I’ve been watching a lot of those documentaries and they are just making me hate the police even more. Most come down to complete ineptitude and ignorance by the police who are ignoring red flags and being lazy idiots
this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2025
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That's why my dad told me to always get a receipt. It's not a business thing, it's an alibi thing!
Is he still getting cigarettes?
Mines got a twenty year trail of receipts. The stores keep mailing them to us & it’s the only way we know where he is
Yeah
This is why it's common in the black community to get a receipt whenever you buy anything. You can't prove where you are at all times, but you can prove that you were at a particular time and place. Might save you from being railroaded for a crime you didn't commit.
"When the heck would I ever need to prove I paid for a doughnut?"
"When you're being tried for murder and the only alibi you got is buying a doughnut."
And not so you are not accused of stealing? That's my reason of getting receipts.
I have never heard that before, but that makes a depressing amount of sense.
Damn, never thought of that. There's a REASON I might need to prove I bought a doughnut!
It's ok, your phone tracks your location.
So leave it at home when you go on that crime spree.
How will I be able to get anyway without map on my phone?
even better, lend it to a friend to carry around town
I like all the suggestions in here about how to avoid getting caught for murder through your phone
My tip for not getting caught would be: probably don't murder someone in the first place unless they really really deserve it
I guess we're all Luigis now.
That doesn’t protect your ass when you get accused of a crime you didn’t commit.
There are nearly 3000 billionaires worldwide. Collectively they own 14 trillion in wealth.
This is nearly double all of the wealth held by every other person in the world, combined.
Why don't we just get rid of them? Are we stupid?
Yes
Yes. Very.
fr -- but /c/wooosh, it's batmanarkham reference
Perfect cover, Scott....
what is the definition of really really deserve it?
Being too inquisitive
Brian
top marks for not tryin
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Yeah turns out, "sitting in my room alone playing video games," isn't much of an alibi. I should get some hobbies that involve people. Like...multi-player games.
This is why there are so many Twitch streamers. They get nothing out of it except for a perfect alibi.
I am envisioning the perfect mystery novel for the proper author.
Sounds more just like a one-off episode of Poker Face or Elsbeth or some shit...
Funny story, (Funny might not be the right word) there actually was a killer who murdered his girlfriend because she was pregnant and didn't want an abortion.
In order to cover for this, he found out exactly how long it'd take to get to her house and back, recorded him playing GTA for that long.
He was found out because cameras on the street found him walking near her house, during the "live" event.
There were also bugs in the stream where the message "Time to die" showed up (in the context of an "ad" for a James Bond film), which were just his little way of bragging about his crime, like he was the Riddler or something.
He did too good a job with his timing, because the "glitch" happened pretty much exactly at the time of death.
I've seen enough of these "Perfect Murder Fails" go wrong, and it's usually people who think they're more clever than they really are pretty much giving all the evidence to the police.
I know of another where a film maker rented an old house, made it look like a stereotypical serial killer's lair, filmed part of a low budget horror movie on it, and then killed a guy there.
Lemme lay down some flash non-fiction written in first person to tell you how that went
"See, it looks like a murder happened here, but the brilliant part is: It's a set for a movie that I can prove I've been making! Meaning I can just not clean up after my own killing and hide in plain sight! Aaaaaand they're testing the fake blood I used because it doesn't look or smell anything like costume blood.... And I left my manifesto cleverly disguised as my script in the car that they can now search because the blood tested positive for being real blood, meaning probable cause. I'll just say it's my own blood and I wanted it to be realistic! That can salvage this! Oh right tests like that also kinda tell you who's blood it is, meaning they know it's the victms.... and my "script" describes the victim's wounds so perfectly it can't be coincidence... Wow, I'm fucked."
The story of the filmmaker is probably one of the funniest true crime stories I've ever heard. Obviously, the murder itself is incredibly tragic, because that shitstain just catfished some random guy and murdered him in cold blood purely to stroke his ego, but the story literally feels like a dark comedy.
However, the dude thought he was basically Dexter and far more intelligent than he actually was. He wrote a fucking screenplay describing himself as this super genius sex machine, while documenting his crime in great detail and claiming it was just a coincidence the murder lined up almost identically. Then the way he tried to cover his tracks were so comically inept, it only made his guilt even more obvious.
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I think if you have a Fitbit or something similar on they can prove where you are?
Just having your phone should do that.
So, so many crimes are solved mainly through phone metadata
Just remember boys and girls, leave your phone at home when you go murder.
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Shitty Pro Tips:
Turn on Google Maps Location History and act like a "normie". (You should probably do this for a few months to establish a good and lenthy history)
Then when you want to do ~~murder~~ surprise deprivation of someone's life, leave your phone at home and use a pre-recorded voice of you that would activate and use the Google/Siri assistant at the same time as when you do the deed.
Voila, ez alibi!
To be fair, if you're going to do something really illegal, you shouldn't bring your phone with you anyway, or at least put it on airplane mode. Even without Google Maps, the cell towers will triangulate your approximate location and time, and it's basically the first thing police pull if there's a crime in an area.
You'll also probably need to make sure you conceal your face as you walk by a million ring doorbell cameras, because those will rat you out and disprove your alibi.
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Even better, my location history proves I regularly go on 5 hour drives in the middle of the night so it's not at all out of character that I drove to the middle of the woods where the body was found at 3am
wait that's not a good thing is it
what do you mean they found more bodies
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What's far more likely to happen if you do that is that you get caught up in a dragnet and accused of a crime you haven't committed because they know you were nearby and need a fall guy.
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