Oh noooo, he suffered a few days and then got to hang out with his dad in heaven for eternity and be worshipped by billions of people. What a sacrifice!
this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2024
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Idk man I don't think I would be okay with being nailed to a cross even if i knew it meant living in heaven for eternity
Fair enough, but I also don't think that we should consider a few days of suffering for an eternity of basically being god much of a sacrifice.
There's a significant amount of rape in the BIble. And a lot of it is condoned.
Nowhere in the Bible does it say sex slavery is a bad thing. But it sure does like talking about how all of those divine kings had concubines.
"blasting rope" the synonyms for masterbation continues to grow longer
This is the internet, you can say masturbation, you know.
that was a spelling mistake but I'm gonna keep it as another synonym now lol
Or maybe that's not a sin 😏
"Spilling seed" is a sin... So confirmed that Jesus saw it and thought it was worth forgiving by dying on a cross for.
Eh. The thing Catholics use to say spilling seed is a sin is them completely misunderstanding what was happening.
So this dude Onan’s brother died without giving his wife any sons (or maybe children in general, I don’t remember). So according to tradition at the time, Onan was supposed to provide her with a son. But once he gave her a son, his job would be complete and he wouldn’t get to bang her anymore. So he pulled out.
The problem here wasn’t that he spilled his seed, it was that he spilled his seed in order to keep banging his brother’s widow.
But the Roman Catholic Church at some point was like, “OMG masturbation must be bad too!” So they decided that masturbation should he called “Onanism.” Which is ridiculous, dude is famous for pulling out, not jackin’ it.
🙄
Yeah I really don't care about why it's that way. I'm atheist. I just know that's what I was told when they were attempting to indoctrinate me my entire childhood. It's also part of why I quoted it... and why I treated it as the joke that it is.
But...
The problem here wasn’t that he spilled his seed, it was that he spilled his seed in order to keep banging his brother’s widow.
So the idea is that succumbing to hedonism is the problem (desiring the act over his duties)... of which I'm sure we can all agree that masturbation is basically 100% of the time outside of let's say clearing the chamber after a vasectomy or some other medical procedure. It makes sense regardless why catholocism would come to that conclusion based on their faith in the fictitious book regardless.
Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted, god gets quite irate!
"Spilling seed" is a sin...
First off, I've never read the Bible, so apologies for any ignorance I'm about to display.
Second, how literal are we talking here? Like, do backshots count as "spilling seed"? What if she's a spitter, is she doomed to eternal damnation? Is hot creampie sex the only legal sex, according to the Bible?
I have no fucking clue... I think it's crazy. But the idea that Jesus witnessed all of that and decided that dying to absolve us of it all is fucking hilarious.
I just like the idea that he saw a donkey show and said, "yep... that's worth dying for!"
Is hot creampie sex the only legal sex, according to the Bible?
I do believe so...
Don't kink shame Jesus. He was human like all of us
I find it hard to believe spilling it is more of a sin than saving it in a jar in the fridge.
I find it hard to believe spilling it is more of a sin than saving it in a jar in the fridge.
He saw that too... and died for it. So it must be worth it.
maybe that's what made their deity decide to die. seeing the future blast rope to waluigi and then save it in a jar
Must be the most divine act to make the son of god die to save it.
It would be disrespectful to stop at this point.
Now I get why the incels are excited with the ultraconservative agenda.
They say "biblical values" and incels hear "free rape."
Jesus died so we could have bread. He is risen!
Also, rape porn is very much in keeping with biblical values.
I would thank Jesus for bread, but didn't we have the stuff figured out quite a while before he showed up?
y'all need a good cook named Jesus in your lives. you get to thank Jesus personally and also swap baking tips.
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I don't understand why people are making it such a big deal. Jesus died, yes, but he has risen from the dead after a few days. So basically he only died for a weekend, for the human race. "Oh what a brave man! He gave up his weekend!" There are other people who did much more for the human race, like Fritz Haber for example. Also, necromancy isn't allowed according to the bible, so zombie Jesus broke the rules.
Fritz Haber for example
I mean....... Haber isn't exactly a giant of morality and ethics. He did invent most of the chemical weapons utilized in WW1, and expressly defended their use as weapons.
He tried to kill people and ended up helping feed the world, then he tried to feed people and ended up helping the Holocaust. The guy is a fascinating historical figure but definitely a was a monster.
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I’m kinda bummed out about necromancy though :/
Yeah me too, my favorite hobby but instead I'm only allowed to indoctrinate kids.
Your dad sent you here to suffer and die? Big deal that's what the rest of us are doing.
Hahaha and his dad didn't even beat him or told him he's a disappointment
Jesus wasn't a zombie, Jesus was a lich.
Edit: found the pic!
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I'm a Christian myself, but I swear - zealous or ostentatious Christians are some of the meanest, nasties and most awful people I know.
Coming from deeply catholic region, I know lots of such people. They will judge you for not being like them, they will absolutely try to convert you, and they are definitely the most hateful and straight out ignorant people I ever met.
I don't blame the religion though, because these people are obviously not following Jesus, but rather the spiteful catholic church.
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