OhNoConsequences

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/natureboy596175 on 2025-06-25 19:20:11.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/advocatesparten on 2025-06-25 14:03:10.

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My mom cheated on her ex-husband which made him leave her. I was born from the affair and her ex-husband wanted nothing to do with me, which I so get! I do! They had four kids together who were 7 to 14 when I (17F) was born. My mom made me think he was my dad for years and she tried to get him to take care of me and she got even pushier with it because their kids rejected me. They rejected her too but me as well. And worse than mom really.

She'd try to force her ex and his family-like his parents and siblings- to interact with me. That was for her other kids' sports games and stuff. She'd drag me and she'd try to sit with them and she'd try to lead conversations. All it did was make me feel like shit because he couldn't hide his disgust for me and his family didn't hide theirs either.

Another thing is my name. She gave me an Italian first name to go with our Italian last name, which is her ex's last name. Two of their other kids have Italian names he chose and the other two had non-Italian names chosen by mom. She has admitted she wanted to try and shame him into taking care of me. And she has used my name to try and make it believable that he's my real dad. Not just with me but with other people. She would say he was my dad and abandoned me because I was so young and he wanted to be done with her faster.

When her other kids stopped talking to her she would take me to her ex's house and fuss at him for letting me get left behind. Sometimes when she did that the police were called. Other times him and their kids would stand there arguing and over and over I was called the affair kid and it got to me. I cried at times and even then my mom would stand there and argue.

My mom did give up but she still tells people I'm his and she even said I have his name and my first name is one he chose, from his culture and his family and stuff. It bothers me so much that she won't let it die. I have no extended family in my life either. I don't know mom's family and I never could find my dad online, if that's even the right guy she gave me the name of (eventually).

She's moped about her kids not talking to her and how she's a grandma and doesn't know her grandkids and how most of her kids have left her. She told me we should be closer but I act like I don't like her. I asked her how she could be surprised and I can't wait to leave her without all of her kids. I said she doesn't deserve to have me stick around when she uses me as a pawn. She got really mad and yelled at me. She pointed out how she's all I have which is true.

AITA?

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Sebastianlim on 2025-06-25 01:46:40.

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My parents divorced when I (27f) was 10 because my mom had an affair. How do I know? Because her affair partner turned husband was also married and his wife at the time showed up at our house after the affair came out both sides and yelled it all over the place. She had to be removed by the cops and she showed up a few more times over the next two years. My mom blamed my dad for me finding out until I was 14 and I told her I wasn't deaf and could hear that woman outside our house and I wasn't too young to understand what it meant.

My relationship with mom was strained by her affair and I don't give a fuck about her husband. He never had kids and tried to play the dad role but I shut him out and put him in his place whenever he tried, by reminding him I have a dad and he doesn't get to take me from dad like he took mom. And yes I know nobody can take another person. It was my mom's choice and her fault too. But still. It felt extra insulting to try and play parent when he helped destroy my family and dad's marriage to mom.

My dad died when I was 19. It was a very tense time in my relationship with mom because I didn't tell her. She found out after dad's funeral. A part of me was glad because I did not want her to come to the funeral and I certainly didn't want her there with her husband. My mom was hurt and acted like I owed it to her to let them come, so they could be there for me. I told her their support was not wanted right then. Especially not for losing dad.

Even still she believed that her husband would become the father figure I no longer had with dad gone. And they both expected he would be given father of the bride honors at my wedding. Instead I asked my grandpa and mom blew a fuse when she found out. She asked me what the hell I was thinking and her husband has been there, raising me, since I was 10 and he is more to me than just some random guy. I told her she was partly right and he's just the guy she cheated on my dad with. Nothing more.

My mom said it was a childish and vindictive way to describe him and that I need to get the fuck over it and appreciate how hard he tried with me. She said it's like I'm trying to punish them for the affair when it was nothing to do with me. I told her this isn't a punishment, this is consequences. And she has to live with them. Same way he does.

She's still going crazy about me saying that and I don't feel bad but question if maybe I was a bit of an AH for telling her that. Maybe? AITA?

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/RadicallyAnonyMouse on 2025-06-25 00:22:45.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Acceptable_Mode6757 on 2025-06-24 23:19:54.

Original Title: OOP's Sister didn't invite his Son for her Wedding after he spends 6+ Months designing the Wedding Dress for her. OOP stands up for his Son by not giving her the Wedding Dress unless she invites his son or pays them the dress for his Son's work.

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I (40m) have a sister (30f) who is getting married in a week. The groom proposed to her a year ago at a family dinner that left everyone speechless, but very happy for them as they are longtime companions. During this dinner, my sister asked my son (17m) to make her wedding dress. My son has always loved design and fashion, he took technical courses in these areas and sewing, and even his friends keep asking for his clothes because they are so beautiful. He agreed, but said that he needed time and that he would need her opinion constantly.

At first my sister was very annoying. My son drew about 50 dress designs in a month and she only liked one, which he continued with. He sewed it with great quality fabric which I paid for as I wanted to get involved in a certain way. For five months he made several adjustments to suit her wishes, as she always complained about something. After a while, he arrived at the final model and it was just amazing. My mother cried seeing my sister in the dress and I confess that I almost got emotional too.

The problem was that last week my son came to talk to me about the wedding invitation that had not arrived for him, but for other family members. I thought maybe he didn't need one, but it still felt weird. I messaged my sister raising this issue and she replied that she didn't want any underage people at her wedding because there would be alcohol. I asked if she was going to make an exception for my son, but she cut me off and said no.

There are no children in our family, my son is the only minor, so I didn't see any sense in this rule for family members. And to make matters worse, my son was very sad and cried because he spent months on this dress and couldn't go to the wedding. I was very upset and told my sister that she should look for another dress as soon as possible, as she would no longer wear the one my son made.

She called and yelled at me, saying I was being unreasonable and that I couldn't do this. My mother called me saying I should deliver the dress and follow the rules, but I didn't and hung up on her. Because of this, the family is divided. Many agree with me and condemn my sister's action saying she could only make an exception, but another part says I'm unreasonable and I'm spoiling her big day.

I don't think I'm being wrong but just rational and paying her back in kind. So AITA?

UPDATE:

first I would like to thank all the comments and suggestions, I really didn't expect my post to resonate so much.

I talked to my son about the suggestions you guys gave me and he agreed to sell the dress at market price. He calculated the price of everything and the value was quite high. We sent the proposal to my sister and she hated it. She said she couldn't afford it because it was too expensive and it should be a gift because "she is family". I responded by saying that it was too easy to say she was family to get a free dress, but not enough to include my son. She cried on the call and begged me not to ruin her day, but I didn't call because that to me was bullshit.

At no point did she offer to just let my son go or apologize for it.

And for anyone who said that maybe she's homophobic, I'm not sure, but I think who could be influencing her is her fiancé who is a Christian and has never been close to my son. However, I don't care if he's doing it or not. If she wants to exclude my son from this event then she will also be cutting ties with me.

And for those who are asking for a photo of the dress, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but my son didn't agree and unfortunately I won't post it because of that.

If anything else happens I'll let you know, until then, thank you all!

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/J_S_M_K on 2025-06-24 17:14:12.

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Originally posted by u/imshattered_ in r/TrueOffMyChest on Jan 1, '23, updated Jan 21st and Jan 27.

Original post

My boyfriend asked for a paternity test for our child. As soon as the results come and show he is the father, I'm leaving him.

I'm a new mom to a baby boy who is my pride and joy and though it's been a rollercoaster adjusting to taking care of a baby, the past few months have been great, tiring but great.

I have a bf of 3 years who is the first person relationship wise I have ever loved and I thought we were doing great as new parents but also as partners.

Friday, he came home and he asked me for a paternity test. Just like that, it was completely out of the blue. I was putting away the dishes and he asked for one, like he was asking what was for dinner. I'm a different race from him but our child, apart from the skin tone, is literally his mirror image from pictures I had seen of him when he was a baby.

