this post was submitted on 21 May 2025
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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

That's a short conversation for me:

Anything medium/large-dog size and larger, no.

Below that it can certainly depend (like a venomous snake? We'll both lose. Eagle? Honestly no fucking clue. If I got a hit in, it would be done, but I'm not sure I'd get a strike in).

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What is the horse going to do with prep time? What am I missing? This seems crucial.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He could have someone put some armor on, I imagine.

[–] Corkyskog 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Now my scenario of shooting the horse while standing outside of its pen seems not as unfair. Guess I have to go with the mortar idea someone else suggested.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Every fucking time this is posted. Goddamit, OP, they'll be at this shit for hours like crows with a diamond ring.

[–] CtrlAltDefeat 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

Think I can beat that one

[–] FreshLight 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Is it okay to use the surroundings? Humans are good with this. Also with improvising tools. It's kind of our thing. (If we take this away, we'll be way worse but I would get it.) The problem with that is that it's super hard to measure. I could take on a horse in a jungle, I think, but not in the Eurasian Steppe.

It also depends on the age and character of the animal. I was able to grab a swan by its neck and throw it away because it was barely an adult. I bet it would have been a lot harder if it was a year older and even more aggressive. (This was in self defence of course)

Another thing to consider is the premise. Do I choose an animal and the animal is not aware of the danger? Is it aggressive towards me in the normal range of its species? Does the animal try to kill me with all of its power?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

If I hear of people grabbing animals by the neck and throwing them away I’d normally be concerned but if you tell me it was a Swan or a Goose I’m like yeah makes sense, they probably deserve it the aggressive little pricks.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (4 children)

A single rear leg kick from a horse can easily break your skull apart, snap your neck or spine, cave in your entire chest, snap your femur, shatter your hip.

One good connecting hit and basically 99% of people are dead, paralyzed for life, or at best, extremely seriously injured and needing immediate hospitalization.

An unarmed human is not going to win an aggro'd fight with a horse in some kind of cage match scenario, unless its very young, very old, or quite sick or already injured.

Horses can be very dumb though: In a more real world scenario, you may be able to spook them into breaking their own legs on uneven ground, or even just running off of a goddamned cliff or into a tree or some other obstacle.

Alternatively: Spend the hour of prep time getting horse feed and poison.

Don't fight it, befriend it, and then betray that trust.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

An unarmed human is not going to win an aggro'd fight with a horse

Do I get prep time?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

After review by the panel of judges, their response is:

'Neigh!'

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Nowhere in the rules says it has to be a fair fight. What if I just shoot the horse from outside of its pen?

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[–] [email protected] 58 points 2 days ago (4 children)

There's no way a single dude is dropping a horse with their bare hands.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Just wait it out. Domestic horses are good at dropping themselves.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

How many dudes do you think it would take?

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I say it takes at least 5 average humans to put a horse in the ground without weapons. And if the horse is also fighting to the death you're losing a couple people for sure.

Source: my entire ass

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 days ago

Source: my entire ass

OP is talking about horses, not donkeys. Also, I hope your donkey wasn't harmed in the process of getting this information.

[–] peteypete420 10 points 2 days ago

Ill need a pic of the source for reference.

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[–] southsamurai 42 points 2 days ago (14 children)

Animals I have beaten in a fight:

Feral dogs.

Feral dogs likely mixed with eastern coyote. I cheated though, I shot them.


Animals that have beaten me in a fight:

Geese.

A catfish (in my defense, it was massive and the fight was in the water. On land I would have won)

Humans.


Animals I have run from rather than fight:

Hornets.

Bears. Black bear, we startled each other, then I left a trickle down my leg while I ran.

A big pack of dogs. Wasn't armed, and saw them coming.


My record is not exactly impressive

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I mean it’s better than something truly shit like “I once accidentally stepped on a hamster”.

[–] sbv 5 points 1 day ago

It was no accident.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Then no... Hahajah

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago (19 children)

My rule is anything smaller than my knees is gettin it's ass kicked. I've got strong legs and decent form while kicking, and so far haven't found a creature that size I couldn't fend off with a good hit. So far that's mostly meant wild dogs and a goose.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago (3 children)

What's the girl equivalent of this? I'd like to have some conversations with my wife that don't send her off on list-making/plan-making expeditions or remind her of something she wanted to research on the internet.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"What do you want to eat tonight?"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

"Which one of your friends could you take in a fight?"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

Try the same question. Maybe just a slightly smaller horse. Prep-time negotiable.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Let's say it was reasonable to 1v1 a horse.

I wanna know what a lone horse does to prepare for a fight, that turns the tables from winning to losing...

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (3 children)

he better be riding the horse over a rocky steep incline and not actually trying to fight it. why do they go for big animals? I can take a cat. maybe. most birds native to North America.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

A cat can be nasty. If it goes straight for your eyes with its sharp claws you are fucked… If you manage to kick it properly first, then it's fucked. I think the outcome of the fight can really be black or white.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Just the one hour?

I mean, just to cover the invertebrates part of the list would be several hours.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (4 children)

What's a horse going to do with prep time? Grow opposable thumbs and learn how to use tools?

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago (2 children)
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