The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Asleep-Trifle-8645 on 2025-06-26 23:14:30.
I (28F) am over 3 months along, and I'm worried if I tell my sister (21F) that shes going to try to get pregnant too... again.
Two years ago I had my first pregnancy. I announced it to my family at dinner and everyone was very happy and supportive of me. Ive been with my bf (34M) for 5 years now and it seemed like everything was falling into place for our midwest life. But my sister is a narcissist, and saw how happy and excited everyone was for me and decided she wanted that for herself. She made it her mission to also get pregnant, while in college, with no job or place of her own. She got pregnant within the next 2 months while at school and expected everyone to also be excited. Obviously she got a different reaction and was really mad at everyone for not just accepting her irresponsible choice. She ended up dropping out.
Fast foward to my emergency c-section where we fought to keep my baby alive in the NICU, only to pass away at 9 days. I don't want to get into the details of it, but obviously it was traumatic. And my sisters world completely changed from thinking we would be raising kids together. Her baby was born on time and healthy. And I hate to say but shes a terrible mother. She doesnt prioritize her child at all, doesn't even capture milestones or spend quality time with him, just dumps him on a family member for a few days so she can go out. To each their own but its extremely infuriating, considering how motherhood was ripped away from me and she doesnt have a maternal bone in her body.
Now 2 years later, shes still in the same spot. No job, living with her mom, doesnt prioritize her child and didnt go back to school. He isnt speaking words and just grunting and is developmentally delayed. I see this and it makes me realize she didnt really want a kid, she just wanted that unconditional support from our family that they showed me. So now that im pregnant again, I really dont want to tell her. And my family has agreed with me not to tell her. I'm worried shes going to see that as an opportunity to get pregnant again because shes obsessed with attention whether its negative or positive, and can't stand the spotlight on me. But i feel bad the further along I get, and the more people I tell, shes going to be extremely upset when she finds out. And if you know narcissistic rage, then you understand. I figured maybe I'd tell her this weekend finally, BUT she just posted on her story "going crazy this summer bc i'm manifesting a babygirl next year." Like HUH? You cannot keep a job, you dont even help your mom with rent and you want to have a 2nd kid already? For WHAT? You aren't even a good mother to your first! The father wants to take him for custody! Makes me want to shake her by the shoulders ugh. Now I know when I tell her shes definitely going to try it again. I rarely see her and we arent technically that close, so I could hide this for as long as I wanted tbh. AITA? or are my fears valid?