Am I the Asshole?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Sad_Macaroon17 on 2025-02-19 14:10:16.

So, I (22F) have done a bit of modeling—nothing major, just product modeling for smaller clothing brands. Yesterday, I had an audition for a gig, and my brother (19M) came with me because he knows I get nervous before auditions.

This particular clothing brand is pretty niche, and honestly, the style is much more in line with what my brother wears—lots of pinks, pastels, lace, and frills. I dressed normally and went into my audition, but unfortunately, I didn’t get it.

When I came out, I saw my brother talking to one of the employees, and to my surprise, the guy asked if my brother was auditioning. My brother said no, and the guy encouraged him to try out because he thought he’d be a good fit. I was caught off guard but played along because the worker was still there.

After the guy left, I told my brother I didn’t get the gig, and he seemed sad for me and tried to console me. I figured that was the end of it, but as I was about to leave, he asked where I was going. I told him I was heading home, and then he asked, "What about my audition?" I was completely shocked.

I didn’t expect him to want to audition after I was just rejected. I asked if he was seriously doing this to me, and he just shrugged and said he didn’t see why he shouldn’t try. I called him selfish and left.

A few hours later, my brother came home and announced that he had been offered one of the modeling spots. I had already told our parents that I got rejected and what my brother did, and my mom was on my side, asking him how he could do that to me. But my dad immediately took his side, saying that me and my mom were being unreasonable.

He also scolded me for leaving without my brother (since I was his ride) and even insinuated that I was just jealous. I’m not jealous—I just think it’s incredibly rude and selfish to go after something your sibling wanted but couldn’t have. He knew I wanted it, and instead of supporting me, he took the opportunity for himself. My brother thinks I’m an ass, but I really don’t see how I’m the bad guy here. AITA?

Edit: my brother is not even a model, he has no experience. and i know i wont get every job, i understand that. its the *he* went for the job. competition exists in the industry, my familial betrayal isnt competition

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/bluezberries on 2025-02-19 14:01:46.

AITAH for not eating during family dinner?

I (19F) am invited to a family dinner but I never eat in front of people due to my selective mutism disorder.

my family wants me to come to family dinner and when I came I wasn't be able to eat in front of them so I got back to a room where I was alone and ate alone now they are calling me rude because I eat alone at family dinner which they told me to come to. AITAH for not eating during family dinner due to my selective mutism?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Lazy-Reflection-6564 on 2025-02-19 13:53:45.

Hi everybody this is my first time posting here or posting anything at all so sorry if i do somethinf wrong and English is not my first language so sorry for any spelling mistakes. Im a (M) (16) and my mother F (40), have gotten in a big fight. Alright so here's the backstory:

We recently went out to eat and while doing so i was not in a very good mood since school (im in 11th grade btw) have gotten stressful with all the tests and sudden work so safe to say i wasnt in a good mood and throught the dinner they kept asking me whats wrong (all day actually) when nothing was wrong, they suddenly bombarded me with questions like who's bullying you etc and i said no one and i have been talking a lot online with my friend who we'll call B. So thry asked if its a catfish and i kept defending B witch made me annoyed since my parents want to know everything about me and thry get way to invested in it, so i got fed up and said i'll walk out of the dinner if they keep doing this and that pissed my mom off and skip to a day later she blindsides me with new rules, i have to do all my chores for the day and do school work before relaxing now thats not the issue, the issue is she wants to take my phone away after 9pm (my "bed time") and she did. I asked her why and she said its because im always tired, in a bad mood and always late for school (witch i never have gotten in trouble for being late because im always in class in time) but i told her im always tired because of school and its been raining a lot recently witch effects my mood and about being late, but she wont listen to me.

Present time:

Today i told my mom its unfair to take my phone away sure kaybe i have been slacking recently and i get the no video games through the week but i have a life outside of school, i have a life outside of the house. Im the group therapist in my friendgroup, and most of the times they ask me at night to help them, to comfort them and even i need some comfort at night witch B helps with, shes honestly my rock recently since well my mom doesnt really care how i feel all she cares about is school. So i need to help my friends if that means sacraficing my sleep (witch i dont have a problem with) to help them and i like helping people, but i cannot do that if shes keeping my phone at night, I also would like to add the second reason im gonna ignore my mom, she said to me in the car when we were arguing "when you make your own money and as long ad you live under my roof you will do as i say" witch i feel is mega unfair to me. She doesnt respect me and she doesnt really care how i feel.

Sooooo yeah, thats bacically about it

So dear people of Reddit, WIBTA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/937-Bitch-Brigade on 2025-02-19 13:35:18.

Am I the asshole for telling my mom that I refuse to take care of her or take her to her chemotherapy if she continues to smoke? She has stage ng cancer and I feel like it's not fair for her to expect me to be her caretaker and support person if she doesn't even take care of herself.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Unlucky-Literature35 on 2025-02-19 13:10:41.

