this post was submitted on 09 May 2025
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Funny

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[–] [email protected] 154 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

why does this image have built-in spit droplets

[–] [email protected] 51 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

My dumb ass just went and tried to clean my screen before I read your comment

[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 weeks ago

Did you put it into screen cleaning mode first?

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago

It has been saved, reposted and saved so many times that there is data loss making fuzzy artifacts in the picture.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago

This was incredibly confusing for me because I washed my hands after opening this post. I picked up my phone, and I read your top comment before reading the post, and then I looked at my screen and I actually had water on my screen. I was like, "Damn that is some realistic looking water!" Then I wiped it on my shirt and it disappeared and I got really confused lol

[–] vaultdweller013 12 points 3 weeks ago

Shower thoughts, clearly it needs water.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Image so old it got moldy

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

It’s semen

[–] [email protected] 70 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

Just open up notepad, start cleaning, and then use the resulting document as a word finder puzzle. Hell, if you're really lucky you might write the next best selling novel.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Wouldn't recommend this. I mean, it was publishable, sure. But there were tons of spelling errors.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago

Bah! That's what editors are for!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago

They told me it was already published by Shakespeare.

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Some keyboards have a lock button and most can be unplugged

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Mostly only an issue for laptops.

Side note: whoever decided that pressing any key on the keyboard should turn on the computer should be shot. Fuck you Apple for bringing that back.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Not sure how long I’ve had this tool but several years at least. Nothing fancy, just toggles keyboard input temporarily so you can clean. Works for power key.

https://folivora.ai/keyboardcleantool

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I think there used to be a program for windows to lock the keyboard, too. Themed around protecting from cats walking across it, if anyone wants to look.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

You're supposed to clean your keyboard?

I bought one with lights and it's a glorious display case for my collection of dead skin, crumbs and stray pubes.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

How are your pubes getting near your k--

wait, no I don't want the answer to that question.

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[–] kingpepe8006 34 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
  1. Unplug keyboard or turn off bluetooth.
  2. Clean keyboard.
[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

ok but get this: I have a laptop

[–] VicksVaporBBQrub 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Gotta go harder to get that deep clean.

Sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eX3IGPq8AQ

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Unplug the laptop. Clean keyboard.

Or rip it out and clean it.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Unplugging the keyboard requires getting down on my hands and knees, groping around to find a plug I can't visually see, and probably dislocating my shoulder in the process.

And then even more luck required to get the plug I can't see back IN, trying the USB every single way blind by feel only, and neither way wants to accept it's the right one.

It's an absolute last resort.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

My keyboard has a detachable cable so you can just unplug it from the keyboard

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I'm happy for you

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago

Thank you, meme, for making me take 20 seconds to clean my phone screen then wonder why it wouldn't clean.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't clean my keyboard. I just add chia seeds and a little water. Chia keyboard ftw.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

K-K-K-Keyboard!

[–] sugar_in_your_tea 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Just lock the screen. The worst that'll happen is a failed login or switching the keyboard layout or something.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Windows-L is the hotkey (in Windows at least), for those who maybe didn't know.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

My god, unplug the USB or just turn off the keyboard. Simple.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Unplug it or turn it off if it's wireless. Not that hard.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

It's what happens when you trip over the lamp's power cord, except for a keyboard.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Esterline make specialised keyboards that are specifically for sterile environments which have this feature. You press a button, the keys are ignored and you can wipe the keyboard down.

https://www.advancedinput.com/medigenic

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Sounds like a mouthwash company

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I just open a vt and clean. Typing gibberish on login prompt is fine and f keys don't work.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

I usually open vim.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

You could also just unplug the keyboard

[–] Imgonnatrythis 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (4 children)

Everyone has a reason here why this isn't necessary, but frankly it's just not a dumb idea and especially relevant for shared workplace workstations. I'd rather have a disable for cleaning button than a windows button.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Almost all DEs have a lock screen...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

They should add an MP3 player style "Hold switch" on all keyboards

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Luckily, my Keyboard is so dirty that I need to pull off all keycaps anyway.

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