Am I the Asshole?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Spiritual_Hat7083 on 2025-04-04 12:54:41.

For context, four couples are invited to this dinner. First couple celebrate the wife’s bday in Feb and the husband covered a $1500 bill for everyone. I celebrated my bday last month and husband covered the bill. Two weeks ago, couple three and four who have bdays in April asked us to block off a date for dinner (so ya, can’t say we’re busy and can’t make it anymore). Today, they asked in group chat if everyone is okay with a $200/each dinner at a high end steak house. The minimum and deposit is required because they want a private room. I’m annoyed that I have to spend so much on a dinner I had no say in and spend money to celebrate their birthdays when they were treated… and they basically gave us no way out. If they don’t want to treat maybe there could have been an open discussion? Or not get a private room? AITA for being really annoyed about this?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ok_Application9306 on 2025-04-04 12:42:24.

I (24f) work in a small office where we all wear several hats. If anyone needs to leave for a legit emergency then we just let the team know and someone helps out if needed.

My coworker Jess (mid20’s I think) has a pattern of leaving early without saying shit to anyone. She’ll quietly grab her stuff and leave an hour or two early, she never checks with the manager or even says anything in the group chat.

On Wednesday she left at about 3 ( we were scheduled until 5) she didn’t say anything to me or anyone else. Around 4 a client called and asked to speak with her about something important. I told the client she was no longer in the office but I could take a message or pass the issue along to someone else. The client said they’d follow up by email.

The manager then came over and asked if Jess had already left when the client called. I said yes, she had. That was it. I didn’t add anything extra or make a big deal of it.

The next morning Jess pulled me aside and told me she felt like I threw her under the bus. She said I should have told our manager that she had stepped out quickly or made up something less direct. She also said I should have told the client she was unavailable rather than saying she left for the day. I told her I wasn’t trying to get her in trouble, but I wasn’t going to lie about where she was, especially when she didn’t tell anyone she was leaving or ask for coverage.

She’s been pissy with me ever since then and some of my other coworkers are acting like I broke an unspoken rule. I honestly don’t really think I did anything wrong but I’m kinda second guessing.

Edit:sorry if this is too rambly

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Glass-Entrance7856 on 2025-04-04 12:25:03.

Am I the asshole for wanting my ex husband to pay me what he agreed upon paying before he gets married and buys a new house? I’m 37 f and my ex husband is 37 m. We got divorced in 2021 and both have new life’s. He is marrying the woman he cheated on me with and I am very happy for them. Honestly it’s been a huge weight off my back because the man is verbally and emotionally abusive. He continued it after our divorce and basically until I got a boyfriend myself. Anyways in our divorce we agreed he would pay half my student loans because I went to school while we were married while I was a stay at home mom. The total is ballpark $40k. So he owes me $20k. He’s getting ready to get married again in the next few months and buy a new house but yet still owes me the $20k. I had a conversation with him and he told me I’m being selfish and being ridiculous for asking for the money that he’ll pay me when he can pay me. He’s also in the last year bought over $90k worth of vehicles. On top of that he has told our girls (mind you we have two kids together)that all of the money that I have is his, but I have a full-time career. Not sure if I’m providing enough context and can provide more, but am I the asshole for wanting him to pay me the money that he owes me before he gets married and starts this new life?

Edit: Yes, it is written in our divorce agreement. I do plan on taking him back to court soon. Just trying to decide if paying lawyer fees are worth it for 20k when an attorney costs about 10k.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Middle_Confidence40 on 2025-04-04 12:11:21.

My (30F) friend "Suzy" (29F) recently told me she's been representing herself as a licensed agent and realtor to people despite not having completed the licensing exam. She works with a licensed broker named Bob who handles the legal aspects of transactions, but she's still telling people she's a realtor without having the credentials.

When I saw a text where she admitted this, I told her that misrepresentation is illegal and that falsifying a license is a serious offense. I explained that this could potentially get both her and Bob in trouble, since "Realtor" is actually a protected term for members of the National Association of Realtors.

She got defensive and said "I don't care" and that "It's not really a lie" and "It's so minor." She claims she's just using the term to make their "brand sound more legit" and that she's "not proactively saying she's a realtor to people in town." But in an earlier message, she clearly said "Yes" when I asked if she's telling people she's a realtor. And she was sending a text to her friend reminding him that she is a realtor. She also has stated on their brokerage website that she “got her license in 2024.” I recently saw this and said you need to edit that out because you can’t tell people you’re a licensed agent, and she said she was planning to take it out.

She eventually messaged saying it seems like she “struck a nerve” and that she's not doing anything that "puts Bob or our business at risk" because she's "not handling deals or writing offers." She ended by saying "Lol i dont care" when I reminded her that misrepresentation and falsifying a license is illegal.

