The captain receives a moment of clarity as he gasps at the merciless cold consuming his body entire, water flooding into his torso as his life gently bubbles from his mouth. “My portfolio is secure” he thinks.
What are people celebrating in June? Juneteenth?
“I never thought that I’d need permission but having it feels so liberating.”
“Someone” is himself. This was posted amidst the proliferation of fake recruiter comeuppances a few years ago. I feel rude pointing it out but I really don’t want someone to replicate this and find themselves doxed by some doofus with way too much time on their hands.
As a fan of non sequiturs, I'm a bit surprised to have never seen this. Thank you for the link!
It was the published number for the business until a series of prank calls and 1600 daily newsletters rendered it unusable. It’s best not to gamble with crazy.
“Now to hand over my phone number with identifying area code to this unstable stranger. This won’t lead to any repercussions.”
No. Unfortunately, I’m all out of Chianti.
Biblically accurate entreaty for coexistence.
You’re right, I got a bit ahead of myself. Allow me to clarify. In general, the wind in Russia moves from east to west, which is a consideration in both air travel and windmill construction. However, helicopters are among the least impacted aircraft due to their free-form movement and large, stable propellers. Takeoff and landing can both occur within a relatively small area even in unfavorable conditions. I hope that answers any lingering questions.
As an expert on equine burials in the pacific, I’d like to weigh in. Ocean burials make up the overwhelming majority of pacific horse funerals, but there have been notable advances in stratospheric inurnment in recent years.
[panel 1: A small, bespectacled man sitting at a table takes a bite of pancake. Their glass is filled with golden liquid, matching the color of the dog staring over the edge of their table. Their eyes lock.]
[panel 2: the dog’s tail shifts into overdrive and its eyes pleadingly grow to the size of saucers.]
[panel 3: the man grins and hoists a pancake above their canine companion. Its eyebrows arch and body quivers.]
[panel 4: the man releases the pancake and it stops with a soft plop atop the dog’s head.]
[panel 5: the dog searchingly turns toward the noise, pancake still resting between its eyes.]
[panel 6: the dog’s brows lift in grief as it turns right, continuing to helplessly investigate the mystery of the missing pancake.]
[panel 1: a cartoonishly drawn child wearing a pink t-shirt and black spandex shorts sits on a grassy hillside, nearly resting their back against the verdant scene. They put their weight on their elbow and pluck a flower from the grass with a smile.]
[panel 2: they lean over the flower and, whilst plucking petals, say “Loves me… Loves me not… Loves me… Loves me not…”
[panel 3: they point at the flower and focus their attention further.]
[panel 4: their finger wags at the petals as they enumerate and whisper “Loves me… Loves me not.]
[panel 5: they sit up and glance about to see if anyone is watching]
[panel 6: they simultaneously tear off two leaves and say “Loves me…”]
[panel 7: the flower shouts at the now sobbing child, “HEY, HEY, HEY. NO CHEATING! YOU ALREADY KNOW YOU’RE NOT LOVED!”]
[panel 1: a large dodo approaches a clean, well dressed vagrant youth sat beside a well fashioned wood and stone building. The youth warily guards a bag holding their belongings and the stick they use to travel with it. The dodo asks “Pardon me, do you have the time?” and the youth replies “yes, it’s -“]
[panel 2: the dodo exclaims “You have the time!”]
[panel 3: a quartet of dodos appear and excitedly chatter over one another: “He has the time.” “The time! he has it!” “At long last! Our desperate search is at an end! The time has been found!”]
[panel 4: they lean in amongst one another and whisper “PSSHHWSSSSPTT SSHSSHHPSSTT”]
[panel 5: the group approaches the youth and asks “Will you… give us the time?” And the youth replies “It’s nine fifteen.” The dodos exclaim “AAAAAHHH! NOW WE HAVE THE TIME!”]
