Am I the Asshole?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Any_Athlete_4616 on 2025-02-20 15:42:10.

So, I was on Bet365 with a friend, and I had €5 in my balance. We decided to play roulette, and I let him place the bets using my account. He ended up turning my €5 into €75.

After that, he started saying that I owed him €70. I was pretty shocked because it was my money and my account. We never had any agreement that he would get the winnings—he was just the one placing the bets.

To keep the peace, I ended up giving him €45, which I thought was more than fair. But instead of being grateful, he still called me “sneaky” for not giving him the full €70.

I asked another mutual friend for their opinion, expecting them to agree with me, but instead, they said I was being a rat and that I actually did owe him more. That really threw me off, because to me, it seems obvious that I was already being generous.

So now I’m second-guessing myself. AITA?

Edit: Forgot to mention I was willing to split half the earnings but when he got greedy I got pissed and wanted to keep all for myself.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Big_Words29 on 2025-02-20 15:34:37.

I have a pregnant co worker who is due early next month. To my knowledge she has no set leave date, though this week could be her last. We work remotely. Our work material is entirely computer based.

This week she decided that she wasn’t going to be doing her work items and set the expectation that those covering during her leave should start this week. She is still logging on daily.

It makes sense for those that maybe had to learn new tasks and might want input or support. In my personal case I had nothing new to learn and am very familiar with the work I am covering for her.

I pushed back on work she expected me cover early in the week and am now in a stand off waiting for her to reach out and tell me I need to do another of her tasks. When I pushed back I said that I assumed she was online so everything was as normal.

I feel a little heartless pushing back and asking her to continue to do her own work but at the same time why log on if you have no intent to do any work? It is not something that I would do or expect of my co workers. I only rely on the coverage of others if I am not able to do the work myself.

So tell me…am I being heartless here or do I have a little ground to stand on?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/No-Conference8095 on 2025-02-20 14:50:55.

I [19M] was kicking a ball around my kitchen and my mother said “it would be nice if you did that with your niece”, even though I was literally playing soccer with her in the house like last week. She just said it as if I never play with my niece, which isn’t true. I told I do play with her I was playing with her last week and she said something like “yeah every once in a while, it would be nice if you did it a bit more” and then she had the audacity to say “remember who kicked a ball around with you when you were younger”.. as if I’m my neices parent or something.

I said to her yeah but I’m not her parent I don’t have to play with her and she went on a whole rant about how my niece loves spending time with me, basically just a guilt trip. My niece [2] lives in the same house as me so I’m around her enough without having to play with her for hours a day.

My mother is just acting like I never spend any time with her and the fact that she brought up spending more time with her to me and not the actual parent of the child is crazy to me.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Evening-Grass4617 on 2025-02-20 14:33:59.

My (23F) boyfriend (23M) and I have been together for 7 years and live in a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment. I handle most of the household chores dishes, laundry, and general cleaning but one thing I ask him to do is clean the toilet when he leaves stains after using it.

Almost every morning, I wake up to find marks in the toilet from his poop. Since we only have one bathroom, I have to see it first thing when I go to use the restroom. I’ve asked him repeatedly to take a moment to clean it before he leaves for work, but he usually forgets or says he’ll do it later. When I bring it up, he says he’ll clean it when he gets home about eight hours later.

I don’t feel like I should have to leave it sitting there all day and use the bathroom over it like a porta potty in my own home. To me, it seems like a basic expectation to clean up after yourself, especially when I take care of most of the other housework. He thinks I’m overreacting and that I should just wait for him to do it when he gets home.

AITA for expecting him to clean up immediately rather than waiting until later?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/erodazels on 2025-02-20 14:30:44.

Hi, I (23F) am in a friend group with three other girls (all 23F). I've been single for two years, and the rest are all in committed relationships, the shortest being eight months and the longest being almost two years. Ever since they all started dating, our hangouts have turned to triple dates, with me as an extra, and we never hang out as just the four of us anymore. I'm not too put off by this, as their boyfriends are all super nice and I enjoy being friends with them.

Somewhere along the way, one of my friends, 'Maya', started a tradition of taking a 'seventh wheel photo', where I stand alone staring at the camera and the three couples doing couple-y things (e.g. holding hands, hugging, etc.) around me. We all found it funny at first, and we always get a lot of likes and comments whenever we share these photos online. It did get a bit tedious for me after a couple months of doing this at every hangout, but my friends got upset when I suggested stopping it or at least doing it less. So, the tradition continues.

Fast forward to this month, when they texted in our groupchat about having Valentine's Day dinner together. I didn't respond for a while, because 1. I was at work, and 2. I figured it was a romantic thing so I wouldn't be invited. However, they started getting frustrated at me not replying and 'Maya' called me to ask if I could make it. I asked if they really wanted me seventh-wheeling them on Valentine's Day, to which she replied "Of course, we have to continue our tradition! How can we take the photo without our main character there?"