I was stunned when he asked and his reasons were that he had to be sure he was the father, he had to have that certainty. All I remember as he was speaking is just immediately feeling pain.

The man I love doesn't trust me. He would actually believe that I would fuck someone else, cheat on him, and then try to pass off another man's baby as his. I have never ever given him reason to think I would cheat on him. I have tried to be transparent and communicated and it wasn't enough.

He told me he would give me time to think about this, that he wouldn't go behind my back and do this test but for our relationship to move forward, he needs to be 100% sure. He repeated this because he, in his words, "needed me to realize how serious he was".

After thinking for a couple of days, I'm going to allow him this paternity test because I have nothing to hide. I never cheated and would have never cheated on him. Once it's proven that he's the father, I'm ending it, leaving the same day and I am going to try my best to be a cooperative coparent with him.

In the meantime, I'm coming up with my exit plan, a place to live, and a lawyer to work out a custody arrangement and court.

I can't even tell my family or my friends right now because they would go nuclear and my first priority is our child. I hope the test was worth it to him.

I'm not asking for advice or reassurance or to explain his side. I just, I'm just realizing this part of my life is now over. What a way to start the new year, huh.

1st Update 3 Weeks Later

We did the paternity test my bf wanted.

My post was removed. So I'm going to post it here. It's been a couple of weeks since I posted and I have just been navigating things after. I'm going to call my bf, Mason to keep things clear. This is going to be long, I'm sorry.

Also, Why post on Reddit? I don't know guys, I don't know.

To clarify a few things:

1. We're different races but to my knowledge, his family plus extended is more than ok with it. His mother actually set us up. I went to a dinner party and he and I were the only single people who had been invited and we hit it off. She admitted to trying to set us up for months.
2. We have had no issues with cheating or any situations where things could be sketchy during the years we have been together. We also haven't broken up or taken any breaks.
3. Our son is his mirror image. My bf confided to his cousin about the paternity test a couple of days after he asked me and the cousin told his wife and it spread like wildfire, especially in their family group chats. His mom put an end to the speculation though by doing a half and half pic of him and our son but also by adding some additional individual pics of both of them. She posted the pictures in the family group chat and said, "look at the old pics I found of Mason".

After people commented, she said, actually the one on the right is my grandchild, or this one isn't Mason. Literally the family members just thought that it was the same person in all of the pics and that some of the photos were taken in darker lightning. That is how much our son looks like him which I find funny but also a little annoying, like I carried you for 9 months, all for you to be a copy of your dad. I didn't see the group chat but the topic died down when his mom did that.

Anyway, we talked. When I had made the first post, I was so angry and planned to leave but the anger was quickly replaced by hurt once I calmed down.

I realized if I blindsided him like that, i would be doing the exact same thing that he did to me, when he asked for a paternity test.

I planned to ask him to talk but I also didn't want him to think I was trying to get out of the test. So beforehand, I booked an appointment at two different paternity test locations. I asked him to talk when he came home and I made sure our child was at my mom's. I told him that whatever happened with this talk, the paternity tests had been booked and would go forward.

I basically asked him his reasoning and, when he started having doubts about paternity. Was it a previous relationship, did cheating happen? He said it was about a week before he asked me that he started having doubts. He said that he was on his lunch break one day just reading articles and he clicked on an old article about a man who found out his three kids weren't his after like 20 years. This led him into a rabbit hole of podcasters and YouTube videos that encouraged men to ask for paternity tests. While he thought those podcasters were idiots, he said that paternity was an exception. He said his reasoning was that some women have done this before and he wanted to be sure. He said "you know it's yours because the baby comes out of you but how do I know?" "The test gives me that assurance."

I was hurt by that but I decided to explain how I felt. I said thatfor him, it was a rational request while for me, it was basically him saying that he didnt trust me. It was him saying that he believed "I would cheat on him, get pregnant, have him emotionally, financially, and physically support me during the pregnancy, and birth and basically lie to him while he raised another man's child". I told him that I understand that women had done this before but the fact that HE thought I would do this to him is what bothered me.

I told him the truth, that when I was angry, I had planned to leave and that I even went looking into a lawyer, a co-parenting plan, and a new place to live. He was stunned, that I would leave for something so small. I found that to be a weird kind of irony, that he believed issuing an ultimatum about a paternity test and basically accusing your partner of cheating was something small.

I told him I was really hurt by what he said, that I was still hurt but that if he needs this peace of mind, that we would do it. He asked what about our relationship and I told him, I didn't know.

We did the test 2 days later, got the results back after 3 days. He opened both of them and to the surprise of no one, he's the dad. He was visibly relieved when he read the tests and I don't know why that hurt more.

It's been about 2 weeks from the results and I'm still really hurt. God, I sound so pathetic. I feel pathetic. I thought the results would maybe relieve some of that but it didn't. It's like a switch clicked when he asked for the test and I can't find a way to click it off. I'm pretty sure post partum is playing a part in this because all I do is cry and I wasn't like this before. I have also moved into the spare room, something he was against but I felt bad because apart from when our son is awake, I'm sad all the time. I am looking for a therapist(I don't know how people find therapists they like so quickly btw) and he wants to do couples therapy and he's looking for one. He already has a few appointments booked just to try them out.

He wants to move on, marriage, more kids in the future and go back to where we are and thinks that our relationship is now stronger. While I'm just thinking, our relationship right now is weaker than a person on stilts. I don't know if I would say we are together. The physical affection is gone(I'm not in the right mindset and I don't want him to touch me), we rarely talk about anything but the baby, it's awkward, and I'm trying to find a way back to where we were and I can't see how.

I'm going to try to fix this and try therapy( individual and couples) but I just have this feeling that this is basically a sinking ship. I hope I'm wrong. I want very much to be wrong.

Edit: I really appreciate the kind messages. I know some people are worried but I have a contingency plan in place. I have a lawyer. I have gotten a child care/custody plan worked up during these two weeks. I've told my family who are mostly close by. I have a rental property I own and can go to. Our finances are separate so I'm good there.

I know myself and I know I'm not in the right headspace right now. I'm staying in the spare room. There is no affection. Therapy, individual or couples, will hopefully ...

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Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1ljgxhm/my_boyfriend_asked_for_a_paternity_test_as_soon/

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/dez3b on 2025-06-24 16:59:09.

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Im at this sushi place I really like, but i dont tip and the staff know me by now since I come here pretty often. In the hour I've been here I just barely got the one refill and haven't had a server come by my table in over 20 minutes. The rest of the tables in her section are getting her attention just fine. It's just me getting bad service.

What would you do about this? I like this place, but im not going to tip. It's just really upsetting to me that they're the type to do this to someone over tips. Don't want to stop coming here but I think that's about the only thing I can do.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/GamerGirlLex77 on 2025-06-24 14:58:57.

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Trigger warning: >! infidelity, victim mentality, only 2 braincells!<

Previous BORU

ORIGINAL: My (28F) fiancé (28M) has some huge request in order for him to regain his trust. Is his request too far? by u/ThrowRA_paved3 on r/relationship_advice

June 2023.

We been together 6 years now and during the third year of our relationship I cheated on him with a close family friend. I had started taking him for granted and it became easy to cheat because I didn’t value the relationship.

He broke up with me and we were split for months and the times I was single I realized he is a great bf. I begged for him back and he took me back but I had to promise to never speak to the guy again. I’m happy to say I never cheated since then and haven’t been tempted at all. I understand how great of a partner I have. That being said the guy I cheated was a close family friend and recently I rekindled our friendship behind his back. Nothing romantic. You ever meet someone who is a terrible partner but a great friend? That’s him. I hated the fact that I let a stupid mishap ruin our friendship. My fiancé found out and was angry. I apologized and we talked and he needed space. He sent me a text of his demands to continue the relationship and I copied and pasted it.

His text After doing some thinking I can’t trust you. Whether it was platonic or not this is the second time that I know of where have violated my trust. The hardest part isn’t this but now I have to wonder how many times have you violated my trust or done something behind my back that i just don’t know about? You claim this is it but how can I believe you? I love you and want to work on this relationship but it’s going to require a lot of from you.

