100% of people who have ever come into contact with a nipple have died. Scary stuff

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned https://www.rtings.com/headphones

They specifically analyze headphones for comfort and audio quality among many other qualities.

They have a table view mode where you can filter down to exactly what kind of headphones you are interested in buying and then make a selection from the results set.

I just purchased a pair of these a few weeks ago, and I love them: https://www.rtings.com/headphones/reviews/philips/fidelio-x2hr

I specifically filtered down to headphones with a low latency wired connection by adding a column to the table view, and I didn't need an included microphone.

If you must have a microphone included, the best headphones you can buy currently that have a low latency wired connection are the Astro A40's, but they had less than stellar treble I believe. Check the detailed review.

Funny, I always sang, "Wrapped up like a douche"

The trash? That's what I do. They create fatbergs as strong as stone that destroy your cities infrastructure: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O4ECz4NPPf8

According to the top comment on YouTube:

Fun fact: Anthony Daniels wrote this spot after doing some other PSAs. He told them he'd like to do an anti-smoking one, and they said that if he wrote it, they'd shoot it.

Perhaps he felt guilty, and he didn't want kids following in his footsteps

For the uninitiated: https://www.beliefnet.com/news/2003/09/the-gospel-of-supply-side-jesus.aspx

There’s a dirty secret in your glass of orange juice. Even though it says “not from concentrate,” it probably sat in a large vat for up to year with all the oxygen removed from it. This allows it to be preserved and dispensed all year-round. Taking out all the O2 also gets rid of all the flavor. So the juice makers have to add the flavors back in using preformulated recipes full of chemicals called “flavor packs.” Mmm, delicious, fresh-squeezed ethyl-butyrate!

https://consumerist.com/2011/07/29/oj-flavor-packs/

I think they realized Bridget was hitting on them, and their original response completely ignored that.

sparking concerns on Wall Street that the services will never be as profitable as cable once was

Obligatory fuck Wall Street

Skirt go spinny

I looked into it, and apparently she spent months fighting with them to replace her wheelchair. In the meantime, she developed sores from being in a generic wheelchair, and she ended up needing two emergency surgeries, and either passed away due to complications, or due to the sores directly.

Jokes on us because in 15 years all the instances alive right now will probably be dead and there will be no proof beyond an archive lol