Pretty sure they will find a way to look good on paper while still doing more harm than good
this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2024
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"In order to adequately test our new carbon capture system, obviously, we had to dump a couple trillion more tons of carbon into the atmosphere. Which, yeah, granted, does make it all that much more upsetting that the system didn't actually work."
They'll all buy credits, problem solved!
Can we rebrand normal taxation as Non Fungible Energy Credits??
Considering that the USD is sometimes called the "petrodollar", we're just a name-change away.
"We changed the legal definition of carbon and have saved the planet"
They already do! It's called carbon credits
They will probably overdo it, probably with iron fertilisation of the ocean, and start a fucking ice age.
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I bet they're too dumb and poor to even know how to remove carbon from the atmosphere. Only people with really big penises and lots of money know how to remove carbon from the atmosphere. Oh, well...
They can't even remove micro plastics from the environment and even my peasant testicles can do that
Step 1 - Take carbon from atmosphere
Step 2 - Compress carbon into diamonds
Step 3 - ???
Step 4 - Profit!
Swap steps 1 and 3.
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They'd still do more harm
They still haven't decided the pissing match over who can profit the most off pumping the atmosphere full of CO2.
They will urinate us to the stone age.
Reading the word 'billionaires' and then 'removing ... from our atmosphere', my brain wasn't computing.
'Billionaires removing oxygen to sell back to us' would make sense.
Removing oxygen from billionaires isn't the worst idea either. Maybe by sending them down to the Titanic or off to Mars.
That's a doctor who episode
Gotta sneak it in the side... let's try "who can build the largest/most diamonds from atmospheric carbon".
It's a start. Honestly, industrial grade diamonds - the small ones with poor optical quality that go into abrasives, saws - would be even better. And that would side-step the elephant in the room: upsetting the DeBeers diamond cartel.
That said, we need a staggering amount of renewable energy to pull this off, but it's doable. And as far as sequestration goes, the only tech we have that's anywhere near as good is turning CO2 into plastic and permanently burying it in landfills. That's how important this is.
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Oh. It's a thing. I thought it was an onion type site for a few moments.
No, because someone would remove all the carbon and all the plants world die.
imagine atmospheric carbon becoming a delicacy. fuck....
But then the line might go up more slowly for a while! Everything must be sacrificed to the line!
Maybe it’ll be a new “line go up” metric and replace the existing line with a better one..?
Wishful thinking, I know.
There is only one chance to end world hunger, as soon as its solved nobody else can do it! Imagine the prestige!
Sadly, even that wouldn't work, they would just start sabotaging each other and no one would accomplish it, and once again the suffering would fall on the impoverished
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No, it wouldn't.
They'd come up with dodgy and dangerous schemes that would probably just cause more damage. And that would just be before they found a way to monetize it all...
Does the liberals on here not have the foggiest clue how capitalism works?
Absolutely! Look at what happened to Mr I Want To Go See The Titanic Personally. That was with his own life on the line! Not to mention his teenage son! Please god don't trust the rest of our fucking lives to these maniacs.
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They'd do what they do with green washing currently; measure what they took out, but not how much the put in doing it!
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Neal Stephenson wrote a great novel about this. Check out Termination Shock.
Elon, probably: "You're all trying to undo your carbon emissions while I'm making electric cars to lower my carbon footprint. If it's not clear who’s the winner, it's because you're too focused on being a pedo."
I'd rather see a posting match over who can pay the most taxes.
Don't hold your breath.
Depending on where you live, that may be the best option.
They'd find a way to fuck it up
That's just going to take resources away from other things. Such as keeping fossil fuel plants open as clean power gets diverted to carbon removal.
No help. Only hurt.
Literally.
Make it the new currency.
New contest! See which billionair can remove the most billionaires from the earth. Last one standing gets to live. Ok, well maybe at least a movie.
They are now confused. How will that increase their meaningless high score number?
They came up with a device to do this at scale, however it IS powered by orphan blood.
That's fine, we can start with the oldest billionaires and work our way down.
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This is exactly what they would all be doing if we just made the goddamn digital carbon currency!
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