My bf (26m) came home from the gym in the morning and was getting ready for work. I (29f) was able to go in to work a bit later than normal so I wasn’t rushing out the door. I came in to his room to talk and say hi for a few minutes since we don’t normally get to do this as part of our routine. I was mainly the one initiating the conversation during this time as he was getting ready. He opened a bottle of a new supplement and took one. I had never seen or heard of the supplement before so I asked him what it was for. He replied “I don’t know”. I felt that his response didn’t make sense because he spent time purchasing the supplement online and must have bought it for a specific purpose. I felt that he was just trying to brush me off and end the conversation. I said that he must have bought is for a specific purpose but he wouldn’t answer me and walked out of the room without responding. I followed him to the kitchen where a fight began because he felt like the response “I don’t know” was a good enough answer and all he knew was that it was an ingredient found in red bull that helps you relax. I understand that he probably didn’t know much about the supplement and he was stressed and in a rush to get to work. From my perspective, it seems like he just didn’t want to be having a conversation with me in the first place because he was in a bad mood/stressed getting ready for work. Couldn’t he have communicated to me that now was a bad time to talk instead of brushing me off and getting angry? AITA for taking his response personally?

Edit:

Thank you everyone for the honest feedback. I really struggle with having an anxious attachment style. I think I picked up on his stressed mood and my mind started thinking it must be something to do with me or our relationship. When I get in that mode I start looking for things that I can use to prove my anxiety is true. His “idk” response was just the perfect opportunity for my brain to find confirmation to support my idea that his mood was off because of me. I am aware I have a lot of self-growth to do and I appreciate everyone taking the time to reply and help me gain perspective about the situation.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/bluezberries on 2025-02-19 13:07:30.

AITAH for isolating myself because of my selective mutism?

I (19F) have selective mutism disorder, which has been a part of my life since childhood (Diagnosed at 3 years old). It's gotten better over the years, but I still struggle to speak in certain situations—especially with people I don't know

Lately, I’ve been avoiding social situations altogether because of it. For example, I’ve been declining invitations to group gatherings with my friends. They’ve been supportive, but I know they’re starting to get frustrated with me. I’ve told them that I’m not trying to be rude, but the anxiety of speaking in those situations is overwhelming. When I’m around a lot of people or people I don’t feel comfortable with, I can’t get myself to talk.

Last weekend, my friends threw a birthday party, and they specifically asked me to come. I wanted to support them, but I just couldn’t bring myself to attend because I knew I would freeze up and be unable to talk. I texted them and said I couldn’t make it because I wasn’t feeling well, but they all got upset with me. One friend told me that they were “getting tired” of my excuses and that I needed to stop isolating myself. I felt terrible, but I honestly didn’t know how to handle the situation.

Now, I’m feeling guilty. I know they care about me, but I’m so embarrassed by my selective mutism that I don’t want to be around anyone who might judge me for it. AITA for avoiding social events because of my selective mutism?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Open-Intention-2066 on 2025-02-19 12:05:56.

Hey all-my mother (61f) and I (29f) I have been barely maintaining a relationship since I was in middle school. She's not a bad person exactly, but I think a lot of her personal traumas and life experiences have made her someone who takes out her feelings on others. She always has to be the center of attention, and gets very upset when she is not. I try to encourage her to seek therapy but she refuses.

We've had many periods of no contact due to her behavior over the years, but-perhaps foolishly-I’m currently trying again to talk with her semi-regularly.

Eventually, I am getting married to my long-time partner. We have a ring but we've never set a date because the whole process is really stressing both of us out, as we are not particularly close to either of our families. He only has one parent, who is currently on low contact due to an addiction and history of abuse.

A couple months ago, I floated the idea of just inviting our two best friends out (as we do not live in the country anymore) so we can elope and then spend a few days celebrating with people who loved/supported us for years. The plan would be that we rent a nice hotel for the four of us, without making a big deal of any traditions. This way, we could later have dinner with both of our families separately (our families do not talk to each other) and nobody feels like they were singled out. My mother hated the idea.

Today, she called (one of many times) and asked us again to fly back to her town for the event but I said no. My partner and I had talked about it already and neither of us think it would be fair to have a wedding that we don’t want and where only one half of the family can attend. She blew up.

She screams at me about how I don't love her or respect her. I explain to her again that I'm not trying to make his family feel like they were purposely left out, and she says "how will they know? We don't talk". But we all know they will eventually find out, obviously.

She then went on to say that it's her right as my mother to be there and it’s unnatural for someone not to want their mother at their wedding, and I clearly don't really love my partner to rob him of a wedding (which he wants less than me). "You're probably subconsciously unhappy and you're marrying for the wrong reasons". It was both bizarre and complete nonsense.

I told her we could plan a nice dinner after the elopement and do whatever she wanted then. We just want something different.

