this post was submitted on 08 May 2024
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Kinda makes a bit more sense when you consider that the school is in Sultan, Washington and it's address is on Turk Drive.
But also: Washington state.... redneck?
As an European, I can confirm that all Americans (south and north) are Yankee rednecks
As a Texan, I can't read goddamn thing between my wild diabetes eyes and rampant illiteracy
How can you afford wild diabetes in 2024? Even pasture raised costs an arm and a leg.
Eastern European = Southern America.
Hey, Yanks live in real America, those fake Americans to the north and south of us don't qualify. They can be rednecks, but not Yanks.
As someone from the east side of the state, it definitely fits. Friends joke that I live in West Idaho.
Outside of Seattle/Tacoma, very redneck. Get up to the mountains where they make all the meth and the cattle farms are pretty redneck too, but they have stripper coffee shacks nearby.
Stripper coffee is where ladies strip? And there's hot beverages?
Pretty much hit the nail on the head right there. That's exactly what they are.
This is the first time I've heard about these stripper coffee shacks. I want reviews (since I doubt I'll have enough money to ever visit one)
They're pretty cheap if you're in the area, but they are also as trashy as you would expect. My review is... like if you combined a Starbucks and a Hooters with less clothes, put them in a food truck or temporary shack // shed like easy to set up location and most of them have a drive through option if you need coffee and titties on the go. It's not as crazy as it sounds and I'm actually surprised they really aren't a more common thing. I guess one thing that helps is that it is illegal to sell alcohol at a strip club in Washington State so strip clubs were already in the coffee business when the idea was created. It's a little funny because all the strip clubs let you BYOB, you just can't buy or sell it at the club.
They're usually called bikini baristas and its a woman in a bikini or lingerie who makes coffee. Some got busted years back for doing handies.
I have never actually patronized one but there's a few in my area, mostly in gas station parking lots. The operations can be pretty fucking rough.
I always cringe when I see the poor girl throwing on a bathrobe to cart the wastewater across the lot to the gas station slop drain since there's no internal plumbing in her road facing booth.
Yup, I used to live near Seattle and passed a couple on my way to literally anywhere. A lot have a cowgirl theme (one near me was shaped like a boot). I don't know how good their beverages are (never went to one), but they were quite popular, because sex sells.
I never heard about the handies, but it honestly doesn't surprise me. I did hear about massage parlors having happy endings, which is largely the same thing. WA is usually pretty lax about enforcement of stuff like that unless there's a complaint.
So are we talking Christina Ricci in chains or more like Kim Basinger riding Michael Shannon?
You don't even have to go that far, I used to live in a coastal Navy town that had a meth problem. I bought my car from a dealership that got busted 6 months later. KFC was where they sold the meth that was cooked in the Ford dealership across the street. I almost miss Oak Harbor...
Oh yeah, I've been around the country enough to know that anywhere outside of the city is Red, no matter what state you're in, but "Redneck" just has a very specific southern connotation to me.
I lived near Federal Way, and by driving just 15 min, I could go see people riding horses, idiots rolling coal, and trailer trash communities and everything. Just a block or two over from my house, I'd see the stereotypical furniture and appliances littering front lawns. A block or two the other direction was typical was typical PNW neighborhoods with cedar shake roofs nestled into the evergreens. And a few blocks beyond that would be someone with a couple cows on a massive field.
WA is an odd place. I'm in Utah now in a similar community, and there seems to be far fewer "rednecks" in my area. There are some farms, but I guess there just isn't as much "liberal" culture to visibly resist or something. Our actual rednecks live a bit further out, and they're probably more extreme (have some DezNat nonsense here in the sticks). We have more lifted trucks, whereas in WA they'd be older work trucks (they actually have hay to move).
Does it though? Like saying the Germantown school mascot should be the Krauts.
Other Options:
Viziers
Janissaries
Genies
Bombards
Footstools
Istan-Bulls
Harem Girls
Mhmm
Wait, what were we talking about again?
I was about to comment how cool the name Bombards would be, but then I read the Istan-Bulls and sorry but you should be legally obligated to go with that name when it's an option, it's that good.
Better than their previous name: the Constanti-No-Bulls
Why they changed it I can't say
People just liked it better that way
Thats nobodies business but the Turks
Constant Nobles.
And their fans are bull-stans then?
When you want to make it even worse...
People always expect Oregon and Washington to be super liberal but once you leave the city it's a bunch of hicks in the woods (respectfully)
I don't even expect Portland to be super liberal. That city has a long history with the KKK.
They tried to make Oregon a whites only state a long while back. Not even wanting slaves, during 1857 when they applied for Statehood they both banned slavery and any free black people from existing in the state. It was more of a "We don't even want to see them" kind of hatred.
That's some of why East Tennessee and West Virginia sided with the Union in the Civil War, too.
It wasn't uncommon at the time.
East TN, West(ern) VA (West Virginia, the state, was admitted to the Union as a breakaway from Virginia State in 1863), and West NC didn't really benefit from slavery like the rest of their states. There were plenty of independence/Pro-Union movements in that region at the time, like The State of Scott.
Pretty sure I also heard about how the clan and the Catholic Church formed an alliance to keep the Chinese immigrants out. It worked, then they turned on each other. Because of course that's what would happen.
Pretty much the story of every blue state.
Red Country, Blue City is pretty much the case with every state. The most liberal people I've ever met were in Asheville, North Carolina, and I've never been surrounded by more MAGA-loving chuds than when I spent a summer in Redding, California.
Former Asheville punk, turned loose in the hick side of southwest Nova Scotia. I've seen a disturbing amount of MAGA here, enough to rivel my time in North Carolina... But In Canada.
Shit is wild. Everyone here is xenophobic and racist as it gets.
Also former. Did you get gentrified out of the city too? Have you been back since you left? That town is unrecognizable even to how it was just ten years ago.
Isn't this the story of every rural area in every country? Communities that are out in the middle of nowhere won't have had much cultural exchange and tend to become insular.
Yes, if you're more than an hour from Seattle/ half an hour from Spokane you're probably in redneck territory
Can confirm. I grew up about 30 min from Seattle and was on the border of redneck territory. I played high school sports with schools out "in the country" and was able a 15 min drive from some ranches and whatnot.
WA is a very weird place.
I believe it. Even here in California small mountain towns tend to lean heavily conservative
Five minutes out the cities or cross the mountains to the east or go on the peninsula or drive south or north...
Puget Sound has population high density and mostly dominates the politics of the state.
My aunt lives in Sultan and all I can say is: yep.