this post was submitted on 27 May 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] [email protected] 64 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Instructions unclear, ate the puppy.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I think we're supposed to name you now?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago

I suggest "Rover Cloxworth Van Puppyeater"

[–] [email protected] 62 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (5 children)

Cum.

I had to jerk off before posting just to make this comment true.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 6 months ago

Thank you for your snackrifice.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago

All goon things must come to an end. 😌

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)

What was I supposed to do? Lie? I am a good boy, sir. 😤

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

I respect your commitment to telling the truth!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Did you aim it towards your face?

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Taquito

Fits pretty well if you ask me...

[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 months ago

Cheese Stick ain't a terrible name tho

[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

As long as it's non-toxic.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (2 children)

My left leg.

(If somebody could come get me off this desert island that’d be great)

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

please be referring to dick

[–] wander1236 9 points 6 months ago

Totino's Pizza Rolls

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

Such a cute ham sandwich 🥹

[–] ted 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

Fuck I want a banh mi

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Kefir

Technically I drank it but it was thick so it was my meal

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Same! Fits him like a glove too.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Sushi. Almost seems kind of fitting.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Tripple Choco Cookie.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

It was back last August, so... does Ensure count?

Also, I knew a guy who had a little yippy dog named Mr. President. Best dog name ever.

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[–] Kecessa 6 points 6 months ago

Croquette and I think it's a great name

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

A black man's ass

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Wasabi Pea no peeing inside!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Chewy (type of compliments granola bar)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Bosco stick, I guess "Bosco" isn't a bad name for a pup.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Knuckle sandwich 😞

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Pot roast, think it fits pretty well

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Phat bitch dip: 2 blocks cream cheese 3 cans of shredded chicken drained 5 diced jalapeños Siracha to taste Shredded cheddar

Microwave cream cheese till soft. Mix in chicken, jalapeños, and Siracha. Put in a casserole dish and top with shredded cheese. Bake @ 350f for 10 minutes or until cheese is melted

Edit: Phat is 80s slang for 'Pretty hot and tempting'

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

My girlfriends ass?

[–] copymyjalopy 4 points 6 months ago

sigh...pussy

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Cimmanim Roll!

[–] hudson 4 points 6 months ago
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