The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/BoneYardBirdy on 2025-04-08 22:39:36.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/JTBlakeinNYC on 2025-04-08 21:22:22.

Throw away account . Please be patient with me. I ( F,35) met my now husband (m,48) 12 years ago. He was married and his wife had terminal cancer. He was honest with me . I know it was a rotten thing and I wish we didn’t meet this way.

Eventually his wife found out but she decided to just don’t bother . He said when he was coming to see me , she just pretended he was working long hours ( and that’s what she told everyone at the time ). After his wife’s death , we started dating openly and eventually got married. He had a 2 year old when his wife died. I raised her as if she was my own daughter. She called me mom.

She found her mom’s diary in the boxes that are in the basement. She found out the origin of our relationship. She now hates me, her dad and her 4 half siblings. She now says that her mom died of broken heart. I apologized to her and told her I paid my due when I raised her like my own. She doesn’t wanna talk to me or her dad. She not only is staying at her grandparents now, she has told everyone in the family awful things about us based on the stuff her mom wrote.

AITAH to expect her to move on ? Her mom was terminal and I raised her

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/GamerGirlLex77 on 2025-04-08 16:44:26.

I am NOT the OOP. OOP is u/Even-Breath9368 on r/AITAH.

TW: parentification and emotional/verbal abuse

Status: Concluded as per OOP.

Original: July 18, 2024

Update: August 9, 2024 (22 days later)

AITA for moving out after my mom announced her pregnancy?

I'm 22F, my mom is 37, and I have 3 younger siblings F14, F7 and M4. Me and the 2nd oldest have different dads from each other and the other 2. They and this upcoming baby all have the same dad, our stepdad. I'm sorry if that was confusing. There are 3 dads in total but only our stepdad is involved now.

I was the babysitter and "mom" growing up. When my sister was born I magically became mom despite not even being double digits. When the others came I still was mom. I didn't get to have fun, go out, or be a kid. My job in the house was to cook, clean, raise my siblings and deal with our mom. She was incredibly immature growing up and loved to drink, party, spend money on luxuries and not be a mom. She acts more like a mom now but a lot of the work still falls on me. She robbed my of my childhood and I'm very bitter about it. The only reason I lived at home for so long was because no one would/could take me in and I felt that I could tolerate it all for free rent and food. It was a good deal for me then, but I'm 22 now. I'm done being a mom when I don't even have kids.

Last year my stepdad's parents died in a car accident and as their only child he got everything. We all moved into their home and got a bit of money under our belts so I guess they decided to have a baby. When my mom announced it I asked if she was serious. She confirmed and asked me if I still had my diaper changing skills as a joke. I was silently livid. I dryly laughed and found some roommates online that night. The thought of wasting another 10+ years raising my siblings sounded like Hell.

She found out that I'm planning on leaving come August and now she's irate calling me every name under the sun and selfish. She got my siblings involved and the youngest is crying asking why I don't love them anymore and why I'm leaving. It's really low to use kids like that and it hurts. I don't want to stay but I don't want them to cry. I know I'm doing the right thing for myself but is it the right thing for them? My mom never really parented growing up. She wouldn't, so I took over that role. I was the one who changed diapers and taught them their ABCs and all that. I was the one who cooked dinner and bathed them. I look at none of my siblings as siblings but as my own kids because that's what they basically are. I don't think she'll be able to do a good job. She and my stepdad rely on me heavily in that category.

AITA for leaving? I need advice on how to get over this feeling and move on.

Edit: holy shit this kind of blew up when I wasn't expecting it to. Thanks everyone for the kind messages. You all are right, I need to go. My mom and stepdad need to figure it out. I'm going to talk to all 3 of my siblings and explain that me leaving is normal and a good thing. I'll always be a phone call away. I'm most worried about my 14yo sister though and will not hesitate to get authorities involved if I suspect she's going through what I went through or she tells me herself. I'll be giving her a different type of talk soon to try and prevent her from becoming the new mom.

Thanks everyone :) If I update again it'll be after I've already moved out. I really appreciate your guys' support. It's giving me the strength to do what's right even if it's hurting. My mom and stepdad can hire a babysitter with his inheritance if they really can't do it.

Relevant Comments (and OOP's response to them):

Angstycarroteater: No leave now… it’s getting way manipulative and your mom seems like the queen of making poor choices as it is. Like Jesus. Run for you life remain in contact with your siblings but it’s not your obligation to be a mother to your moms kids.

Edit: You need to point out it’s time for her to grow the fuck up and be a parent that by the sound of it you never had.

OOP: I agree with her being the queen of bad decisions. When I was born I could excuse it because she was so young and needed guidance. My grandparents (her parents) were permissive and let her do whatever she wanted with little to no consequences. It was really fun when I was a kid kid because, well, no rules. I moved a lot growing up into her boyfriends houses and stayed with her friends frequently when she went out to party. Eventually, as you might expect, I learned that that wasn’t fun and that I wanted my mom. I would cry and she’d push me aside because she just didn’t want to be a parent.

She’s doing a lot more now like I said in my post but it’s obvious she has no idea what kids are really like. She sees them sort of as decoration because they were always shoved at me. She knows she’s going to have a world of Hell waiting for her once I’m gone.

Gonebabythoughts: You tell the kids "I love you in my heart, no matter what, always." And you leave because you deserve a life that is not being a domestic servant to your mother's failed birth control philosophy.

You being parentified at such a young age is a form of abuse. Sit down with your 14F sister and explain what happened to you, and that she can't let it happen to her. Your mom will come after her next.

It would be a very good idea to get a therapist to help you reframe exactly how badly you have been treated and why you need to leave. You can't help the other kids, really, until you help yourself first.

OOP: I thought about my sister a lot as well which is what makes this so hard. I took the brunt of everything so she wouldn’t have to. I wanted her to be a kid. 14 is way too early to be a parent and I know that that’s what will happen to her. I know that she’ll just do what she’s told and she’s responsible enough to realize when things aren’t working and she’ll try to fix them herself and fall into that trap.

I don’t know how to have that conversation with her without my household exploding but I know that it needs to be done. My two little siblings have just been crying and crying thinking that I’m never coming back. Even though I tell them that I’ll come visit, my mom keeps telling them that I’m never coming back and abandoning the family.