I really don't want to create problems, and I thought it was the best choice...but now I’m worried I could be wrong. My partner and I moved far away to try and give us space to be ourselves, build a life, and recover from a lot of things in our childhood. I want to try and repair things with my mother, but it always ends up in arguments and guilt trips. We aren't even engaged and I feel like my blood pressure is through the roof every time I think about this silly wedding.

AITA for wanting to elope without family in order to keep peace?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/bluezberries on 2025-02-19 12:01:04.

AITAH for Not Speaking to My Boyfriend’s Parents Even Though I Can Talk?

I (19F) have selective mutism, which means that in certain social situations, especially under stress, I physically cannot speak. My boyfriend (22M) knows this and has always been understanding. However, his parents recently invited us over for dinner, and things did not go well.

I had never met them before, and as soon as we arrived, I felt overwhelmed. My body just shut down, and I couldn’t get any words out. I smiled, nodded, and used gestures, but I didn’t say a single word the entire evening.

His parents were polite at first but got visibly frustrated. His mom asked me multiple times if I was okay, and his dad made a joke about me being “too good to talk to them.” My boyfriend tried to explain, but they seemed to take it personally.

After we left, my boyfriend said he understood but admitted it was awkward and that he wished I had "at least tried" to say something. Later, his mom sent him a text saying she found my silence “rude” and that she’s worried I’m being disrespectful.

Now I feel guilty. I didn’t choose to be silent, but I also know first impressions matter. AITAH?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Puzzleheaded_Judge97 on 2025-02-19 10:50:22.

My husband and I had a party. A friend's brother spilled an entire plate of food on my chair and it's ruined. She insisted on paying me for it. (She takes care of him financially). She sent me many texts and a few phone calls wanting to pay for the damage. I kept telling her not to worry about it. It was an accident. At one point she did get nasty and blame my paper plates for being too flimsy! I had 20 other guests use them without issues.

She suddenly venmo'd me money I did not ask for. I told her it was too much but she insisted I keep it so I did. I think maybe Im TA for not returning it. I did have to buy a new chair that cost more than she gave me, she does not know this.

Now she will not talk to me! She has dropped me from all social media. I am beyond confused. She can be a bully and this has the potential to get very nasty. Think I may be the TA for accepting the money.

AITA for accepting the money when she insisted on giving it to me or is she TA for being mad at me for this?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/HugBalancingAct on 2025-02-19 10:43:49.

My BF [28M] (let's call him Bob) and I [26F] have been dating for almost a year. I also have a best friend (let's call him Alex) since childhood. Alex and I hang out all the time. Bob has always said that he's okay with that since the very beginning. If he wasn't okay with it, I wouldn't have agreed to date him.

Plus, it's not like we're intentionally leaving Bob out. Alex has a very free work schedule, so it's super easy for him to find time to hang out. Bob works all the time. A lot of the time when I invite Bob to come along, he's busy with work. Oftentimes, even if he's not busy with work, he just doesn't want to come.

For example, Alex and I like watching horror movies. When we invite Bob to watch with us, he refuses.

Alex and I like japanese food. When we invite Bob to come and try a new restaurant, he refuses because he likes his fish cooked.

I got us tickets for a comedy show, but Bob decided he wasn't really vibing with the comedian after all, so I gave the tickets to Alex and we went instead.

I wanted to take cooking classes together, but Bob wasn't interested. Alex offered to teach me how to cook instead (it's his hobby and he's an excellent cook) so I don't waste money on classes, so I've been spending a lot of him in his house and GIANT kitchen.

Recently, Bob blew up at me. He was yelling at me about how he's always been suspicious about Alex and me, and how he's banning me from continuing with my cooking classes because we're spending too much time together. He thinks I'm "emotionally cheating" on him, and how I don't treat him like a boyfriend, but I treat Alex like my boyfriend so I should go make Alex happy and go date him instead.

I'm just really confused because Alex is gay and he's had a boyfriend of several years. Bob has met Alex's boyfriend. He's been to lot of the house parties they've hosted. However, we unfortunately live in a place where being gay still carries a lot of stigma, so Alex and his boyfriend have never been super in-your-face about it. Which means that Bob never got it through his thick skull that they were together.

Now he's super mad at me for "making him suffer" and giving him "anxiety". He says that if I had just told him that Alex was gay, then he wouldn't have been so worried. I said that that's none of my business and not my information to disclose, and if he was so concerned, why didn't he come to me and have a proper discussion about it? All of his previous GF have cheated on him, and he thinks that since I knew that why didn't I just tell him anyway?

AITA for not telling Bob that Alex is gay, and thus relieving him of a lot of anxiety

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/mike_ie on 2025-02-19 06:38:39.

My (now ex) fiancé moved over to the US about a year and a half ago, and at the time she asked me for the loan of $1000, which I happily gave her. As to why it was a loan and not a gift, I’d already gifted a lot, and the phrase “loan” was hers and not mine, to the point where she messaged me afterwards to say “I owe XXXX $1000” by means of a record.