I feel like I was just looking out for her by warning about potential legal consequences, but she's acting like I'm being ridiculous and overreacting. It makes me feel sick to imagine my friend deceiving people like this, and to have complete disregard for the rules. To me, there is zero benefit to her lying.

AITA for calling her out on this? What should I do here?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/imadooooor on 2025-04-04 12:01:04.

So for context I have a problem it's weird but I can't stand the feel of buttons glitters and sticker made of plastic in my body it makes me feel awful and my girlfriend decided it would be funny to hold me while her sister tries to put plastic glitter stickers on me after I literally begged to not be a part of it and when she decided to force it while evading her sister trying my best not to accidentally hit any if them I decided for safety reasons I better just take the sticker sheet from her sister and so I did and her sister just started crying and my girlfriend got mad at me saying her sister is a toddler and I should let her do it. Seems like she just can't respect the fact it causes me distress

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/AskFormal6727 on 2025-04-04 09:56:06.

I (19f) have been friends with 3 girls, Mary (19f), Leah (20f) and Jane (20f), for about a year and a half. We met in college and got along really well, and I consider them to be some of my closest friends.

That being said, we are pretty different. They are a lot more "wild" than I am (their words, not mine). I am a rather calm, cautious person, and don't really enjoy getting drunk, while they are self-proclaimed party animals. I do go out and drink, but always in a reasonable way, whereas they more often than not end up completely drunk. That of course never stopped us from being friends and I still go out to bars with them and have a great time, we just have fun differently.

It was never an issue until recently. Three weeks ago, we went out as we normally do, but things went pretty bad. They all got extremely drunk, to the point where Jane and Mary passed out and Leah left the party without telling anyone and we found her asleep in a random corner 5 minutes away from the bar we were at, and she had thrown up on herself. Since I never get too drunk, it's sort of an unspoken rule that I'm there to take care of them if they drink too much, but normally that just meant holding their hair while they threw up in toilets, or calling a cab for them.

So I had a really stressful time, having two friends that I needed to take care of and another one that I had to look for for over 30 minutes, and it completely ruined my night, when I was supposed to have fun and let go of my stress. The next day I told them that it was irresponsible of them to let me deal with it and to just expect that I'd take care of them, and that it couldn't happen again. I told them that I'd only go out with them if they were careful and reasonable. They all apologized and that was it.

But a week ago they asked me to go out again, so I made them promise that it wouldn't end up in the same way. Well, it did. Jane left with a random guy without saying anything and Leah was so drunk that we had to carry her from the cab to her house. Mary wasn't too drunk but still, it was super stressful again and I had to take care of them. The next day I got angry at them because they had promised it wouldn't happen again, and told them that from now on I wouldn't be going out with them anymore.

Yesterday they asked me to come to a party with them and I said no, and said that I had plans to go out with other friends. They got really upset and said that I was unfair, especially since I was still going out with other people. I explained that those people never did the same things they did which was why I was comfortable going out with them. They're now saying that I'm not a good friend for not wanting to help them and that I'm being too uptight. I know that I might be "not fun" for this but also it's really not a fun time for me anymore and if I go out it's to have fun not to look after three passed out drunk people... But I really don't want this to ruin our friendship. I don't know what to do.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/OrangeOk4880 on 2025-04-04 07:32:02.

My (f28) mom chose to abandon her parental rights when I was 10 months old to be with a man she met and move states away. She came back into my life when I was 4 (they broke up) and was in and out of my life my entire childhood. When she would come back into my life she was extremely abusive both emotionally and physically. My father was also not perfect, he was an alcoholic, I had been put into foster care a few times, and my mom never showed up to any of the court dates.

When I was 14 she found God and remarried an extremely hardcore religious man she met at church.

Her husband has always hated me, told me that I couldn’t live with them because I didn’t follow the path of God. They’ve never helped me with anything financially, she never even paid child support.

Fast forward to two years ago, her and her husband have had 3 daughters (aged 12, 10, and 7 as of right now) my mom asks me to buy her restaurant for $25,000. It started to get to the point where she was begging me, trying to tell me that it was a great business investment, that she had so many offers and wanted to keep it in the family. She said I would be making $100,000 a year. She didn’t know her husband had texted me months earlier saying that their business was failing, and he wanted me to help them turn their business around.

I told her I was sick of her only contacting me when she needed something.

She then had my sisters to call me and leave me voicemails asking why I was ignoring them and wouldn’t come visit.