Verdict: Not The Asshole

UPDATE Aita for moving out after my mom announced her pregnancy?

Hello everyone! I just want to say thank you again for your kind words and encouragement. You have no idea what they meant to me. I moved out and everything is going fine. My mom and step dad blocked me but my 14 yo sister is so far doing fine. I talked to all my siblings individually but it was rough in more ways than one. I had an explosive argument with my mom the day I left but that was to be expected. She said nothing new. She called me selfish, a brat, a terrible daughter, and said that she wished she had aborted me. Nothing I haven't heard before.

About a week or so before I moved out I stopped doing most of the things I did before. My parents freaked out and we had a lot of arguments but I'm happy it's over with. Every time they saw me a comment was said either to my face or under their breath. My mom would act like I was invisible and talk shit about me to whoever was around. She filled my siblings heads up with bullshit and I was incredibly stressed about it. I actually considered staying at that point. I was very close to just staying home, which I know will disappoint you all, but I almost did. This wasn't an easy transition for my siblings and they're small. It hurt so bad watching them get wrapped up in all of this. My parents had no idea how to do anything for some reason. They had no patience and couldn't get the kids to listen to them. I know they didn't have much experience in childcare but they were acting brand new. I had a really hard time watching them struggle and watching my siblings suffer because of it. I felt fucking horrible and like I was neglecting them. School is also coming up very soon and I used to always get them together so that's going to be an upcoming problem. I'm happy that I won't be around for that but I'm sad that I won't be. My little brother will be a kindergartener and my sister will be a freshman in high school. Those are huge milestones I wanted to be around for.

But, on the bright side, my sister is playing the incompetence card all on her own and I love her for it. After our conversation about not turning out like me, she told me she'll pretend not to know how until mom stops asking her which hasn't happened yet. Apparently mom asks her to cook, wash the kids, get them dressed etc. Little gateway things that will spiral into her being the new mom. I'm proud of her for sticking to her plan for the few weeks that she has. She's a lot stronger than I thought she was. I really thought that I'd have to drill it into her to not do anything but she's doing a lot better than expected. I just hope she doesn't crumble under the pressure. I know it's hard. In order to visit I have to be welcomed back into the house but that isn't going well since I'm blocked. I don't want my sister being the middle ma...

Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1jui6ok/parentified_oop_moves_out_when_mom_announces/

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/GamerGirlLex77 on 2025-04-08 15:20:05.

Since we’re getting a lot of people breaking our BORU crosspost rule, I wanted to pin this to our community highlights.

We only allow BORU reposts on Tuesdays and the post must be at least 6 months old. Please use the BORU Time Machine Tuesday flair. Any other BORU crossposts will be taken down.

u/Mermaidpaint is also a BORU mod and wanted this sub to be something different. We decided to allow BORU crossposts once a week because of requests.

Thank you all for contributing!

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/GamerGirlLex77 on 2025-04-06 20:03:33.

About ten years ago my brother and I had a massive falling. I ended up hooking up with his girlfriend at the time, behind his back. (His gf was 18 at the time)

I know I shouldn't have done it, but looking back it my self-esteem was in the gutter, and I used this as a poor attempt at a pick me up. Still, when it became known I was hooking up with her it cost me everything. My brother was no contact with me for the longest, he became low contact with me a few years ago with the pushing of our parents. Essentially, because they were tired of only having to invite one of us somewhere. Still throughout that time, I've grown and deeply regret what happened.

Recently, though I found out he's getting married. He hasn't told me about the wedding but I did know he had a gf, I suppose fiancee now. I am hurt because I thought he were getting along more. Last time he was home I joked about how the airforce is the chairforce (he's in the airforce reserve) and we had a good laugh. He showed me pictures of his vacation to Monaco and everything.

I just want to be able to show my love for my brother and put everything behind us. It also raises more questions from people who don't know about what happened between us if I'm not there

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/GamerGirlLex77 on 2025-04-06 15:04:32.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/localcrux on 2025-04-05 05:34:44.

On Monday, I (42F) went on probably the best date of my entire life. We'll call him great date guy (48M). I met him on Tinder and decided to meet for dinner near my apartment. He brought the most amazing energy to the date, we laughed, adhd vibing (both of us have it), and it was just the most amazing time. He came back to my place, we both agreed to keep things out of the bedroom and take things slow. I agreed, no problem. The night ended with amazing kisses and plans to see each other again on Friday.

Now, before the date, I asked great date guy to come to me because I went on 2 dates with someone who told me he couldn't come to me because he's broke. I drove an hour one way for 2 dates and make half of what he makes a yr (or so he said, who knows). Anyway, the great date guy agreed to come to me.

So, Tuesday, we've been texting when we could all day, because we're at work etc because he'd planned the date for Friday. He had mentioned on Monday that he would like to see me again before Friday if possible. So Tuesday, I asked if he wanted to meet again before Friday. To which he said he wouldn't have his car until Fri. And cue my stupid fucking sense of humor. Here's where I fucked everything up. Because we'd had so much fun, vibing, great banter, etc, I thought it would be a good joke to say "if you're gonna be like that other guy, i might have to rethink this situation." He texted back saying "Ugh. I understand. No hard feelings I wish you the very best." I immediately text back saying I can come to him, but he'd already blocked me. I called, it goes straight to voicemail.

I feel like such an idiot and have cried several times over it. I really, really like him and hate myself for possibly ruining an amazing opportunity and relationship.

TL;DR: made a stupid joke after having the most amazing date of my life. Now I'm blocked and unable to say how sorry I am.

Edit: To clarify, we'd both joked about it. He even asked about it during dinner. He shared things about his ex with me and dating since joining Tinder. He asked about my experiences, etc. We talked about all our tattoos, favorite movies and shows, family, like we went down the adhd rabbit hole of tangent conversation. The night ended with us cuddling in my oversized chair listening to music we both enjoyed. I was using my phone to play music, i was holding the phone on my hip while he searched a song. We both took turns sharing songs we liked, made out a bit, and when he hugged me, he squeezed, saying I was the perfect height. he went home, texted me I was weird and adorable (We both joked about being weirdos through the whole date). He even planned the next date. He texted me links to where we were going, and we were going to meet at the first spot. We were both texting about how excited we were to see each other again.