The following year and a half was a turbulent one - she got there with the idea that the streets were paved in gold (they’re not), didn’t follow up on her student visa, worked illegally and then claimed asylum without my knowledge, to list a few issues. Last October, she broke up with me via a 5 minute video call, and went no contact after a few messy conversations where I was trying to figure out what was going on.

Fast forward to February, where she posted on social media a screenshot of a valentines message she received from some guy there. I’m not going to pretend it didn’t hurt - it did, the whole ordeal has, and I feel a lot of her posts were aimed to get a reaction. But I left it a few days and sent her a screenshot of her original message stating that she owed me money, along with a screenshot of my bank details. No nasty message, just “please transfer to this account ASAP.”

Her response - to her credit she did transfer the money, but then immediately blocked me everywhere immediately afterwards.

AITA for requesting my money back?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Specialist-Ladder608 on 2025-02-19 05:47:31.

I 31 Female have decided to leave my husband 34 male after finding out he's cheated but it was two years ago . We have three young kids under 5 and I was pregnant with our youngest child when i found out he was cheating oct 2022 . I was in massage therapy school at the time . I had a funny feeling so I came home early that day he wasn't at home but all the lights were on so I felt weird I drove down to the bar he is normally at opened his truck door and he has his pants halfway down with a female in the car .. did I. Or mention he was also facing a federal sentence at this time . It was a lot going on . I left him that day but he claimed he wanted to stay in the marriage me being pregnant and vulnerable I stayed . But it doesn't stop there he kept disrespecting me with this same girl up until he left to go to the prison so I had honestly gave up but then once he got off of quarantine when he got to prison he's been calling me everyday for the entire time he's been in there communicating with me and the kids , I feel like there has been some change in him but it could also be jail talk . But honestly I'm over it I just want to move on I can't ever forget what he's done . Plus that wasn't the first time he cheated he cheated on me right when I gave birth to our first son . Am I the asshole for moving to an entire state away without telling him even though I've still been talking to him for these two years

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Strange_Shift_2522 on 2025-02-19 04:29:19.

If my partner (28) is drinking every night, am i in the wrong for being upset? Little back story…don’t want to be to detailed incase this post is seen. So my partner has been very disrespectful when they have drank towards be (verbally abusive) and we have had talks about it not being okay, I have stated how i do not like the drinking and it needed to stop well has time goes on the drinking had been hidden….well they tried to hide it and i always find out which has now turned into lies about drinking. it has become almost an every day thing maybe 4 days out of the month they don’t drink, I have said i can’t be with someone like that and they say im weird and trippin because it’s not a big deal and they aren’t disrespectful anymore so what’s the issue with it. I have said it’s an issue for me and i don’t not like it and there is no reason to drink every single day and if they didn’t change i could no longer be in the relationship and they were going to make me feel crazy for reacting like this. So what would you do? Am i over reacting?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Tricky_Jellyfish_324 on 2025-02-19 04:16:09.

My husband and I have been going around and around over a lot that we were gonna purchase. We initially were going to purchase it and then decided we didn’t want it anymore . Then we decided maybe we wanted it . We found out the owner was going to sell it and then my husband told his father about the lots and he purchased both of them. The lots were about 15k each . For some reason I thought he had his dad get them until we could buy them ourself . That was not the case . Apparently I “misunderstood that” . Moving forward. My husband asked his dad about purchasing the one lot so we could build a house and his father said he wanted 25k for the lot because he needed to recoup some money . I’m not happy about this . I can’t imagine profiting off of my own children and I thought it was a joke when he said that . It however was not a joke . We do not own a home . We have been renting for over 14 years . I was so upset about this I talked to my pastor who seemed to understand why I am angry . My grown children live on the next few lots over with my grandchildren or I would not even be considering moving there. It has caused several arguments between my husband and myself . He is willing to pay them what they want and I just want him to acknowledge that it’s wrong of them . All he says is that he would not do that to his kids but doesn’t think it’s wrong . I’m having trouble letting go of how I feel …. So am I the asshole ?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Standard_Display6293 on 2025-02-19 03:23:35.

This is a throwaway and all names have been changed. To explain the relationships here, I, 30f, married my husband, Alex 31m about a year ago, but we’ve been together for four years. He was previously married and after they had agreed to divorce, she told him she was pregnant. We’ll call his ex Kate, 30f. Kate had been cheating on Alex with Jess, 32f, for about a year. I had known Alex for years through mutual friends and I met his son when he was 6 months old.

So present day, kate and jess are together still, but very hot and cold. I went to pick up my stepson from school, Jess had dropped him off, and he seemed quiet and sad, I asked him what was wrong and he said he was sad because he had no hair. He has beautiful curly hair he told us he wanted to grow out into a mullet. At that time, my husband cleared it with his mom that they were both ok with that, and she agreed to have me trim it as needed like around his ears.