I got annoyed at this and told her that I needed to work that day and can't make it. So, on Valentine's Day, they went on a triple date and I stayed home to watch movies with my roommate. However, I've been thinking about how uncomfortable taking those photos have been making me, but wonder if it's something worth voicing out and potentially having an argument about, as my friends seem really excited about taking it each time.

WIBTA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/liaanneea1 on 2025-02-20 11:00:47.

I have a friend who well call lily (not real name). She is a playfull person who gets offended easily. I usually don’t and even if I do, I don’t show it usually. Last week when we left school and was waiting for the bus. I realized the bus was late. I told my friend to check if the bus was canceled. She said she doesn’t know how and I should check it. I reached for my phone but it wasn’t there. I panicked like hell. I just bought that phone which was fairly expensive for our family. I started panicking and looking for it. My bag,pockets,floor everywhere I could think of. I was on the verge of tears and I have to say that I have heart problems and I don’t take this stuff well. Especially when I forgot to take my medicine that day. I felt like I was going to faint,my heart was pumping out of my chest. I was so bad that I was going to call an ambulance. And she knows that I have heart problems and I’m on medication. So I just rushed back to school hoping I forgot it in class or dropped it somewhere. Then she called my name and took the phone out of her pocket. I snapped and took the phone immediately. I started yelling so loud that the whole street could hear me. She told me to stop and it was just a prank.We didnt talked for the rest of the day. She didnt apologized but I did. I’m wondering if I overreacted. Did I do the right thing by apologizing? Maybe she should have apologized not me. I need some opinion.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Hedonism_Enjoyer on 2025-02-20 08:48:30.

I (27M) have a friend (23F) who lives in California. She frequently shoplifts from major retailers, justifying that she can get away with it both because of the state's questionable theft laws and for the fact she's "less likely to be profiled" on account of being a White woman. Most of our arguments have made for several hour long back-and-forths, often to no avail.

Recently, my friend met another woman who she intended to be in a relationship with. This woman checked off a lot of boxes, and I could tell my friend was particularly excited. However, when my friend's crush learned that she was a shoplifter, she broke off contact because she didn't want to be exposed to a "bad influence."

My friend returned to me, complaining about this falling out and how upset she was over it. After I asked her to explain the reason and she did, I told her that most people don't support stealing (especially because she's not exactly stealing to survive. She mostly pilfers books, makeup, and other recreational products that she does not want to pay for with her full time job). I then asked Friend if there might be something to learn from this, to which she replied, "Keep things to myself / lie more." When I told her that might not have been the right message, she groused that, "She doesn't know why she tells me things."

Considering that Friend is Christian and constantly argues against "sinful" behavior (such as premarital sex), it's extremely frustrating to me that she can't seem to grasp why stealing is wrong. Am I wrong to have brought it up when she complained about her failed crush and should I have been more supportive, or is she simply refusing to learn a basic lesson about morality and social contracts?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/No_Sun4767 on 2025-02-20 07:54:25.

I (27F) am not going to my brothers (30M) wedding, nor have I responded to his RSVP or his texts.

The backstory:

I had the type of childhood I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. That’s not saying it was all bad, I was privileged and afforded opportunities that I’m extremely grateful for. But, the things my brother did to me, the abuse I endured from him, I wouldn’t wish on anyone. And my parents never really knew about it.

My brother moved out of the country when he was 18, so the abuse stoped. But it took me till I had moved out of my childhood home, 3 years later, also at 18, to realize what happened during my adolescence with my brother was not okay and was in fact abuse. It took another 8 years for me to realize that I can choose who I want in my life and who I don’t want. And about a year and half ago, I realized that I didn’t want my brother in my life.

If I got married I wouldn’t want my brother there, if I had kids, I would never have my brother around them. I accepted that I didn’t want him in my life and it was okay to not be a part of his life. So one day, I just stopped responding to his occasional texts, Essentially, I guess, I ghosted my brother.

About 6months after this decision my brother sent out wedding invites. He is having two weddings and I immediately knew I was not going to either. I didn’t want to go. So I didn’t respond.

My parents obviously really want me to go, even offering to pay for flights and the hotel. But I kept pushing it off, citing school. But my mom went ahead and booked a hotel room and in no uncertain terms, basically RSVPed for me.

When my mom came to visit me I sat her down and told her that I didn’t want a relationship with my brother. I even told her very vague details about his abuse. She was obviously upset, but she apologized for not being there for me during, and understood my reasoning for not wanting a relationship, and she wouldn’t push the wedding anymore. She also stated that she would talk with my father when she got home. I kindly asked that she cancel anything she booked for me for the wedding. That was about 4 months ago.