I understand, the joke was in poor taste on so many levels. However, any neurodivergent adhd'er will tell you, sometimes the filter has a giant hole and everything spills out without an ounce of forethought. And with previous tangents the night before, it seemed to go with our banter we had going.

I did send it with emojis - 🤔🤪

I reached out and left voiccmail, I also emailed him.

All I know is I fucked up, and I'm sorry I hurt his feelings. I have a dark sense of humor and learned to think before I joke.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/mermaidpaint on 2025-04-04 21:08:22.

So, my boyfriend (27M) decided to plan a “special surprise” for my (24F) birthday. I was expecting a nice dinner, maybe a cute gift. Instead, when I got to his apartment, he had another girl (who I’d never met) waiting in lingerie. He proudly announced that he had set up a threesome for me because he thought it would be “every girl’s fantasy.”

I just stood there, completely stunned. I didn’t know what to say, so I just walked out and left him standing there with this random girl. Now he’s blowing up my phone, saying I embarrassed him and hurt his feelings by rejecting his “thoughtful” surprise.

He says I overreacted and that it’s “just fun.” I think this was wildly inappropriate, but now I’m second-guessing myself because he keeps saying I humiliated him. AITA for just walking out instead of talking it out?

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Ace-Cuddler on 2025-04-04 16:55:53.

I am a 35F female who made a mistake of a lifetime.

I grew up in a household where my parents fought a lot. During my doctoral years in graduate school, I was in a stable 4 year relationship with a doctor that felt perfect— my ex was loving, funny, generous, kind and had very strong character and similar internal value system . We never fought. I was happy, fulfilled, motivated, secure, and overall a better, stronger person with him by my side. I remember looking at him while he was driving once and thinking “man, he will be such a good dad one day.”

The segment in my life with him was happy, but looking back it also felt alien. I had never been in such a stable relationship before. I didn’t grow up like that. I had never been this supported or happy. I didnt know how good I had it. However, our sex life wasn’t great to nonexistent. At the end of our relationship, I ended up moving away for a highly competitive, once in a lifetime job offer. While away, I cheated on him and we are no longer together.

I cheated on him with my husband. My husband and I met because we shared a similar passion for trail running ultramarathons. We loved being outdoors and having someone by my side in such a niche sport felt special.

I overlooked the fact that he only graduated from high school and was/is making minimum wage while I make 6 figures. I was young and thought that love would prevail.

I started to see cracks in our relationship as time went on. While I was working hard and overtime to save up for a house, he would disappear for days on camping trips, leaving me to take care of household chores and our dog. We fought over so many little things and had countless communication issues. We do not communicate well or do conflict resolution well. I noticed our sense or humor always didn’t jive, for example there was a time I questioned if he’s racist because of jokes he made with his friends, and it really bothered me. Our empathy level for others and this planet are very different.

But I was in my 30s then and thought I needed to make this work. I later learned that there is guilt from cheating and oftentimes you feel like you need to end up with the person to make it feel right. So… we got married and now have a baby.

After having a baby, our differences and conflicting values are amplified.

• After marrying, he took an expensive career change which I am funding. He comes home from work tired and sometimes needs to study after work or on weekends.
• When he’s not studying, he lies in bed on his phone instead of spending time with me or our baby. He says he needs to decompress. He is always on his phone, whereas I cut down on screen time for my baby.
• he says his career comes first (even though it doesn’t pay much compared to my career). He says when he gets a chance, he is going to move our family out of state to advance his career. I told him I do not want that because we have grandparents, good schools and a strong community here for our child.
• he does nearly 0% of childcare throughout the week. On weekends he may have 15-30 minute play sessions with our baby, but it’s always spontaneous, on HIS time, and I never know how much free time I will have before he says “I need to get back to studying”, so it’s hard for me to get things done or run errands out of the house
• despite him being very absent as a parent, he is very opinionated with raising our baby and everything seems to be my fault according to him. Not a pleasant experience.
• he threatens me with more workload. If I complain about his absence as a dad while he’s playing with our baby, he leaves the room and says “I’m playing with him for YOI, if you’re not grateful I need to get back to work”. Similarly, I did all of our taxes as always and he offers to help mail the packet. When I complained he forgot to attach the w2s among missing other things, he said this was too complicated and he’s going to bed — never said thank you to me for doing our taxes. leaving me to finish the task he offered to help
• he is entitled. For example, he saves $0 for the down payment of our home, yet our home NEEDS to have 3 car garages and he needs an extra room for a music studio (that he never uses now). Yes, I wanted to be a good partner and conceded to his demands. (And now feel resentful)
• I also feel resentful when I see friends who married their classmates now living in nice, safe, highly sought after neighborhoods in beautiful homes or have 2 or 3 homes, while we needed to make some compromises as I’m the sole breadwinner in our relationship
• our educational level differences also show in our conversations. It does not seem like he looks into global or political issues deeply or empathetically. He has no interest in doing or learning how to do conflict resolution. It also appears he is too insecure to apologize. After knowing him for 8 years and countless arguments, he has only apologized once or twice to me, while I apologize after nearly all arguments
• he is always tired. One morning outing to the park, and he needs to be in bed for 3 hours… 2 hours in his phone and 1 hour napping

Yes, I know money/income and education isn’t everything. I know this may be my fate from karma from cheating on my good ex.

I am just feeling lost and alone. Iam wondering, I don’t know, if anyone has any advice. If things will get better. Or how I can move pass this. Do you think I made a mistake? Thank you for reading.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Atworkwasalreadytake on 2025-04-04 12:55:36.

My mom has me (27m) and my sister (29f) with our late dad. He died when I was 10 and my sister was 12 and when I was 15 my mom got remarried. Her husband is "Frank" (fake name). From the very start my sister and I had issues with Frank. We have bigger and smaller issues.

The two big issues are/were;

1. He insisted that nobody mention dad in his presence. Didn't matter who we were with or where we were it was not allowed. This included the times he tagged along when we went to see anyone from dad's side of the family. He would invite himself and then enforce this rule or he'd make us leave. Mom let this happen. Even on dad's anniversary or birthday we couldn't talk about him if Frank was around and that included asking mom if she wanted to come to the grave with us. Frank actually yelled at my sister during her graduation dinner because she had mentioned dad in her speech.

