!dull_[email protected]
this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2024
409 points (97.9% liked)
Not The Onion
12416 readers
1372 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Now this is the kind of hard-hitting journalism I'm here for
You can't tell me this isn't the exact way you'd expect this guy to look. He said he's gonna use his 2 quid settlement for more mars bars. I'm comforted.
Excellent choice. I would.
the Dull Men’s Club Facebook page
They only paid him because it would be exciting and ruin his reputation as a dull man.
Great. When did Mars go woke?
Tucker Carlson demands the return of the throbbing dick vein to the demasculated Mars bar.
I used to send a complaint for faulty products to companies in my late teens/early 20's as I was low on money. Like once I got some energy drink in a bottle made for Pepsi. Same volume, no difference, but a mistake, so got 5€ for it so "won" like 3€ for that. I'd pick out products like that if I saw them in a shop for that very purpose.
Once I genuinely was annoyed though, as a soft drink company that filled the vending machine at our school had filled it wrong and I got what was essentially Fanta he I wanted an energy drink and it was fucking hard waking up that morning.
“Dear Mars, I was unable to enjoy my recently purchased Mars Bar as it was missing the trademark thick veins running down its shaft.”
"Dear BBC, thanks for the illustrated article on our product. Our advertising and PR manager says it's the best £2 we've spent all year'
It certainly does feel like they are pushing their confectionary product down our throats.
Edit: grammar
Are you thanking the Big Black...Candybar or the British Broadcasting Corporation?
Yes
load more comments
(2 replies)
"Dull Men's Club" must be code for Mad Lads
Great. Now that Mars buckled, everyone will be suing over their smooth candies. They may have made this case go away, but they'll soon be out tens, maybe even hundreds of pounds.
Yup. Obviously a smooth brained idea
Fun fact: the Mars bar is marketed as a Milky Way in the U.S. There was a Mars bar in the U.S., but it had almonds. It has since been rebranded as Snickers Almond.
TIL. I dislike Milky Ways, they're incomplete substandard Snickers. 3 Musketeers are even worse; nougat is the worst part of the Snickers. In a Halloween haul, I'd always rather eat a roll of Smarties or a packet of two Spree than a Milky Way or 3 Musketeers, and that's the equivalent of saying I'd rather eat a piece of chalk.
FYI: Tums is chalk. :)
So what's a milky way advertised as?
I’m not from the US, but I think it’s 3 Musketeers:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/3_Musketeers_(chocolate_bar)
American here; you're spot on. The US/Mexico version of the Milky Way bar has a layer of caramel in addition to the nougat, and 3 Musketeers is essentially the global version of Milky Way. Our bars may be also bigger in size.
load more comments
(1 replies)
The Milky Way and the Mars bar were both created by the same person. And the Milky Way was created about 12 years earlier in Chicago. Forrest Mars went off to start his own Mars candy division in the UK after a fight with his dad.
I had a client that had a Mars heir as a client, and knew they were based in the DMV. I was curious how an American candy company with a candy bar named after the family ended up being created in the UK.
How did they get an office in the department of motor vehicles
They didn't, they're just in the Delaware/Maryland/Virginia area.
DMV stands for D.C./Maryland/Virginia in that context and refers to the D.C. metropolitan area.
What you're thinking of is the Eastern Shore peninsula, which is called Delmarva and is made up of parts of those three states.
How is a Mars bar a fuckin quid now?!?
How is a Mars bar a fuckin quid now?!?
You think that's nuts.
It's 9 quid for two ass creams with the chewing gums innit.
£9 for two ass creamings, chewing gum or no, is a bargain
As an uncultured American, I honestly don't know how else to read that comment.
load more comments
(19 replies)
A mars bar with no dick vein. Welp at leat the bloke got 2 pound(ing)s compensation.
He could have asked them for 100 to send the factory code.
Ironic that BBC reported it.
view more: next ›