this post was submitted on 21 May 2025
772 points (97.9% liked)

memes

14884 readers
4945 users here now

Community rules

1. Be civilNo trolling, bigotry or other insulting / annoying behaviour

2. No politicsThis is non-politics community. For political memes please go to [email protected]

3. No recent repostsCheck for reposts when posting a meme, you can only repost after 1 month

4. No botsNo bots without the express approval of the mods or the admins

5. No Spam/AdsNo advertisements or spam. This is an instance rule and the only way to live.

A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment

Sister communities

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago

Commit harakiri obviously

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago

4.5% of the population are psychopaths. 1.4% have a degree in maths.

coincidence?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 hours ago

This is how the hunger games started

[–] [email protected] 4 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

you have the knife, ‘equally’ means you get all the apples

[–] [email protected] 10 points 18 hours ago

Just cut them right down the middle. Four slices each person takes one and the last is left to rot. It says share equally not share the entire apple

[–] [email protected] 2 points 13 hours ago

Comments full of people earnestly trying to solve the problem without breaking the law lol

[–] [email protected] 16 points 21 hours ago

Cut both apples into 10 slices each. And then, the richest person takes 18 slices. Because that's how capitalism works, baby.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 21 hours ago (3 children)

shouldn't be that hard, but I understand that 94% can't do it.

line up the apples, a line that will cut the first apple into 2/3 vs 1/3 will also cut the next apple in same proportion. 1 person gets the 2 sliced 1/3s

[–] BlueMagma 1 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Apples are not homogenous, the underlying requirement when asking for "equal share" is that no one is dissatisfied with his/her share, or envy someone else's share. The solution is a dynamic process :

After explaining it clearly to everyone, hover the knife above the left of the first apple as if you were going to cut it through but without doing it, move the knife slowly to the right until one of the three participants says he is happy with that share, cut the apple at that point and that participant gets that share. Then do the same with the second apple and the remaining unserved participants. Whoever doesn't have anything after that gets the remaining two slices.

Since everyone "could have" spoke earlierto get a share, everyone has a share that they consider the best in their frame of reference and everyone is satisfied.

This solution also works with more than three participants

Edit: I just now realised the goal was to do it in a single cut

[–] [email protected] 13 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

Stack the apples on top of each other, and proceed to do a single spiral cut down from the top stem, out towards the edge, and then back to the center in a single fluid motion. It won't solve the problem, but it'll look damn cool

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

Let's assume you can stack the apples, and passing through both is still 1 stroke. That means cutting through 10 could still be considered 1 stroke.

Stack the apples.

Cut entirely through the top one directly in half.

Continue cutting through the second one.

As you cut through it, one of the people takes the top apple, rotates it 60 degrees, and puts it under the bottom apple.

Finish cutting through the now top apple and continue cutting through the now bottom apple (the original top that was already in half).

Repeat this until you've cut each into 6 pieces like this (picture not mathematically accurate, for visual purposes only).

Give everyone 4 each.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

You forgot about the cores.

Cores are non edible volume so you probably need to cut closer to 68-70%.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago

Damn you ruined it

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My solution is cut both apples in half, and take two halves, because I am more equal than others.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Some animals are more equal than others...

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (6 children)

Line em up and cut a third off both apples in one go? Everyone gets 2/3? Seems simple right? Consider the core. I don't think it's possible if you consider the core. You have to kill one of your friends.

You have to kill one of your friends.

You have to kill one of your friends.

Choose which one of your friends to kill.

Reach for the knife before someone else does.

You have to kill one of your friends.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 21 hours ago

Michael: See, the trolley problem forces you to choose between two versions of letting other people die. And the actual solution is very simple. Sacrifice yourself.

-- The Good Place

[–] [email protected] 2 points 22 hours ago

Killing one of your friends might not be the optimal solution.

But one of your friends might think it is.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Rotate each apple 90 degrees so that core is parallel to the ground and perpendicular to the knife, now its split equally

If more than one person hates the stem part then yea it's murder time

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

The core isn't evenly distributed along the axis though, it's like a small thingy in the center. Definitely murder time

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This is actually the sandwich problem, which states there is exactly one slice that will split a sandwich of 3 elements into exactly 2 halves regardless of the shape or position of those elements. We don't need the full proof, but the problem is continuous, so any desired ratio is possible, therefore you will always be able to slice an apple into exactly 1/3 and 2/3rds "good bits", so a single slice will always be able to do the job.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Or you could sacrifice yourself, you murderous bastard.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

But then I would be dead.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 23 hours ago

Because the 6% are psychopaths capable of murder. I thought it was closer to 3% of the population though

[–] [email protected] 5 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

cut one in half. then take turns each taking an equally sized bite

[–] [email protected] 3 points 20 hours ago

If you cut one in half then the two survivors get one whole apple each.

[–] lagoon8622 1 points 17 hours ago

Bite bite pass

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Cut both apples in half. One half for the blonde, one half for brownie, one half for the ginger, and the last half for the animals or something.

[–] bestboyfriendintheworld 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Last half for the painter of this picture.

[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (19 children)

I will be the cpt obv

1/3 1/3

<=======]==o

2/3 2/3

load more comments (19 replies)
[–] [email protected] 198 points 2 days ago (8 children)

Ah damn it's one of those single-use knives.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 day ago (2 children)

If you have one guy draw the knife over a long surface and distance, the other two can use that one slicing motion to cut the apples any number of times.

ONE STROKE, 99 cuts!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 23 hours ago

I got 99 cuts, but a stroke ain't one

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

Just eat out the apples together, ignoring the knife. Just take a bite and pass the apple to the next person, repeating the process until there is just a core. Not very sanitary, but mission accomplished.

load more comments
view more: next ›