2. He inserted himself deeply into the relationship with our dad's side of the family. We could visit anyone on mom's side without issue. He didn't even care if we said anything to him. But the second it was someone from dad's side and he found out we only mentioned it to mom he would scold us and insist we needed to ask his permission to see them. Then he'd tag along frequently and invite himself to see them too. This went for a lot of stuff. Mom had already stopped coming with us before she even met Frank. But he insisted on being there and if my sister or I said we didn't want him to come then he told us we couldn't go. If whoever we went to see didn't want Frank inside the house he'd say then we weren't allowed inside either. Once my sister moved out he was pissed that she spent more time with dad's side and he tried to tell her what to do still. She was having none of it.

My sister and I talked to mom about ALL our issues with Frank and we told her we didn't want a relationship with him. She always told us we needed to have one with him to have one with her. We took her at her word and my sister stopped talking to her and once I moved out so did I. We stopped going to see her or spending holidays with her (and Frank). We didn't invite her over or initiate any contact. She brought it up a few times how we were bad at maintaining the relationship and we told her we weren't. We just weren't maintaining it but she ignored us. She tried to come and see us a few times. We told her no Frank so she never came. We let her birthday pass without any acknowledgement and when she'd tell us about Frank's birthdays we'd work to forget the date.

A few weeks ago I got engaged. I didn't tell my mom or ask anyone else to but the news got to her. She was upset she didn't hear it from me and upset I said no to he throwing an engagement party for us. She never even met my fiancée which was something else that upset her. She asked how she's supposed to meet her for the first time at the wedding and I told her she's not supposed to. I said she won't be invited. My mom did not expect that at all and she asked me why. I told her Frank is not welcome and she made it perfectly clear she won't come. I reminded her that she said we can't have a relationship with her if we won't have one with Frank and I told her it would be over my dead body that I have a relationship with him.

My mom said we were supposed to love her enough to accept Frank and I told her I do not have to have a relationship with the man who would kick up a fuss over my dad being mentioned in his presence and who tried to control the relationship I had with my family. I reminded her dad is still my dad and I'd find a way to incorporate his memory into the wedding. I asked her if Frank would tolerate that or if he'd start yelling like at my sister's graduation.

She told me she doesn't want to lose both her kids and she loves us. I told her we love her but we're not willing to accept that man she calls a husband. Then she told me I was being so unfair and when she said what she did we could have talked about it more. That reminding her like this wasn't right. I said this was the consequences of her actions. I told her I could live with the consequences of not accepting Frank. That I can sleep fine at night knowing our relationship is what it is. And it isn't my problem if she can't do the same.

Now she's upset and angry and apparently I'm the bad guy in her eyes. AITA?

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/GamerGirlLex77 on 2025-04-03 22:57:45.

Hi everyone,

I’m really struggling right now and need some honest advice. My ex, and I broke up a week and a half ago we had a very intense relationship. But one of the biggest problems we faced was how I handled arguments. I used to let my emotions get the best of me—I'd get angry, raise my voice, and say things I didn’t mean. Afterward, I’d always apologize and promise I’d change. But the truth is, I never truly followed through. I said the right things, but I didn’t fix the patterns. And now, she doesn’t believe me anymore. I get it. I really do. Because I broke her trust too many times. We fell into a cycle of heated arguments—times when I lost my temper and hurt her deeply. I’ve come to fully realize how much my actions contributed to our breakup. Over the past week and a half apart, I’ve done a lot of soul-searching. I even sent her a long, heartfelt message explaining how I’ve grown, how I’m learning to pause instead of explode, and how I’m committed to being the calm, loving partner she deserves.

We recently broke up after one of those arguments, and we’ve been apart for about a week and a half. During this time, something hit me differently. I didn’t just miss her—I really sat with the reality of who I had become and how I hurt someone I love so deeply. For the first time, I didn’t just feel sorry—I felt the full weight of my actions, and I’ve been actively working to change. I’ve learned to pause, to stay calm, to reflect instead of react.

However, her response has been confusing. On one hand, she still shows me signs of care (she’s spending time with me, sharing small moments, even though she said she wants to be single now). On the other hand, she’s built up walls—she mentioned that keeping our old photos up on my instagram doesn’t feel like a fresh start because “we’re not those people anymore.” She also said she was disappointed because she thought we could have fixed things before, but now those walls are in place, and she’s not ready to let them down.

I’m at a point where I feel desperate—part of me wants to fix everything tonight when I see her again, to convince her that the old version of me is gone for good. I want to show her that I’ve grown and that I’m capable of a healthy, respectful relationship. But I'm terrified that if I push too hard, she'll say, "I just need to be single," and I'll lose her forever.

I wrote her a heartfelt message explaining all this—not to win her back with words, but to show her I understand what I did wrong and how I’m growing. She read it, and she told me it was a lot to take in. But since then, she’s told me she’s not ready to get back together. She said she needs to be single, that she’s built up walls, and she doesn’t want to let them down again. She said she’s more disappointed than sad, because a part of her believed we could’ve fixed things before—but it's harder not that she feels like she has those walls up now.

“ I know you’re scared and disappointed because of how we argued, and I understand why those walls are up. I’ve spent the last week not just missing you but also really reflecting—thinking about every moment where I let my anger take over and hurt you emotionally. I’ve learned how to pause, how to listen, and how to love in a way that makes you feel safe and cherished. I’m not that same man anymore. I want to build something new with you—a healthier, softer, stronger love. I’m here, not forcing or begging, but choosing you. Always.'

But her reply was ambiguous, mainly was around the lines of I love you but I need time to myself and I’m not sure how to move forward from here. How do I convince her—without being pushy or desperate—that I'm really a changed man? How do I show her that I can break through these walls tonight and that I’m serious about making our relationship something better?

It breaks my heart, because I know she has every right not to believe me. I’ve told her I’d change so many times, and didn’t. But I’m not that person anymore. I’ve finally done the hard work—facing the parts of me that needed healing, understanding the way my anger hurt both of us, and learning what it actually means to love someone through peace, not control or reactivity.

Now, I’m stuck. I don’t want to push her, but I also don’t want to give up. I want to prove to her—not just with words but with consistency and presence—that this time is different. That I’m different. But how do I show her that when she’s already shut the door?