I got engaged in June of last year and my fiancés family offered to put in $15,000 for the wedding, my dad matched that and my fiancé and I are putting in around $10,000. My fiancé has a huge family and I only have about ten people on my dad’s side. My mom found out about our wedding from Facebook and offered to fly out my aunts, her daughter, and both of my grandparents. They all live in Thailand so I was really grateful to be able to have them there, I’ve always had a pretty good relationship with them and wouldn’t be able to afford to pay for all of their flights here without her. I was ready to bury the hatchet just to have them attend. My dad’s family made it very clear that they didn’t want to pay for her and her family. I asked her if she could pay for just herself, her husband, and her family and she told me she could only give me $1,000 because she has to pay for her kids’ private school. With catering, bar, and rentals everything ends up being around $200-250 a person. When I told her this she said that I should expect that everything else would be paid off by gifts from guests.

I don’t want to seem ungrateful and selfish for telling my own mom and family that they can’t come to my wedding because they won’t give us enough money, but I really don’t want to have other people (especially my father) pay for her to be there when she’s never helped me with anything in the past. AITA for telling her she can’t come unless she gives us more money?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Dependent-Buy-6436 on 2025-04-04 07:09:06.

We live on the 22nd floor. Our parents are out of the country right now. Have been for a couple of weeks. There was an earthquake a week ago. I(18) just grabbed my sisters(13 and 11) and ran down the fire escape. Called our mom who instructed us to drive to our aunt’s and stay there.

The next morning, I called the condo admin who said that our building doesn’t have any cracks and we can return. But our aunt didn’t want us to go home right away and asked me to stay for an extra couple of nights.

My sisters wanted to go home right away though. Stiff necks and backs from sleeping on the sofa. So I called my mom who told me it’s my call.

I ended up deciding to wait for an extra few days. Told them to stay at our aunt’s while I went to buy them a couple of pillows.

On the fourth day, I got a call from one of my friends at the condo saying that a team of engineers inspected the building and determined that it’s safe.

So I drove them back, checked with the admin and we moved back in. They are still talking about stiff backs though.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Obvious-Acadia-1218 on 2025-04-04 05:48:51.

I'm going to get judgement for part of the story so throwaway.

I (40F) have a stepdaughter (16F) from my husband's previous marriage. The story is that my husband cheated on his wife with me and left her to be with me. That was 12 years ago, and now we're still married. My stepdaughter and I have always had a surprisingly decent relationship considering the past. My stepdaughter spent 5 days out of the week at home with my husband and me. As a result, I would drive her to school, pack her lunch and help her with homework. I did this hoping she wouldn't hate me, and it worked. I am physically unable to have kids, so having a good relationship with my stepdaughter filled at least part of the void for me. Nonetheless I do understand she isn't my daughter. She came up with various nicknames for me throughout the years, mostly short versions of my actual names. She started calling me "ma" recently. Her explanation for doing so was to show me a little more respect. I'm ok with it. I know she still calls her actual mother "mom." But just because I was ok with it didn't mean her mom was though. When she heard my stepdaughter call me ma I could easily tell it ticked her off. She told my stepdaughter to not call me that and told me I should lecture my stepdaughter that I'm not her mother. I told her I don't really care what she calls me, since I don't control my stepdaughter. She was ticked off by this too but didn't say anything.

I'd like to know if this interaction specifically makes me an asshole. I know the past was wrong but I genuinely do not see an issue with my stepdaughter choosing this nickname for me.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fallenblacknail on 2025-04-04 05:07:50.

My (16f) parents divorced when I was 12. Their marriage was rocky for years, so I wasn't surprised, but I was devastated about my dad moving out. Almost immediately, I was introduced to my mom's boyfriend. I already knew about him when I accidentally saw a gross text he sent my mom. I did not like him, and I was hesitant to even try to get along, even though ig he was nice enough. I know he was seeing my mom before she was divorced, and my mom talked to me about that, saying that by the point the marriage was already over. However, when I saw the text, from my perspective, my parents were still together and would be together.

As the years have passed, I hate him a little more every time I see him. He's so childish, and insults my sister (24f)(even if he doesn't seem to think he does). When I was still young, my mom asked if she wanted me to break up with him, since I wasn't taking things well and was very bad mentally, but I said no because I love her and wanted her to be happy, even though I hated her dating someone so soon. I know he's done a lot for me, but I hate him, and I can't help it.

I spend weekends with my dad, but whenever I spend them with my mom, she always invites him, and then it always becomes about what he wants to do. They also used to talk badly about my dad, who I know wasn't the best husband, but he was still my dad, and at that time I was a kid, which didn't help things. We disagree on most things, especially politically, which I know is stupid but still.