He took his hat off and it was buzzed down to his scalp. I was shocked but just said ‘well I think you look very handsome but I thought you wanted to grow it out, why did you cut it’

Apparently Jess was going to ‘trim’ it and forgot to put a guard on, when she realized that, it was too late and she had to buzz it.

When we got home I called kate. She didn’t know how bad the haircut was and was tied up at a work event. She suggested I make sure I get the whole story on what happened so with her permission I went right to Jess after I called my husband, who was driving home from a couple hours away, and explained what was going on.

So I call Jess, ask to verify what he said and tell her how upset he was. She said that is exactly what happened but didn’t see why it was such a big deal. She kept saying I’m overreacting and it’s just hair so I tried to explain that as a kid there’s so much he doesn’t get a say in, so it was a big deal to him. I told her she should never go near his head with clippers again.

She came back with ‘well you’re not his mom’ and when I reminded her she wasn’t either she said ‘I’m a hell of a lot closer than you, I’ve been there since day 1’ to which I said ‘yeah, because you were an affair partner. Don’t cut his hair again’ and hung up.

I called my husband back to explain everything and calm down, he had been on the phone with kate discussing things as well, and I texted Kate to give an overview and say I was sorry if I overreacted.

It’s the next day and Jess is trying to tell Kate I shouldn’t be allowed to cut his hair if she can’t, and i need to get my ‘parenting privileges’ taken away. I think that’s crazy. And just to clarify my role as a stepparent, kate and my husband meet twice a year alone to discuss parenting things, and at the last one kate said she is comfortable with seeing me as a parent and is ready to include me in the meetings going forward. But AITAH for being upset with Jess for not only buzzing his hair but for how she reacted trying to minimize it?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRA-Sweetest on 2025-02-19 03:22:36.

My fiancé and I are planning for our wedding later this year. For background, both of us are Asian so both families are very strict. I have a lot of tattoos. My parents don’t like them and my mom really hates it whenever I wear something that shows my tattoos. My fiancé’s family has seen the tattoos on my arm but not on my back (about 1/2 of my back). I don’t know how they feel about it but my fiancé doesn’t care and he thinks my tattoos look great (btw, fiancé also has a couple tattoos). Another thing is my fiancé is a doctor, most of his family and friends are doctors.

My mom said lots of older people from both families will be attending and lots of them are doctors so she wants me to wear something more conservative. I bought a long sleeves, high neck wedding dress that basically covers most of my tattoos because I considered my parents’ feelings. I like the dress but it’s not really myself so I ordered a custom designed dress to wear for the first look then change to the other one for the reception. This dress is a little more revealing (strapless, sleeveless, corset style) so my back tattoos will be showing. My fiancé thinks I should just wear this one to the reception because he wants me to wear what I truly want. I told him I don’t know how his family will feel about it but he doesn’t care.

I was pretty much set on wearing the high neck dress at the reception even though fiancé keeps telling me to wear the other one. But this morning when I told my mom I ordered a 2nd dress, she started shaming me. She said it’s trashy to show my tattoos in front of everyone, I’d look ugly in that dress because I have a big scar on my chest (It took me a long time to be okay with wearing V neck because of this scar), and how it would be disrespectful to my fiancé and his family. I was heartbroken. I feel like these are very mean comments, especially about my look on my wedding day. My fiancé is very upset for me. He insists I wear the custom made dress to the reception. He doesn’t care what anyone says. I’m considering wearing that dress too but I don’t know if I would be the AH, especially when it could potentially embarrass my parents in from of everyone.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Empty-Victory2537 on 2025-02-19 02:58:32.

I (23F) moved in with my aunt 6 yrs ago after she offered that I stay with her family instead of the college dorms. I figured living with them was a good deal, especially since she and her husband traveled a lot and would be out of the house for months at a time.

My aunt and uncle didn’t pay rent because they traveled a lot so my two cousins and I paid the rent and bills, but they still let me pay less than them. 2 yrs ago, their eldest brother, Mark 37 moved in with us after his gf of 14 yrs broke up with him because he still hadn't proposed to her and had no intention of marrying or having kids with her. His gf was the one who supported him financially. He’d struggled to get the pharmacist job he wanted because of an exam? he had to take and his bad exam anxiety. 

It was only temporary, so this wasn't a problem until I realized how he was. Useless around the house and constantly peed on my toilet seat. His mom would apologize to me when it happened, clean up after him and would ask me to just endure it and pretend he wasn't even there. I let it go because her second son, Nick 29 paid more rent than his sister Amanda 26 and I, and Amanda made our meals and did some of the housework.

Then about a year ago my share of the rent increased. Amanda and I were now paying the same amount in rent, and Nick was paying about $150 more than us. That's when I noticed Mark wasn’t paying rent. Still I let it go.

