this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2025
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Unpopular Opinion

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I was reading about Mel Gibson's anti-semitic rants, and his apology about being drunk* when I remembered this meme. I agree with the meme, that our brains tend to feed us what we've heard from our environment, but our conscious mind overrides that with our processed thoughts.

People use "he didn't mean it, he was drunk/high" as an excuse for racist/misogynist/whateverist comments. The response is typically "you don't become racist when drunk, you just drop your inhibitions and reveal who you are."

But if you agree with the First Thought meme, what if being impaired isn't revealing what you really think, but is preventing you from thinking at all, and just getting stuck on your conditioned response?

*Gibson is just an example. This post is not about litigating whether he personally is racist, but about this sort of behavior in general.

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

No, altered states of mind don't stop our own thoughts. In fact, I would argue that a conditioned response is more like an inhibition. As in, I believe getting drunk reduces the likelihood you'll use a conditioned response, not increase it.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago

As an old, professional drunk, I can anecdotally confirm this.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago

An interesting counterpoint, thank you.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I'll disagree. An altered state of mind is altered, by definition, so it's not like people are in their perfect mind. I'm not saying that they should in any way be excused of consequences for their actions, just that an altered state doesn't fully represent who they normally are.

As for conditioned responses, they are learned, yes, but they become an automatic neural response to a stimulus.

We can become aware of these responses, and actively work to inhibit it, but it's an active effort to suppress the ingrained behaviour and when impaired, this suppression would fail.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

I don't know. If you choose the altered state of mind, you ought to be able to accept responsibility for what that entails.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

As far as i know, you can legally be excused of consequences for your actions if you are in an intoxicated state in Romania

[–] _druid 34 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Been reading the last sentence for four minutes straight.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

My VIC-20 is overheating and hopping around on my desk. Now what?!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

WHY CANT I LOOK AWAY

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Why don't you read it for four minutes gay and see if that changes anything?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

Sir Patrick Stewart: But it’s too late. I’ve seen everything.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

But science says the exact opposite is true. A drunk person has lower inhibitions so they express what they think easily. They don’t sugar coat it or try to hide their thoughts. This picture is a feel good thing which might be true in some situations but is generally wrong and is defending bad behaviour.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I think the point is that we are not what we think, we are not our first thoughts.

How we choose to act despite our initial impressions is what defines us, not the thoughts themselves.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

I agree with this. Our actions are more important than our thoughts.

What I am saying is that drunk actions are equal to sober actions. Speaking your thoughts is an action.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

“First Thoughts are the everyday thoughts. Everyone has those. Second Thoughts are the thoughts you think about the way you think. People who enjoy thinking have those. Third Thoughts are thoughts that watch the world and think all by themselves. They’re rare, and often troublesome. Listening to them is part of witchcraft.”

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

“First Thoughts are the everyday thoughts. Everyone has those. Second Thoughts are the thoughts you think about the way you think. People who enjoy thinking have those. Third Thoughts are thoughts that watch the world and think all by themselves. They’re rare, and often troublesome. Listening to them is part of witchcraft.”

The inimitable Sir Terry Pratchett, GNU.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

I miss that man. He was an absolute legend.

[–] southsamurai 2 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's probably more fair to say that it's important to understand WHY you had that thought. Is it conditioning, a past bias against someone else, an unfair stereotype that you are perpetuating, or a lack of understanding?

I have to do this with my anger as sometimes I'm short tempered with someone only to reflect and realize that I'm angry with something else and taking out my frustrations on an undeserving bystander. I try to apologize if I catch myself doing this.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

This is very healthy and emotionally mature of you. We would definitely be doing better as a society if everyone who is capable of doing this would.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago

I like this idea. I don't know how modern cognitive science corroborates the idea or not.

But just to tuck this away in the thread, not to derail it: I think the point of the text in the image is much simpler, as the last response is meant to make us understand. The real "first thought" is "I'm a bad person." After some reflection and careful analysis, the poster comes around to, "I'm just a teensy bit hypocritical."

We can forgive ourselves for knee-jerk reactions if we put effort into not letting them poison our relationships with the world and other people. I have no idea if that should apply to Mel Gibson.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

(Me, drunk)

1st thought: I have to pee

2nd thought: I really have to pee.

3rd thought: I love you guys. Also, I have to pee.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

third thought, on the toilet: oh i have to shit too

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't see the contradiction between the meme and drunk behavior. What it's saying is that you're not responsible for what you think, only how you behave. Mel Gibson is not guilty for having antisemitic thoughts, but he is responsible for expressing them.

There is the issue that only sober people decide to get drunk, the same sober person who reflects on previous drunken behavior. I guess what I'm saying is that getting drunk and impregnating one of your daughters is awful, but no where near as bad as getting drunk and impregnating the other one the next evening.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Mel Gibson is not guilty for having antisemitic thoughts, but he is responsible for expressing them.

Yes, this is where I'm at. I . . . don't know what to make of your second paragraph.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

No one is a bad person for their thoughts, thought crimes do not exist. Your behavior is what matters. Idc if you have “horrible” thoughts all day if you don’t act on them or let them influence how you treat others who cares? Humans don’t have control of our thoughts we need to stop worrying about them being “wrong” what you do is what matters

[–] vaultdweller013 3 points 3 weeks ago

As an autist with probably PTSD I can't reinforce your point enough, between the call of the void and my borderline sociopathic tendencies I'd be killed five times over if folks judged me for my thoughts. If you look at my comments history you will see my sanitized thoughts, my unfiltered ones admittedly aren't that much worse on a cause and effect level just more impulsive and descriptive.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

as a person who’s wife is a very very mean drunk - like physically and emotionally - I just have been conditioned to think “those are the things she really thinks but hides. i am worthless and poor.”