About a week ago, my mom finally canceled the hotel room, but I guess that also meant that people started noticing I wasn’t coming. In the last week I have received 2 phone calls and 4 texts from my dad asking me to reconsider and come to the wedding. In addition, my mom has texted me asking me to tell my brother why I won’t come. And my brother has been texting me asking me why, and to reconsider. I have basically avoided and not responded to any of these messages or requests. I know it’s not the best solution, but it makes me really anxious, and avoidance is my go to anxiety response. But what better option is there? How else could I shut down there requests for me to come without disclosing the abuse? Thus, I’ve ghosted…

So, am I the asshole for not going to my brother’s wedding and ghosting everyone?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/sunny_dayz1547 on 2025-02-20 07:38:29.

My 28 y/o niece (on my husbands side) was away at college and struggling one day… called me sad, crying, and desperate. Her Mom and Stepdad were in Europe traveling. She was lonely and depressed. I told her she was welcome to come visit for the weekend and she was so happy to do so. I bought her a plane ticket and we picked her up from the airport. She was under pressure from her parents and school and we just lent her a pressure free environment, drank wine, and listened. We assessed that she was okay and there was no reason for concern. She didn’t want to tell her mom she was at our house and asked us not to either. We agreed and said it’s her story to tell…. but we also won’t lie if asked. She is also 28 going to college out of state (as are my own kids and I go week(s) at a time without hearing from them).

Her mom didn’t hear from her in a day or two so she went on to call all of her friends to find out where she was…got wind she was at our house and went OFF on us. Scathing barrage of text messages, berating voice messages. Made us to be villains. I didn’t want to deal with it so I ended up ignoring her.

Was I wrong for not calling her mom and secretly telling her mom she was at my house? AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Pennyinmypocket12 on 2025-02-20 06:33:14.

Back story: I 37f have a friend A 24f, we met at uni and became close friends. A had a difficult home life and an abusive parent so during second year I offered the spare room in my house for her to live in rent free until she was on her feet. When she did get an income I only charged minimal board that was less than 1/3 her income and included everything but her own needs (toiletries etc). We became extremely close and she was an integral part of my family. When my husband and I separated she was a fantastic support and was extremely close with my 2 children M10 & M12 (both of which attend boarding school).

We graduated together and while I got a job in our field of study, she struggled. Fast forward to end of 2024 when we both applied for an interstate job we both wanted and we were both accepted. She almost seemed disappointed that I also got this job.

We relocated and since we got here she completely cut ties with me and has stopped talking to me completely. I have tried to ask her if everything is ok but she has blown me off telling me she “can’t deal with me right now” or that I’m “making her feel like a bad friend”. So I have just given her space and left her be. If I’m honest, I feel extremely used, she lived in my home as a member of my family for over 18mths and it’s almost like now she doesn’t need cheap rent, she doesn’t want anything to do with me.

But I have since been getting calls for rental references for her in which she has been telling realtors that she rented a house from me and was paying significantly more than she was. She hasn’t asked me if this would be ok with me or even told me she was doing it. I have since given honest references explaining the living situation she was in and I was also honest in saying she damaged property and also failed to keep her bathroom clean or contribute to cleaning communal living areas. She has terrible credit and no rental history and is struggling to find a rental property (I already have one). AITA for not lying for a rental reference for her, I feel bad, but at the same time think that if I’m not good enough to talk to or acknowledge than I’m not obligated to do favours for her.

Edit: for clarification I haven’t given her home life history, just that she was a boarder and how much she paid and when I’ve been asked how about her cleanliness I have answered honestly. I’ve not given information that I haven’t been directly asked for.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/DJohnson0603 on 2025-02-20 05:55:38.

I (28M) yelled at my sister in law (31F) for embarrassing my wife (27F). My wife is 6 months PP and was helping her sister get ready for a family get together. My wife was moving things around and picked up a bag of dog food and peed herself because of it. My sister in law who doesn’t have kids btw found it hilarious and decided to tell everybody about it. My wife was embarrassed about it and I confronted my sister in law saying she had no idea what my wife had been through and that if she knew, she wouldn’t be making fun of her.

Btw this isn’t the first time she’s tried to embarrass my wife

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/rayyzz8920 on 2025-02-20 02:23:40.

AITA for swearing when far from my friend when she said that she isnt comfortable with it?

For context, My name is ray and i admit, I do have alot of issues with my language. my friend "A" has expressed that she is not comfortable with swearing and i have accepted that and i have not sworn around her since.

On the bus i had a good few friends and people to talk to and obviously i would talk to them, A was also on the same bus as me and would sit near me. I swear alot so obviously while talking to my friends i would incorprate that into my sentences. On this particular day I will agree that i WAS swearing alot but at the time i didnt even realize it as it just slips out of my mouth.

