this post was submitted on 22 Nov 2023
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[–] [email protected] 127 points 10 months ago (3 children)

What an incredible time and labor intensive fetish. No kink shame though. You do you, chart-making cousin fucker.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

I mean, can you really say for all practical purposes you're related if Joe Bob is both of your great great great great uncles? After so many generations it ceases to be relevant.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

More than second cousins and it's pretty irrelevant anyway. If they're the same ethnicity as you there's a good chance you're some sort of cousins anyway. (Well humanity had a common ancestor so EVERYONE is kinda your cousin, eh)

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

It isn't work if it excites you

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You chart-making, cousin-fucking, low down son of a bitch. Had to put that after it came into my head.

But yea, who gives a shit really. I've got cousins I'd fuck given half a chance.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 110 points 10 months ago (6 children)

Fun fact: if you fuck anyone, you're fucking your cousin.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Unless they're closer than a cousin.

[–] starman2112 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Well, still technically your cousin, but also close family tie, moving them beyond cousin status. Like everybody is a quadrilateral, so you are fucking another quadrilateral, but it gets weird when rectangles or squares start fucking the same shapes when their family tree is all just rectangles or squares.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago (4 children)

My wife is literally from the other side of the world... So now you have me wondering who our last common ancestor could be and how many degrees removed we are.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago (2 children)

My wife and I both have Scottish ancestry. Turns out there’s a chance a clan I descended from may have nearly genocided a clan she descended from, and if they had completed the job back in the day there’s a good chance she wouldn’t have been born. A few from her clan were let go to spread the word to others to not fuck around, and she’s descended from one of them.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago

Brutal. Her clan's still being fucked generations later.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

True, but considering I'm Jewish as far back as we can trace and there are no Jews in her ancestry as far back as she can trace, we're pretty distant cousins.

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[–] [email protected] 75 points 10 months ago (6 children)

i wonder what percentage of people understand that all living things on earth share a common ancestor.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago

Not enough.

I was fortunate enough to sit through an impromptu family tree debate after I had been made aware that to some degree we are all related.

I lack the words to adequately describe the reactions of shock and horror when people who had been married for decades suddenly realized they shared real and somewhat close blood relation, some times only two or three generations apart.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago (1 children)

People in small towns especially, go back only a couple generations and they all start merging. Then they act shocked our town of <5000 people is all related

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

80,000 people in my town and the risk is still pretty serious

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (4 children)

This might be a really dumb question, but is it possible that any two human beings don't share a common ancestor? Like, do we all link back to a single bacteria or were there multiple "made" at once?

[–] [email protected] 44 points 10 months ago (1 children)

There is a genetic Adam and Eve. However, I don't think they existed at the same time. These were humans, not just apes/mammals/animals/bacteria. We are all distantly related.

We are also more related to mushrooms than trees are to mushrooms.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, it's hard to pin down when these common ancestors lived precisely, especially given that as portions of our genome go extinct, the common ancestor will change.

But Y-chromosomal Adam is estimated to have lived around 200,000 years ago, while estimates for when Mitochondrial Eve lived are a bit more recent, around 150,000 years ago.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

how far back is that in terms of great grandpas and great grandmas?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

According to an unverified internet search, the average age of childbirth for women throughout history is 23.2 years, and for men it is 30.7.

So, statistically, your great^6463 grandmother is the same as mine. Same goes for our great^6512 grandfather.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

wow! that’s quite a few. i wonder what our great^6512^ grandparents were like

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

They were freaks. They didn't have as many generations of separation so they were definitely fucking their cousin at best.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago

A quarter of us trace back to one mongol, fairly certain there’s going to be a point we all tie together to the same ape eating magic mushrooms in what would become Africa. Long ass time ago though

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

No, all humans share a common ancestor, as does all multicellular life. Google clades for more info.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That doesn't mean fucking someone that close to you doesn't come with risks.

But as long as it's not multigenerational it's a very small increase to the already small percentage of defects.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

If it required charts to explain and took years to work out then I'm guessing it probably wasn't first cousin's, and may not have even been second cousins. By the time you are at that level the risk is probably barely different than picking someone from the same country as you at random.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Could be a case of a long lost uncle

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."

The saying (basically) means "the bond with the friends you make is stronger than happenstance family".

Remember, don't be bullied by family members who use "family" as their excuse to get you to do what they want without consideration of your own thoughts or feelings.

Happy Thanksgiving!

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago (1 children)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_is_thicker_than_water

Two modern commentators, author Albert Jack and Messianic Rabbi Richard Pustelniak, claim that the original meaning of the expression was that the ties between people who have made a blood covenant (or have shed blood together in battle) were stronger than ties formed by "the water of the womb", thus "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". Neither of the authors cite any sources to support their claim.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago

Neither of the authors cite any sources to support their claim.

"Just trust me, bro."

[–] [email protected] 40 points 10 months ago

Degrees matter, they really do.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I mean my cousin? I ain't saying she's hot. I also ain't saying she's not.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Ain't sayin' she ain't* 🤌🏼

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

ain't ain't, hot not. words, man, flow through my fingers like dew on spider webs. where it be going we can't be sure, but we know it'll be cool

[–] Assman 16 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago

Now this is a man who knows how to marry his cousin!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Now, this is a man who knows how to marry his cousin!

...wow. Didn't know how much I would enjoy getting to say that until now. Elroy! I get it now!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Sweet home Alabama

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