We are postponing our wedding indefinitely. When we we first got back together it took 10 months before I felt secure in the relationship again. I have no idea how long it will take to feel secure again.

Eli (I changed the name) will be blocked on everything and you are to never speak to him again. This now includes family events. If you know he will be there do not attend. If you didn’t know and he attends you are to ignore him.

I have unrestricted access to phones, social media, emails, etc. Every password I want to know for any device you have.

No hanging out with male friends alone

You are to be home by 1 if you do go out with your homegirls.

There will be more but these are my demands and they aren’t up for discussion. If you aren’t willing to do it then the relationship is over. Take your time to think about it.

End of text

I called him but he said he’s not arguing with me about it and don’t call him back until I decide what I want to do. I feel that this extremity harsh considering the fact I didn’t cheat this time. Ever since we got back together I never cheated on him.

TL;DR bf has a list of demands to regain his trust even though I didn’t cheat on him.

OOP believes that the punishment is too far: I think I was wrong. But I feel that the punishment doesn’t fit the crime. I made a horrible mistake years ago. Being friends with someone doesn’t = cheating. Even though I was wrong for going behind his back.

OOP is convinced to follow her bf's rules: Okay, I’ll do it. I just needed to make sure he wasn’t going too far but if this is what it takes to rebuild his trust.

When commenters say that OOP is on her way to cheat on her bf again, she claims: You don’t think I’ll follow the his rules? Good thing I don’t let people tell me what I can’t do. I’m going to be laughing when we work through this, get married, and have kids.

UPDATE on conversation with boyfriend

June 2023.

We had a really great conversation and he was vulnerable and said it made him feel like I didn’t value him. He was crying and it really hurt me to see the pain I caused him. He told me that please let’s not go forward with this unless I can promise that I won’t go behind his back again because he can’t go through this pain again. I told him that I promise I will never hurt him again and will always be honest and upfront from him now. We talked about the rules and he said they will be temporary and will be adjusted when we go to couples therapy. Now it’s time to put in the work to repair the relationship. I know it will be a lot of work but I’m prepared .

Thank you to the ones who gave constructive feedback.

TL;DR bf has a list of demands to regain his trust even though I didn’t cheat on him and I’m going to follow them.

UPDATE 10 MONTHS LATER: I have a fiancé but falling in love with a married man

April 17, 2024.

So next month I’ll married this fall. I been with amazing guy and we worked through a lot of issues together. I thought I loved him and I think I still do but not in love with him.

About 3 months ago at my job, we got a new coworker who is very handsome and extremely attractive. I mean I never been so physically attracted to someone in my life. We started to deepen our friendship but romantic feelings came. I repressed mine but to my surprise he confessed his feelings to me as well…. I told him we gotta think about our spouses but our feelings continue to grow.

He told me he stopped being affectionate with his wife because he feels like he is cheating on me when he does that. He only wants to be affectionate with me. I’ve started doing this he same thing and haven’t been intimate with my partner.

The big thing is a lot of people will be hurt when this comes out. He can’t divorce his wife right away because of finances but he will as soon as possible. I have to call off the wedding but I really don’t want to hurt my current fiance.

When asked about her previous infidelity, OOP says: I have cheated before and I’m starting to realize it’s because I didn’t understand being in love. With the guy I’m seeing we both aren’t romantic with our current partners. I don’t want to be with anyone but him. Also he’s going to divorce his wife. We have a plan for when his finances get straight.

How is she justifying this affair? This is completely different. The first time I cheated was because I was selfish, this time it was because I fell in love with someone else. I didn’t choose this, no one picks who they love. This whole experience has taught me how complex love is and that I never been in love before.

This is so hard on OOP: That’s not fair. I didn’t want any of this to happen. It breaks my heart that I’m going to have to call of the wedding but he’s a great guy and I’m certain he will find someone else. I wish I loved him or didn’t fall in love with someone else.

Because life is more complicated than that. I don’t want to hurt him and been thinking oh the best way to tell him. You guys act like this doesn’t hurt for me too. You guys are not being understanding or empathetic.

When commenters tell OOP she's gullible about the married guy, she keeps emphasizing: I’m going to tell my fiancé. But we can’t tell the other guys wife yet. He’s trying to get his finances in order first.

UPDATE: I ended things with my fiancé.

April 18, 2024.

I took everyone’s advice and decided to end things with my fiancé. This was the hardest thing I had to do in my life.

I know you guys think I’m a terrible person but this is an unimaginable situation to find yourself in. I want everyone to know how much this hurt to do. I really wish I didn’t fall in love with someone else, I wish I could make myself fall in love with my fiancé but I can’t. It took me so long to accept this.

I hope you guys can understand that I can’t convey this enough that I care about my ex fiancé. I know this will be best for both of us even though it’s hard right now.

When asked if OOP told her ex-fiance the truth, she says: I didn’t lie. I told him the truth , that I fell in love with someone else. I told him I still care about him . I keep telling you all that I care about him and would never use him as back up. He’s a great guy and there’s a woman out there who will love him and be lucky to have him. There’s no reason we both can’t be happy.

[When commenters tell OOP that there is no way the married man is going to leave his wife for her,...

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Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1ljdcgp/habitual_cheater_cheats_with_a_coworker_and_is/

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Subzer0_264 on 2025-06-23 04:32:21.

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I'm currently living with the consequences of a decision I deeply regret. After divorcing my wife to be with my younger affair partner, reality is hitting harder than I expected.

During the honeymoon phase of our relationship, I got engaged to her. She sold her house and moved in with me as soon as my divorce was finalized. But now that the dust has settled, my feelings have changed—and I can't ignore the red flags.

I recently looked into the success rate of relationships that begin as affairs, and the stats aren’t encouraging. My adult children have completely cut me off, and despite my efforts, I haven’t been able to repair that damage.

To make matters more complicated, my fiancée gave up custody of her teenage son to be with me, and barely spends time with him now. That weighs heavily on me. I’ve also learned her first marriage ended due to infidelity, and her reputation in town is that she has a history of being involved with married men which she denies. While she says I’m the first man who’s treated her well, I can’t say with confidence that I trust her to be faithful.

One of the things that keeps me second-guessing myself is how good she is at making me feel special. She compliments me constantly and goes out of her way to build me up. Part of me appreciates it, but another part wonders if I’m being manipulated.

I know I need to take care of myself and think seriously about the long-term reality here.

Wondering If I should give it more time or cut my losses now?

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/RadicallyAnonyMouse on 2025-06-23 04:06:13.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Odd-Variety-3802 on 2025-06-22 18:57:30.

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I knew better. Or rather, you’d think I knew better. But no. I’m an idiot.

The action: walking on a treadmill (at home, in an idiot, not a monster!)

The consequences: huge blisters on the ball of both feet

The lesson: remains to be seen

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/GamerGirlLex77 on 2025-06-22 14:02:49.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Mr_RavenNation1 on 2025-06-22 05:45:11.

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So there’s a complete misunderstanding on what happened last night and my gf is angry. I can understand why she’s upset but it’s not what it looks like.

So last night I went to a Juneteenth party and my gf was supposed to go with us but she got sick..I was going to stay inside with her but she insisted I go out and have fun. So her sister and I went together and it was supposed to be the 3 of us but it turned out to be just her sister and I.

So we go to the party and there were moments where we were grinding and she sat on my lap but in a platonic manner. Her friend was apparently at this party and she took video / picture and sent to my gf. Which is a gross violation of my privacy and I look at her friend differently now. Either way my gf was heated. I tried to explain to my gf that we didn’t do anything. Even her friend told her she didn’t see us do anything more than that. We didn’t kiss or anything but my gf still finds it inappropriate.