My mom is always really upset that I don't get along with him, and says she wishes I loved her enough to like him. I say that just because I don't like him doesn't mean I don't like how he's good for her. But I can't bring myself to like him at all, or appreciate him. Especially now that they're planning on moving in together once I graduate. I just know that I won't want to visit her when I'm in college, because he will always be around. We recently had another arguement about me being disrespectful, which I will admit, I can be very rude (ex: ignoring him purposely when he says hi/bye, having bad tone, talking back).

I don't feel bad about not liking him, because there's really nothing that will ever change that, but I do feel bad that it distresses my mom so much. So, aita?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Aware_Banana_8180 on 2025-04-04 02:18:07.

Hello. I(20F) am not an animal person: I don't hate them and do like playing with them, but I'm not really responsible enough to have one and don't intend to have one.

My brother(32M) really loves animals. He has a "habit", I guess you can call it that, where he will impulsively bring an animal home, which I guess is how we ended up with five dogs and three cats. However, most of the time he's either in his room working from home or in his girlfriend's house, so essentially the main caretaker for the animals is dad(65M).

My brother did tell us about the rules for the animals. The most important are: "they only eat twice a day and if they don't start eating in five minutes you have to take the food away" and "they can't go inside, only in the yard".

However, last month I was returning home from work and I heard the new puppy crying. He is like three months old I think and he was looking at his food bowl. I put food for him and since the others were around I put it for them as well. Essentially it kept happening until it became habit for me to put food for them when I got home from work, and somehow this led to them being allowed in my room, and now the dogs sleep at the foot of my bed and the cats in my bookshelf every night.

My brother is very mad at me and everytime he notices he goes in my room to make them leave, and we are fighting because of it. I understand the animals are his and stuff, but the animals clearly like to sleep in my room and I don't mind them there. My room is separate from the rest of the house so it's not like it bothers the other occupants. I think he is the most mad about the feeding since he claims I will make them fat. He is making it clear that I am untraining them by breaking the rules.

My dad doesn't care and says my brother doesn't get an opinion because he isn't the one that buys food and cleans the poop for all the animals he brings home. My brother claims they are still theirs to decide what to do with. AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/1315Crisis2375 on 2025-04-04 04:39:52.

I 20 F have a bf 20 M who I’ve been dating for several years. We have fights from time to time like most couples but we fight very differently. I like to sit down, state how we feel, communicate, compromise, and solve the issue. He likes to yell, though, he’s working on it.

Today was one of our bad days (these are quite rare) but we got into 4 separate arguments today. I will detail the other fights in the comments for context and examples if requested.

I was playing a video game and he began talking shit to me out of the blue, like we were quietly doing our own things and he just started??? I don’t remember what he was saying but after fighting all day, getting yelled at all day and being nothing but nice back I snapped. I paused my game turned with tears in my eyes to him and finally yelled at him, “why are you doing this? Why are you being so mean today I’m tired of it! Just stop”! He scoffed, “damn you’re being so emotional. Are you on your period?” That’s when I saw red. I completely lost it, “are you fucking kidding me!?! I have been nothing but nice to you and you have been a jerk to me all day! And the one time I actually express any emotion like anger or sadness or being upset you ask if I’m on my period!? Like I’m not allowed to have or express my feelings unless I’m bleeding!? Are you fucking kidding me!?” I yelled this at him through tears as he got up from his seat. He started walking away and said, “I’m gunna walk away for a bit you’re being a lot”. I just sat there like what??? So idk did I overreact?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/winterbunny5 on 2025-04-04 03:39:31.

Hello all! Quick info for this, I F26 live with 2 guys both M25, I pay an extra $250 per month so I can have the master bedroom that has its own bathroom. one of my roommates recently got a new job and now wakes up at 5 in the morning (consequently, the same time as my other roommate) and now they bicker over who gets to shower at what time. James (the one who is just now getting up this early) texted me asking if he could use my shower in the morning so him and our other roommate don’t conflict on shower times. I didn’t answer the text message at the time because I was driving and ended up forgetting about it

He actually just ended up using my shower that morning while I slept over at my boyfriends without asking and I feel like it’s already a HUGE invasion of privacy I don’t want this story to be too TMI but I have personal things in my shower. So obviously when I found this out I flipped the fuck out on him.

I told him he can never use my shower and in fact can never even come upstairs after that. He asked what I meant and where the hostility was coming from and I ended up sending him a screenshot of him IN MY ROOM on the ring camera I have set up. AITA here? He’s making me feel like I’m being stingy and an asshole :/

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Murky-Ad-1738 on 2025-04-04 02:32:13.

