The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Sebastianlim on 2025-06-21 02:20:44.
I am a mother of two; Vanessa (25) and Brandon (22). I am not married to their father, but they both have a relationship with him. They went to visit him this past weekend for Father’s day and were set to get to my house on Monday.
Brandon drove the two of them there and was supposed to drive back. The car he drives was mine originally. I paid it off and did not ask him to buy it from me on the condition that he is responsible with it; he was only paying for gas and maintenance. This was the first car I have ever been able to pay for upfront without taking out a loan, which carries sentimental value, so it is my car as far as I’m concerned.
A few minutes after they left their dad’s, I got a call from Vanessa saying that they had gotten into an accident. I asked if the car was damaged, and she told me it was totaled. I was immediately furious because Brandon knew how hard I worked for that car and I was very clear that I expected him to care for it. I asked Vanessa to please put her brother on the phone. Instead, their father came on and explained that they were in the emergency room and that our son was receiving treatment.
My ex then started to berate me for being more concerned about the property than about the kids and for getting angry at our son without knowing the situation, but in my defense, I hadn’t realized that he was injured. To be clear, Brandon will be fine and the other driver was completely unharmed, but they are all still furious with me. I had assumed that if his injuries were serious that it would have been the first thing they told me, but that isn’t a good enough explanation for them. Its been a few days now and both kids are still with their father and won't come stay with me. AITA?
UPDATE: First of all, to be very clear, I do not care about the car more than I care about my children. It was a moment of heightened emotion and I spoke before thinking. I can concede that it was insensitive. To be clear again, my son has a concussion and a few broken ribs but will be fine. The car is unsalvageable, and yes, it is insured, but that will not replace the sentimental value, but it's fine. Now, I called my children to apologize and explain that I would not have asked about the car first had I known that they were in an ER. Vanessa admitted that she should have told me that first but that she was very stressed at the time. I was not able to get far into the conversation when their father came in with some choice words for me, and the call ended shortly after. I believe he may be manipulating the kids into not wanting to talk to me or come over, but they are adults and that is their prerogative. My plan is to let it play out.