I tried to explain this won’t happen again. If she finds it inappropriate I respect her boundaries. I was more so looking at it from the perspective like when girls dance on each other, it doesn’t mean anything because it’s purely platonic. I was just looking at it the same way because her sister ? Eww no I would never do anything or cheat because I’m not that type of guy. The thought of being with her sister/cheating makes me puke because cheating is disgraceful

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Sebastianlim on 2025-06-21 02:20:44.

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I am a mother of two; Vanessa (25) and Brandon (22). I am not married to their father, but they both have a relationship with him. They went to visit him this past weekend for Father’s day and were set to get to my house on Monday. 

Brandon drove the two of them there and was supposed to drive back. The car he drives was mine originally. I paid it off and did not ask him to buy it from me on the condition that he is responsible with it; he was only paying for gas and maintenance. This was the first car I have ever been able to pay for upfront without taking out a loan, which carries sentimental value, so it is my car as far as I’m concerned.

 A few minutes after they left their dad’s, I got a call from Vanessa saying that they had gotten into an accident. I asked if the car was damaged, and she told me it was totaled. I was immediately furious because Brandon knew how hard I worked for that car and I was very clear that I expected him to care for it. I asked Vanessa to please put her brother on the phone. Instead, their father came on and explained that they were in the emergency room and that our son was receiving treatment.

My ex then started to berate me for being more concerned about the property than about the kids and for getting angry at our son without knowing the situation, but in my defense, I hadn’t realized that he was injured. To be clear, Brandon will be fine and the other driver was completely unharmed, but they are all still furious with me. I had assumed that if his injuries were serious that it would have been the first thing they told me, but that isn’t a good enough explanation for them. Its been a few days now and both kids are still with their father and won't come stay with me. AITA?

UPDATE: First of all, to be very clear, I do not care about the car more than I care about my children. It was a moment of heightened emotion and I spoke before thinking. I can concede that it was insensitive. To be clear again, my son has a concussion and a few broken ribs but will be fine. The car is unsalvageable, and yes, it is insured, but that will not replace the sentimental value, but it's fine. Now, I called my children to apologize and explain that I would not have asked about the car first had I known that they were in an ER. Vanessa admitted that she should have told me that first but that she was very stressed at the time. I was not able to get far into the conversation when their father came in with some choice words for me, and the call ended shortly after. I believe he may be manipulating the kids into not wanting to talk to me or come over, but they are adults and that is their prerogative. My plan is to let it play out.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Mr_RavenNation1 on 2025-06-20 16:35:25.

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Please keep an open mind while reading this because I am not fully innocent here. So my gf and I have been together for 3 years and for some periods in our relationship I was unfaithful. Last year my friend Nadia and I hooked up and my brother told on me. (Unrelated but he’s dead to me now, I skipped his wedding and everything)

My gf Amina understandably took this really hard but we both worked hard to figure out how I can earn her trust back. We had to both make some compromises as she wanted me to cut off my friend Nadia which I couldn’t do. We came to a compromise I could only hang with her in a group setting and I can’t be the only male hanging with my female friends. It changed the dynamic of a lot my friendships but that was the consequence of my actions.

I have done my part and upheld my in out the bargain but she’s moving the goal post. One of the males Brian in our group is having a trip for his birthday. Nadia is also Brian’s friend and our friend group has male and females. There will be 4 males and 3 females, so more men than women.

My gf is completely objecting and saying I can’t go on trips with Nadia even as a group. But she never said that before, I will make sure that I’m not alone with her and I keep telling Amina that but she won’t listen

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/bandit0314 on 2025-06-20 01:08:28.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/coffeesdone7 on 2025-06-19 19:14:57.

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It's been three weeks since my wife told me she wants a divorce. I'm still reeling from it. I know I'm going to come across badly here. I stepped outside of my marriage and it is no one else's fault but mine. I have no excuse for cheating on my wife. I work in the Crown Attorney's Office. It's a busy and stressful job and I crossed the line with another attorney. The long hours and the stressful environment is something we both deal with and I let my judgement lapse. She's married with children too and neither of us have any excuse. I make no excuses for what I did. I watched my brother go through a divorce a few years ago but I never thought I'd be here. I regret hurting my wife and I don't blame her for leaving. Three weeks ago she told me she knew about the affair. The next day she moved out. She had started doing Instacart and Uber Eats when I was at work. She saved up money. She's been taking free online classes through the adult education centre. She wants to start night school to get a degree. She went out and got a job. After she got the job she found an apartment. We have an 18 month old and a three year old. After she got the job she found a daycare for them.

Truth be told I was blindsided when she told me she was leaving. I don't know how she found out about the affair but apparently she's known for almost a year. I had no idea she knew or that she was getting things in order to leave me. She didn't act any different. She was still the same warm and bright person. She didn't change her behaviour. She didn't act distant or cold. She was the same loving wife that she always was. I know I made a huge mistake with the affair. My wife didn't tell anyone else about my affair either. She only told people after she moved out. After my wife got a job she told her sister she was leaving me but not why. Her sister co-signed for my wife's apartment. But even then she didn't tell her sister any details until after she moved out. My wife said she kept everything to herself because she didn't want anyone to confront me or talk to me about until she had everything in order to leave. Even her sister only found out less than a month before my wife moved out and even then it was only that my wife was leaving me and not why. I saw her sister a couple of times before my wife left but just like my wife she didn't give anything away. I'm still in shock that my wife didn't act any different or give away what she was doing. I never knew my wife could get a job or was talking online classes or planning to leave.

My wife told my colleague's husband about the affair. I never really thought about what would happen if we were caught. I guess I thought my wife and I would try marriage counselling. I needed to get this out. I've already had enough of my life made public. I know I only have myself to blame. My wife will only talk to me about our kids. We have agreed to share time with them for now. Shared 50/50 custody is the norm where we live and my wife says she won't contest that in the divorce. But she'll only talk to me about the kids, not about anything else. The house feels empty without her. It's strange and wrong. I know I was wrong and I made the worst mistake of my life. I watched my brother go through a divorce and I never thought I would too. It still feels strange to me. My wife had been living somewhere else for three weeks. My wife has had a job for three weeks. I'm going to be divorced. Everyone is angry at me for the affair and I don't even blame them.

You don't have to tell me I'm wrong because I already know. This is the biggest regret of my life.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Sebastianlim on 2025-06-17 23:01:00.

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My wife is a nurse, and she works long hours; therefore, I handle everything in the household.She has been picking up more shifts recently because the hospital is understaffed. I am the one doing the chores, taking care of the kids, making food, and I also work. It's all me. She has one chore, and that is when she comes home, she needs to do the dishes

The kids are usually asleep by the time she gets home, so I usually make dinner for the kids and wait until she gets home to reheat the food for her. The main issue is that she has not been cleaning the dishes. I have talked to her multiple times, but nothing has changed. She gets home, eats, and goes right to bed. She always claims she is too tired after her shift to do the dishes, and when I suggest she does them in the morning, she claims there is not enough time before she needs to get to work.

It is extremely frustrating to wake up and they are not done, that leads to me having to do the dishes at some point. We talking about this agin last Saturday and she has not done the dishes since (four days of not doing them) and I have not done them either. I have ran out of dishes and served dinner to the kids on paper plates tongiht. She got home after the kids were asleep and I handed her a dirty plate to eat off of.

I told her that she can use that to reheat the food. We was not happy and we got into an agrument. She called me a dick for handing her a dirty plate to eat off of and that I was home so I would have cleaned some dishes. I pointed out that this is her job and I am not going it. That if she wont clean the dishes than she can eat off a dirty plate. She is calling me a jerk, I told my sister of the situation and she said I am being petty. I dont think I am

Edit: because people have continued to ask. I work in construction 40-50 hours. She works in the hospital 36-60 ( highly dependent on what is happening at the hospital, if she picks up more shifts or not, 36 is her normal and she depending on the week if she grabs 1-2 extra shifts)

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Cryptid-Fan on 2025-06-17 17:43:01.

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https://www.nj.com/education/2025/06/nj-dad-banned-from-sons-graduation-following-football-team-dispute.html

An Ocean County father says he has been barred from attending his son’s high school graduation ceremony this week following a lengthy dispute that began with a disagreement over the student’s role on the football team.

