this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2023
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[–] [email protected] 74 points 10 months ago

I say "god damn you" to unwork the broken blessing system.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Instead try this: Say "What?" And stare at them. Wait for them to explain. Act as though you do not know what a sneeze is. Allow them to explain the process of a sneeze. Tell them you have never experienced that in your life. Wait for them to get exasperated then in a dismissive way mention that you aren't sure you believe them, and change the subject.

Congratulations, you have won this interaction.

[–] starman2112 5 points 10 months ago

The ol' smooth shark maneuver

[–] [email protected] 37 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I like to say “acknowledged!” like Picard

[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"I'm going to sneeze."

"Make it so!"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"You may fire when ready."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] MartinXYZ 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

His name is spelled with one "l"; "Wil"

(He'll probably block me for that, if he's on Lemmy)

[–] [email protected] 33 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I always say “shut up” in the most annoyed way possible.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I don't see anything wrong with gesundheit. It means health. And really I feel like the German expression is just saying - be healthy dammit, and stop sneezing!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

You can also say "Schönheit – gesund biste ja": "Beauty – you're already healthy after all"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

It used to be something to say to yourself. A little "fuck I hope I'm not next" prayer.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (2 children)

People who intentionally yell when they sneeze can fuck off.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

It feels very good, like physically itches the inside back of my throat (amazing if you're having an allergic response to something), while being deeply psychologically satisfying to yell from your abdomen. I try to only do it at home, but there's a reason some people scream-sneeze.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

I vocalize pretty loudly when I sneeze and it’s entirely involuntary. I hate that I do it and I’ve tried to force myself to stop and it doesn’t work.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

"Fucking grow up."

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago (2 children)

This was covered extensively on an episode of Seinfeld

[–] PM_ME_FEET_PICS 4 points 10 months ago

You're soooooo good looking.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Seinfeld

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Nice Ron!

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.” - in a Siri voice “Nah, I’m good, thanks though.” “Dude! You scared the crap outta me!”

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

sneeze once "Bless you."

Sneeze twice "Gesundheit."

Sneeze three times "Ok now you're just fishing for attention."

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Ashley Johnson's reactions to Sam Riegel sneezes

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

"Satan curse you"

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

"I hate when you do that"

That's my favorite

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

I always 'shhhh' like a librarian would

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

I usually go with "None of that"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I like to say GOD BLESS YOU in the most dramatic exaggerated way possible immediately after I sneeze so I beat everyone to the punch. You can't bless me bitches.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

"Don't you dare ask God to help me," Crawford reportedly snapped at the nurses praying at her bedside, before moments later the Academy Award winner took her final breath.

https://www.express.co.uk/entertainment/films/1749878/joan-crawford-final-words-spt

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

In Greece we say "Γείτσες", which is a dimunitive for "Υγεία" (=Health), so essentially its like wishing the other person to be healthy.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

We say the same in the Netherlands, and sometimes we also say the equivalent for "cheers", not sure why though.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Sneezing isn't normal! I never sneeze.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I sneeze multiple times daily whenever I go outside because of ACHOO Syndrome (yes that is a real name lol)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

You poor dear! You should see a doctor. IT IS NOT NORMAL TO SNEEZE!

reference

[–] MonkCanatella 2 points 10 months ago

That was hilarious. Gonna have to check out their podcast.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

reference

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

"Well done" and "clean that up" are my favourites

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

"I disagree"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

I always tell my partner to cut it out when they sneeze.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

get any on you?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

I prefer the simple "Curse you."

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