Asklemmy

Fetch: grab the toy if they play with it and it ends up close by, use verbal reinforcement

Names: the cats recognize everyone's name in the hous thanks to reinforcement learning

Locations: the cats know where I'm going and can beat me there because I tell them where I'm going, sounds like reinforcement learning again?

Activities: set phrases like "let's go", "come on", "let's get some food", "jump up", etc, all by reinforcement training.

Paw-touching: slowly touch more and more often, for longer, until nail clipping is a breeze. Hmm... Might be reinforcement training again.

To end bad behaviors, hiss, it's a built-in "no" for cats.

I taught mine this cool trick where I’m holding him and he hears a slightly loud noise and then claws the ever loving shit out of me and leaves me deeply gouged and bleeding in several places. It’s a great trick.

The cat I had when I was a kid would occasionally use the toilet. Just for peeing.

When he was done he'd paw the handle. He wasn't strong enough to actually flush it, but he tried.

We didn't so much teach this trick, as he learned it on his own, but we got an automatic feeder for him to help us with his diet. It feeds him 6x per day, and since we're no longer the ones giving him food, he has stopped begging us for food at all hours.

In any case, a few months ago, we noticed him in the dining room, staring at the grandfather clock. Then the clock chimed, and he ran over to the feeder and stared at it until a few seconds later, when it dispensed the food. He doesn't do this, except around feeding time.

So, it's just pavlovian: he's learned to associate the clock chime with the feeder, and has a general idea when feeding time is based on how hungry he is. Still, it's a neat party trick to tell guests we have a cat who can read a clock and tell time.

My kids taught one of our cats to high five, it's cute. Also if you never let them outside off a leash, they do learn to calmly step into the harness.

I leash/harness train mine. It's nice to be able to mostly walk them around outside like dogs. Also I train them to ride on my shoulders for transportation. That way when they get too lazy to walk back to the house or I need to carry them around for any other reason I can just plop them on my shoulders and they will ride there, keeping my hands free. My neighbors probably think I'm crazy.

u/VegaLyrae's suggestions are all excellent.

Ignore me.
Wake me up.

Knock my shit over.
Fit in the box.

My cat has mastered all these tricks.

I taught my cat how to speak. Now he doesn't shut up.

I also "taught" him to tolerate being cradled on his back like a baby.

My cat recognizes the tea kettle whistle as time to get off my lap. "Up" and "Down" mean the same thing (you need to get down so I can get up).

She's not the brightest, but a warning that she needs to move means I get clawed less.

I taught my cats to high five. That's a bit fun.

My cat has learned the opposite; when I put my foot out she grabs it and tries to fuck me up with rabbit kicks lol she doesn't use claws though so it's okay.

I used treats to teach my cat to come to me when I ring a bell.

She already knew the sound of a treat dropping on the hard floor so I would ring the bell and then drop the treat. Eventually I switched to just ringing the bell and she would come running.

My cat goes out to get coffee and breakfast on the weekends. I think that's a little bit cooler than all of you guys' tricks

Mine knows: touch, spin, high 5, up (stands on his back legs), lie down

Hand signals over verbal signals. They listen better and it freaks your friends out when you rub your finger together and all your cats show up.

As a kid, my mother taught ours to sit, shake, lie down, roll over, and to dance/stand (stand on 2 feet). It took a lot of training to get him to do it but it was sorta worth it. 🤷