AITAH for not allowing my mom to stay the night at my house anymore

So I'm new to this but I need to know if I'm the Ahole here. For context I am 34 married to my husband 39 we have 2 sons 11 and 15. So long story short my mom is controlling and manipulative. My whole life she has used me and my sister as her slaves while she drank, did drugs and cheated on my father. My sister is 5 years older than me and got out when she was 15. I on the other hand lived by her rules got a job babysitting at 12 because I was very mature for my age. I grew up taking care of my dad when he got really sick(cancer) I was 11. Any way fast forward many years we moved to VA and I found an amazing man we were friends for years then got married. My mom lives with us for awhile but I had to make her leave because she almost got us evicted because of her being a slob and letting her dogs destroy her room ewww poo everywhere. Anyway now she says I abandoned her (side note she lives 14 minutes from us she lives with my aunt) I do visit her and take her grocery shopping etc, I make sure she has her meds, get her baths for her etc. I bring her to the house to see the kids and hangout. But she says that I am a b**** because I won't let her stay the night anymore ( my kids don't like her she attacked my oldest son, she calls me fat and makes me wait on her hand and foot) I promised my dad when he was dying that I would take care of her but he knew what kind of person she was so I took care of her as long as I could. I have been in therapy for years because of this woman. AITAH for not letting her stay with us anymore and am I a horrible daughter

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/FlavMink on 2025-04-04 00:33:03.

My gf has had body issues the whole 5 years we have been together. I love her and remind her how beautiful she is constantly. She has dealt with an eating disorder before me, and I cook for her to make sure she eats stuff other than energy drinks, chips, and sugar.

As of late, she has been having trouble with acne. She might have like 2 pimples and think the world is over. I had tons of acne in high school, got made fun of, and got over it. She has been dealing with it due to the birth control pills she takes. I have told her multiple times that if she hates it, we can go back to condoms or switch pills. She just doesn't due to fear of other pills' side effects and/or "not wanting to waste the pills cause they'll throw them away"?

Today, she went to get this cream that's been helping her with the acne, and apparently, the company stopped making the cream. She's crying on the phone ,driving, talking to me about how she's having a panic attack, and wanting to scream and cry in the store after noticing it is not being made anymore. I first told her to pull over and not to drive if she's panicking like this. Then, I told her a realistic plan of trying other products that I could even buy for her so she could test them. I also told her about this beef tallow thing that she showed me a while back.

She wasn't happy and told me how she "fucking hates her skin and wanted to scream as hard as she can in the store". I told her how she has to find a way to calm down and that something like acne cream shouldn't throw her into a huge melt down by seeing 1 of 999999999999 different creams is gone. She yelled at me and hung up.

I can understand how much she hates having acne, but trying other creams and potentially finding a better one sounds so easy to me. She will maybe have 4 pimples for a few weeks and won't explode. Am I The Asshole for saying she shouldn't freak out over it?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/No_Piece8665 on 2025-04-03 23:45:47.

I (40f) am a SAHM, though I work part-time from home. My husband (43M) works from home. We have a great relationship, but I admit I do get frustrated that he doesn't help more around the house and with the kids (8, 6, 4).

My husband can't aim to save his life. This is a long-standing issue and when we first starting living together (and I worked full-time) cleaning the bathroom was his chore because it drives me crazy. However, bathroom duty fell to me after we had kids. This is fine, but over the last 4 months he's been on a new medicine for his diabetes - the perineum infection side-effect one. Turns out, the reason it can cause perineum infections is it makes you urinate sugar.

It is so gross. Like, the texture of dried milk in a cereal bowl. I have to SCRUB to get it off. And he can't aim so it's not just the toilet, but the walls, the floor, and the cabinet. So now a task that used to take 30 minutes twice a week takes an hour to an hour three times a week (because sugar molds quickly).

I've put cleaning wipes in every bathroom and asked him to do a quick wipe down each time he goes, but he would forget frequently and I didn't notice a discernable difference. I asked him to a quick wipe down of the 2 main bathrooms each night to try to mitigate the mess. But he was always too tired or forgot. Today, I told him he needs to take over cleaning the 2 bathrooms he uses the most (just the toilets and surrounding area). I made a point to be calm about it, but explained that cleaning the bathroom makes me resent him because the changes in his medication and his inability to regularly clean up after himself have made the chore extremely onerous for me and he has been unable to complete the tasks that would ease the burden on me.

He's angry, claiming that I'm holding things he can't control (the change in meds, his struggles aiming, his ADHD making him forget to wipe things down) against him and that I'm trying to get out of a chore I dislike. I mean, I can't say I LIKE cleaning toilets, but it really wasn't an issue until his meds changed. The new med works great, so I don't want him to get off of it. However, since the majority of my time cleaning the bathroom is cleaning HIS mess, I feel like this responsibility should fall to him. AITA?