A's stop was coming up very soon and she would fall asleep alot on the bus so i looked to see if she was awake. She wasnt so i woke her up by just lightly shaking her back to get her concious. My stop is right before A's stop so i get home before her. I walk in through the door and im just chilling on my couch watching a movie when i get a message from my groupchat including my friend group that says something along the lines of "Due to a toxic relationship I am removing myself from this group, I hope you guys (more specifically Ray) won't be rude and spread rumours. If P (one of my friends in the group) wants to be friends with ray I'm perfectly fine with that and I'm not gonna force people to stop interacting with him, goodbye."

Obviously i am confused and i was thinking this was about how i woke her up on the bus.

I continue to tell her "If this is about how i woke you up on the bus then sorry. I genuinely have never spread a rumour about you or anyone in my life and dont plan on it. The only thing i can understand is you being mad at me for waking you up on the bus and again im sorry for that. It would be great if you could elaborate on exactly WHAT i done so i can try and fix it."

She responds by saying "What you mostly done was swearing, which made me very uncomfortable and anxious. Therefore im no longer being friends with you."

Mind you, She sent these messages on my mothers phone and i was responding on her phone because my mother was confused and so was I. I respond with "If you arent comfortable with my vocabulary then maybe not being my friend is a good decision. You've known from the start of our friendship that I have issues with my vulgar language and it just slides out of my mouth. If you find that "rude" of me then that is a you problem and i suggest you work on that."

I then tell her im sorry for anything i may have done and send her a picture of my contact information following with "if you would like to have a conversation about this and maybe work it out then add this contact." I send her a message from my phone basically summing up my points and my perspective on the situation so that she may pipe down.

She proceeds to leave me on read and i havent heard from her since

So reddit, AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/alexforonce on 2025-02-20 01:40:34.

For some background: I (22F) have a younger brother (4y difference). Our family has a history of having “only girls” in line so naturally my brother is everyone’s treasure (especially our mother’s who treats him like some delicate flower). Basically, I grew up stuck between boarding school during the week and doing chores around the house on weekends because my brother was always “too young to do chores” or “it’s girl’s job to clean and cook”. It’s the same even today — I do chores, he goes out with friends.

I would lie if I said I don’t get annoyed by it — he’s clearly our parent’s favorite child and I often get told that I should “do better as a woman”.

In the past I used to be less vocal about it, but these days I’m starting to notice more things that don’t necessarily sit right with me, and one of them is my brother’s “coming of age” party. Here, that particular birthday party is the most important one you’d ever have.

Our parents organised everything for their son: reserved the venue, got him to invite all his friends and the whole family, hired a whole team just to decorate the venue in whatever theme their son picks, even managed to book a DJ that’s famous in the area and therefore hard to hire. And now, don’t get me wrong, I also think that this particular birthday is meant to be celebrated big, I really do. But I still remember mine.

My coming of age party wasn’t meant to happen. Our mother was against it, saying that we don’t have enough money to throw a whole party about it. At the time I was very persistent because I wanted to have this celebration. I fought with our mother about it really bad, and in the end it was dad who convinced her to allow it.

I did have my celebration, though now that I look back at it I really wish I didn’t.

My coming of age party was at a restaurant, with music played from a Spotify playlist, and just a few closest friends of mine (plus the close family). Am I saying it’s bad? No. It was a great night and everyone had fun. It’s just everything around it: all the fights to have the celebration, the pressure of choosing only the “smallest number of guests”, having to explain why I couldn’t invite all of them, and all the preparations I had to do on my own. I was also told to give away the money I got in presents to pay back my parents for the party.

**It’s a tradition that guests give you money for you to start your adulthood with it. Some people use it for college, some buy their first car with it, whatever is your priority. I didn’t get to keep it.*

And now that it is my brother’s turn to have his party, and seeing how different treatment he gets, I might have reached my limit. I pointed out how unfair it is (as our financial situation didn’t change) and told them that I will attend the party only if he will give away the money he receives, just like I was told to do. Otherwise, I won’t go there. I felt truly hurt, still do, but… Am I the asshole for giving such an ultimatum? Because I definitely feel like one.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Happy_Language_1396 on 2025-02-20 00:06:39.

So my sister (29) got this Abbott Lyon necklace one of the ‘made for you ones’ which are personal in gold and with 4 personal charms off her boyfriend for Christmas.

I had seen and loved these necklaces they’re all over Instagram and after seeing the quality of them I hinted to my boyfriend I wanted one for my 21st birthday. I didn’t think it would be a problem between us at all when I got in silver with three charms that are nothing like hers and are personal to me and my boyfriend.

