this post was submitted on 27 May 2025
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top 33 comments
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[–] [email protected] 82 points 3 days ago (2 children)

He's moved on to another plane.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 days ago

they asked him if he wanted to jump. he said, "neigh"

this is a clear case of horse-icide.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago

*another plain. Where the grass is greenest

[–] gravitas_deficiency 39 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

You're 5000 candles in the wind...

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Ok, so this was a lot funnier than I would have expected. I love absurdist humor and this caught me by surprise.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I hope the horse was alright though

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

Of course he is! He's with Jeebus now.

[–] cantstopthesignal 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

He's feeding dogs in heaven now. Also here on earth too.

[–] AlecSadler 16 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Someone please feel free to enlighten me, but my horse riding friends say this is pretty fucked up and not something the horse would ever get used to.

[–] Apytele 27 points 3 days ago (3 children)

When you read the headline you're thinking the parachute didn't open, but this raises the possibility that it just had a heart attack.

[–] AlecSadler 14 points 3 days ago

Oh, no, I think based on other articles the horse died of other causes. But the consensus amongst people I know is that this was just fucked up animal torture on some level.

Like, I'm fine if the horse was also fine and seemed into skydiving. I just have zero evidence of that.

[–] ryedaft 12 points 3 days ago

I think the problem may have been that a horse doesn't know how to pull the cord to deploy the parachute. Hindsight is 20/20 and all that.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This reminds me of the story of engineering students who wanted to test their parachute on the bunny mascot of their department. They threw the poor lagomorph from the top of a building.

The parachute held, the lil guy's heart did not.

[–] Apytele 4 points 3 days ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

There's no way that this is actually real right??

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

Lol

And someday soon, once we’ve cleaned off and done some troubleshooting on the prototype horse parachute God Himself revealed to us in a vision,

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Horses do not get used to unfamiliar environments. They have an environment they like and anything else kinda stresses them out. They're big dumb skittish animals that long for quiet open fields of grass with nice firm rocky soil.

So yeah, taking a horse and throwing it on an aircraft would spook the bajesus out of it. Throwing it off again would probably scare it to death, if the landing, however gentle, doesn't kill it

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I’m hoping that this is The Daily Mash or The Onion or something….it doesn’t even look like horses like it on roads.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

It's satire yeah.

And they don't! But they'll put up with it if whoever the horse in charge is says it's ok.

To note, the horse in charge is very likely the guy on the horse's back. The horse does not seem to be confused by this arrangement.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago (2 children)

So is there like canonically a horse heaven?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

I think so. There's at least one horse god

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

Up in horsey heaven, here's the thing
You trade your legs for angels wings
And once we’ve all said good-bye
You take a running leap and you learn to fly

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Did they accidentally give him the backpack full of camping supplies instead of the parachute?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

No, they changed the pack colour for the camping stuff last time this happened. Unfortunately they forgot to change the pack colour for the portable anvil as well...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Damn, ACME did it again.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

"Briefly, but then he fumbled."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

Step one, cover horse's eyes and plug ears. Step 2, walk horse onto large airplane. Step 3, get said airplane up into the air. Step 4, run with horse towards the open back end of airplane until the horse exits the vehicle. Step 5... Hold up, did we miss the one step where you would strap that large backpack over there to its back? Hmm. Step 6 purchase second horse, specifically a live one.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

Praise be to Sülde Tngri 🐴🐴🐴

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago