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The Onion Rule (lemmy.ml)
submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 283 points 9 months ago

You skipped the last one

Q: What lessons should I take from this conflict?

A: That dehumanization begets dehumanization, terror begets terror, and none of us will be free until all of us are free; or, you know, that it might be easier to just look away.

[-] [email protected] 69 points 9 months ago

Also stop electing genocidal fascists.

[-] [email protected] 60 points 9 months ago

This is a problem that will solve itself. Most genocidal fascists aren't that hyped about elections so they get rid of them.

[-] [email protected] 109 points 9 months ago

The Onion has been outright prophetic about Palestine.

[-] [email protected] 72 points 9 months ago

Is it really a prophecy to name the thing that's been happening for 80 years

[-] [email protected] 68 points 9 months ago

I think we have to stop considering every human life as a precious treasure and every child as a miracle to be protected at all cost.

Instead we should consider picking sides like we choose a starter Pokémon. Who's with me on team Bulbasaur-Palestine-Russia-Armenia, because I dig their super cool aesthetics?

[-] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago

We should just have Bulbasaur eat Israel and solve all our problems

[-] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago

Why doesn't Bulbasaur, the largest starter, simply not eat the others

[-] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

bulbasaur eat pokemon, eevee inherit the earth

[-] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

More like Russia-Iran-North Korea. Palestine is just a convenient place for Iran to launch their missiles while claiming it's not them. Armenia only fights because Russia bribes them.

[-] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago

Fucking Pikachu apologists

[-] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Hey, you're doing my G Bulbasaur dirty. Just take Charmander, will you

[-] [email protected] 61 points 9 months ago

it's not thousands of years of context. All this stuff dates back to, like, roughly the 1900s. Basically the British Mandatory period.

[-] [email protected] 76 points 9 months ago

So try a lemmy comment.

[-] [email protected] 46 points 9 months ago

It actually started around 11 century BC, when Samson slaughtered more than 1000 Philistines (ancient Palestinians).

[-] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

That land belongs to the Canaanites!

Who I guess were ancient Canadians?

[-] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago
[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago
[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Because they've been fighting over that meaningless strip of land since time imemorial and will never stop until one side obliterates the other.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

A bit earlier still

The Egyptians defeated the Sea Peoples and forced a subgroup, the Peleset, to southern Canaan to act as a buffer state to the Hittites to the north. This displaced the locals who would go on to become the Israelites.

The Peleset became the biblical Philistines.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

What I'm hearing is it would be more efficient to go back and time and prevent this than to go back in time and kill Hitler.

[-] naught 25 points 9 months ago

What about those crusade things I've heard so much about

[-] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

The Mongols showed up and ruined everything.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

We wouldn't have had guitars without that shit.

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[-] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Why is it called Palestine? What happened to the Second Temple?

[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

The Romans. Trajan sacked Jerusalem after a 5 month of siege to put out the Great Jewish Revolt (70CE). That's when the Second Temple was destroyed. Trajan's column shows Roman soldiers carting off a giant menorah in commemoration.

Palestine is from the Latin for Philistia, the lands of another ancient Canaanite tribe.

Shit's old all around.

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[-] [email protected] 57 points 9 months ago
[-] [email protected] 39 points 9 months ago

Not gonna lie. The last point got me. I just filter out gaza, Israel and Palestine now. There is no way for me to get non biased info about the history of the issue online.

[-] [email protected] 70 points 9 months ago

Guilty of Killing civilians: Hamas, Israeli government.

Guilty of Genocide: Israeli government

People who don't deserve to get killed: Palestine civilians, Israeli civilians.

People who have claims to the land: both Palestine civilians and Israeli civilians (sorry the situation is fucked).

Fascist and helping each other gain power: Hamas, Netanyahu

[-] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

Hamas is also guilty of genocide...

[-] Barbarian 32 points 9 months ago

Eh, more like they would commit genocide if they could. They'd happily and gleefully murder every Jew in Israel, but they don't have the military strength to do it.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Thank you for the context

[-] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Probably, the best summary of this situation. May I steal this and use it when arguing with tankies and right wingers?

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[-] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Israel is a colony invented by Western powers that at its creation committed a massive genocide against Palestinians to steal their land (see: the Nakba). Since then, Israel has consistently maintained a policy of ethnic cleansing to steal more Palestinian land by settling new areas, expelling the indigenous Palestinians, and only incorporating them into Israel once it meets demographic criteria.

The UN has called what Israel is doing apartheid, and fun fact when apartheid was a less bad word Israel knew it too -- it was one of the closest allies with apartheid South Africa and they closely collaborated especially militarily on suppressing their respective indigenous liberation movements.

And by the way, Israel helped create Hamas as a way to undermine secular Palestinian resistance .

The current state of affairs is that millions of Palestinians are displaced from Palestine altogether, and millions more remain but cannot return to their homes in the occupied territories. Gaza is the world's largest concentration camp with 2 million people trapped inside, half of them under the age of 18, with no ability to leave. Israel has regularly bombed hospitals, schools, mosques, and other humanitarian sites, is not allowing humanitarian aid in, and in the most recent escalations has shut off access to food and water.

These are children resisting a multi billion dollar nuclear military from stealing their home, there is no balanced two sides to this story

https://www.statista.com/chart/16516/israeli-palestinian-casualties-by-in-gaza-and-the-west-bank/

[-] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Ah thanks. It's more fucked up than I thought...which is sad as hell. And from my 'not paying attention' understanding, Western governments are supporting this shit? Something something US sending aid to Israel? Something something France not allowing pro Palestine riots? That's when I tuned out, because I thought I must have really not understood the situation. But if that stuff is also true, shit is stomach curdlingly bleak.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Western governments put that shit in place.

[-] [email protected] 27 points 9 months ago

well that's just depressing

[-] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Reality is often disappointing

[-] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

Have civilians in Gaza really been allowed to leave?

[-] [email protected] 77 points 9 months ago

Leave Gaza? No, but they were instructed to go to the other side of Gaza, and civilian convoys doing just that were bombed. Don't worry though people who were able to flee to the camps were also bombed. As for the people who didn't flee, they were surprisingly bombed.

[-] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago

Undercook chicken? Bombed. Overcook fish? Believe it or not, also bombed.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Everybody to the left side....bombs right side.

Everybody to the right side...bombs left side.

See... We didn't target anyone.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-67114281

Whether Israel did the bombing or Hamas isn't clear. Stop spreading propaganda.

[-] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago

No but they were told to evacuate their homes in the northern Gaza strip and move to the southern Gaza strip - in 24 hours or less. I think that situation may have been deescalated. Some western governments have started telling Israel to stop some of the war crimes.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Speaking of war crimes, was it confirmed that Israel was dropping white phosphorus again?

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[-] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago
[-] TopRamenBinLaden 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I don't think Onion articles are really that commie/Marxist/tankie, or whatever comparison you are trying to make.

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this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2023
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