Thats not fair at all, you ever see a dude wanting to fight and you tell him to calm down. I think telling pissed people to cool out just fires them up.
this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2025
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Tell them to get angrier and short circuit them instead.
Get mad about it idiot
Bonus points if you’re completely uninvolved and just walking past an argument.
I wonder if that would work, like you just start getting mad at them for how half hearted they are about the whole thing. Start saying 'if you are only going to be 10% tough about this shit you should just sit down'
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Yeah, the only way that I've found really works is to use "I" statements.
Aiaiai, you need to calm down!
Yeah, I feel like there's rarely a "calm down" window for the men that need to hear it. There's calm, then there's hurting themselves by breaking things or hurting other people. "You need to calm the fuck down!" is likely to work, whereas "You need to calm down" will only make things work.
Insecurities fuelled by testosterone. Where fisty cuffing anything appears to be a positive step toward sound resolution.
I think you are right I think a lot of men just have a snapping line, where they will bottle it all up till they pop and if they would have just not bottled they could have been spun down a bit.
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My experience is that all upset people love to be told to calm down. 😉
TIL I am a woman
Happy Pride. Or Wrath as the case may be.
Happy pride! Don't know what wraith is, but it sounds bad ass so thanks for that roo!
misspelling. I meant Wrath.
I'm not the smartest man, and i so don't know what you mean, help a sister out?
Pride is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. So is Wrath.
It’s usually the person who’s screwing you over in the first place who tells you to calm down about it.
instead of "calm down" why not say "learn better coping techniques to handle my gaslighting, because it annoys me"
Thanks I’ll try this!
"relax" is one of the banned words I cannot use with my wife. If she was shouting about something and I said the word "relax", it would start a fight probably leading to divorce
That sounds kind of abusive, ngl
Yeah it sounds like someone need to calm down about being told to calm down honestly.
Oh and "calm your tits" is a phrase only to be used when someone involuntarily starts lactating
when my cat is being a little too impatient while I'm givong her her dinner, I tell her to calm all six of her tits. hasn't worked once but I find it funny.
The most incendiary 2-word phrase in the English language. Said by anyone to anyone.
It's belittling and aggressive and dismissive and infuriating all at once.
Even saying something as similar as "get a grip!" has a much better chance of success.
calm down, it's not that incendiary.
Found worse by accident. "Chill". Just, nothing more.
I really have to keep watvh on myself to not use it...it was my default...
Personally I would still prefer to hear chill, maybe you stumbled on that person's trigger. Or perhaps it's an age thing. I associate it with peers, but maybe for them it's parents.
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Sometimes people do need to calm down though
So use any one of the multitudinous other phrases available in English to actually HELP them become calmer or less agitated. Respond to the facts of the individual situation instead. "He's not worth it." "You're better than this/you have been doing so much better, don't let this set you back." "You're in a bad trip man, gonna have to ride it out as easy as you can." "Chill, dude." "Take a deep breath." (This may be followed by one loud long scream, but that's cathartic and may be followed by rational behavior)
Nobody, no matter how much they need to get control over their emotions and behavior, needs to "calm down".
I've found that "you're embarrassing yourself" usually produces results with a large magnitude and a highly variable direction
I've said "nobody wants to hear your bullshit" which also tends to have a very large effect. Which way the effect swings is completely unknowable but the dynamic will be very different after haha
You need to relax...
You are getting sleeeeepy...
the suns getting real low
That's a good one!
Edit: Maybe the Avengers could have gotten Big Hulk going for them if they'd told Banner to calm down!
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My Anger is Just AND RIGHTEOUS! NOBODY TELLS ME TO CALM THE FUCK DOWN UNTIL I DO!
Clam down.
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I AM CALM!!
He said like Dumbledore
Listen to the woman John!
Calm down! Just calm down!
I think Abraham Lincoln's head just did that.
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