Another year passed and Amanda got serious with her bf and left the house more often. It’s when I realized she was cleaning up after him more than I thought, and with her gone, it was on me. We couldn’t say anything to him because "he was way older than us and we would only embarrass and pour salt in his wound".

Then, two months ago her bf's new job moved him to TX and she wants to be with him. This is the perfect moment to move out, so I'm thinking this is the time we all go our separate ways, but a few days ago, my aunt calls and says Amanda and I are being selfish for wanting to move out at this time, and begs that we stay a few more months until Mark gets on his feet, and that if we begin moving out Nick will inevitably do the same and no one will be there to support Mark. She says that the reason he isn't doing well right now is because of his anxiety and his chronic disease- an illness we actually both share. Amanda ended up agreeing to wait until our lease is up in August, but I told her I wasn't sure about it because I had already found myself a roommate and even began looking for places together. My aunt says that I rushed into it just to have an excuse to leave because I can't put up with her son, I lack empathy, and that I'm ungrateful after everything they'd done for me, and I hate to say that there is some truth to that.

Amanda says she's disappointed because she thought I'd stay to help with the rent at least until the lease was up, if not for Mark then for her, but I don't know, am I really the asshole here?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/IllustriousUnion6957 on 2025-02-18 17:23:16.

Hi Reddit this is my first post on here. For a little background I am home from college for break. So my mom and I decided we were going to run some errands together but had to wait until later in the afternoon because her boyfriend was taking her car. This whole conversation was over a phone call because she was in her room and called me. The thing is, her boyfriend just got a new car for himself that my mom paid half for. I asked “why doesn’t he take his car so we can go earlier?” She went silent and didn’t give me a reason. I then said “oh or you can drive his car if he’s taking yours” she said she was too scared to drive it. I then said “why did you guys buy a new car if nobody drives it” in a half joking but also serious intentions way. She did not give me an answer and we hung up the phone. I later got a text from her saying it was so disrespectful of me to say that and that her boyfriend was listening on the phone and was very hurt by my comment. I am very confused because it was a genuine question and I do not see how it could hurt someone? Please let me know what you think!

UPDATE: told her about people backing me up and she said this through text :

Omg fuckin enough my name!!! These people don't know our life to be saying shit!! I want to ask people who actually know us, not someone random folks...enough with this crap!!! U just dont get it and obviously NEVER will...I'm done talking....and I don't know when I will be home yet so when I'm home, I'm home and then we can do what u need to do but it might not be close to 5 but who knows. This is taking longer than i thought.

And I said:

So your friends who go along with what you say no matter what? Instead of getting an unbiased perspective which is the most accurate you want people who will validate you and make you feel good.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Mercator87 on 2025-02-19 02:02:12.

My partner, who I'll call Nate, and I have been together for 5 years. He has two wonderful girls from his previous marriage (Lily 10 and Sarah 6) and he has 50% custody. Nate was understandably protective of his girls and didn't want to introduce me until he was sure I would be around for a good long while. I met them a year after we started dating and was in their lives consistently since then. Nate and I have plans to get married and we're currently looking for a house together. Over a year ago I moved into his current house and I'm a step-mom to his girls in everything but title. The girls and I get along very well and I love them very much. We spend a lot of time together, live in the same home, go on family trips together, and have become a family unit.

This past year Nate has made a real effort to include me in all holidays and family events, which the girls have been very happy about.

The girls' school has an annual family dance. You buy tickets, there's a theme and dinner and everyone dresses up and they take formal family photos. Last year I'd just moved in, so I stayed home while Nate and the girls went with their mom. Nate told me that next year (this year) would be better to include me.

Fast forward to now and the girls told me how excited they were for me to come. I was so happy to be included this year and have a fun dance with them. I even picked out a dress to wear that matched their theme.

A week later Nate says, I feel so bad telling you this, but the girls don't want you to come to the dance. He said they wanted it to just be them and their mom and dad. I could tell that Nate had no idea how badly he'd just hurt me, but I was completely crushed. I asked him if I wasn't a member of the family, and he said I was. I asked then why the kids would get to make the decision to exclude a family member. He didn't have an answer. I told him that even if they hadn't wanted their mom or dad to go, they wouldn't have been allowed to make the decision to exclude them.

The entire thing makes me feel like I'm some kind of optional add-on. It's especially hurtful that I consider them my family but they and my partner get to make the decision on whether I'm invited to a family event. I do get that the girls would love to play pretend for the night in a public setting that their parents are still together. That it's more comfortable and easier for them. I really blame Nate for allowing them the power to exclude a family member (as I have been told I am one). As I mentioned before, it would be unthinkable for them to exclude their mom if Lily didn't feel like having her there, or Sarah being excluded because Lily didn't want her to go.

I am also sad and grossed out to think of them all playing a happy family together while I sit at home. I've worked so hard for years to build loving and supportive relationships with these girls, and my partner just let them dismiss me like I'm just some kind of family friend.