Since getting it she was rude and dismissive when talking about it and when I finally said she was being rude and it was annoying me she told me she was upset I took this “special thing” from her. Just because her boyfriend found it on her own and I showed it to mine she is upset saying I copied her and stole that special thing from her.

She has always been the centre of attention, and this really upset me that two vastly different necklaces caused such a problem. I told her she was a self centred b word and she called me a cow in return and we haven’t spoken to each other since.

She is expecting me to apologise and I refuse to when she’s blown this out of proportion and has tainted my boyfriend’s gorgeous present.

Am I the asshole here and need to apologise??

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Normal_redditorr on 2025-02-19 22:06:00.

OG post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/YGMXJvjGhl Hey guys, been awhile. Thanks for your love, I’ve been dragging my feet on an update but here it is. Surgery recovery has been great, I’ve been in therapy since 12, so my therapist knows everything about my dad. Can I just say it’s weird seeing my story posted on other apps with subway surfers and wood work? Love that people think my dad is a sperm donor and not a dad across all platforms. Senior night is on Valentine’s Day which I’ve told him weeks in advance saying “games start at 7 usually but I would get at the school 30 minutes early since we will probably do it before the game.” I texted his mom(Memaw) to ask him if he was going and he texted her: “oh I never got a date, she doesn’t tell me anything” BULLSH!T! I told her I’ll go NC if he doesn’t go and I will go LC if he does go. If he wants to know? He can fvcking ask and write it in his calendar. I told my mom to stop staying neutral and tell me why he acts like this, the relationship is almost ruined so there is no point in her trying to save it. He likes to play victim, try to make it sound like my mom doesn’t want him around, uses it as an excuse to make him look like a good guy. I’ve seen text messages when I was younger of my mom trying to get my dad to make an effort, (I showed her the first post so I’ll send her this one too, hi mom, the kindle had screenshots of some convos ily, I saw them in August when I found it so I knew for awhile). I see my mom in a new light now. She will be walking me down the aisle and my first dance, she sacrificed so much of herself for me. She is not only mom but my dad. For non Americans, senior night usually involves seniors and chosen people to walk them across the floor. My dad walked me down for my fall senior night, but he will not be one of my people this Friday. I am desperate to keep contact with my sister, I know Memaw will help me with that. I know that if fiancé and dad break up, he will do the same thing to my sister. Friday came and passed, my dad got p!ssy when he realized I didn’t want him to walk me across the gym floor. He along with Memaw and my sister left during halftime. (We did the walk before the varsity game and pep band can’t leave the stands until third, same as marching band plus Memaw has been to previous basketball games along with football games). I left dad a long voice mail and message Friday for leaving especially since my sister begged to see me and he refused her. I told Memaw I was disappointed that she left when she knew what happens at games. Monday I finally sent him boundaries and blocked him. I know I’m going to cry later, this is going to be hard for me. Thanks for your support, it means a lot to me throughout this journey.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/anoniniminityyy0123 on 2025-02-19 17:31:42.

I have a friend, let's call her Sally, who has been going through some tough times.

Sally split from her boyfriend last year when she caught him cheating. They had been together for over two decades, and he was very wealthy. Sally was a home maker while they were together, and when they split she was left with literally nothing.

Since the split she has been relying on the kindness of friends to get by. She has mostly been staying with 1 friend in particular, but lots of her friends have been pitching in to help meet her needs.

Currently she is attempting to support herself by trying to find work as a freelance artist, which she refers to as "hustling." Most of the money she makes immediately goes back into art supplies.

I live in a different state from her currently, and am barely scraping by myself, with a child to care for, so I have not been able to help her financially. Instead, I just try to be a sympathetic ear for her to vent to, and I've let her know that I don't mind her venting to me.

It is also important to note, that when she was with her ex, they would often help their friends make ends meet financially. She has helped me and my family more than once.

Yesterday we were talking on the phone, and she mentioned that she couldn't afford food. She said that for the past few days, she's barely eaten anything, and she doesn't want to ask the friend she is staying with for food, because she feels like that friend is already doing too much.

I mentioned that she should try looking into some local food banks in her area, and she became extremely offended. She said, "you know, you'd just think that with all the people I've helped over the years that I wouldn't have to turn to that. It's embarrassing!"

I told her that I wish I could help her myself, but that I only have $100 until next payday, and I have to put my child first. I offered to help her by doing some Google-ing for her about her options, but she insisted that taking food from a charity was embarrassing and unacceptable.

I reminded her that everyone goes through difficult times, and it's not embarrassing to ask for help. I asked her if she looked down on her friends who had needed help over the years, and she said that she didn't, but that she just wasn't used to being the person in need.

She then ended the call, saying she needed to get back to work. And I get the feeling that I offended her.

So reddit, AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/MsSaltyGiggles on 2025-02-19 16:39:40.