[description: the painting “the creation of Adam,” but Adam is a cat repeatedly, and well deservedly, bapping god’s outstretched arm]
No.250341473
>fantasy setting has magic and flying creatures
>still using horses as main transportation
No.250341651
>>250341473 (OP) #
>setting has nuclear energy
>still using coal as main energy source
No. 16346143
[a photo of a tall, cylindrical white boiler and a short, blue furnace in a brightly lit brick walled basement. A mess of silver pipes extend from and above the pair and a thin puddle encircles them.]
okay /x/, l've got something to share with you
>be me
>last night
>lying on couch, watching some tv show
>shitty weather, raining and cold after 3 weeks of unbearable heat wave
>all of a sudden I hear someone inhale and cough
>shit my pants at that moment since I know that I'm the only one in the house, girlfriend is pulling night shift
>turn down TV, can't hear anything
>shrug it off as sound from TV or my mind playing tricks, it was pretty late
>10 minutes later I hear footsteps
>ohfuckmyfuckinglife.jpg
>now I'm 100% sure that I'm not alone in the house
>jump up, turn on the light and run to the hallway to get my bat
>i grab the bat and start checking rooms
>light from hallway is illuminating parts of kitchen
>notice dirty tracks that lead to the basement
>6 feet away from where I was lying
>ohmyfuckinggod.webm
>slowly open the basement door
>there's no fucking light down there
>go to get a flashlight
>return with flashlight in one hand and a bat in the other
>slowly go down the stairs
>I can hear something rustling in the far corner of the basement
>someone is breathing heavy and digging through stuff
>I stand near the boiler
>peek around the corner and I can see tall figure standing illuminated by the dim light of a street light from small basement window
>scared shitless I turn off the torch in hopes he wont notice me
>he was tall, I'm 6,2 and he was taller than me
>anyway, as I was standing near the boiler I noticed that it was leaking all over the floor
>has anyone had that kind of a problems?
>can I repair it myself or do I need to call a repairman?
>pic related
No. 16346909
>>16346143 (OP)
Spray some flex seal on it
That's not all they do
>Be at home very early one morning, only my brother and I are awake, pitch black outside
>Dogs are out (an idiotic water pointer and a fat beagle)
>Beagle starts baying, pointer starts whimpering
>l open the door for them, they don't move, both looking at one section of the porch, frozen
>step outside, turn on the light, my brother thinks its a burglar, is carrying the fireplace poker
>Opossum hisses
>Beagle bays again, pointer hides behind me
>Brother freaks, swings the poker, hits me in the head
>I go down
>Opossum hisses louder, starts shitting everywhere
>I'm shouting
>My brother's shouting
>Beagle passes out
>Pointer tries to hide behind my prone body
>Opossum waddles back into the woods
>Shit and blood are everywhere
Not even once
Today I am going to tell you what I am most afraid of.... here we go.
>Be me
>Be about a 6/10
>Just move into a new neighborhood and have no friends
>Be outside mowing the lawn when random dog runs up to me
>Look up and a 9/10 is running after it
>Help her get dog back, introduce ourselves
>Become very good friends
>Eventually begin dating
>Fast forward about two months
>New girl moves in
>eh about a 7/10, would boink
>Try to be polite and introduce myself to new girl
>New girl and I start to become friends too, even though she seems a little odd
>Tell her i have a girlfriend, can see she is (literally) insanely jealous
>Fast forward two more weeks
>Start to see less and less of my girlfriend and at the same time new girl starts to become even more of a psycho bitch
>Fast forward 4 days
>Get a random Facebook message from my girlfriend saying that 7/10 threatened to kill my girlfriend if she ever talked to me again
>wtf.jpeg
>Fast forward one more week
>Do not hear or see either girl since that message on facebook, start growing very worried
>Random knock on my door, Its the cops
>Shows me picture of two girls asking if I know them
>Say yes, getting more worried
>Cops tell me that 7/10 committed suicide and remains of my girlfriend showed up in her stomach during the autopsy
TL:DR why was the 6 afraid of the 7? Because 7 ate 9
Yup*, captain’s cadaverific. I can’t recall anything about the rest of the crew.