We’re still talking and seeing each other sometimes, but she’s put up these emotional walls, and I don’t know how to break through them in a healthy, respectful way. I don’t want to overwhelm her or ignore her boundaries. But I also can’t pretend like I don’t love her and want another chance to do things right.I feel lost, exhausted by the back and forth, and I’m scared that if she fully commits to being single now, it might be too late. Any advice on how to approach this conversation tonight (or in the near future) so that I can truly reassure her of my growth and show her the new, calm version of me would be greatly appreciated.

So I guess my question is… how do you prove real, deep change to someone who’s tired of hearing it? Is there anything I can do now—not months from now—that could help her see I mean this?

Thanks for reading.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Individual_Plan_5593 on 2025-04-03 18:18:58.

I’m writing this with nothing but shame. Since I’m anonymous here so I am just venting it out.

My wife and I were together for eight years , three years of dating and five years of marriage. We had good relationship. Ever since our son was born I thought we had everything we ever wanted.

But life got in the way. My work got demanding. She was busy being a mother and getting back to her career , and I was busy with my job. Slowly, our time together shrank to just nights that too exhausted and drained. She became completely absorbed in our child, and work , I started to feel left out. I should have understood, but instead, I let resentment creep in. There were no physial and emotional intimacy between us

Then I met a colleague from my new project team. At first, it was just work, then soon from professional talks we started to talk about personal lives . She knew I was married, knew I had a child as I used to mention about them a lot before but that didn’t stop us. We gradually started spending more time together at the office, used to go in same gym too, we started talking more and soon every time and in endless conversations. Before I knew it, I was having a full-fledged affair.

After some months I started to feel guilty about what I was doing. I tried to end it. I broke up with her. But I couldn't resist myself and got back to her even though it made me feel awful, I went back. And like every cheater, I got caught this time.

It was when I was using my wife’s old laptop and forgot to log out of WhatsApp. One day, she opened it by mistake to share something. And there it were my messages to my girlfriend. Hotel bookings. Plans. Every disgusting detail. And if that wasn’t enough, I had a habit of saving my passwords in a chat with myself. She got access to everything my phone, my emails..

She didn’t react anything at first but with the help of her best friend, who is a lawyer, she collected every bit of evidence while pretending she know nothing. She watched me lie about my weekend plans, saw me cover my tracks, and let me dig my own grave.

And then, when she had enough, She called my parents and told them everything. I will never forget that day my father slapped me in front of everyone. That was when I realised I was doomed.

I begged her for forgiveness , fell at her feet, cried for hours. She didn’t flinch. next day, she packed her bags, took our child, and left the home. My parents stopped talking to me. My father, in his rage disowned me. F rom the past three years they aren't talking to me properly and finally they disinherited me from family inheritence and gave everything to my brother.

Meanwhile in court, my ex-wife ripped me off, Her best friend fighting her case, and they made sure I had no way out. She filed multiple cases, and for three years, I am just visiting courts and getting scolded by judges, I lost custody of my child. I am drained financially, emotionally, physically. They left nothing untouched.

And now, here I am. Alone. No family, no wife, no child. Just regret. I ruined my life with my own hands. And I deserve every bit of it. I can't believe I destroyed my years of reputation , relationship for some months of pleasure.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/ChromeXBoy on 2025-04-03 03:07:50.

I (45f) am currently divorced from my ex Thomas (47m) of 30years. We ended up seeing a lawyer to help with dividing stuff. Everything was pretty much wrapped up till he said he no longer wanted any part of our kids' lives (5m) and (12f). I didn't argue with him about it since I already know what it's like having a parent who doesn't want you around or wants to be in your life. I asked what he wanted me to tell the kids and he just said "whatever you think is best I don't care. I don't want to parent anymore." Everything was in agreement and signed with no fuss.

A few weeks later I get a call from my ex Mil asking if we could meet each other. When I came over she broke down crying and begging to let my ex see his kids again. I was confused about what she meant because not once did he contact me after meeting the lawyer. She went on about how my ex said "he really missed them and that I was just a petty b*tch for taking full custody." Also that he was crying for days about it. I told her my version of events and she called it bs saying her son wouldn't lie like that especially not about his kids. Then I decided to call him in front of her. He didn't know she and I were meeting that day.

I said "hey (5m) has a soccer game in a few days (which he did) and I was wondering if you wanted to go? I know he'd really love it and be happy to see you." He instantly said "No. I already said I'm not doing this anymore." I raised my voice a bit saying "well what about holidays and birthdays because we never discussed any of it and your family might want to see them." He just said " my family already thinks the kids aren't mine anyways so it doesn't matter." I asked"well how do you think this is going to effect Denise (his mom)? She is over the moon about them." He just said " She loves me more than the kids so I doubt this will be an issue for her." After a bit more talking we finally hung up. Ex Mil was straight faced and nodded at everything that just happened saying "mmm okay." She asked me to leave and said we would be in touch.

Later that day I got a call from my ex saying how it's my fault he was kicked out of his mom's house and possibly will be taken off her will. Also that none of his family members will talk to him because of what ex Mil heard. He threw a lot of insults at me before I hung up and now him and his mates keep calling and texting me. My friend is saying I shouldn't have said anything in the first place and I ruined his life.

Edition: hello thank you for your support and the gold reward. Yes, I plan to let Denise see the kids because I know she just wants to give them the world along with the rest of his family. (I was honestly confused with what op meant at first and my daughter told me overpowered like in anime but my sister clarified.)

2nd edition: hello again, I want to address something because this keeps coming up and I can't keep up with everyone. Due to actions he and I took when we were younger my Christian parents thought it would be best he and I be married at the time.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/mrs-mercy on 2025-04-02 10:12:37.

My husband recently asked me for a paternity test. Why? Because our son looks nothing like him.

I never cheated on him. I would never. He knows he was my first and only partner.

I told him he can have the test. Who am I to stop him from it? He took the test and found out our son is actually his and he seemed very happy. I told him congrats. Now you are sure it's your own son you are paying child support for. He asked what does that mean and I told him if he thinks I cheat on him then we truly shouldn't be married.

I took my son and left and we are currently staying in a hotel and I'm going to get divorced.

He keeps calling and texting and begging me to come back but I don't want to. He said if I had such a problem with the test then I should have stopped him instead of allowing it and then "acting like a bratty child and ruining our lives".

I'm not sure how I'm the one ruining our lives. He is the one who thinks I'm a cheater, he should be happy he doesn't have to live with a cheater anymore.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/GamerGirlLex77 on 2025-04-01 23:56:59.