TLDR: Husband's diabetes meds changed, so now he urinates sugar. He can't aim, so it makes a giant mess and I think he should clean it up.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/CatchWeak3224 on 2025-04-03 08:56:53.

I (35F) am very low contact with my younger sister (28F), the Golden Child.

She got married legally last year in a destination wedding + holiday (beach destination in our state) paid for by our parents. I paid my own way; parents paid for sister + BIL's flights, accommodation, sister's dress and entire wedding. I delayed the start of my new job to go, and was unpaid during this trip.

I didn't enjoy it but endured because my parents demanded I attend. I didn't expect to be invited, to be honest, and doubt I would have been had my parents not been holding the money bag.

To clarify, I have no ill will towards my sister. She's found a good man and I'm happy for her. I gave the happy couple a generous cash wedding gift. As far as I'm concerned, I've discharged my duty as her sister.

In the meantime, she's had her husband convert to our family's religion and now plans to have a religious wedding overseas in our family's country of origin.

He converted locally. They have a religious community they're part of locally. They've lived together for 4 years and co-own an apartment. They could have had one wedding, religious and legal combined; there was no rush regarding the timing of the legal wedding. In my view, this is just a way for them to get yet another holiday out of my parents.

The financial choices my parents make are their own and none of my business. I don't need their money, and don't make any claim to it.

That being said, I don't feel obligated to spend my money taking time off work and travelling overseas to attend my sister and BIL's second wedding/holiday.

When I thought about it, I realised I would rather be at work; I enjoy being at work more than time in my sister's company.

My mother is trying to emotionally blackmail me into going with the classic "...what will the family think?!"

I don't care what the family will think. If I'm taking time off work, and spending money, I want it to be on something I want to do and will enjoy. I've already discharged my duty in attending her wedding. So, AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/River-Lane-xx on 2025-04-03 20:17:20.

Edit to clarify title- we are looking at USED trucks. Said new as the truck would be new to us. Doesn’t change point of post much but wanted to be accurate.

Backstory - my husband and I got married last July but we've been together for a total of 7.5 years. We've always kept our finances separate but I've been wanting to merge accounts for a while to remove that feeling of "his and my" money and approach our finances as a team rather than two individuals. If it matters, he makes about $15-20k more a year than I do, but I have the most money in my savings account.

Long story short, his car has a lot of problems and he's been wanting a truck for a while. Logically, we really do need a truck to allow us to do more home renovations and be less reliant on family, but I'm not sure now is the right time.

I've asked him if we can set a goal to purchase a truck this summer so we can focus on saving up for a good down payment to lower our monthly payments and so we can remain secure with a "nest egg" in our bank account. I currently have $13k in my account - this includes both my savings and my checking account. He has anywhere from $5k-7k in his account typically. While I've kept my spending more frugal, he has, to be fair, spent more money on our home and daily needs as I work remote whereas he works in person so it's easier for him to grab last minute items throughout the week.

I want to make sure I am not making him look like he's being selfish, that's not the case, but I do think he is being immature. He asked me if we can go look at a $39k truck this weekend and is asking me to put $10k down. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not hoarding my money from him, but I grew up homeless, without basic needs, and I do not ever want to put myself into a position where I am struggling again. We are 100% not poor but I would feel very insecure dropping my account down by that much when I've been saving this money for YEARS. To add to the conflict, when I remind him we don't need the truck this minute and that we can use my car until say August/September, he says driving my car makes him feel like he's not a man.

I tried to tell him that there's nothing manlier than a man who puts his families financial interests before his wants, but he just clams up. He essentially told me that I obviously don't think of my bank account as ours and what I say is apparently the final say.

I've tried to have a mature conversation to weigh the pros and cons but he is legitimately pouting. I'm talking no eye contact, mono-syllable responses, and not engaging in the discussion. I don't want to have him feeling like his wants aren't valid, but how do I get him to see from my perspective? Or if necessary, how do I see from his when he won't give me anything more than "It's the only truck that meets our requirements within 500 sq miles, you have more money than I do, and your car is a chicks car"?

TLDR - my husband wants me to drop my bank account down to $3k so he can have a manly vehicle.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/meowmeow-2006 on 2025-04-03 20:10:17.

We had a substitute teacher today, and while taking attendance, she asked if she was pronouncing my name correctly. I told her she could pronounce it however she wanted—not to be rude, but because I genuinely don’t know how to say it myself. I have an ethnic name, but no one, not even my family, calls me by it. I was given an alias since I was three years old. Despite that, I was called disrespectful and sent out of class. 🫡

Edit to clarify:

I did tell her my alias. Conversation went like

Sub : "Name. Is that how you pronounce it?"

