this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2024
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I have thought about this on and off for quite a few years now, and I was just wondering what people here have done while maintaining account / device security.

I hope people don't mind this rather morbid conversation, but how have people here planned for what will happen with their accounts, computers, self hosted things etc. in the event of their deaths? I am particularly interested in what people have planned for if they are the person in their household who is self hosting things for the household. I'm not in a living situation that allows me to self host much but it is one of the questions I've had for myself when I decide to move in with my significant other and self host more things. I don't think they could manage much of the self hosted stuff and I also don't think they can remember all of the credentials for accounts etc., is the best way of going about it sharing a keepass database or bitwarden account with them?

In regards to my accounts, I am not expecting most of my accounts to transfer, if anything I'd much rather them be deleted (and I have enabled this feature where possible). There are a few however, that I wouldn't mind leaving to someone after my passing. Is there a privacy and security preserving way of setting this up?

I guess I have just been struggling with how to do this, ideally I would want a way for accounts to transfer to someone listed in my will, but I don't think it's a good idea to give ~2-3 people a copy of my keepass databse while I am still living.

I am looking forward to hearing what people's thoughts are on this matter, and I apologize again for such a morbid topic.

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I know that’s supposed to be a jokey edgy comment but advanced planning is really important for those you leave behind. They will absolutely appreciate it if you have done the basics of estate planning (will, advance directives, digital account planning) so that it’s not one more burden during one of their most difficult time in life.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (4 children)

I know you mean well but I'm honestly serious. I don't have a house, debt or money. The most expensive thing I own is a store-bought bicycle.

We're lower class people. My grandpa was dumped in the ocean and my grandma is in an unmarked grave. I haven't seen my dad in a decade and I have no siblings. I won't care because there's nothing to care about.

e: This sounds way more depressing than I meant for it. Don't take it like that, I'm happy. It's just the reality that I'm not leaving anything of note behind for anybody to take.

[–] Iamsqueegee 20 points 5 months ago

Dibs on the bike!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Nah, it wasn't depressing. The privileged middle class are completely clueless about life outside of their bubble, so good on you for sharing your truth.

[–] iAmTheTot 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Your bike is more expensive than whatever device you're using to tell us about it?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You can buy good phones for $200 these days. They are way more affordable than good bikes.

[–] Scubus 2 points 5 months ago

I'm paying this comment from a 20$ Walmart phone

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

It's a very nice store-bought bicycle

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Even if you don't have anything material to leave behind, there are still a few questions that it's good to have the answers written down for, mostly advanced directives. You can find free AD forms if you live in the US at https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/financial-legal/free-printable-advance-directives/ and most other countries have a similar system.

[–] lurch 21 points 5 months ago (2 children)

... and their legacy was 40 gigs of feet pics and furry porn 🤣

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago

I'm appalled, honestly insulted!

I have way more than 40 gigs

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

Damn I'd be ashamed of that. 40 gigs is rookie numbers. If you're not measuring your porn stash with TBs then you're doing it wrong.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Bitwarden shared vault. There's also a feature where you can designate someone to gain access to your vault via a dead man's switch.

[–] Whooping_Seal 5 points 5 months ago (3 children)

You and someone else have mentioned the deadman switch, does the other person need an account or can credentials be made for them? I haven't used bitwarden in a while (since I migrated to gopass and then to keepass), so I'm guessing this is a new feature.

That is a very fascinating feature and I think I'll look into it!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

It's been awhile since I set it up so I don't fully remember, I think they need their own bitwarden account. Here's the documentation on the feature: https://bitwarden.com/help/emergency-access/

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Looks like they need an account, and it's a paid feature.

Only premium users, including members of paid organizations (Families, Teams, or Enterprise) can designate trusted emergency contacts, however anyone with a Bitwarden account can be designated as a trusted emergency contact.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

I use a Deadman switch I wrote myself. I have an encrypted vault that contains information that my wife/children may need to gain access to our health benefits, my life insurance policy info, my PII (code to my personal firesafe containing my SSN, birth cert, etc etc.), my bank account info, steps to file for debt forgiveness on my CCs (I pay a small amount per 100 dollars on my CCs that will wipe them if a supported life/death event happens), college tuition savings accounts for my kids and more.

Basically my goal is to make sure that my family has access to all of our assets and money since I manage our finances, and they have enough Info to change any accounts over to their email and info. I haven't told them yet but I have been stashing money as well (both in physical cash and a max contribution Roth IRA). If I ever die, I try and keep enough money in cash that no one knows about that will pay for all of their living expenses for a minimum 1 year. Since I do all of the budgeting, I can account for this before the spendable money is made aware to everyone. They would probably hate me now since we run pretty tight on money, but if I ever die I think they'll forgive me.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

My wife has access to my password database. If I go before her, she's in charge of going through all my accounts and shutting stuff down.

