The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/kcoraldh on 2025-06-26 09:15:18.
For context, this all took place Early March-May.
I (17F) have been best friends with (let’s call her L), (17F) since middle school. She’s been dating her boyfriend, (let’s call her J), (18M) for a little over a year. He’s a good guy, is friends with our friend group, treats her well and everyone knows they will have a future together.
They’ve had a plan for months, J isn’t going to college until he has more funds saved up from his job, so L told him she was going to stay local and do community college so they could stay close. He’s been working hard and overtime to save up and even started looking for apartments near the campus she said she was going to.
But here’s the thing, L has secretly been applying to out of state schools. Not just one or two, but a bunch. Places in New York and California, while we live in Texas.
She’s smart, like one of the smartest people I know, but I also feel like Texas has some pretty good universities local to us.
She asked me to help with her applications and essays and told me to keep it between us. I felt weird about it, being friends with J as well.
At first, I thought she was just exploring options and would tell him eventually. But the decisions were coming up super soon, (about a month away) and she was still lying to him. Meanwhile, he’s putting all his time, energy, and money into planning their future thinking she’s staying which I couldn’t sit with any longer.
So I told him. I didn’t go into detail, didn’t really say much of her business, I just pulled him aside and said, “Hey, I think you should talk to L about her college plans. I know you’re making big decisions, and I don’t think you have the full picture.”
When L found out she got so upset with me. She said I ruined the trust between us and it wasn’t my business to tell, she also thinks I was trying to sabotage their relationship… (???). Like what? She swears she was going to tell him “eventually,” and now claims she was “just exploring options,” not seriously planning to go. Most of our friend group agrees with her and says that it wasn’t my business to say.
But being friends with J, keeping a lie like that would seriously alter someone’s future. They’re still together, and she’s going to the community college, and i’ve lost most of my friendships over this.
I keep wondering if I should’ve kept it to myself and let them figure it out, or not? idk.
AITA?