Me: "Yes. You can pronounce it however you want."

Sub: "Ok. How do you pronounce it?"

Me: "I'm not sure. I don't go by that name and no one in my class calls me by it either."

Sub: "What?"

Me: "I go by [Alias]. "

Sub: "But what's on the paper is [ N A M E]. "

silence..

Sub: "You can leave for being disrespectful."

Edit 2:

I only included the part where she could pronounce it however BECAUSE she was going around, asking anyone with a difficult to pronounce name how to pronounce it. I said it to be accommodating. But I can see how it could come off as otherwise.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Same_Drama_7346 on 2025-04-03 19:00:16.

This weekend I (20F) and two of my friends were supposed to be going out of town to celebrate my 21st birthday. Since I’m not a huge drinker we decided to go to a concert instead. For more context me and the two friends all work for the same hospitality group and we made reservations at only restaurants that were owned by the same company, but they book up really quickly for weekends and are difficult to get into as a walk in. Monday night the friend that had agreed to drive texted me asking if I would be able to leave at 9am and I said I would not since I have class that ends at 9:50 that day. This is met with a response saying that I would then have to drive separately. Which I had no intention of doing simply because of the mileage. (I drove us to our spring break trip which was 1600 miles round trip) i asked why the time of departure couldn’t be delayed and it was because the friend who was driving had planned a meeting at headquarters of the company we work for in hopes of an internship and they needed to be there before 2 that afternoon. Upon hearing this I said maybe it’s best I sit this trip out since I won’t be able to drive separately nor did I want my friend to miss out on this opportunity since it was important to them. I had no problem staying home. But after I said that my friend started telling me how all I do is judge her and be negative towards everything she does and how inconvenient this is with the trip being on my birthday weekend but she really needs the internship and how she thinks it’s time for us to go separate ways. In none of my messages to her was I being rude or trying to judge her for anything but her responding that way threw me off so I just told her I agree and left it at that. After I sold the concert tickets and canceled all the reservations. If someone who I thought was my friend decided to end a friendship of 6 years because of me letting them continue with a trip I had planned then I can only help by getting rid of all distraction so they can fully focus on the meeting. So AITA for doing all of that or should I have allowed them to continue with the plan that had been set for this trip?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/rainman50 on 2025-04-03 18:17:25.

I’m an immigrant professional man, I was married to an American woman for 8 years, things started out really well then we started to drift away, I was there for her when she was going to graduate school, took cash advances on my credit cards and supported her emotionally and financially. Keep in mind that she makes good money but she can’t manage her finances, she had filed for bankruptcy before I met her, we managed to get a house and cars based on my good credit. When it came the time for me to take a very important and very difficult professional exam, she felt like I wasn’t paying enough attention to her and started cheating with one of her friends’ husband! She left her email open one day and I saw the gruesome email exchange (I was already suspecting something)! Not only that but she was also pursuing two other men one of them was also married! I let her keep the house which we didn’t have tons of equity in it but I did pay half the mortgage on it for 5 years. However, I insisted we split her retirement account for which my half amounted to about 15k before tax. With that being said, I got my citizenship relatively fast thanks to that woman, I could’ve gotten it through employment but that would’ve been a longer more complicated route. This woman scarred me for life, she told me before marriage that she wanted children and that turned out to be a lie, I have struggled to maintain relationships ever since divorce. I got a word recently that she filed for a second bankruptcy. With all the stuff currently going on with immigration I keep thinking that I owe her even though she dragged me through hell. I keep thinking about paying her back the 15k after accounting for inflation. Keep in mind that she’s a nurse practitioner and makes excellent money possibly more than me. What do you think the correct course of action would be? There’s a good chance if I give her that money that she will blow it up on dumb stuff.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/PresidentPikachu on 2025-04-03 17:18:10.

About 1.5yrs ago my (33F) husband's (32m) three siblings decided they were each going to give $100/mo to their parents (66F and lower 60sM). My husband lost his job last May and stopped contributing the $100, and his unemployment payments ran out in December. We have been living off of my salary and he donates plasma, we share money and discuss all expenses but I have the final financial say (it was that way before as well, because I'm very good with money and he prefers me to take care of it). He was making about the same as me before so we've had to adjust our lifestyle a ton with our income being cut in half, but there are some fun things we still do, like we still travel occasionally because we have points for flights and we stay with friends for free.

Last night he got called to a family meeting where he found out his dad is leaving his mom, this has happened before a few times and they worked it out but this time it seems final. They own their house fully and his dad said he would be willing to sign it away to MIL for $25k, the house is worth a lot now as it's in a rapidly gentrifying neighborhood so this is wayyyy less than his half would be if they sold it.