Point Pleasant Borough’s school superintendent defended the district’s decision, saying the father was banned due to “multiple instances of inappropriate conduct” toward multiple staff members.

Michael Ollendorf said he will comply with the ban, but he is planning to watch Point Pleasant Borough High School’s outdoor graduation ceremony from the public sidewalk or street on Wednesday to see his son get his diploma.

Ollendorf also said he had no involvement with a social media post saying there will be a protest at the ceremony over his absence.

“I don’t condone it. I don’t want the graduation ruined for anyone, including my son,” Ollendorf told NJ Advance Media.

Ollendorf was barred from school district property by Point Pleasant Superintendent Adam L. Angelozzi following a series of disputes dating back to 2023 centering on his son’s playing time on the football team, according to Point Pleasant Patch.

In April, Ollendorf requested an exception to the ban so he could attend his son’s graduation. But, the superintendent declined to grant it, saying in a letter “you will not be permitted to be present on school property for the graduation ceremony.”

When asked to comment, Angelozzi sent NJ Advance Media a statement saying the district typically does not comment on matters involving student’s families and “cannot provide a full accounting of what occurred.”

“However, without going into specifics, the District’s decision in this instance was based on multiple instances of inappropriate conduct over a period of time directed towards and against multiple staff members,” Angelozzi wrote.

“The District remains committed to following all applicable laws, policies, and regulations in its decisions and actions, as we have done in this matter. The safety and well-being of our students and staff remain our top priorities,” Angelozzi wrote.

A police report shows Ollendorf was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct following the fourth game of the 2023-24 football season after he became irate and started yelling and cursing at the football coach and other school officials, Point Pleasant Patch reported.

He later pleaded guilty to disturbing the peace, which led to his ban from school grounds, the news outlet reported.

School superintendents in New Jersey do not always have the final say on who attends graduations.

Anyone banned from attending a public high school graduation ceremony has the option of appealing to the state’s education commissioner, who can issue a ruling after a hearing by an administrative law judge, state Department of Education spokesperson Mike Yaple said.

However, Ollendorf said he decided not to appeal.

“I can’t find an attorney that will go up against the school,” he said.

Ollendorf said he is contemplating watching the graduation ceremony while standing in the back of a pickup truck on the street.

“I’m going to do the best I can,” he said.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/GamerGirlLex77 on 2025-06-17 16:09:08.

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I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/whoevenisthat5. He posted in r/AmItheAsshole.

I changed letters to names for readability

Mood Spoiler: Good dad

Original Post: July 9, 2023

I (45m) have a daughter (Polly) from a previous relationship. I divorced my ex wife on good terms and we share 50/50 custody of Polly. She is now 11. After I divorced my ex wife I met my now fiancé (Sharon). Sharon and my daughter got along very well . After 5 years in my relationship with Sharon I proposed.

Sharon was super excited and wanted to start planning right away. She looked at venues and started asking her friends to be her bridesmaids. She then told me she wanted her niece to be a flower girl. Which I had no problem with, but I said I also wanted Polly to be a flower girl. Sharon looked at my funny and then said that she didn’t think that Polly would “fit the part”

I got angry and told Sharon that my daughter would be in our wedding. Sharon started to become upset and said that the girls in the wedding were up to her and Polly wouldn’t be one of them. I told Sharon that if Polly wasn’t in the wedding then there might not be a wedding. I stormed out and took Polly to get ice cream.

Polly knows we are getting married and told me she thinks she will look pretty I whatever dress Sharon decides she should wear this broke my heart and I decided to text Sharon. I told her I would be staying at a friends to think this over. My MIL texted me saying I and over reacting and that my daughter doesn’t have to be in my wedding and I was and ass for saying that I would cancel.

So did I take it to far saying I will cancel? Am I overreacting or just being a good dad?

EDIT: Thank everyone for the comments and suggestions I will post an update in the near future!

Relevant Comments:

Did you propose alternatives to the flower girl position?

"I said I wanted her in the wedding in some shape or form. I wanted her to be a part of our day and not sitting with the guests while we walked down the isle. Fiancé said it would be best if she just sat with my parents"

"Many have suggested a junior bridesmaid but my fiancée still declines"

"I did tell my fiancée she will be in the wedding and if that means she has to be a groomsmen than so be it. Fiancée blew up saying she’s not a boy and my side is only for boys, she denied my request to have a father daughter dance with Polly so this is why i’m rethinking the whole wedding. Sharon and I are going to talk tonight and hopefully she will give me a full reasoning"

Has Polly ever said anything about Sharon treating her poorly?

"Polly has never voiced any concerns about Sharon treating her badly. I have never seen anything happen between them so this was very out of the blue"

"Surprisingly Sharon has never had a issue with Polly until wedding talk. The two have always been super close so her reaction shocked me for sure. I would have never popped the question if Polly wasn’t comfortable! I totally understand where you are coming from"

"I do think it’s crazy that I haven’t seen any signs. I’ve talked to Polly and told her to tell me if anything has ever happened Polly can’t recall a single time Sharon was mean to her"

Could race, weight or disability be a factor in this?

"Yes I made this post late last night and am just now reaching all the comments. My daughter is not disabled. She is on the average weight scale for an 11 year old and all of us in the situation are white"

OOP also clarifies that his fiancée is 39 years old.

Small Update in Comments (Same Day)

"Talked to her mom this morning because I wanted Polly to start with her until this was figured out. Her mom said she hopes it goes well and told me I could stay with her and Polly if need be. She said Polly always comes home with nothing negative to say, so we aren’t sure where this came from"

OOP is voted NTA

Update Post: July 9, 2023 (15 hours later)

Hey Reddit! Thank everyone for all the kind words and suggestions. To answer a few questions, my daughter is not disabled, chubby, or having an awkward faze (braces/glasses). I did ask if Polly could be a groomsman, Sharon immediately shot me down. Sharon is 39, she is the same race as my daughter, this is her first marriage. I tried to answer and many comments as possible!

I came home to talk to Sharon today. When I pulled in our driveway, my MIL was sitting there in her car. I got out and went inside trying to avoid talking to MIL. Sharon was sitting at the kitchen table and I joined her. She sat in silence so I asked the first question, why does Polly not fit the part, and why don’t you want her in the wedding at all? Her answer full on shocked me.

She quietly said, I was hoping that after the wedding you could become a holiday visit only dad, I didn’t want her in the wedding so she wouldn’t be in the photos around the house since she wasn’t going to be around much. I kept my cool, calmly took her hand, and pulled my engagement ring off.

Her eyes started to tear up, she said we shouldn’t end the marriage over this and that she can change. I told her the damage was already done. I told her I wanted her things moved out by next week and that she could come get them when my daughter wasn’t home. (The house is in my name and I paid for it, I was allowing her to get her furniture that she paid for).

She stormed out and MIL came knocking on the door saying I was being unreasonable. I couldn’t imagine only seeing my daughter 3 or 4 times a year. The fact that Sharon wanted me to give up part of my custody blew me away. I’m sitting on my couch just in shock. Our honeymoon was supposed to be in Hawaii. Looks like me and Polly will be going instead.

I will update again if anything happens.

Relevant Comments:

People are once again skeptical that there was no bad behavior by Sharon toward Polly in the past:

"I have truly never noticed a thing. Polly has never had anything negative about Sharon and asked her mom earlier today when she will get to see her again."

(Editor's Note- sorry, I forgot to fix the spelling of fiancée in the title.)

Editor's note: Final BORU post with updates here

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/chocobomog on 2025-06-17 13:11:05.

Original Title: OOP and his fiancée of 7 years are both best friends with his ex gf. When OOP adamantly refuses to simply meet his ex gf's new boyfriend, both women realize OOP is still obsessed with his ex and he loses everything

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I am not The OOP, OOP is u/dontwannameethim

I [37 M] with my ex [32F] (together 5, broken up 10,) I don't want to meet her boyfriend, but I want us to remain friends. She's gotten my fiancee[33F] of 7 years upset at me, too.

