this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2024
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 274 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 weeks ago

This is one of those comments I read, think it's clever, click back and start to move on. Then I audibly chuckle and have to come back and upvote it. Well done :)

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[–] [email protected] 232 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

They're eating the babies.

They're eating the toddlers.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago

They're eating the votes... Of the people that live there...

[–] [email protected] 193 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

That does it, I'm not voting for him.

Edit: he jokingly nommed on a turkey costume and an ice cream cone.

[–] jballs 21 points 3 weeks ago

Honestly, if Trump did this it would completely change my view of him. Jokingly gnawing on a baby turkey leg is a very human thing to do, and I just could never see Trump doing it.

[–] [email protected] 126 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Fascinating article. Baiting the right to read it, then dropping truth on them?

Jenna Ellis, a suspended lawyer who used to work for Donald Trump and who pleaded guilty to "aiding and abetting false statements" in an attempt to overturn Joe Biden's 2020 victory in Georgia, posted an article of Biden biting a baby on X, writing: "How is this real?"

[–] [email protected] 62 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Funny of you to think that they'll read it.

[–] lurch 70 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 weeks ago

If it converts a single R voter, it'll have a bigger positive impact on the election than either of us will.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago

The fact that this extremely unserious story is being taken extremely seriously by all parties involved is hilarious to me. Not just the faux outrage by the conservative media, but the shots being fired back by the lib media in response.

[–] [email protected] 74 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

Ok, first, LMAO that this is real.

Second, the entire political media apparatus in the US has completely lost grasp with reality. Conservative media has predictably reacted to this with faux outrage, but the fucking liberal response to the conservative response is hilariously combative:

Conservative commentator Benny Johnson, whom the Department of Justice recently alleged was unwittingly paid by Russian state media to produce Kremlin sympathetic content, reposted an image of Biden biting the baby in the turkey costume.

"Apparently Joe Biden is biting babies at The White House this evening," he wrote. His post had been viewed 740,000 times by Thursday morning.

Lol, like - sure - all objectively true. But throwing out 'he's a paid russian agent' accusations against a tweet that's pointing to something Biden actually did is batshit crazy lol. Is the implication that russia is paying Johnson to fabricate a story about Biden biting babies?

The US political media has become a parody of itself and all I can do is laugh at it.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 3 weeks ago

The article is drawing comparisons between what conservatives choose to be outraged by vs the things they actively engage in.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Wouldn't you like to know who's a Russian rat up front?

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago

It would be parody except this year several popular influencers we're discovered to be russian-funded tools.

https://apnews.com/article/russian-interference-presidential-election-influencers-trump-999435273dd39edf7468c6aa34fad5dd

So it's not that far-fetched.

Now I'm not saying Johnson is fabricating a story, but he very clearly could be swayed to skew the narrative with a few extra bucks in his pocket.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I agree this is all crazy, but Russia is probably also actually paying people to fabricate a story about Biden biting babies.

It's not paranoia if they're really after you!

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Americans can turn anything into a controversy, well anything except a convicted rapist vocally announcing his plans to start mass killing civilians using the army.

Honestly, I don't care anymore. Next week nobody will remember, and they'll find another random thing to yell about.

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

People: "That baby is so cute, I could just eat them up!"

Conservatives:

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 weeks ago

Nice trick by Newsweek to include plenty of criticism of what is essentially an old grandpa having weird but harmless fun while also making sure that every criticism is coming from absolutely unhinged and clearly partisan people with no reliability whatsoever 😄

[–] [email protected] 44 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

How have we arrived in a world where a grandpa can't tell a corny grandpa joke anymore.

Next you're going to term me that pretending to take your kids nose is akin to threatening torture under the Geneva convention...

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

If Trump were president, he would playfully bite teenaged girls in the neck.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

Bold of you to think trump would go down on anyone.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Trump is the kind of guy, who thinks women's orgasm is a myth.

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

NGL, I'd be right up there with Joe chomping on those baby hammies. I fucking adore kids and babies.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I've chomped all my kids. Cuteness aggression is a thing.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The squeals when you give them raspberries are the best.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

Even if they're crying, it immediately makes them laugh and disarms their tantrum!

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 weeks ago

Normal people: Biden being silly for the kids at an event.

Conservatives: Biden, running critically low on adrenochromes at a White House event, goes full mask off and attempts to bite a baby in the full view of the public to get at the nourishing blood supply in it's youthful veins before the foul necromancy that binds him to this mortal coil wanes and the shell that houses his damned soul is reduced to the dust of aeons gone by.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 weeks ago

definitely not voting for that guy

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 weeks ago

The scenes drew sharp reactions from conservative influencers on social media

When every prominent “conservative influencer” is a bad faith jabroni paid by the Russians to divide our populace, this comment doesn’t carry a lot of weight

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 weeks ago

Oh, no! Not bewilderment and criticism from conservative influencers on social media!!!

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 weeks ago

I just want to say that baby's turkey costume is using dish gloves for the "feet" and it's so derpy that I love it.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Can't believe such a cute innocent moment is being spun to make biden seem like a devil. The baby was actually laughing due to the foolery of Biden. We all do stupid things to make babies laugh and that is what Biden did.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago

He appears to be wearing a zombie president costume, so it's a character piece

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I KNEW IT!!! This explains why you never see his reflection in a mirror!

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Everybody knows the Democrats are transdimensional space vampires, so no surprise here.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

It's 2024.

You HAVE to ass the '/s' mark to any post like that, because Jewish space lasers and LGBT weather control are a thing.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I'm not supposed to share this but I work in the Jewish space laser division and I can tell you that the weather control is actually done with other, invisible Jewish space lasers.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago

The spirt of champ has entered Joe's bidens body

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago

The GOP is still busy running against him. Biden got them all wearing trash bags now. Half the country is hopeless.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

YOU FOOL! He's going to think you are a peach now, RUN!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

Don't you kink shame me!

[–] brown567 11 points 3 weeks ago

I bite my baby even when he's not in a food-shaped costume, he loves it!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah! Grandpa stuff!

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