this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2023
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[–] [email protected] 76 points 2 years ago

I say "god damn you" to unwork the broken blessing system.

[–] [email protected] 68 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Instead try this: Say "What?" And stare at them. Wait for them to explain. Act as though you do not know what a sneeze is. Allow them to explain the process of a sneeze. Tell them you have never experienced that in your life. Wait for them to get exasperated then in a dismissive way mention that you aren't sure you believe them, and change the subject.

Congratulations, you have won this interaction.

[–] starman2112 5 points 2 years ago

The ol' smooth shark maneuver

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I like to say “acknowledged!” like Picard

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"I'm going to sneeze."

"Make it so!"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"You may fire when ready."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] MartinXYZ 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

His name is spelled with one "l"; "Wil"

(He'll probably block me for that, if he's on Lemmy)

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I always say “shut up” in the most annoyed way possible.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 years ago (4 children)

I don't see anything wrong with gesundheit. It means health. And really I feel like the German expression is just saying - be healthy dammit, and stop sneezing!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

You can also say "Schönheit – gesund biste ja": "Beauty – you're already healthy after all"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

It used to be something to say to yourself. A little "fuck I hope I'm not next" prayer.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 years ago (2 children)

People who intentionally yell when they sneeze can fuck off.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago

It feels very good, like physically itches the inside back of my throat (amazing if you're having an allergic response to something), while being deeply psychologically satisfying to yell from your abdomen. I try to only do it at home, but there's a reason some people scream-sneeze.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

I vocalize pretty loudly when I sneeze and it’s entirely involuntary. I hate that I do it and I’ve tried to force myself to stop and it doesn’t work.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

"Fucking grow up."

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago (2 children)

This was covered extensively on an episode of Seinfeld

[–] PM_ME_FEET_PICS 4 points 2 years ago

You're soooooo good looking.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Seinfeld

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Nice Ron!

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.” - in a Siri voice “Nah, I’m good, thanks though.” “Dude! You scared the crap outta me!”

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

sneeze once "Bless you."

Sneeze twice "Gesundheit."

Sneeze three times "Ok now you're just fishing for attention."

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Ashley Johnson's reactions to Sam Riegel sneezes

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago

"Satan curse you"

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

"I hate when you do that"

That's my favorite

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

I always 'shhhh' like a librarian would

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

I usually go with "None of that"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I like to say GOD BLESS YOU in the most dramatic exaggerated way possible immediately after I sneeze so I beat everyone to the punch. You can't bless me bitches.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

"Don't you dare ask God to help me," Crawford reportedly snapped at the nurses praying at her bedside, before moments later the Academy Award winner took her final breath.

https://www.express.co.uk/entertainment/films/1749878/joan-crawford-final-words-spt

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

In Greece we say "Γείτσες", which is a dimunitive for "Υγεία" (=Health), so essentially its like wishing the other person to be healthy.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

We say the same in the Netherlands, and sometimes we also say the equivalent for "cheers", not sure why though.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Sneezing isn't normal! I never sneeze.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I sneeze multiple times daily whenever I go outside because of ACHOO Syndrome (yes that is a real name lol)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

You poor dear! You should see a doctor. IT IS NOT NORMAL TO SNEEZE!

reference

[–] MonkCanatella 2 points 2 years ago

That was hilarious. Gonna have to check out their podcast.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

reference

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

"Well done" and "clean that up" are my favourites

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

"I disagree"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

I always tell my partner to cut it out when they sneeze.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

get any on you?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

I prefer the simple "Curse you."

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