this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2023
1041 points (98.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

25964 readers
3989 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 161 points 1 year ago (9 children)

Tried eating a piano once but it tasted a bit sharp

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Me too. The flavor left me flat.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Piano sommelier’s recommend tasting upright, with proper posture, to sustain the best notes of ivory, maple, mahogany, and rosewood. Cracking the lid before dining is crucial, and the only way to truly hammer home some of the more subtle dissonance between flavours.

Edit: If you find your piano is a bit too “stringy”, you may have to cook it longer. Young, over-confident, plucky chef’s often make this mistake.

Edit 2: over-cooking can also dampen the flavour, fyi.

Edit 3: one last thing, if the staff haven’t let piano rest, you’ll also want to pedal back your expectations, better to just hit up any other bar and maybe try a classical italian coda.

Edit 4: sorry, typo… soda.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

You son of a bitch… /s

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Remember to use the tuning fork, not the salad fork.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

"Lotito holds the record for the 'strangest diet' in the Guinness Book of Records. He was awarded a brass plaque by the publishers to commemorate his abilities. He ate his award."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

#List of unusual items consumed

At least:[3][8][12]

45 door hinges 18 bicycles 15 shopping carts 7 TV sets 6 chandeliers 2 beds 1 pair of skis 1 computer 1 Cessna 150 light aircraft 1 waterbed (full of water) 500 metres (1,600 ft) of steel chain at once 1 coffin (with handles) 1 Guinness award plaque

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

"Monsieur Mouth" Nice.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nothing ethical about it. It asks for things you "can" eat, not things that you "would" eat. Luckily there are no pictures of people.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You can eat a piano, just have to do it a small piece at a time.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is it eating if you’re real just acting as a piece of fleshy conduit?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Piano keys passing through human meat tube is not what I would consider eating

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"can" is only a matter of attitude and determination

[–] SickIcarus 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Everything is edible once!

[–] dream_weasel 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Oh yeah? Can you eat a star or the concept of love or your own entire head?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Not with that attitude!

[–] damnYouSun 4 points 1 year ago

The key is to take enough hallucinogenics. Then you can do all three.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago

Love me some Panda Express

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We're getting closer and closer to "You're in a desert, walking along when you look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you. You reach down and flip it over on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over. But it can't. Not with out your help. But you're not helping. Why is that?"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This legitimately told me I was wrong after I clicked all the burgers

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

It knows the true nutritional value found in your average baby grand piano.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

It says "can", not "should"

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Missed opportunity for joke about eating pussy, although that term is probably what would cause the algorithm to do this to begin with

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Had it ask me to pick animals - and there were pictures of chicken wings in there lol

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

I mean it was an animal once

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It only asks if I CAN eat the piano, which makes it viable as a correct choice as well

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Don’t tell me what I can’t do! - John Locke

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I wouldn't eat a whole one.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not with that attitude you won’t

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I'm currently only eating ethically sourced food, so no ebony or ivory for me, despite how well they go together.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

I got this prompt recently and it accepted my answer when I included the panda.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Even more of a dilemma if you’re veggie

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

This gets considerably more confusing after watching a few episodes of "Is It Cake?"

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So everything but the piano. Even then, it’s more of a “don’t tell me what I can’t do” type attitude.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

That was a wild Wikipedia. I laughed when I saw he ate his own award plaque.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

YeH fair. I could eat a cat or panda, depending on how desperate I am.

[–] TheRealLinga 5 points 1 year ago

I'm eyeing up that piano. A little worcestershire sauce on the keys... mmm now I'm hungry!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Panda Express.

Now with real Panda.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I just had the same fucking one and that's what I thought.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Are those all AI generated images? They seem wonky.

Gee, imagine if we trained our upcoming AI overlords that you can eat pianos and pandas, but not hamburgers, lol.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

It might backfire. They could end up feeding us piano key/panda nutrient blends in our cages once they enslave us all.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

apex predator intensifies

[–] RIPandTERROR 4 points 1 year ago

Just eat your phone

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I heard of a man eating a whole table once, chip by chip. A piano isn't off the table for those who are brave enough

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›