So AITAH for getting so upset about this?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Opening_Can_4066 on 2025-02-19 01:44:24.

Is it wrong that I lashed out on my mom for getting mad for me for going to the gym? I started going to the gym senior year of high school because my family was constantly calling me fat and making fun of my body and I was going through eating issues. Literally my whole life I got called fat. Even at 150-160 ( I am 5’7) my family would call me fat and degrade my body. I was sick of it and used my anger into going into the gym. I ended up losing weight. Then one day (two years later when I was a freshman in college) I went downstairs to cook beef. I told my mom I saw one of her friend at the gym. She then proceeded to have an attitude the whole conversation. She was saying how I’m not eating healthy because the beef is red meat and I need to be eating more chicken. And she was saying how all I care about is my looks and I don’t put this much energy in praying. I put all my energy into the gym. And this triggered a meltdown and I proceeded to say “well you always would call me fat, so why do you have an issue with me going to the gym”? My aunt was there and told me to shut up and how disrespectful I am. An then she threw an object at me. And I called her a bully and started crying. Then my sibling was also proceeding to call me fat all the time, and make fun of me for being big. Telling people how fat I gotten. My family has been really cruel when it came to my weight and I’m sick of it. But was I wrong for what I said? Because she keeps bringing up how I called her a bully.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/inked_reiki on 2025-02-19 01:08:06.

I have a frien, who just got back from a fancy vacation—think five-star hotels, designer shopping, and gourmet restaurants. She was posting about it nonstop. A week later, she suddenly texts me freaking out that she can’t afford rent and asks to borrow $500.

I told her no because, honestly, I think it’s her own fault. If you can afford luxury, you should be able to afford basic necessities, right? She got mad, called me a bad friend, and now she’s ignoring me. Some of our mutual friends even said I was being cold and that "not everyone has the same financial mindset."

I feel like I was just holding her accountable, but now I’m wondering—AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Top-Lead-2476 on 2025-02-19 00:59:37.

So me and my boyfriend would have regular nightly calls. We’re both sophomores in high school (different schools), I’m taking biology this year and I took chemistry last year while he’s taking chemistry this year. Since he’s taking chem this year I already know most of the things he’s learning and more. One night, we were calling and he was telling me about what he learned in chem that day. He learned about cancer and radiation and when people get radiation therapy, the radiation will kill any cell which it’s pointed at. I already know this but I let him mansplain it to me. My school is known to be very rigorous when it comes to classes. Especially science classes. Just to get an A in biology I needed to study everyday for 3 hours for my final, so you kinda get how hard it is. So all this studying is basically engraved in my head and I started contributing to the conversation and telling him more about cancer. He has this hyper fixation on radiation and somehow believes that it can fix many things just because he learned about it in class. So I was explaining how cancer works, proto-onco gene and tumor suppressor gene, mutations, and other factors as well. He starts telling me these ridiculous ideas how we can “fix cancer” with radiation. Which okay, you can get rid of some cancer with radiation but not for all cases and then he’s like “what if we researched ways to pinpoint the radiation into the dna and unmutate the mutation”. At this point i’m kinda losing my mind on how stupid this sounds. First of all, you can’t pinpoint radiation into DNA, INTO A SPECIFIC GENE LOL. And even if you could, you would have to do that to every single cell affected by cancer which could also lead to more cancer. So I’m trying to explain this to him, how it wouldn’t work and i’m getting really frustrated. Then he tells me more ideas and I’m just like “no that’s not gonna work”. Eventually, we’re both getting angry and he says “Why do you never believe in me??” and i’m like “I do but these ideas are just stupid!?”, then he says “fuck this” and ends the call. I obviously feel really bad and i try to call him back but he dosent answer. After a few minutes he calls me in tears and says that I really hurt his feelings that even if his ideas wouldn’t work, I could’ve at least believed in him and cheered him on. At this point, I don’t really know what to say because his family is not very supportive of him and I’m probably the only person in his life to support him. In the end, we did resolve it but am I in the wrong for proving his ideas wrong even if I was a little rude? P.S- To any biologists reading this, if I get something wrong, feel free to correct me 😭

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Stressed_Owl_1234 on 2025-02-19 00:57:25.

AITA -I am getting married and invited my 4 closest friends to be my bridesmaids. We’ve been friends for over 10 years. We’ve always talked about taking an overseas trip, so I suggested we do it before my wedding. Everyone seemed keen since we’ve all been busy with work.

At a lunch, I mentioned looking at flights and suggested we go during school holidays (as one of them is a teacher), even though it would be pricier. To make it easier on them, I offered to pay for accommodation. No one objected, so we booked flights.

Over the next few months, I asked for input on accommodation. No one responded, so I booked a resort with free cancellation. Later, one bridesmaid pointed out bad reviews, so I found an Airbnb. Then another bridesmaid said an Airbnb wasn’t safe and preferred a resort. I told her to suggest options, which she did, but some were over my budget.