I go to the gym every day with a friend, and over the past few days, we’ve been working out together. He’s busted a few gnarly farts, and at first, I let it slide since he said he couldn’t help it. But eventually, it started to bother me. I like the guy, but I’ve become more direct lately, mentioning that no one wants to smell his ass. I’m not trying to be bombed out of my workout, and I can literally catch his scent whether we’re on the treadmill or lifting weights.

It’s even worse when I get on a machine after he farts because the smell lingers, and it’s just unpleasant. What’s even more embarrassing is that I’m worried others might think it’s me. I don’t want to be blamed for someone else’s discomfort because they’re smelling his farts around the gym. I’ve said it’s too easy to excuse himself to the bathroom, but I guess that’s too much to ask.

I don’t want my friend to hold his farts in and be uncomfortable, but I just find it inconsiderate. I guess I could do my own workouts, but I’m still worried someone will say something to him about it. I don’t want him to be embarrassed. Maybe I already embarrassed him by calling it out. I just want him to stop doing it in public while working out. Is it too much to ask to go somewhere private?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/SmallestSpace on 2025-02-19 16:21:48.

I (Olivia, 27) love photography and my SIL, Samantha (27). When she announced her wedding, I volunteered to be her photographer—completely free of charge. She lives hours away, and I wanted to help with the stress. Big mistake.

Because I enjoy being creative, I also designed her invitations, table numbers, wedding website, playlists, and bridal shower games. I even took a vacation day to help set up. She asked me to organize the wedding timeline, which I did, and she’s always had access to it. But with every task, she became more demanding. Some mornings, I’d wake up to 20+ texts full of requests.

Some of the more ridiculous ones:

• She insisted I make a custom cocktail hour playlist instead of using a pre-made one.
• She demanded I attend a second rehearsal, even after I said I had an exam to study for.
• She assumed I’d photograph her bridal shower AND rehearsal—without asking.

And the kicker?

• She insists I wear a floor-length gown and heels while photographing the wedding.

I’m not in the wedding party. I won’t even be in pictures—because I’M TAKING THEM. Long fabric + heels + running around a venue? I’ll be tripping all day. I asked months ago to wear something more practical, and she completely shut it down.

On top of this, family drama has made things worse. My FIL has been gossiping about the siblings. When my husband and I refused to engage, he called us “self-righteous,” causing a rift. I assured Samantha I’d remain civil. (That word is important later.)

I recently found out she’s been complaining about me, saying, “I don’t know what’s going on with the wedding because Olivia hasn’t responded!” and blaming me for her not hanging out with everyone. She’s also mocked my husband and me for our faith, jealous that other siblings are closer to us because we attend the same church. Now, a week before the wedding, I finally put my foot down. I told her:

1. She should assign a bridesmaid to coordinate the day of because I can’t be both photographer and coordinator.
2. I need to wear pants and comfy shoes to do my job but would change into a dress after major events.

Her response? “I thought we agreed to keep things civil? Did I do something offensive? 'm trying to keep this wedding less stressful as much as I can.”

CIVIL? If anyone has made this wedding less stressful, it’s me. I don’t think she’s concerned about me—just that she won’t get more out of me. I love her, but enough is enough. I have exams, my cat just had surgery for a possibly cancerous tumor, and I was sick for a month leading up to this. I understand I signed myself up for all these duties and I’m asking to change my outfit last minute, but I feel completely taken advantage of. AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Several_Day5269 on 2025-02-19 14:38:07.

I’m a single mom to a 5 year old boy. His dad only met him once when he was about 2 years old. Now at 5, he doesn’t have anything to do with him. He asks for pictures of him once in a while and sends him gifts for Christmas and his birthday but other than that, he doesn’t have anything to do with him. He sent me clothes for him and on one of the shirts it says something like “daddy’s little man” which I refuse to let him wear because he’s not really in his life and only has met him once. He’s in the Air Force and is in a different state but if he really wanted to and cared enough about him, he would ask to FaceTime him and talk to him on the phone. AITA if I refuse to let my son wear that shirt?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Crinklefriessss on 2025-02-20 08:42:21.

I found this place from ‘The Click’ on youtube btw so thanks for that mate.

I (15F) dont like wearing bras, i have autism and it makes me feel uncomfortable, it’s too tight and i hate it.. My mother is always telling me to wear them and that she doesn’t care about my comfort.

I have asked her multiple times

“What about my comfort and happiness? It’s uncomfortable and i dont like wearing it.”

She always responded

“I dont care. You’re wearing it and that’s final.”

We get mad at eachother and it’s gotten to the point where i wait until she lesves for me to get ready for school in the morning. She gets mad at me, making me mad, then i get in trouble for being mad.

I need another opinion on this.

Edit: I dont like wearing things under my shirts, the points you all make in the comments are helpful, and nice, thank you very much for your opinions and i’m taking them all into account

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/bingbaddie1 on 2025-02-20 08:39:10.

