this post was submitted on 08 Jan 2025
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NonCredibleDefense

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MODERATORS
 

Ladies and gentlemen, it is with a heavy but utterly amused heart that I share this breaking news: about two weeks ago, masked assailants stormed our top-secret HQ and dragged our beloved mod, verity_kindle, off to one of those “pray the plane away” camps. Apparently, their drugs must be top-notch, because she’s now claiming she’s no longer aerosexual! Yes, folks, she’s turned in her mod card to pursue a life of toilet-training pets, daily bathing, and other hippie crap. What a betrayal.

In light of this travesty, we’re honoring her request for a proper send-off: a full-blown Roast. She swears nothing is off-limits—so don’t hold back. After all, she broke the SACRED MOD OATH™, and there must be consequences!

For those who don’t know, verity_kindle was here from day one. When we bailed out on Reddit en masse, she stepped up and helped turn this place into a true home—while juggling her own battles with cancer, no less. (Sadly for us, my assassins still haven’t succeeded in finishing her off. She’s annoyingly resilient like that.)

But hey, she’s not dead yet, so we’ll all have the pleasure of seeing her around now and then—even if she’s gone full hippie and refuses to get high off jet fuel with us anymore. So take advantage of this moment and roast her mercilessly. She deserves it for forsaking the planes!

All jokes aside, we really do love you, verity_kindle, and we’re thankful for everything you’ve done. Now let’s bring the heat, people—after all, she asked for it!

top 25 comments
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[–] imaqtpie 6 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Verity Kindle sounds like the Mary Sue heroine of a trashy romance novel set in the Antebellum South. She ends up in a love triangle with the handsome young slave boy and the dashing plantation owner's son, but can she teach them the meaning of love before it's too late? Good grief, what a load of shite.

[–] verity_kindle 2 points 5 hours ago

Literary, but I've heard more caustic insults at my niece's bleedin Barbie party

[–] DudeImMacGyver 27 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Fuck cancer!

Also, does she have some sort of sexual dysfunction? That seems like the most plausible explanation of no longer finding aircraft attractive.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea 10 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Maybe she's into tanks now? I certainly disagree, but can't fault her if she's an Abrams girl. Tanks do like to take a bath now an again...

[–] DudeImMacGyver 3 points 12 hours ago

I'm not one to judge.

[–] nuke 30 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Talk about giving up the easiest job ever. I mean how hard can it be to mod NCD? All we do is just ban people we don't like and roll a D12 for the reason.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I am a Lemmy mod and can confirm this is 100% true. Every Lemmy mod does this, the function is built right into the mod options right under the "Evil Mod Power" option.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

📸

Time to post this to a ban whining sub for that sweet and fungible karma.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago (3 children)

No longer aerosexual? But how can anyone not be turned on by fighter jet porn?

[–] verity_kindle 8 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

You haven't had your third break up with one on SKYPE.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] verity_kindle 2 points 5 hours ago

Imagine setting up a secret wifi at Tinker, just for that.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I imagine that what's going on here is focusing specifically on fringe areas, like tiltrotors or rotor kites or something, rather than on all aircraft.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea 2 points 18 hours ago

I could respect ornithopters like the Riout 102T Alérion.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (1 children)

Jets don't have feet and armpits, obviously. This clearly explains why verity is no longer aerosexual.

[–] verity_kindle 2 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Shaved or unshaved? Ladies always shave their pits, but that doesn't mean we can't get weird with other aesthetics

[–] [email protected] 5 points 21 hours ago

Ladies always shave their pits

My guy has never seen Gabriele Susan Kerner's live performance of 99 Luftballons.

[–] neidu3 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Verity_kindle, you keep blaming others for the car accident, but we all know you're the type of driver who'd be better off with a cope cage on your car.

[–] verity_kindle 7 points 21 hours ago

DAYUM, dyin here ...Should we offer a small prize for the most savage insult? Not that neidu3 would win it. Too many alts to be trusted, he's lost his EDGE

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What? I just saw her discussing her homemade apple jet fuel in [email protected]

[–] verity_kindle 5 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

That's doxxing, probably, fuck u! you can be more roasty and savage than that, Pyrenees Biker Boy

[–] [email protected] 5 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Sorry but if someone compared my brews with jet fuel I would be pretty upset. It is probably by far the worst insult to homebrewer.

[–] verity_kindle 4 points 5 hours ago

Pssh, fusel oil is a style.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

Not really a roast, but thanks for all the work, verity_kindle!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

She has now entered the "wants to settle down and have kids" phase.

I haven't been here long verity, but it has been an honor o7