I am NOT OP. Original post by u/throwoffmychest234 in r/TrueOffMyChest

trigger warnings: cheating

mood spoilers: upsetting for OOP, but ending is satisfying

FIRST POST: My wife went out last night and didn't come home until this morning Oct. 16 2022

This is horrible, I'm furious right now. But I'm also depressed as hell. I know what I have to do, it's just killing me that I have to do it. It’s fresh, and it hurts a lot.

My wife didn't come home last night. She went out with a couple of girlfriends, which is pretty normal for her. She's normally back around 2AM on these nights, so I waited up. Around 2:30, I called to check in. She answered, and I could hear people in the background. She told me they went to a party but were leaving in a couple of minutes. She wasn't home by 3 so I texted. It delivered, but no reply. Around 4AM I called again, it rang a couple of times before she sent me to voicemail.

My wife finally came stumbling through the door at 6:47AM this morning. I know the exact time because I was worried. She was wearing a dress she didn't leave the house in, with mesh leggings I've never seen either. The leggings had clearly been torn, and her makeup was smudged.

My heart sank when I saw her. My immediate worry was that she had been assaulted. She only shook her head no when I asked her that. I asked her what she had been doing then. She only said that I knew what she had been doing, and that kind of confirmed what the voice in the back of my head had been screaming since she walked in. My wife cheated on me last night.

I asked her who it was, she shrugged almost casually and said it was somebody they met at the club. She went back to his house and hooked up with him, then Ubered home. She then said she didn't want to fight and just wanted to sleep. So that's what she did.

She's still asleep now, and didn't even take a shower before passing out. Suffice to say our relationship is over. We don't have any kids, and we rent so it shouldn't be an extremely complicated process. I keep trying to reason myself out of it, pretending there might be something to salvage here. I've always maintained that cheating would be a red line for me though. I think I need to stick to that now.

Small Update: True update coming later but for now... Oct. 17 2022

Alright, things have happened. I am no longer at home, I left. I wasn't able to get the day off work today though, so I'm writing this on my lunch now. It's been a struggle keeping myself together today, honestly. I've had to sneak off to the bathroom twice to cry, shit's rough dude.

I'll post something more detailed later on because holyfuckingshit there's a lot. I'm exhausted. I've only slept about four hours total since this all happened.

Does anyone know if I should post the actual update in a new thread, or just update the one I already made? It's gonna be a lot of text, probably longer than the first one by a bit.

Also, to the woman who felt compelled to send me a topless picture. Thanks, but also no thanks. My heart just isn't in that sort of thing right now.

Final Update: [Update] My wife went out last night and didn't come home until this morning Oct. 18 2022

Original post here

Me again, folks. I’m sorry I didn’t get around to this sooner. I wasn’t able to get the day off work yesterday because my boss kind of sucks. I was a complete mess at work yesterday though, so I was allowed to take the rest of the week as vacation, thankfully.

I think I went through all of the stages of grief while my soon-to-be-ex was sleeping. I wasn’t expecting my post to get any attention at all. I just figured I needed to try to talk to someone about it, because I was not in a good headspace. I made the post in the morning, and by noon she was still conked out in the bedroom. I had processed things a bit more, and I had a rough plan in my head that I was starting to set in motion.

I made a short list of questions I wanted answers to, gathered up all my important documents, laptop, etc. Then I went into the bedroom and started packing myself a suitcase. I know a lot of folks wanted me to kick her out. I did consider it, but honestly I’m not overly attached to this place. We just rent, and I’m in a lucky enough situation to be able to say that paying half the rent for a few months isn’t going to financially end me. It’ll sting a little bit, I won’t lie. But I’ll make it, and I feel like being around this place is only going to remind me of her anyway, I need to be looking forward, not back.

She ended up waking up about halfway through me packing my suitcase. There was momentary confusion as she looked around the room then she just started balling. Maybe this is awful of me, but I didn’t bother comforting her. I told her I had the screenshots of her Uber and text messages from her phone, and that plus her confirmation was enough that things between us were completely done. She didn’t answer me, and just cried louder. I debated trying to continue the conversation, but I decided to just pack the rest of my suitcase and head back out to the living room until she came out.

When she finally left the bedroom, she sat next to me on the couch and asked me if we could talk things through. I told her as calmly as possible that wasn’t how things were going to work. I was going to ask questions, I wanted honest answers. She told me she’d be honest, so I proceeded. My voice was shaking the entire time, it was taking me everything to hold it together but I kept going:

Was this the first time she had cheated?

She started crying before she answered that, then told me no. She had cheated on me multiple times over the course of our relationship. It was, and I’m going to use her words exactly here “Just sex, a way for me to let off steam. None of it ever meant anything.”

I wrote a comment shortly after making my post that all the love couldn’t just fade away in one swoop. Well, it can. It hit me right then that I wasn’t dealing with my wife. The person I was married to literally wasn’t in the room. This was someone different. She refused to tell me exactly how many times she had cheated, just more than last night.

Had she used protection?

No hesitation from her before she nodded her head emphatically. She seemed surprised I’d even ask that. I’m still going to get tested just to be safe, I did some research into timing and I’m going to look after it.

Were her friends also cheating on their spouses?

Yes, and no. I tried to get her to tell me which of her friends were cheating so I could get in contact with their spouses. She probably should have, because her refusal led to me messaging pretty much the romantic partner of every one of her girlfriends I could find on social media. There are a couple I don’t know or couldn’t find, but I did my part.

Why did she do it?

This was the answer that gutted me the most. I’m going to use her exact words again. “I need to have sexual variety.” I told her that it’s not like our sex life is dull. She clarified. “It’s not the same as something new.”

I didn’t even have a response to that one. I had expected something about me working too much, or not supporting her emotionally. Nope. She just fucked other guys because she felt like it, and wanted to have some fun.

When I didn’t respond. She started asking me about counseling and therapy. I reiterated that our relationship was over. I’d be leaving. What she did next disgusted me. My ex actually tried to have sex with me. She put her hands on me, and started trying to take off my clothes. I felt like I wanted to vomit, and pushed her away after a couple of seconds. She just kept telling me that she would figure out a way to fix it, that we would work through it together. I told her that there was no way, and she started balling again. She went to the bathroom and locked herself inside.

