296
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

with blackjack and hookers

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[-] [email protected] 67 points 1 year ago

You are technically correct. The best kind of correct.

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[-] [email protected] 44 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised

[-] VizualWarrior 42 points 1 year ago
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[-] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago
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[-] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago

To shreds, you say?

[-] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago

She's built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro.

[-] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago

"I don't want to live on this planet anymore!"

I actually have it on a t-shirt. It keeps getting truer every day.

[-] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago

This is technically correct. The best kind of correct.

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[-] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago

I do the Nixon Aroooo on command like a trained seal.

[-] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised

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[-] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago

You are technically correct

Which is the best kind of correct

[-] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago

Oo oo

I'm having one of those things !!!

Like a headache with pictures!!!

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[-] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago

My go-to favourites are "Shut up baby, I know it" & "To shreds you say".

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[-] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago

I’m going to make my own Reddit, with blackjack and hookers!

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[-] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago

Two live full-time in my brain:

  1. "No dogfood for Victor tonight."
  2. "That's a good old-fashioned gun. Simple point-and-click interface."
[-] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago

I'm 40% Futurama references

[-] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago

If I don't survive, tell my wife hello.

[-] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago

Everyone saying "Good news everyone" but the real Dr gem is

"Oh my, yes"

And the variation

"Oh my, no"

I use them weekly

[-] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago
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[-] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

Good news everyone!

[-] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

To shreds, you say‽

[-] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

Kif, I've made it with a woman. Inform the men.

[-] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

To shreds you say?

[-] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

Good news, everyone!

[-] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago
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[-] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

This is the worst kind of discrimination - the kind against me

But existing is basically all I do!

Let me worry about blank

Our boys have taken up stealing - one of the worst and coolest of crimes

Our policy is - if you're unsatisfied for any reason, I hate you

Your music is bad and you should feel bad

Tell them I hate them

Hello, lawsuit

That's it - you just made my list

I apologize for nothing

I propose we make Zoidberg do it

This is not a pet license. It's a fishing license - and it's mandatory!

So god damn many quotes, all of the highest quality.

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[-] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

You are technically correct, the best kind of correct.

[-] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

Interesting.... oh no wait, the other thing: tedious

[-] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

Valentine's Day is coming? Oh crap! I forgot to get a girlfriend again!

[-] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

You can't just have your characters announce how they feel... That makes me feel angry!

[-] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

That just raises further questions!

[-] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"No I'm... doesn't!"

Edit: also "I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness."

[-] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

Technically correct, THE BEST KIND OF CORRECT!

[-] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

you changed the result of the race by measuring it!

Even in contexts where it doesn’t make sense. That was my favorite bit.

[-] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

She's built like a steakhouse but handles like a bistro!

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[-] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.

[-] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

At work: “Good news everyone!” when it is, in fact, not good news at all.

[-] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

No I’m ….doesn’t.

[-] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

All I know is my gut says maybe.

[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
Linearchaos top 10 futurama quotes:

10. Not even if we rub the engine with cheetah blood?
9. It's like a party in my mouth and everyone's throwing up.
8. Did everything just taste purple?
7. kill all humans
6. what?! My mother was a saint!
5. hey sexy mama, wanna kill all humans?
4. Let me show you some of the different lengths of wire I used.
3. I was going to eat that mummy
2. now that's walkin' around money
1. Antiquing (boom)`___`
[-] xylene 18 points 1 year ago

She's built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro!

...come to think of it, I quote Zap an awful lot.

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[-] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Cliche but I'm gonna make my own "insert thing" with hookers and blackjack. And I always use "stuff and junk" from Amy and Fry

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

Nature is cruel and teaches us nothing!

Don't date robots!

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

What do I look like, guy who's not lazy?

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[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

At my work we have something called a scentometer, which is used for gauging how strong an odor is. You bet your ass I call it a smell-o-scope!

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

I sometimes say 'why not zoidberg?' but usually do it for at least 1 raisin

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

We take out that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards! Checkmate

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

Morbo is pleased, but sticky.

Why is my Fry fro all frizzy?

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[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

I'm 40% (insert thing)

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this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2023
296 points (98.1% liked)

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