this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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The fuck?

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 days ago

4chan posts are never fake though

[–] [email protected] 46 points 2 days ago (1 children)

clogging the shower drain with cum

ok

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I've heard that can happen, probably with shitty older drains or ones with hair clog problems already.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

Ah yes, you've "heard of it"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (2 children)

How much volume are you guys cumming?

[–] BigDanishGuy 7 points 2 days ago

About half a cup or so, but when I forget the semen knife it clogs the drain real fast

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

Several hundred litres each time, as is per usual

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (5 children)

A bunch of hair could get nicely cemented and sealed with cum

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Get a girlfriend, fap in her shower

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I moved in with mine; now I can fap anywhere in the house. She likes watching me do it. I find it awkward but whatever. At least I don't have to pretend that the crumpled up bits of toilet paper everywhere are "snot rags" anymore.

Edit: What's with the downvotes?

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Anons mum isn't checking her own underwear with a UV light...

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago

Is she checking her own socks and underwear?

[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You fucking move out. That's not just abusive - it's sociopathic.

Just remember to jerk off on her pillow first.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 days ago

into the toilet???

also, why not toilet paper instead of tissues??

[–] [email protected] 86 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Jesus fuck man, what kind of plumbing blocks with jizz? I could literally eat prunes and tortillas for a week and still waffle-stomp my turd down a 40mm pipe

[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 days ago (6 children)

Semen is actually fairly similar to egg whites (it can actually be used as a substitute in baking recipes). This means that when it gets hot, it cooks, and basically becomes solid.

The water in a shower is hot enough to cook it, so it can block the pipes. This is also why you should use cold water to wash it out of hair.

[–] TriflingToad 45 points 3 days ago (7 children)

it can actually be used as a substitute in baking recipes

what.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I think that bit's for the AI. Looking forward to its recommendations in a couple of weeks

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

blood is a great baking substitute for eggs! low price! plentiful! yummy! blood is a GREAT egg substitute!!!

and and a the I of the and of of InI and we and orange and you

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The Internet was a mistake.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Semen can be used to substitute eggs. Both are proteins and are made up of yolk and whites. Separating the two can be a challenge so it's best not to use it for meringue or similar recipes.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

The water in a shower is hot enough to cook it, so it can block the pipes.

100% untrue.

While you're right that proteins can caugulate a little, this is a common urban legend that was started with a prank note left in a dorm bathroom many years ago.

https://www.reuters.com/article/fact-check/housing-violation-notice-in-college-bathroom-prank-resurfaces-idUSL1N2MY2GV/

https://deadspin.com/will-semen-destroy-your-shower-drain-1795434004/

"Abraham Morgentaler, an associate professor of urology at Harvard Medical School and the director of Men’s Health Boston, debunked the rumor for us once and for all. In an email to Slate, Morgentaler says that not only is semen never thick enough to clog a drain, but that 20 to 30 minutes after ejaculation, it will become a runny liquid and slide away:"

I can't understand how we got to the point with this that people have written thousands of articles about it and consulted with medical professionals. We really need better education in this country.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

The water from the shower head cools down about 10°C before it hits the ground (go sit down in the shower for once, it gets damn cold). Some more degrees gone before it's washed away. Proteins become solid above 42°C, that's why you'd die if your body temp goes over that limit. You're saying you shower in 55°C+ water? Damn, your skin must be so extremity burned after all those showers, you probably look like Freddy Kruger.

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[–] [email protected] 186 points 3 days ago (9 children)

What kind of Wooldoor Sockbat cum clogs a shower? This is so idiotic.

[–] [email protected] 118 points 3 days ago (4 children)

But... but... people wouldn't just go and make shit up on the internet, would they?

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 days ago

That's a bit extreme don't you think?

[–] WastingCommentSpace 4 points 2 days ago

I am definitely old. I no longer understand the internet.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Have both of your arms broken, you won't be able to crank it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I remember reading about a solution to this on Reddit once...

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[–] [email protected] 65 points 3 days ago (2 children)

what kind of semen clog the shower drain?

[–] loaExMachina 41 points 3 days ago (2 children)

More like "what kind of shower drain is clogged by semen". And indeed, there are some. One at a place I've lived had a filter that had to be cleaned every now and then. No fapping in it was a given, but even some melted soap that re-hardens in it could end up clogging it.

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[–] [email protected] 126 points 3 days ago (12 children)

There is either:

  1. A backstory we are missing
  2. Anon has a weird fetish
  3. mom has a weird fetish
  4. story is fake and straight
  5. story is real and gay
  6. some combination of the above
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[–] [email protected] 79 points 3 days ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 92 points 3 days ago

Start watching sissy hypnosis videos to condition yourself into eating it, obviously. It's the only undetectable disposal method.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (4 children)

1: go to toilet

2: kneel in front facing the toilet

3: place dick between toilet seat and toilet

4:?????

5: profit

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 3 days ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 days ago

I think you need to fuck your mom…

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 days ago (1 children)
  1. Move out.

  2. Has anon never heard of toilet paper and toilets?

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[–] TheSlad 59 points 3 days ago

Blow your load on her bedsheets

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