this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2025
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[–] TheWeirdestCunt@lemm.ee 49 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't think I wanna know

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[–] PeaceNBullets@lemm.ee 42 points 1 month ago

Ceasefire Violation?

[–] the_dopamine_fiend@lemmy.world 41 points 1 month ago

He died doing what he loved!

[–] squirrel@discuss.tchncs.de 37 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Starving, because I couldn't remember where I hid my nuts.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

My dog finds and eats squirrel peanuts semi-regularly on walks. It's cuter than when he tries to catch them directly.

[–] snail@lemm.ee 35 points 1 month ago

It finally caught up to me

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago

The fucking Russians, of course.

[–] RagingHungryPanda@lemm.ee 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] Morti 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Morti means "of death" in Latin. I guess I'm going to die of death...

[–] Birch 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The deadliest kind of death

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[–] AnonomousWolf@lemm.ee 23 points 1 month ago

Silently hunted down by a mysterious lone wolf.

[–] BigBenis@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago

I'm not sure I want to know...

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

The US actually does invade, and I die in some kind of defensive gambit where they take more casualties than us.

Unfortunately, that's a vibe killer now, because it doesn't feel totally impossible and we still like each other. Sorry.

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[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] Whorehoarder@lemmynsfw.com 21 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Either heart goes out during orgy, or torn to shreds by an uprising

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[–] Birch 18 points 1 month ago
[–] TranslateErr0r@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

You wouldn't understand

[–] AGuyAcrossTheInternet@fedia.io 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Inviting my Farmville girlfriend over.

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[–] Deathray5@lemmynsfw.com 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's fairly self explanatory

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[–] lol_idk@lemmy.ml 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] PugJesus@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Raptured by the One True Dog

[–] captain_aggravated 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm going to go down with my ship, bellowing orders to my crew until the last.

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[–] taxiiiii@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Guess I run into traffic, yelling and waving at the taxi that just deliberately passed me by. Then I get hit by a truck.

[–] RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Jesus Christ, that'll be gruesome...

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[–] beansbeansbeans@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

Lots of beans

[–] bizarroland@fedia.io 13 points 1 month ago

Whatever it is, it's going to be the subject of several YouTube documentaries.

[–] GrammarPolice@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago
[–] oxytocin@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago
[–] teardownthewalls@lemm.ee 12 points 1 month ago

Wrong place wrong time during a controlled demolition

[–] Mobster@feddit.uk 12 points 1 month ago

Sleeping with the fishes

[–] WilhelmStroker@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

Furiously stroking my willy.

[–] FortyTwo@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

I guess I'm not growing old

[–] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

A detective stands over my lifeless body, Detective Salvitore is panting for air, desperate to catch up to her partner and mount the hill. She reaches the crest covered in sweat, vision blurring but enthused at the grim sight before Detective Glassgow.

Salvitore fumbles for her radio, wheezing a shaky "We... we... I... found-" before Glassgow cuts her off.

"Save it Sal, I already told them we found the vegan."

[–] flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 month ago

First I am. And then...

I'm not.

[–] bilnkandmissit@lemm.ee 11 points 1 month ago

I’ll never know. I blinked.

[–] Doctor_Satan@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago
[–] Stovetop@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Boiled alive

[–] BroiledShit@reddthat.com 11 points 1 month ago

I dont want to think about it

[–] fiendishplan@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Something the Scooby gang could have prevented.

[–] ChronicMasturbator@lemmynsfw.com 10 points 1 month ago
[–] f4f4f4f4f4f4f4f4@sopuli.xyz 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Bludgeoned to death with a keyboard?

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[–] gon@lemm.ee 10 points 1 month ago

I'm already gone...

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 10 points 1 month ago

I'll leave it to you, reader, to guess the "where" it is cast

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Mine's pretty open-ended.

I'm going to go with gassing in a concentration camp for opposing the fascists.

History repeats itself.

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[–] Kissaki@feddit.org 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] Omgboom@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] Riskyword@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Derogatory slur

[–] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago

Self Explanatory actually.

[–] nimble@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 month ago

Idk, i wouldn't see it coming

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