I was just sick of everything at that point. I called her mother, and told her what was going on. The full story too, the cheating, the questions I had asked, and the fact I was leaving. I’ve always had a good relationship with my Ex’s parents. They both decided to drive to town, which is about an hour for them. Once I knew someone was on the way, I just grabbed my things and left. Her waterworks in the bathroom were just annoying me because it felt hollow to me, especially given the answer...

Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1jpasr1/oops_wife_admits_to_cheating_and_somehow_expects/

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/ChromeXBoy on 2025-03-30 18:35:30.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/GamerGirlLex77 on 2025-03-30 16:08:47.

I've been married to my 2nd Husband "Mike" for 4 years now. He's a jokester and loves to crack jokes all the time. He especially like to joke with my brother "Ethan" and his wife. Ethan used to be okay with it til he started complaining about Mike taking it too far with his jokes.

Some context about Ethan. He and his wife couldn't have kids so they adopted a boy "Joey" 2 years ago. Mike has been making silly, lighthearted jokes that involving Joey's bio parents as a way to mess with Ethan and his wife. I already talked to Mike and I tell you that he's 100%means no harm and he was just trying to get them to react.

So fast forward to NYE, my parents hosted a big celebratory dinner and Ethan and his wife came. While we were eating dinner, Mike decided to tell a knock-knock joke to Ethan. He said "Knock knock.." Ethan laughed and said "Who's there?". Mike replied "Joey's bio parents" then he bursted out laughing. Silence took over and Ethan's facial experssions changed. His wife called Mike an "idiot" to which Mike replied with "Hey...Relax it was just a joke". An argument ensued and dinner was paused. My parents suddenly told Mik to leave which I thought was too harsh. I tried to speak to them and get them to calm down but mom insisted that Mike leave. We left and Mike was complaining the whole time about how they overreacted. I called mom later and she told me Mike was out of line with his hurtful jokes about this touchy topic and told me I was wrong for defending him and saying he was just joking. She said he ruined NY for the family but I told her it was her and dad who ruined NY celebration for escalating the situation and kicking him out. I told her he could talk to them but again they were the ones who ruined NY celebration. She called me delusional for this statement and hung up.

We haven't talked to them for days. I tried contacting Ethan but no response.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Only_Character_8110 on 2025-03-31 14:43:27.

I come from a big family. We are 5 siblings,2 sets of twins(50F-my sister (her twin died in utero),47M-me and my brother,42F-my other two sisters). We are taking about our biggest one. My parents were really careful to not parentify him because they both had the same fate in their family. They took good care of us,all of us have fruitful and satisfying careers. The problem is(at least for my sister) they didn't push us there. They encouraged but they never had the expectation. This was a problem for my biggest sister. She always found them "lazy and unmotivated" and she limited contact with us after she graduated law school. She has become a really successful lawyer,married to a renowned surgeon(who is my friend from medical school,a really ambitious guy who is also a real OCD) and had his son at age 32 via IVF,it was all planned.

After she had her son,aka my nephew,she started to push him really hard. She was trying to make him read at age 2,she sent him to piano lessons from age 4 and had 1-1 tutors since he was first grade. He was never allowed to have free time and every moment of his life was curated. The only time slot he had was Saturday afternoon and where he would visit my parents and we always planned events and free time for him.

His teenage years was absolute hell. He was forced beyond his capacities by my sister and BIL and when he was 16,he tried to commit suicide at the hospital BIL works at by stealing benzo from the nurse counter. After that,he had a good time in the inpatient ward(5 months in ward,3 months in a group home) and after that,he wanted to stay with me(I am the only one from my siblings who does not have a kid and I live with my husband in a three store villa so he can have the roof to himself) BIL had an awakening and he divorced my sister after this. Him and nephew had a year of family therapy and last summer he moved in back with BIL and he also decided to pursue medicine. (I don't live in US,medical school starts directly after high school and it is 6 years).

During that time,my sister really dug into her heels. She blamed us and my BIL for letting him to be "weak",she said he was alive and he had to endure this so he could become "resilient and untouchable". She said in the court : "I don't care he feels bad,this is life,you either climb the ladder or you fall down. If he fell down there is nothing we can do,life goes on." I never saw someone to look with pure anger like the head judge and he said "You are a really successful lawyer,I should give you that but you are really a terrible person and a being that can't be called a parent." and turned to my BIL and said "You need help,a lot of help."

Last January,my sister had a mini stroke(TIA) and she genuinely started to think about her life as I understood from my brother,who is the only one of us that checks up on her and last week,she tried to reach to my nephew but he directly said he did not care she was alive or not. When she tried to talk to me about that I briefly said "What were you expecting sis?" and closed the call. Now all of the family calls me an AH and they think I should have supported her.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/GamerGirlLex77 on 2025-03-31 06:16:47.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/kraefishie on 2025-03-28 18:13:31.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/hmmmmmmpsu on 2025-03-28 03:08:35.

I (25F) cheated on my boyfriend (27M) twice. The first time was at my parents' house, and the second time was in the woods behind my grandparents' house. I know, I know, it's disgusting and I'm ashamed.

He's usually the strong one in our relationship, always knowing what to do in any situation. But now, he's just distant. He's not responding to me, and it's killing me.

To make things worse, he's currently staying at my place because his is being renovated. I feel like I have a small window of opportunity to try and fix things.

I'll take any advice at this point. I know I don't deserve it, but I'm desperate to save our relationship. What can I do?

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/AnnesleyandCo on 2025-03-28 00:02:41.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/hawkwardturtlr on 2025-03-27 18:47:12.

I'm (25f) pregnant with my first child and only a few weeks ago my estranged parents found out about my pregnancy from someone I know back in my home town. They reached out so excited to find out they were going to be grandparents and wanting to be involved but I ignored them and continued ignoring them until two days ago when I replied one time and made it clear they will never know my child or be in our lives and that I wanted them to stop contacting me. This was all via email btw.

Let me get into some background. I have an older sister Sam (28) and she had a best friend Luna. Sam and Luna met in pre-k and became fast friends. Luna was over at our house all the time and eventually she started saying really awful things to me and bullying me. She called me names, mocked me whenever I asked if I could spend time with her and Sam, threw stuff at me when she'd see me and even made a game out of spitting at me and seeing how many times she could hit me.