Original Post July 14, 2017

My ex girlfriend Kelly and I broke up extremely amicably. She admitted she didn't feel any romantic attraction to be anymore, wanted to focus on school, but I was her best friend. I felt the same exact way. We were best friends even after. She even introduced me to her best friend, Amanda, who I have been with since we met.

We did everything together. Kelly had never really been interested in guys because of her school work, but she graduated, got a job, made great career advancements... and now she's looking to settle down and she got a boyfriend! They've been together about 6 months and are discussing marriage.

She invited us to Friday night game night this week. We all get together and she told Amanda he would be there and he'd probably be moving in when his lease ends... which makes me not want to go over anymore.

So, I told Kelly I didn't want to go if he is, and she got extremely hurt, told me that it wasn't fair because she thought we were friends, and hasn't spoken to me but has also asked Amanda to refrain from texting her until she's ready because she needs some space to process and she's under stress at work.

Game night is still going, Kelly invited the rest of our group as normal. Amanda is barely speaking to me and called me a hypocrite and will go without me if she's asked. Kelly chose to be my friend, and she was already Amanda's... I don't see why I have to choose to be friends with someone else just to be friends with Kelly?

My fiancee said that he's been around 6 months and they are talking of marriage and if I wanted to stay her friend, it'd mean sometimes interracting. Kelly doesn't do anything lightly, so this is very serious.

But I don't really care to meet him, but Kelly is still one of my closest friends. She'd be there at 3 am if there was an emergency.

TL:DR; My friend/ex has a new man. I don't want to meet him, now she's shutting me and her best friend (my fiancee) out. Is there any way to salvage this? Do I actually have to meet him?

RELEVANT COMMENTS

stophittingthyself

Wow dude, you've been with your fiancée 7 years but you're still not over your ex? That's extremely insulting to fiancée and I'm surprised she's not more angry.

I'm guessing the only reason the friendship has lasted this long is because Kelly was single. It's a shame the ex didn't get a boyfriend sooner so your girlfriend could have seen that you're intentions towards Kelly aren't as platonic as they should be.

As for advice - stop thinking you are entitled to Kelly in any way. Get over her and your own selfish desires.

OOP

I am over Kelly. I just don't really care about him from what I've heard of him.

~

"She's gotten my fiance of 7 years upset at me, too."

Uh, no. You have upset your fiance of seven years, because apparently you don't understand that by not wanting to meet your friend Kelly's fiance, you're basically declaring that you still have feelings for Kelly.

"But I don't really care to meet him, but Kelly is still one of my closest friends. She'd be there at 3 am if there was an emergency."

Sounds to me like you want Kelly all to yourself, a backup so to speak, for when Amanda can't scratch whatever itch you have.

You broke up with Kelly. You don't get a say in her life any more. Nobody is asking you to be super besties with this guy, but at the very least, act cordial. If I were you, I would apologize to your fiance and seriously examine why you feel like you can't accept Kelly having a serious boyfriend.

OOP

There were no feelings left. I just don't want some asshole interfering in the cool stuff we all do together.

~

[deleted]

I agree with others that it feels weird you won't even meet Kelly's BF. I agree with you that you shouldn't have to be friends with someone else to be friends with her, but you literally won't even go over to her house if her BF is there? Meeting the dude doesn't mean you have to be BFFs. Do you still have feelings for Kelly or something? Did you ever have a chance to actually get over her? It sounds like y'all went right from dating to being BFFs, which didn't allow for any time alone to work through feelings

OOP

There were no feelings left. I still don't have any. I just don't want some dickbag mucking up our social time.

Update Sept 11, 2017 (2 months later)

I got (rightfully) torn apart in my last thread. I was being stupid about it, and it actually cost me everything. I kept refusing to meet him for another week or so.

Amanda and Kelly didn't buy that I had no more feelings for Kelly. Amanda then felt like she was "a placeholder" for when Kelly was single. Amanda and I got into a huge argument about it, and I told her that if Kelly meant more to her than I do, she was free to go over to Kelly's any time. We went to separate rooms and went to sleep. She was gone when I woke up for work, so I left her a note apologizing, and wanting to talk when I came home.

I returned home from work to find that Amanda had moved out and in with Kelly who had just finished closing on a new place.

After some deep introspection, I realized I liked the attention both girls lavished on me and I enjoyed being the center of attention. The new boyfriend would've taken that way.

None if it matters now. Amanda talked to me once after she left, and that was pretty much to tell me that she's happier without me. Kelly gave her a good rental price on the mother-in-law suite that came attached with the house. She has no desire to come back.

I have been cut from the gaming groups we were in minus one or two people. I know they still go and host it because they had a big housewarming game night and my friends were tagged in it.

I feel lost.

tl;dr: I was a selfish jerk and now I've lost my best friend and my fiance.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/J_S_M_K on 2025-06-17 11:05:26.

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This is a New Update on a story previously shared here. New Updates will be marked with 🔴🔴🔴 if you want to skip ahead.

Originally posted by u/ToGayForSIL97 in r/askgaybros on April 26, '22 and updated on June 15, '22, Jan 8, '23, Sept 19, '23

 

Trigger Warning: Homophobia, Family Estrangement

 

AITA for Hooking Up with New SIL’s Brother?

Original

April 26, '22

Throwaway account because people know my main. Not posting on AITA because of space limitations.

I (27M - USA, East Coast) recently attended my brother’s wedding. He really wanted me there even though I can stand his wife who openly hates gay people. I stopped going to a lot of family events where she is going to be around because she makes all sort of loud complaints about me, mainly my going to hell because I am gay. She also hates I’m an atheist who knows more about the bible than her. Anyway, to cut to the chase...

I got invited to the wedding with no Plus One over, from what my mom said, objections by my soon to be SIL. She thought it would be disgraceful I made an appearance. Believe me when I say I questioned my brother extensively about why he is marrying this POS, and he simply said he’s in love with her. I warned him this marriage could ruin our relationship as brothers. He said he accepts the risks.

So, I went to the wedding – alone – prepared to enjoy the wedding and reception. I noticed this really cute guy sitting on the bride’s side of the church, and again at the reception. I see he did not bring a date. Before I could build up the nerve to go talk to him, he wandered over to my table and sits down. He then, without any prompting, begins to talk about his nightmare sister. Honest to Jupiter he really is new SIL's brother. He also didn't get a Plus One. He asked me, and he knew I was the groom’s brother, why brother married his sister. We shared a few laughs about the train wreck this marriage will become. Under the table his foot began to rub against my leg.

We spent the evening dancing, talking and laughing. Then he asked if I wanted to go to his apartment. I did and a lot of really things happened. I don’t know how SIL found out, but she exploded on her FB account how I corrupted her brother. My brother is mad at me for sleeping with this guy on his wedding night.

AITA for sleeping with her brother on her wedding night?

ETA: This really is about whether I was the asshole for hooking up with her brother after the reception because 1) I sort of knew it would get back to them and 2) I knew it would upset my brother. The day was supposed to be about them, even if the bride is an insufferable wench. I did not want to add bad memories to my brother's day. I love him too much for that.

ETA #2: Have to go back to work now (11:15 AM EDT).

ETA #3: Came back to answer a few questions and express my thanks to this community.

1. The FB post. I got some interesting advice from someone I reached out to get the post. Said to me: "This will allow people to search for her post and give her shit. You'll make it worse than it is if you put the FB screenshot anywhere. Your brother will be super pissed."

• I can't disagree with that. I am holding off from posting. (Plus, I never got a screenshot from anyone.)

2. I never met her brother before this, and I did not know he was gay. I knew she had a brother. That was it because I wanted to know nothing about her. It wasn't until he sat down and started chatting with me that I even got an inkling he was related to her.

3. We're friends at most. This will likely never evolve into a romantic relationship. It wasn't a hate fuck against his sister or any sort of revenge sex. We enjoyed each other's company, we were both horny, and we both wanted to get laid. Never once thought of her or my brother (ew) and what they would think.

