Humor, jokes, memes about TTRPGs
Player 5: My parents were adventurers and pressured me into this life. Every summer it was adventure camp. Battle training for three hours a day on top of lessons in navigation, foraging, survival, and lute lessons. I'm only doing this because I have no other skills. Thanks mom & dad...
This is exactly what I would do if I rolled god like stats
All they ever wanted was to sit in a library and copy texts.
I imagine every now and again an ancient tome speaks to them only for them to roll their eyes and put it in a special chest their parents gave them.
"You could play music at this tavern."
"I think I'd rather get eaten."
My current campaign has a character whose parents still live in the town where the adventure is largely based. A lot of effort is spent convincing other townsfolk not to tell his mother what he's been up to. It's fantastic.
This is my current campaign.
One of my party members is the last survivor of a noble family who got murdered by an usurper, the other is a paladin who swore vengeance against a demonic cult, and the other is a girl who sold her soul to obtain enough power to get retribution against the one who killed her entire family.
And then there's me, a goofy dude who has spent a peaceful life as a city guard and is actually pretty chill and looking forward to inheriting his family's shop.
looking forward to inheriting his family's shop.
Dm : I think I'm gonna try to kill this guy
My character is also about to hit retirement, and is a black dude.
If I survive this, then I've truly reached the peak of my DnD career.
Fun fact: Last session I came really close to dying. The DM rolled for damage and I was totally dead, then remembered the 5 temp HP from fighting spirit. I was left with 1 HP.
I love it when you actually remember the ability that saves you in the moment rather than 5 rounds later. But if you were left with 1hp then surely you'd only have been unconscious from the attack anyway?
Correct, but I can't guarantee that the DM would not attack me while unconscious. The main monster was making three attacks per round and another one on the side was making AoE attacks. Racking up three failed death saving throws is very easy in a situation like that.
Oof that's a tough fight for a samurai at less than level 10.
Sounds like a fun campaign!
It sure is! I love my DM, he spends a lot of time trying to make fights challenging but fair. He also doesn't shy away from giving us cool magic items, which in turn allows him to throw even stronger enemies at us.
Unfortunately work is getting in the way and he won't be able to DM for long. Being adults suck.
He sounds like a treasure, hold tight and (at the risk of sounding patronising as balls) try and pick up the DM mantle occasionally if his life gets a bit busy.
Player 1's father is obviously the Warlord.
Player 2's father is also the Warlord. He killed the father in the same way Darth Vader killed Anakin Skywalker.
Player 3's mother sold their soul for the Warlord to fall in love with her.
Player 4's Father is the Warlord and Player 3's Mother. Except after they got together they settled down for a happily ever after.
Tune in next week for another exciting episode of 'El Maestro de Mazmorras (dramatic.... pause) de Amor"
organ music intensifies
My sister is currently playing as a sentient plate of nachos.
I don't even know what fucking books she found the rules for that in, and I don't know if I want to know.
she found a tome of eldritch lore
They're not your books.
I love the "happy backstory" characters and love GMing for them. Having an auntie the next village over is just wonderfully quaint. A couple of siblings whose mess has to be cleaned up. Cousins that have to be bailed out of trouble. That is just the low stakes. Turn up the heat a little and put some conflicting interests in the mix and you have a recipe for character drama.
And then there are all the larger and societal issues that become personal. Those affected by the situation are those that matter for the pc. While out killing goblins the bank took the farm. Auntie with an anarcho-syndicalist streak is accused of witchcraft.
Or mr edgy edgelord number fifteen who cares about nothing and none. My taste is clear - homebaked apple pie and an afternoon in the hammock.
No. 4 sounds like Terry Pratchetts tourist.
Until you read Interesting Times.
Interesting Times spoiler
His wife was murdered by one of the warlords of the Agathean Empire during one of their emperor-sanctioned skirmishes.
Guess who the DMs gonna kill first
That's novice stuff. It's a cheap emotional gut-punch that weakens that character's ties to the world and story. You can do so much more if you keep them alive:
You know when your parents ask you to fix the printer because you're the IT person in the house? That, but it's goblins. You're the goblin-fighter person in the house. And you're getting paid in a dessert your mum was making anyway.
“The Hansen boy killed three dragons this year, that must be so nice, they must be proud.”
I meant kill the nice PC not the character's parents but I meant it as a joke I know it's weak storytelling
if you're actually trying to make a good story your ideas are good lol
Oh, yeah, that's totally a good thing to do with living parents too. Someone has to inform them what happened to their child, after all.
After one of my PCs died, my planned backup was going to be of the same class and race, but a few years younger and motivated by a desire to travel with her brother. The brother who had just died, and she didn't know. I am so sad schedule issues got in the way of that...
The reanimated corpses of orphan boy's parents
That or the loving player's familiar
We had a campaign start at level 1 with the undead led by a lich killing the ranger’s parents. At lvl 18 the wizard raised them with wish for resurrection.
He probably should have asked first.
Kill? No. There are things worse than death
One of my favorite player backstories was a well-to-do guy having a midlife crisis and going on adventures while still writing home sometimes to assure The Wife that he's just on a business trip. 
I love this
That's awesome. I might steal that at some point.
Those are the best characters though. They learn and change so much.
In my experience the "smirking in a dark corner of the tavern and has no living relatives or friends" characters don't really learn or change much on average; it's often a default setting that allows for murderhobo antics, or so the player believes.
I've been kicking around the idea of a character like this but I don't play. Basically privileged teen, rich-ass parents, best education (was thinking maybe sorceror: basically the kid was handed everything in life), but he wants to play street rat.
I figure a sorceror masquerading as a rogue would be a big liability for a combat heavy campaign, but it could be pretty awesome for a rp focused one.
Also bonus point if you can name my inspiration.
Also bonus point if you can name my inspiration.
street rat
Aladdin, no doubt.
Nope, he was actually poor.
Ah, I meant the film Aladdin, specifically the character Jasmine. You're right, the character Aladdin doesn't fit the concept.
Oh, that makes more sense.
My character a long time ago was a prince who ran away from home to find a treasure. He was rich, well educated, but still a teenager. Like a rebellious teenager. In the campaign he turned into an assassin who ended up killing the Queen, his mother.
You might want to check out Fantasy High from Dimension 20. 👨🍳🤌🏼🔥
I can confirm, having placed as such a character for three years, this is actually just kind of boring. It turns out that it doesn't really make you more relatable, it just makes you never able to get any scenes or storylines that involve your backstory.
If the "not really tragic backstory" person put some connections into the setting I can see lots of potential for a relatable character. If the city's in danger and that's where their family is, that's a freebie. If there's someone in their family they don't like that's in danger, even some room for comedy.
The trick for that is to get really really invested in the other characters backstory and really want them to succeed and get their revenge or happy end. That way, you are always in the spotlight too.
I'm playing a wizard who had a great life but was fascinated by the Underdark and wanted to go there. Everything was fine until she started adventuring lol.
My two favorite backstories are
Techlan Que, the halfling former snake oil salesman. His dad's in jail for selling snake oil, but he'll be out in a year or two. In the meantime Tek and his brother are working to put their kid sister through wizard school and send money home to ma because she doesn't have a paying job
And Simon Blackwood Jr., a kobold rogue. His parents were high ranking thieves' guild members before they retired to take care of their kids, but they took one last job to clear some kobolds out of a cave. They couldn't bring themselves to smash the only egg, so they brought it home and raised him as their own son. Now he's 8 years old, fully grown and out looking for work, much to his mother's dismay. She'd prefer he to to school with his older sisters, aged 11 and 13