My (23M) mom (55F) has been taking us on cruises for about 12 years. Recently, I’ve grown tired of them, and because of a traumatic event involving my sister, I’ve told my parents that I don’t want to go on cruises anymore.

I was fine going on cruises in the past, but I’ve recently grown tired of them. My parents know this; so tell my siblings and me that we’re going on vacation to Europe. My parents know that I’ve always wanted to go to Europe. My brother said he doesn’t want to, so they buck our trip to Europe that would’ve been 7 days and replace it with a 14-day cruise to Latin America. They pay for the entire thing without saying anything. So I’m double miffed, especially because saying no would feel ungrateful, but I feel I’ve communicated myself clearly.

Cue today—in addition to not wanting to take a vacation for 14 days, I’ve been unemployed for months and applying to jobs. I am not in a financial position to be going on two week vacations. I can’t even afford to buy the flight there—my credit cards are maxed out, and my unemployment checks don’t cover it—my savings do, and they’re running THIN. I’m behind on my student loans; I can’t afford to not work. I NEED a job the second it’s given to me.

I tell my mother this well in advance and that I’m interviewing for jobs, and if I get one, I have to take it, and I won’t be able to get two weeks off to go on the cruise. No matter how many times I tell her this, she tells me that in the interview, before they ask me “if I have any vacations coming up,” I just tell them about the cruise, and they’ll grant me the two weeks. When I tell her that they wouldn’t, she says “she knows how it works, they’ll always give me the two weeks.” She then says that if they don’t, she can just cancel it and it can be okay.

After two months of applications, I finally receive a job interview. ONE. And it happens while the cruise is going on. I will not be able to sustain the zoom connection on the boat, and, again, I just don’t want to go on the cruise. I’ve tried telling my mom over and over again about the interviews, because I thought she’d take the hint or just in the name of safety cancel the cruise. She did not.

The day of the cruise approached, my mom keeps asking me questions like when I’ll get a haircut / when I’m going to go on the flight, etc. and I brush the questions off because I feel genuinely stressed about telling her that I’m not going. In the past, when I told her I wasn’t going to vacations, she wouldn’t take me seriously until the day of, so I don’t know how to signal it to her.

Today, 5 days before the cruise, she asks me a question, and I blurt out that I can’t go, because I have an interview and I can’t afford to not miss it. I don’t know how long it’ll be before my next opportunity, and I seriously need everything I can take. My mother got extremely upset and said “are you crazy? I spent $2000 for you and it’s gonna go to waste.”

I’m sitting here feeling awful about myself. AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Inevitable-Dig9819 on 2025-02-20 07:06:15.

hi, everyone. so i 20F just had an argument with my boyfriend 19M that made me feel really upset and made myself doubt the relationship.

we had already been having problems, and he called me tonight long after he said he would. he had a bad day at school today in which the teacher was being an ass to him. i sometimes have abandonment issues and he seemed as though he didn’t wanna be on the phone with me so i asked him if he still loves me.

and to this he sighed as though i was an inconvenience and asked, ‘what did i do now?’ i tried explaining to him that it was hurtful to respond like that, like i’m bothering him, and he hung up in my face until i texted him. he said that he didn’t feel like doing this even though i tried to explain that i didn’t want to argue, i just wanted him to acknowledge that his response to my question was overblown when he could’ve easily reassured me and communicated.

instead, he said he’s ’tired of being told what he’s doing wrong by everyone.’ and i said that ‘i don’t care what everyone else is doing.’ not in the sense that i don’t care, but that what other people do has nothing to do with me.

he said ‘it’s whatever have a nice night, i’m going to sleep.’

and i said ‘i don’t like leaving on bad terms,’ because i want to always make sure that the people in my life know i love them if we’re arguing and especially if we’re going to sleep. he said ‘all you care about is yourself.’

i said ‘what if something happens to one of us while we sleep and we didn’t leave on good terms.’

he said, ‘be quiet for a sec. i’m fucking tired of everyone, leave me alone damn’

and i said ‘alright, i love you.’

and he didn’t respond.

mind you. he has issues sleeping so i know he saw my message and chose to ignore it. he’s usually more patient and forgiving, but tonight was so weird. maybe he’s just tired of me. but i don’t care how tired i am of someone, i don’t ever not return someone’s ’i love you,’ and that deeply hurt me.

maybe my timing was wrong and i shouldn’t have asked what i asked, but i also feel that he behaved in an ugly manner. aita?

UPDATE: thank you everyone for the feedback! i took it all under advisement and i apologized to him. he hasn’t said anything but we’ll see how it goes in the morning. thank you for letting me see things in a new way!

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/happulilork_2772 on 2025-02-20 06:47:32.

