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That sounds like something Zapp Brannigan would claim to have.

Well, shit. I have this. It actually sucks.

From just this year, I can recall:

• My spouse smacking my arm when I was furiously masturbating right next to her. I woke up with my erection in my hand. I asked her if she recalled it in the morning but she didn’t even remember smacking my arm.
• My spouse informing me on two mornings last month about attempting to initiate during the night.

I can’t sleep next to anyone who doesn’t know about the condition and consents to the possibility of having to wake me to stop it. It caused friction in my early marriage (no other serious gfs) but once my spouse helped me realize what I was doing did i understand this occurred.

I woke up once in the middle of having sex with my then-girlfriend. After we finished I was like, “You could’ve woken me up at least before we started.” She was like, “What are you talking about? You started all that!” So I guess it’s a real thing, my body just wants to bang at all hours.

The level of jokes in this comment thread (circa 7:28PM PT Apr. 28) tells me that people really, really don't have great frames of reference for mental disorders of any kind. The article subheadings literally go

• Sexsomnia can ruin lives

• What triggers sexsomnia?

• Behavioral treatments are also available

This shit ruins lives. Lost relationships, arrests, and a complete inability to find any amount of support because of the sensitive nature of the condition. I have ARFID, a condition I won't even explain because it's gonna attract trolls like flies. I have lived in fear because of how it is associated with kids. It dictates my entire life. I have to plan where I can and cannot go to all the time, every day, monitoring what I consume so I don't fall into self destruction.

There is no direct cure for ARFID, just like the article explains for sexsomnia. I have had immense help with my condition when I found the right doctor. The fact that they understood my diagnosis and approached me with extreme respect made me cry. That's how deprived of support I was at 22 years old.

Love thy neighbor. Don't assume anything because you don't someone's demons.

I get it. I have like, life ruining levels of insomnia, which is like 90% because I have extreme nightmares every time I fall asleep. They're so bad sometimes I wake up crying. Sometimes I don't fall asleep because I know what's waiting for me when I eventually lose consciousness. I'm so thankful when I have no dreams at all. I've talked to doctors and psychologists about it and they just shrug at me like, wow that sounds tough. Nobody has ever helped me with it. And really who would take it seriously? It's just nightmares right? What adult is afraid to go to sleep? To dream about loved ones dying in gruesome ways right before their eyes? Or getting murdered in horrible ways, tortured to death, trampled, eaten alive by insects, being responsible for killing my whole family in a car crash, falling to death and remembering what the impact felt like, having my eyeballs plucked from my head, my stomach torn open and my guts devoured while I'm still alive. I'm not even close to the end of the list of what I've experienced over half of my life. Yeah they're just nightmares. But I have to experience them. For the rest of my life.

The only fighting chance I've been given is to move to a state where weed is legal because it basically prevents me from dreaming at all.

So I definitely have this, although it's seems to have waned as I've gotten older. We didn't even know it was a thing, and my wife and I referred to it as "sleep molesting" until I came across it on the Internet one day.

Luckily, it's only happened when sharing a bed with my wife/gf. Plenty of times her, knowing it happens, just wakes me up to laugh (or be angry i woke her) and tell me to stop. Always scared when I share a bed with someone, even tho it has never happened.

I remember one time going on a ski trip with one my my best friends. We booked one room, but it said it had two beds.

Turns out it didnt, and it was going to be a week. I had to warn him.

His response? "Oh so you suffer what every guy suffers from?"

"Wait, it happens to you too?"

"Yeah i'll often have a dream where im having sex for some weird reason, like keeping a polar bear out of my igloo, and I'll wake up having sex with my gf."

" Yeah, that's not normal at all."

I can laugh about it now, but at the time I was like "wtf is going to happen? Are we going to have gay sex in our sleep?" Although he is a good looking guy, so if it was anyone it would best if it were him. Lol

I remember that episode of House

I was raped by someone who them rolled over after and asked if we had sex.. maybe they weren't lying? I didn't push them off because I was also asleep, then in shock. After that I'm told I punch and kick pretty violently in my sleep.

My partner has it to.

Sometimes it is a fast. Finger in there. I call it the 'check if this is still female'. It waked me up but nothing more. Frustrates me more than you can immagine.

There is the longer time having his hand over my tits. Iff he gets to playing with the nippels I start joining. Manuelly getting him hard and during his sleep he still doos the rest.

Rarely we have the 'wet noodle is lonely'. Tries to hump but... Nothing more. Also waked me up ;(.

My favorite ( the haha type ) is when he starts talking. 'come fucking' 'frick frick frick' 'now now yes now' 'legs open... fock'. Often it is when he is a bit wilder. Rolling up me and starting the penetration. He speeks often in his sleep btw. Not only for sexxy times.

My favorite ( the oh yes type ) When it comes to sex and I have fun.

The next morning I always ask 'When during fucking you woke up?' Sometimes he had the ' i did it again?' Sometimes it is ' somewhere during being inside you. I did xxx. What happened befor ?'

He always (when he can t remember ) thinks it is sad. He misses a bit off the sexy and nice times between us like that.

But tbh... I m the one with the bigger sexdrive. An extra turn when it did not happen when going to bed is for me always welcome.

My partner is 40 and I am 41. We are 13 years together. He has SSRI medication / ADHD stuff and some other medication. Sometimes beta-blockers and atm he takes something that has as a side effect to sleep better. He has often stress at work.
We were looking if the sexsomnia was stress-related but even when it happend than a bit more. It is not only during those times. We have no ID about a trigger.

Now it is yust a part off our relation. Could be months without the sleep-fucking and than in one week 3 times.

We have a good relation. When I found out he has it... We talked. He was upset after hearing what he did and said.

I experienced this a bit for a year or two after my wife and I had a kid. I don't know if it was the reduced frequency of sex or what. I'd usually come to and realize I'm feeling my wife's tits and grinding against her. She's usually engaged as well at this point, but I'm always embarrassed and ashamed by the time I realize what's going on. I think we only carried out the rest of it once or twice, but usually I snap out of it when things start heating up. Feels rapey and I don't like it, even if she thinks it's funny. Fortunately it hasn't happened in ages.