I narrowed it down to two resorts and told the group that going with a resort might mean chipping in a few hundred dollars each. They all agreed on Option B (which had two affordable rooms or a pricier villa that kept us together). When I went to book, the two rooms were gone, so I booked the villa (free cancellation) and asked them to cover the remainder.

That’s when things blew up. Some were upset they hadn’t been told they’d have to pay. One said they were saving for a house and had assumed accommodation would be covered. They accused me of blindsiding them and going back on my word. It also came out that they were hesitant about the flight costs but didn’t say anything because they didn’t want to hurt my feelings—me covering accommodation had “softened the blow” of the flights cost.

One bridesmaid (not part of the original group) told me she was prepared to pay since it was a holiday and just wanted to have fun. I assumed everyone felt that way. Now, I feel blindsided and bad vibes about the trip.

Did I pressure them into this? Should I have asked more clearly before booking? I’m honestly considering canceling, but the flights are already paid for.

TL;DR: I offered to pay for accommodation on a bachelorette trip. When I booked a pricier but better option that required extra contribution, my bridesmaids got upset and accused me of blindsiding them.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/x_lemon15_x on 2025-02-18 23:25:10.

My dad (60m), my sister (22f) and I (20m) were supposed to take a train downtown for a car show. I was the one who arranged and paid for everything since I thought it would be good family time.

I told him to be ready at 12:15 pm so that we would have enough time to drive to the station and park before the train arrives at 1:04. The drive is about 25 minutes, so my thinking was that I would have 49 minutes to drive to the station and figure out parking and to get to our terminal (I had never been to this station so just wanted to have extra time incase things go wrong).

He said he would come out to the car at 12:15. My sister and I got to his house at 12:10 and waited. He didn't come out until 12:31. I told him we would be late but he said we were fine since it was a only a 25 minute drive.

We arrived at the station at 12:55. Here's where the first problem came up. We could only find reserved parking spots. We parked in a reserved spot so that I could get out of the car and go find somebody to ask where the regular lot was. Turns out, nobody is in the customer support area as it's a holiday. At this point, it's 1:00.

Then, my dad saw a security officer in the lot and told me to go ask him where the regular lot was. He told me it was at the other side of the road. So, I park up in the regular lot, run back to the boarding area (where my dad and sister was waiting). The doors of the train literally closed as I was about 20 metres from the train.

My dad and sister didn't board as they saw I couldn't make it. I was upset, but willing to let it go as there was another train coming in an hour. Then, everything got heated. My dad got mad at me for missing the train because "I should have known where to park instead of wasting time in the reserved lot looking for the regular lot"! Now I was mad. I told him that the reason I wanted to come earlier was because I didnt know the station and where everything was, and since he was late, we didnt have enough time. He said I shouldve researched the parking lot before coming. We got into an argument, which eventually got very bad. At this point I didn't even want to go to the car show as I was so pissed at him for blaming me. I told him that I would wait in the car and that he and my sister could go to the show and I'll pick them up when they come back. He called me selfish as he and my sister got ready for this family outing just for me and that he wanted me to come on the next train as we already made the drive over to the station. I told him no because I was in tears from the argument and wasn't in the mood to spend an entire day with him after he said terrible things to me for something he did.

Eventually, he got in the truck and we headed home. He told me to never speak to him again as I was selfish and wasted his time (he will hold this grudge for at least a month).

AITAH for taking him home instead of going on the next train after he was late and blamed it on me?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Overall_Celery8790 on 2025-02-18 23:10:30.

My roommate comes from money and is used to having expensive things around the house. She has bought multiple pieces of furniture, decorations, or appliances for the house of her own free will. She picks out the items and puts them in the house all on her own. The issue is, she expects me to pay for half of whatever she purchased for the house, saying that since it is a shared appliance/furnishing, the price should be shared too. She can easily afford to pay for these things herself, but I can’t, as all the money I make goes toward college tuition and groceries. I never asked her to buy any of these things either, and didn’t get a say in the selection process or agree to pay for half on the front end. Up till this point, I have obliged and paid for half, as nothing has been overly expensive and I have benefitted from the purchases as well. Last week, she bought an 800 dollar tv for the living room, and almost immediately started asking when I would be able to pay her back the 400 dollars for “my half”. I told her I’m sorry, but I couldn't afford to spend 400 dollars on a tv I didn’t need, want, or ask for. Since I couldn’t pay, I told her I wouldn’t use the tv, but she wasn’t happy with this answer. She got quite mad that she spent so much money on the tv and I refused to help pay for it, saying she wouldn’t have purchased such an expensive tv if she had known I was going to be cheap about it. She told several mutual friends that I refused to pay her back the 400 dollars I “owed” her, and they are calling me cheap and rude for not paying her the money. I feel like she is twisting the story when telling them the situation, but I wonder if I’m in the wrong?