My husband and his siblings got dinner after to discuss the situation and how they were going to help their mom, and during that conversation they got onto him about not contributing the monthly $100. They said it was a bad look that we are still going on trips. He explained that they are very cheap trips because we don't pay for flights or lodging and said he has no income. They basically said it should come out of my income then since we're a household.

He asked me if we could contribute the monthly $100 and I said not until he has a job and we stabilize. We squeak by but we are not in any position to have another monthly bill. He understood, as he always does.

Some additional context, my MIL is a lovely person and I also get along super well with his siblings. There is a bit of a cultural difference at play here, because I come from a culture where parents would rather die than take money from their children and in his culture it's common for children to financially support their parents. I love my MIL but I don't feel great knowing that we are her retirement plan to be honest, especially since we plan to have kids of our own soon and I would also like us to retire someday. It's $100 a month now but I know this monthly amount isn't going to be the end of it and it doesn't quite sit right with me, even outside of our current financial situation, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

TL;DR: Husband doesn't have a job. His siblings want us to continue give their mom $100 a month like we used to for both parents because we still travel and I told him we can't until he has a job.

I genuinely want to know the truth because I'm feeling weird about the whole thing, AITA for being the reason we are not currently contributing $100 a month to my in-law(s)?

EDIT: To address some frequent questions/points:

-It's pretty clear they do not plan on supporting their dad financially, he has been crappy in the way he has treated their mom so as far as I know, the monthly support in the future would be going to just mom.

-Mom plans to take out a loan for the 25k. Dad is asking for it in exchange for signing his rights away. The best solution would definitely be to pay the 25k first and get it in her name, and then sell the house and she gets all the proceeds. If she kept it the house would be later inherited by him and his siblings, but it makes more sense to all of them (and me) for mom to have the money while she's alive. But she does not seem to want to sell the house. We'll see what happens.

-Mom works at a chain tax-prep place, dad doesn't work. They are not disabled.

-The money started because sister found out parents got food from a food bank

-Husband absolutely does need to get a job, he has had some good interviews lately so hopefully he hears something positive back

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Admirable_Eagle_5917 on 2025-04-03 16:36:37.

Recently we had to move some important stuff out of our family storage because of a rat chewing things up. I brought home a large chest full of family scrapbooks and pictures. It looks like an old timey pirate treasure chest with a cartoonishly large padlock.

One of my roommates noticed it and asked to look inside. I told him what is was but didn’t have the key to open it. He then asked if I could break the lock so he could conform with his own eyes. I said no because it wasn’t mine to break and my family liked the charm of the lock. He got upset and insisted I either show him what’s inside or get it out the house. He’s worried there might be a weapon inside, for context he has trauma from any sort of weapon.

I tried assuring him there was nothing like that inside but he kept insisting I open it. I would take it out the house but i don’t want my parents to have to lug this over 100 pound chest up the stairs and no one can put their hands on the key My other roommate says I should just open it to give him peace of mind AITA because I don’t want to open it.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Gamestonk5000 on 2025-04-03 16:29:09.

I (29m) do not want to be around my gf's (28F) extended family. They are nice people, but get sick very often, and have a habit of touching food with their hands when serving. The last few times I went I got sick, because one of the members had a fever and still showed up. Last time specifically, one of the older family members was recovering from a cold, and my gf didn't tell me, and when I got there he looked visibly sick. She then said "how are you feeling", which clued me in that she already knew he was sick. I couldn't leave immediately, the room was small and crowded, and of course I got sick. The grandparents who come are also very old, in their 90s. I do not want to show up anymore because I cannot afford to be sick for a week every time we hang out, and I think they are eventually going to kill the grandparents. I don't want to be the guy that says I'm never going to family gatherings though as it puts my GF in a weird spot after dating for 7 years. At this point though, I've pretty much decided I'm not doing dinners with the extended family. AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Deerman_Crybaby on 2025-04-03 16:03:10.

I've been at my job for 3 years now and in personal and professional conversation, my worker continually interrupts me. Not just me, it's everyone. Usually, someone will start to speak and after about 2 seconds, he will interrupt. Not always about the same subject, sometimes he will just spark into a completely different topic. There's professional conversations that have to happen and we literally sit next to each other. Always thought that's just how his brain works or he's got a different communication style...

Recently, I started just literally talking louder and not stopping when he interrupts. It usually leads to both of us talking for 1-2 seconds... sometimes he will stop/slow-down and sometimes he just keeps going almost ignoring what I'm saying. I feel crazy and I feel like everyone else at work notices. I asked him to just stop interrupting me but when I brought this up to a friend, they said that's an asshole move (didn't work btw). Am I an asshole?