4. This whole episode, including this Reddit post, forced me to acknowledge I need to have a serious talk with my brother. I love him, but he is condoning mental and verbal abuse against me by proxy through his now wife. I did talk to my parents last night about this whole situation, and they are now worried my sibling relationship will get fractured beyond repair. I reminded them my brother decided to marry this woman even after she started taking shots at me. That set them back on their heels.

5. I am incredibly grateful to r/askgaybros for their advice, humor, insight, skepticism, and a load of brilliant ideas. You gave me WAY too much to think about, and I see now I desperately need that.

6. Adios! This user name will now be orphaned, but I am preserving then entire thread in a day or two.

 

First Update - 2 months later

June 15, '22

In the last almost seven or so weeks these things happened.

1. Talked to my brother about a week after the original post to give myself time to think. I laid out several of the points expressed in the comments. He said its now his responsibility to support his wife even when she is mostly wrong. I said I was sorry to hear that, and informed him I am going LC (actually NC) with him. It upset him, especially when I would not respond to his texts or requests. I told him already he told me all I need to know.

2. My parents are really upset about this rift between me and my brother. I asked if they support his wife verbally attacking me, and they said no. I asked if it was fair people expected me to put up with it. They said no. I asked why my brother didn’t defend me against her attacks. They said nothing. I asked why they didn’t defend me. Mom cried and dad said we needed to talk about this later. Still waiting for the talk.

3. Mother’s Day included only me and my brother. SIL spent it with her mother. It was a tense – read TENSE – day. Brother and I hardly spoke. I made direct eye contact with him all day, he could not look me in the face for long. Parents tiptoed around the issue, but brother and I made an effort to be civil and shower mom with love. Brother looked really upset when he left after 4 hours to go get his wife and see his mother-in-law. I heard they planned on visiting my mom later in the evening after I left.

4. Memorial Day I did not show at my parents since brother and sister-in-law were going to be there. Mom asked for my coleslaw recipe, and I just ignored the request. Went to the house of a family friend (who happen to side with me on this), and they loved my coleslaw and Jell-O fruit salad (no, it is not a 1950s monstrosity). Parents were really upset I went there or anywhere instead of their house. I told them I didn’t go because we still needed to talk. Waiting to see what effect that produces.

5. Showed K (SIL’s brother) the post in Reddit after showing my brother. We sat and looked it over together. He got quite a kick out of a number of the suggestions. Then K asked why I thought we would not be romantically compatible. I explained the big one happened to be about religion. I’m an atheist and he’s a fairly devout christian. K then hit me with this line, and it stunned me:“I don’t judge people on their religion. I judge people on how the act and treat others. I know a lot of non-religious people who are better human beings that half the people who go to my church.”

As result we’ve become closer friends (yes, with a lot of benefits… it was just too damn good the first time), but refrained from discussing entering into any formal relationship. We both agreed to just let the situation float along and see where we each are in three or four months. We have a good time together, and we are going to my family’s 4th of July party together… because They will be there.

6. We got matching mugs (after a Redditor suggestion). His says “I went to my sister’s wedding, and all I got was fucked.” Date at the bottom. Mine says the same with brother replacing sister.

7. K learned sister is pissed off because a number of the reception photos, some of her favorites, contain he and I leading our fun lives in the background She tried to get them airbrushed or edited, but all the people she talked to said it would look like garbage. She eliminated all but one of the photos from the album. One of the comments in the post predicted this, so kudos to that Redditor.

8. Father's Day is this Sunday, and I think it's going to be a repeat of Mother's Day. This will be hard on my dad since he always thought my brother and I would always be best friends. Brother and me usually splurge together for my dad, but this year I am going solo on the gift. I am pretty certain this will piss off my brother, but I haven't heard from him regarding the gift.

Not a lot else to report. Again, HUGE thanks to this community for helping me better understand the dynamics at work. I lost a lot of respect (almost all) for my brother in our subsequent talks. SIL likes to trash talk both me and K (her brother) to anyone who will listen, and most people are telling her to get over it. Brother and SIL are looking to buy a house, but lack funds. Normally, my brother could turn to me for help, but that is not going to happen.

 

[2nd Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/askgaybros/comments/vuqjbl/update_update_aita_for_hooking_up_with_new_si...

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Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1ldk8wi/oops_brother_marries_a_homophobe_knowing_oop_is/

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/GamerGirlLex77 on 2025-06-17 00:11:34.

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Hello everyone,

First of all, thank you for contributing to this sub and subscribing. We appreciate your contributions very much. However, it's time for my periodic reminder that we do not allow posts or comments on inflammatory, political and controversial subjects or people.

Recent world events have caused us to get another wave of this content. Thankfully, it's far less than we've gotten before. I suspect it's mostly bots but I figured an update might as well be posted. I want to extend an extra thank you to those of you who have read my repeated posts about this subject and provided feedback! Please also excuse any atrocious grammatical errors, punctuation mistakes or misspellings on my part.

In this updated post I'm going to provide the reasons why we don't allow this content and what kind of things count under this rule. I'll also include a list of the consequences for breaking it. Lastly, our appeals process will be detailed below the consequences. I added titles this time to allow for easier access to the information you want if this is way tl;dr for you.

Why We Don't Allow the Content

We used to allow posts that included politics and controversial issues/people. The comments were a nightmare to put it mildly. People were constantly fighting, insulting each other and generally being verbally abusive. People flagrantly broke our rules and it spilled into modmail when we took comments down and banned people. We were trending in the US at one point so I’m sure you can imagine the level of harassment and verbal abuse that ensued on these posts. The last straw was when we ended up having to ban 25 people in just one post.

We want anyone to be able to come to this sub for a laugh and that can't happen if we continue to allow this kind of content. At the end of the day, there are plenty of subs that do allow it and we don't need to be one of them.

What Counts Under this Rule

Posts or comments that bring up politicians, world events (example: current wars) or political parties are the most obvious things that break this rule. Posts or comments about controversial subjects (examples: abortion, voting a certain way or other hot button issues) or people (examples: Elon Musk, Andrew Tate) break this rule, too. We don't allow posts or comments deliberately meant to inflame people in order to cause fights such as hateful or bigoted remarks on your part. Issues that cannot be divorced from politics (examples: taxes, protests, vaccines, etc.) will also be taken down. Posts and comments that vaguely mention these kind of issues will just be removed without any danger of a ban.

Here are some more examples: I've crossposted content about consequences from "unschooling" before. Talking about the public school system and homeschooling was fine. Some comments crossed the line when people brought politicians into it. We also had to remove a picture of someone who got fired for making a Nazi salute a little while ago. Because two prominent political figures had very publicly made the gesture and were encouraging others to do it, it was an issue that couldn't be divorced from politics at the time. The fact that they made the gesture was all over the news and social media. It took less than 30 minutes for the comments to bring up said political figures. If it's not a super obvious issue you can't divorce from politics, you're in no danger of a ban, though.

When in doubt, please feel free to ask. You can contact us through modmail with any questions. I'm also pretty responsive to DMs and don't mind receiving questions that way if you want to use that as a quicker option to check content. Please don't DM the other mods without their consent, though. Anyone doing so may be banned at the discretion of the moderator you contacted in DMs.

Oh No, Here Are the Consequences!

• People who post something blatantly political, inflammatory or controversial will receive a warning ban of 3 days and then a permanent ban if it continues. The temporary ban will be extended to 5-7 days if your post broke 3 or more rules.
• Hateful or bigoted posts or comments will always be a permanent ban. Keep your racist, xenophobic, transphobic, homophobic, ableist, ageist and sexist opinions off this sub. Use of slurs is also a permanent ban. There will be no appeal for breaking this one.
• People commenting in good faith on political or controversial topic posts that we haven’t been able to take down quickly enough will receive a comment removal message letting you know we don't allow the content if you are remaining civil. We’re just trying to discourage participation in these posts. You will not be in danger of a ban.
• People making inflammatory or verbally abusive comments on posts that break this rule that we haven’t been able to take down quickly enough will get a temporary ban of 3 days for the first removal of content with the second time becoming permanent.
• Bringing up politics or controversial subjects/people on posts that we allow will be a warning for the first time. Subsequent comments of this nature will result in a temporary ban which will become permanent if it continues.
• If you have a post or comment taken down for breaking this rule and you repost it or make a post insulting us about it, it's a permanent ban with no appeal.