My father actually just passed away a few months ago. I had convinced him to use unique passwords for everything, but he couldn't keep track of them all, so he just wrote them all down on a piece of paper that he kept on his computer desk. When he passed, my sister took a photo of his password sheet and we both have been going through his stuff, closing accounts, transferring money, notifying his social media accounts of his passing, etc.

For the record, my dad had a Trust set up, with my sister as the executor of the Trust, so we've already talked about money stuff (even with my dad while he was still alive) and we're both in agreement. And we're both decent people, so there's no complications with dividing his estate or anything. My sister is in charge of all his finances, and she's been very straightforward with me about what he had and how it's being divided up.

EDIT: If my wife goes before me, I would probably give my sister access to my password database. She and I are pretty close, and I'd trust her with that access.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago

The intent is for access to my data to die with me. I rather not have people sort though my private shit once I'm dead. I may pass off a few logins and decide an heir to my Steam account if I know it's coming.

I'd encrypt my drives if I wasn't so damn worried about locking my self out. I don't think an unsuspecting mourner could survive that much hentai.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

In my filing cabinet that contains my will and other emergency documents I have a printout of the emergency backup codes for my password manager and my google account. That should be enough for my heirs to get whatever they need and want.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Isn't Google forcing your accounts to be linked to a safe device nowadays (which in turn is probably linked to biometry or other identity proof). I say this because recently I changed smartphone after 6 years, and it was hell to even connect to my gmail for some accounts that I had not added as phone account to the previous device. Since they didn't have a phone number attached to them, even if I knew the passwords as well as the security question answer, I still could not retrieve 2 out of 5. I am moving away from Google for many reasons, but this one pissed me off

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Nope. They do require some form of 2FA, but that can be any of: phone number, security key, authentication app, or a secure device. They also support one time use backup codes that you print out and keep secure. Personally, I use security keys for day to day and keep the printed out backup codes with my will.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

I have a Next Of Kin (NOK) box. Everything anyone needs to know is in it, plus instructions to hire someone in a grim reaper costume to stand in the back and pretend to look for someone in attendance.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I use Bitwarden with a handful of family members. You can share vault entries. I've shared the ones that are important (utilities, services) but not the ones that are critical (financials, security). The access to the critical stuff is encrypted and on 3 pieces of cold storage, that gets verified/validated every year. Family knows how to access it.

EDIT: I forgot to mention, for the critical items they also need my yubikey to gain access. So they can't just remotely drain my accounts, they'd need to over my dead body.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Deviant has a good talk about this kind of thing (including some other situations to think about) in "A Talk About Risk & Preparedness" - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6ihrGNGesfI

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

https://m.piped.video/watch?v=6ihrGNGesfI

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This is exactly the same question I asked 3 years ago when my brother died, and left all his tech stuff to his non-tech wife and kids.

Fortunately I was able to migrate whatever was important to cloud-based services.

But what will happen if this happens to me? I have no other siblings, and I made it a habit not consorting with techies: I don’t like nerds 😉, and I prefer to talk about other subjects in my spare time.

One of the reasons I used to self host a lot is privacy, and because I am an Open Source advocate. So I migrated everything important to commercial offerings which supported both, or at least the Privacy part.

I share a passwords through a password manager with my wife and kids, which gives them the keys to the kingdom. They can use my master password to unlock the doors. I also keep a paper with my most important passwords in a place my wife knows about, and can access without any proof of my death. Joint safes in the bank typically get sealed until the tax people have released the accounts.

Everything which I host myself now is disposable, and my wife knows she can turn it off without a second thought.

[–] Whooping_Seal 2 points 5 months ago

I've debated on using a bank safe but I'm still unsure about the regulations in my country regarding them. Notably what can law enforcement do without a warrant etc etc.

In terms of self hosting I think that'll likely be the route I go as well, where family can just "shut it down" upon my death. I'm sure my partner might want to keep a few things (e.g. my kodi setup) but the things they would want to keep aren't too difficult I feel.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

I'm just gonna let them rot adding to the dead internet. Perhaps someone will come across this comment 100 years after my death perhaps not. When I'm dead what do i care.

[–] akilou 3 points 5 months ago

I typed up directions to my wife about how to access all of my accounts. I left blanks like _______ and used a pencil to write in all of the important information like what 2FA app to use and passwords to some key stuff.

[–] ironhydroxide 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Self hosted vaultwarden with the Deadman setup.

[–] Whooping_Seal 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

What exactly is the deadman setup? I did a quick search and found someone asking for a feature from last pass. Is this what you're referring to?

[–] ironhydroxide 4 points 5 months ago

https://bitwarden.com/help/emergency-access/

I call it Deadman, but also needs activated by external means. So not quite fully Deadman.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

I have no accounts that anyone would like to access. Bank accounts and anything important a will would handle.