My parents knew and they did nothing but once I was 7 they sat me down and told me that Luna had a bad time at home and she was mean but she needed us and I needed to understand. And how Luna was so important to Sam and she would grow up into a better person if we didn't abandon her.

She used to come along to extended family parties and dinners. I remember one time mom's side was all meeting up and because my parents didn't say Luna was coming we were a chair short for a bit. Luna took the chair and then said there was no room for me at the table just like there wasn't room for me anywhere and I should cry in a corner somewhere. Mom's family were horrified and I started to cry. I was like 9 by then. My grandparents ended up leaving the table and getting one for just the three of us and they spoiled me while they refused to pay for a single thing Luna consumed. They asked me what was going on too and I told them EVERYTHING. Afterward my parents got so much shit from mom's side of the family and my mom's parents contacted my dad's parents and they were shamed by both sides.

When they had enough of that my parents told Sam that Luna needed to come over less or she needed to be nicer. They sorta stuck to that for a while. My grandparents checked in on me weekly to see if my parents were "letting that spoiled little madam into the house to abuse me" and I think that was the deterrent for my parents.

But then when I was 12 my parents let Luna move in with us. They said her home situation was worse and she was going to apologize and we were going to make sure she felt wanted and welcome with us. I got a "sorry, I guess" from her but I could hear her making fun of me to Sam whenever me and my parents weren't around. She'd laugh about how I looked betrayed when my parents told me she was moving in. She found it hilarious.

I think you can see whose side Sam was always on.

I lived like that for a little over a year before it got to be too much and I told my grandparents Luna was living with us. They went ballistic on my parents and after weeks or months of fighting about it my grandparents insisted I was going to move in with them. My parents protested against it but my grandparents said they couldn't be trusted to take care of me. My parents wouldn't kick out Luna for me so yeah. I lived with my grandparents the rest of that time and I actually live in the same neighborhood as them with my partner now.

I actually had zero contact once I moved in with my grandparents. These emails were the first contact in more than a decade. My parents keep replying to that one email. I got like four within a few minutes about an hour after I sent it and they're telling me I'm taking this too far and they said Luna isn't even in the picture anymore.

AITA?

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/mermaidpaint on 2025-03-27 16:44:31.

Alright, so I (32F) work in a corporate office and my job can be pretty demanding. Ive been at this company for six years and Im damn good at what I do. I dont mind helping out my coworkers, but recently, I drew a hard line...

Enter Sarah (29F). She started about a year ago and at first, we got along fine. I even helped her out when she was struggling to learn some systems and workflows. But as time went on, I noticed something… odd. Whenever something went right, she took full credit. But if anything went wrong, suddenly, it was my fault.

A few months ago our manager called us into a meeting about a project we worked on together. There had been a mistake...nothing catastrophic, but something that needed fixing. Before I could even open my mouth, Sarah immediately blamed me. She said, “Oh, I thought OP was handling that part. I didnt realize she missed it.”

EXCUSE ME??

She knew we both had equal responsibility, but instead of owning up to it, she just threw me under the bus. I stayed professional in the meeting, but after, I confronted her like, “What was that?” She just shrugged and said, “Sorry I panicked!” Bla bla bla

I told her that if she was going to pull that, she shouldnt expect me to cover for her anymore. She just laughed it off...

Welp, fast forward to last week, and guess what? Sarah screwed up a report. A big one. It was something she was directly responsible for, and if it wasnt fixed ASAP, it would make her look really bad. She came to my desk, all sweet and friendly, and said, “Heyyy can you help me fix this? I know youre really good with data…”

I looked her dead in the eye and said, “Oh, I thought you were handling that part.” And then I went back to my work....

She panicked. She ended up staying super late to fix it, but not before complaining to a few coworkers that I was being “petty” and “not a team player.” Some people agree with me, but a couple of coworkers (who werent there when she threw me under the bus) said I shouldve helped because thats what good coworkers do.

So AITAH for refusing to bail her out after what she did to me or should I have just let it go?

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Fun-Needleworker9590 on 2025-03-27 12:54:26.

My wife (32f) is very close to my (33m) family. We were childhood best friends, high school sweethearts and we've been together for 18 years now. They've known her all that time and my mom adores her and they're incredibly close. Actually my mom has a good relationship with all but one of her children's partners.

My younger brother's "Aidan" (29m) wife (27f) is the exception. Aidan married Gem last year. They dated for a couple of years before that. At first we all got along pretty good with Gem but she suddenly started being a dick to my wife. It started with very subtle comments that my wife said were nothing and I was just overreacting. While others would joke that my wife was mom's favorite kid, Gem would sound bitter and jealous about it. Then her comments turned mean about it. The jokes about it, which were never very frequent, stopped after that but Gem would bring it up anyway. Then it was comments about exhausting it must be for my wife to have so many people who want her time and attention. Those were sparked by my siblings partners also getting along with my wife, not to mention my mom and wife hanging out and then my wife and I have kids together. I asked Gem what her problem was, spoke to Aidan 1:1 as well and others spoke up in defense of my wife.

Gem's biggest issue has always appeared to be my mom and my wife being close. I don't know why it drives her crazy but it does.

Now Aidan's frustrated because Gem isn't included the way my wife and the other partners are. The fact mom will do days with her daughters in-law and Gem isn't invited. Or that my wife will do girls stuff with the women in our family but she doesn't invite Gem because eventually she got sick of Gem's shit too. She was better than me at brushing it off for a while but I think anyone would get annoyed by someone always treating them like shit.

So Aidan came to me hoping I'd advocate for Gem to be included. He said she just feels left out and wants to be included. I told him she has a funny way of showing it. He said she knows she messed up but to give her another chance for him. I told him I'm not going to advocate for his wife's inclusion when she was so rude to mine. I told him he needs to get Gem to make it up to everyone and work toward her inclusion or else she's staying an outsider. I told him I get that his loyalty is with his own wife but mine will always be with my wife.

He told me someone our side needs to try or Gem will feel like she's wasting her time. I told him it's not on me. He tried to pull some brotherhood crap and I told him to knock it off and accept my answer. Obviously he hates that. My wife said she'd have no problem if Gem apologized and actually stopped with her comments and she's glad I told Aidan what Gem needed to do. Aidan keeps telling me I was a dick and could've done more.

AITA?