How to Appeal

Temporary bans are negotiable! The point of issuing one is to get you to read the rules. If you confirm you have done so in modmail, we'll lift the ban. Permanent bans can be appealed after 30 days unless the content was hateful or bigoted. We have zero tolerance for that.

Being rude or abusive to us in modmail will also get you banned. The irony of throwing a tantrum after getting consequences for breaking our rules on this of all subs is not lost on us. Don't become the content here.

In Closing

This post may be updated over time to include further examples, correct mistakes or reflect feedback. If you have any feedback or suggestions, please contact us through modmail. If you want a sub that features content centered on political consequences, we'd like to recommend r/LeopardsAteMyFace.

Thank you again for your time and contributions!

Updates

None yet

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Fun-Needleworker9590 on 2025-06-16 12:00:14.

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When My (19m) sister (26) still lived at home a while ago she likes to do this thing where she asks you to watch her daughter for "2 minutes" while she runs to the bathroom, so she goes and then time keeps ticking away and 2 minutes turns into 15 minutes and she still isn't back. And you wonder what's taking her so long so you go and bang on the door and then she finally comes out 20 minutes after she left. So basically she just uses it as an excuse when she's fed up of being with her kid

I knew what she's doing when she asks for this so I always say no, but she asked me this time and I said yeah because I wasn't doing anything anyway, but I did have to leave in 10-15 minutes and I told her that and she said she wouldn't be that long. I took for her word for it and just went and amused her daughter (2) for the time being.

It was getting closer to the time I had to leave at and she still wasn't out so I messaged her and she said she would be 1 minute. A minute passed and she still wasn't out so I went up to the door and told her I had to go and I got no response, presumably because she was wearing NC headphones, either that or she was ignoring me lol. didn't hav time to wait so I went back and told my niece to go and get her mom and I just left, and I could hear her crying and running after me as I was walking out the door.

When I got back my sister was pissed and asked what was wrong with me and why would I just "abandon" her while she was crying like that and I just said I had to go and I did tell her I had to be gone by a certain time. I felt a bit bad but at the same time she's not my child..

ETA: sorry I didn’t realize reposting my own content was a crime. I am not stealing anything, I am not karma farming, I just thought this was a fun story that belonged on this sub.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/polandreh on 2025-06-16 11:00:12.

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Okay, I know the title sounds bad, but for some context I (36F) have twins with my ex (42M), a girl, Olivia, and a boy, Enzo, who are now sixteen years old.

My ex is one hell of an asshole. We ended our relationship because he had cheated on me while I was pregnant, and not happy with that, he never paid child support and was absent from their lives most of the time, only coming back once or twice during the year to play the fun dad, but well, of course his absence affected my kids a lot.

Anyway, when Olivia and Enzo were a year old, I reconnected with an ex from highschool Ian (36M), and we started dating. The main reason we had broken up is that I wanted kids in the future and he wasn't sure, and since two seemed more than enough for me, that problem was out of the way. Ian wasn't involved at first with Olivia and Enzo, but after we moved in together over two years later, he begin to help me with them without me having to ask, which I was really grateful for, and they eventually formed a bond. We got married, and Olivia and Enzo called Ian "dad" for as long as I can remember, although they always knew he wasn't their biological father.

Ian and I make the same amount of money, and we live in a house I inherited from my father, and Ian only earns a bit less than me, there's not a big difference.

With time, my ex went from showing up once or twice a year to not showing up at all for a couple of years, which is when their bond became even stronger, and Ian told me he wanted to adopt them because he saw them as his own kids, and he truly felt like their father. However, that never actually happen because it was a legal mess in our country we didn't want to get into.

Now, last year and out of the blue, my ex showed up again, claiming to be a different man now and wanting to rekindle their relationship. They fell for his act despite Ian and I warning them about not trusting him completely, which is okay I guess, they have a right to want a relationship with him.

The problem started when they began to ignore Ian, it's like they were treating him like a replacement they no longer needed, and of course my husband noticed this. One night, it escalated because they were having a really dumb fight that started because Enzo had not cleaned the kitchen after cooking, and we have this important rule in the house that pretty much means that each one is usually responsible for cleaning their own mess, and well, Ian just went inside their room to tell him he needed to clean, and Enzo begin to yell at him, Olivia joined in and they were telling him how exhausted they were about Ian treating them as if he were their real father, that they had a father and he shouldn't act like one just because he didn't have kids of their own. I remember Ian just left the house that night without saying a word, and I told Olivia and Enzo they had made the wrong choice treating Ian like this, and when their "real dad" leaves again, I didn't want to see them crawling back to the one who actually took care of them and was always there.

Ian came back the next day, and he was incredibly upset. I did my best to comfort him, and he told me he felt disrespected and that there was no coming back from this. It was hard to hear, but I told him that if he no longer wanted to be involved in the twins lives, I wouldn't be angry at him. He cried a lot that night, and cried himself to sleep during the next days. It was awful to see him like this and I couldn't do anything but try to comfort him. I tried to talk to my kids, to tell them they really needed to apologize, but they refused completely, saying they had a dad and didn't need them, and it made me question what kind of kids I was raising.

As predicted, from one day to the other, left the city and never called Olivia or Enzo again. When they realized what had happened, they were devastated. I was there for them, but it shocked me how they wanted to pretend everything was okay between them and Ian, calling him dad again. Ian simply told them he was not their dad and would clearly never be.

This has been going on for a while. They were thinking Ian would change his mind eventually and forgive them, but that has not happened. As a last card, they came to me and told me to speak to Ian, and I told them we had talked many times, and it was clear Ian would no longer be involved in their lives, which is what they wanted anyway, so I don't know what the problem was. They were shock with my response, and kept trying to convince me, but I made clear that my husband is a human with feelings, not a wallet and a replacement for the pathetic man they liked to call "real dad", and that if they thought they could disrespect people that care for them without any consequence, then they were very, very wrong. I told them there was no going back from this, that things would not be the same and they had themselves to blame for that. They shouldn't have taken for granted a person that was always there for them.

They went crying to my mom after that, and she told me she understood why I was upset with them, but couldn't side with my husband in this, that they are kids that made a mistake a second chance, and I should try to solve things. And to be honest, I don't think I can. I love my kids and they will always be my priority, and this has not changed my love for them, but I also love my husband, and he's such a great man who stepped up when he didn't have an obligation and was such a support for me and for the kids. He was the father they never had for so long, and even if I try, I don't think I'm even close to know the amount of pain that can cause you to have the kids that you raised as your own for years to tell you you're not their real dad and to treat you as literal trash.

As much as I want them to make up, I know my husband is so hurt and they caused that over what? A man they had seen barely like seven times in their whole life? Ian is now convinced that Enzo and Olivia don't love him and only saw him as a replacement, and he thinks that if their "real dad" ever shows up again, they would treat him like crap again, and well, although I don't think my kids would do that, I know he has every right to feel that way, and if Ian no longer feels comfortable involved on my kids life, then I don't think I can contradict him. They just broke the relationship.

Ian is usually a pretty reasonable man, and he has thought a lot about this, so I know that he's sure about his choice. I know he has been crushed with this, and now he wants us to have a kid, but I have told him no because I believe he just wants to replace Olivia and Enzo.

Despite respecting my husband's decision, I don't want my kids to lose the man they've seen as their father ever since they can remember. I know it's gonna crush them and it will affect them even more in the future, and sometimes I wonder if I should listen to my mom and try to talk Ian into trying to repait their relationship. But I don't know, AITA?