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Sounds like a bad spot to be in. Do you have access to professional help?

My dad was an alcoholic. In rehab he/we where thought that at a certain point the person is no longer themselves but a monster who is stuck in a different kind of alcohol instinct.

Either way physical or emotional abuse is never ok. Don’t try to reason that it’s somehow not abuse and you deserve it. Making someone feel worthless about themselves is a red flag. The fact your wife poisons herself to a predictable negative result says she has not figured out life either.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Do you have a rule in your relationship that she isn't allowed to drink around you to offer you protection from her?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

This is not OK. Regardless of what provokes her, her feelings don't define you and you deserve to be safe.

[–] techwithjake 6 points 3 weeks ago

I've lived this before. You're not alone, even if we can only give digital support.

I hope you have you physical support around you but if ya need someone to talk to, hit me up. More than happy to talk.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I have been in a similar position in the past. We are in a better place now and sober - what came out of my partner at their worst is not reflective of their true feelings, it was reflective of the traumatic environment they were raised in.

I hope things get better for you.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

The ancient Roman/Latin phrase for what OP describes is:

~~En~~ In vino veritas.

In wine, there is truth.

(thanks to antonim for the correction)

The phrase goes back even further to the Ancient Greeks, the exact same meaning in Greek ( en oino, aletheia ), but the Roman/Latin phrase is more well known.

People have known for literal multiple thousands of years that... people do not say stupid shit because they are drunk, the alcohol made them do it... people say stupid shit when they are drunk because they have these stupid thoughts and beliefs all the time, but are normally smart enough to not say them out loud.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

En vino, veritas.

In, not en, and it is written without the comma.

(Finally the two years of suffering through Latin classes have paid off!)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Fuck!

I knew I couldn't count on a classics major to appear out of nowhere and correct me!

=P

jk jk, its appreciated, I'll fix it, lol.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The book I'm reading (Incognito by David Eagleman) mentioned exactly that.

Robinson and Yarvitz, like many others, suspected that the alcohol had loosened Gibson’s inhibitions and revealed his true self. And the nature of their suspicion has a long history: the Greek poet Alcaeus of Mytilene coined a popular phrase En oino álétheia (In wine there is the truth), which was repeated by the Roman Pliny the Elder as In vino veritas. The Babylonian Talmud contains a passage in the same spirit: “In came wine, out went a secret.” It later advises, “In three things is a man revealed: in his wine goblet, in his purse, and in his wrath.” The Roman historian Tacitus claimed that the Germanic peoples always drank alcohol while holding councils to prevent anyone from lying.

But there are many things that people have "known" for years that turned out to be untrue as our ability to understand the physical world increased. Now we're finding that our unconscious mind accounts for more of what we think than our conscious mind can control.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

It is absolutely true that many ancient or even fairly modern bits of 'common wisdom' have been innacurate, or wildly utterly wrong.

... but, at the same time... some of it actually does hold.

I grew up with an alcoholic dad, basically all his brothers and sisters and mom and dad were as well.

They'll all tell you how they really feel when inebriated...

Yay for Italian heritage, rofl, I am a keeper of this ancient wisdom, it courses through my very veins.

... and by that I mean oh lord, I also get drunk very easily, fortunately I've had enough self control to not ever develop an alcohol addiction...

To steal another Greek phrase and render it in Latin:

modus omnibus in rebus

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

The first thought is the conditioning done by life, the second thought is the conditioning done by oneself as we grow to become the person we want to be.

I needed this, thank you.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

As someone who's been (in the distant past) known to engage in questionable behaviour while black out drunk, you still need to be somewhat of an asshole to act like this. So he did mean it, even if he normally doesn't want, and would be ashamed, to act this way.

In my case, being an asshole was influenced by my work environment, so I'm doing a lot better today, both on the asshole and the drinking front.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Glad to hear you're doing better. Thanks for sharing your perspective.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I can sort of agree that someone who has to fight their natural inclinations is a better person in a way, than someone naturally "good" who doesn't question themselves.

But drunk guys I think do show who they are. My ex was a reasonable guy for a long time but when he started drinking it all fell apart. He was mean trailer park dad when he was drunk, racist, sexist, abusive. My husband now, when he drinks too much he is just the dopey "I love you" guy.

So I'd argue that, while I absolutely agree with taking a moment before speaking, part of the point of that exercise is to train your mind to be less of an asshole, so over time you become more thoughtful. Mel Gibson does not get a pass from me, he's old enough to know better.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Thanks for your POV. Your ex sounds just like my friend's ex. I also get silly/Fun with alcohol, it must suck to be an angry drunk.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm not following you. What you think and what you say or do are entirely different, right? We think all kinds of things very quickly about all kinds of topics, and just as a practical measure we can only say or do do a small fraction of those.

So right now I'm not seeing the Mel Gibson connection, because that was a claim about his actions.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

My point is about how we judge people: we should judge their actions. But many of us also judge their thoughts. Many people concluded from that incident that Gibson was inherently racist and that his apology and defense of his own thoughts were meaningless. I know there have been other incidents with him, which is why I just wanted to use that one incident as an example.

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