are not doing mentally well at all. Increasing suicide rates and decreasing employment participation are just some of the indicators here.

Because they feel weak, there is a tendency to gravitate towards strongmen and dreams of dominance which lead to aggressive antisocial behaviors.

There does not appear to be anyone attempting to solve any of these problems main because those who could fix the problems are the ones who are able to utilize these fears for personal gain. Monetarily and or for political power. A subset of these people are amplifying these problems for the same purpose, personal gain.

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