Am I (22F) the asshole for feeling offended that my boyfriend (23M) won’t add me on Reddit? We have been dating for about three months, and we were talking about how I just got an account on Reddit and downloaded the app (he loves this app), but when I brought up us following each other on here, he said I was cringe. I was not expecting that reaction and defensively asked why he would not want to be my friend. When he said it was cringe I defensively snapped at him and asked him why that was cringe. He’s said he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but won’t spend any Reddit life with me. I don’t know the social norms on Reddit and following your significant other, but he seemed harsh. When I asked him why it was cringe he just said ‘I guess we could follow each other’ but that clearly means his heart is not in it. I felt like I was showing interest in his interest and he shot me down.

Should I let it go because it’s really not that deep or is it cute for couples to follow each other on here and he just doesn’t see the vision? (Edited for clarity)

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/icygirl7 on 2025-02-20 05:37:03.

I (23f) recently started a new job as server at a restaurant this week. It's been okay, I honestly don't like how everyone is overly friendly at work but a job is a job right?

This afternoon, I finally meet this co-worker (32m) who works from Wednesdays to Sundays. I shook his hands when he came in to introduce myself. He raised my hand up, looked at me up and down, and spun me around 360 to check out my body.

I was just in shock, I didn't know what was happening. He then told me I had a nice figure and he wishes he had a butt like mine.

At that point, I was all red. I was just like what?? and he immediately apologized, saying he was just complimenting my body and then asked for my gym routine.

Other co-workers were around us and they saw I was clearly uncomfortable so they jumped in and just told me he is just like that. In the background, I heard him trying to tell me he is gay and he didn't mean anything bad by the comment.

But at that point, my head was spinning and I was infuriated. Sure I had men catcalled me and said inappropriate things but not like this, not in workplace by a co-worker, not with other co-workers watching. It was a really embarrassing situation.

I clocked out about half an hour after that. I worked day shift and he usually does night shift, so luckily we didn't have to work together today. He just got here a little early and spent the rest of the time in the break room talking with others. He seems super loud and way too friendly with others as well, he doesn't watch what he says.

I immediately texted my manager, who didn't come in because it was his only day off. I then emailed the HR department including all details and asked for my co-worker to be fired because what he did and said was simply too inappropriate. He seems to be a popular guy at work and brings in a lot of tips so I don't know if they will really fire him or just give a warning.

AITA for asking him to be fired? Am I going too far?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Dry_Cress4689 on 2025-02-20 01:27:14.

I (23F) told my sister (26F) that my boss let us know how much revenue the company makes at a party. He asked that we keep it between us (we're a small company of 12). My sister asked how much and I told her I couldn't say since it was told in confidence and she got so mad she refused to talk to me. Really, I could've told her because it's not like we signed an NDA, nor do I think she'd go spreading that information to anyone relevant, but I wanted to test how well she'd handle a "no".

We have a long history of her pushing me to do or reveal things, to the point where it'd get physical, but those fights have since been resolved. I wanted to see if she's changed at all, but it seems not.

Here's what my sister had to say:

"You're a corporate shill and a bot. You're choosing to protect your boss over your own family. If your boss asked you to jump off a cliff, you'd probably do it too. You're nothing to me now, you're less than a stranger on the street."

I told her the revenue and said it was just a test to see if she'd respect my boundaries so the corporate shill accusations aren't relevant. She replied "Oh so you want to play games now? Okay, here's a game, don't ever ask me for help with anything ever again. I always help you, but you never help me."

I felt like she was manipulating the narrative when she framed revealing the revenue amount as "helping". She doesn't even work in the same industry so I don't see how it would be helpful to her, nor did she express she'd find the info helpful until that very moment... when my parents were there mediating. It's like she was trying to paint me the villain in front of them. My parents agreed with her that I should've just told her the amount because "there are no secrets between family".

My argument was no one should feel obligated to reveal information they don't want to, even to family. I have never pushed any family member to say or do anything they didn't want to and I was simply asking for the same respect.

I do wonder if I'm the asshole though because it's true my sister has helped me out many times before. When I was unemployed she bought me meals. When there was a family vacation I couldn't afford, she loaned me money. I didn't ask for help, but she offered and I took those offers. I'm starting to regret it though because my friends say the help didn't come without a price.

A few months ago my sister brought up one of the darkest periods of my life to mock me, and since then I've distanced myself from her emotionally. We used to be closer, but after that, I couldn't trust her anymore. So my friends believe this withholding of revenue information was the nail in the coffin for her. My friends think our relationship is transactional in that my sister provides help so that she can control me and feel entitled to details about my life.

The vibe in my house is so bad it was negatively effecting my performance at work so I'm currently staying with a friend and not sure how to handle things when I return. Am I the asshole?