this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2024
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 hours ago

Now this is the kind of hard-hitting journalism I'm here for

[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

You can't tell me this isn't the exact way you'd expect this guy to look. He said he's gonna use his 2 quid settlement for more mars bars. I'm comforted.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 hours ago

Excellent choice. I would.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 hours ago

the Dull Men’s Club Facebook page

They only paid him because it would be exciting and ruin his reputation as a dull man.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Great. When did Mars go woke?

[–] carpelbridgesyndrome 4 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Tucker Carlson demands the return of the throbbing dick vein to the demasculated Mars bar.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 14 minutes ago

Only then will Musk arrive on Mars.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 hours ago

I used to send a complaint for faulty products to companies in my late teens/early 20's as I was low on money. Like once I got some energy drink in a bottle made for Pepsi. Same volume, no difference, but a mistake, so got 5€ for it so "won" like 3€ for that. I'd pick out products like that if I saw them in a shop for that very purpose.

Once I genuinely was annoyed though, as a soft drink company that filled the vending machine at our school had filled it wrong and I got what was essentially Fanta he I wanted an energy drink and it was fucking hard waking up that morning.

[–] [email protected] 250 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

“Dear Mars, I was unable to enjoy my recently purchased Mars Bar as it was missing the trademark thick veins running down its shaft.”

[–] [email protected] 128 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

"Dear BBC, thanks for the illustrated article on our product. Our advertising and PR manager says it's the best £2 we've spent all year'

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

It certainly does feel like they are pushing their confectionary product down our throats.

Edit: grammar

[–] [email protected] 35 points 16 hours ago (3 children)

Are you thanking the Big Black...Candybar or the British Broadcasting Corporation?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 15 hours ago
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[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 hours ago

"Dull Men's Club" must be code for Mad Lads

[–] [email protected] 17 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Great. Now that Mars buckled, everyone will be suing over their smooth candies. They may have made this case go away, but they'll soon be out tens, maybe even hundreds of pounds.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 12 hours ago

Yup. Obviously a smooth brained idea

[–] BananaPeal 32 points 16 hours ago (3 children)

Fun fact: the Mars bar is marketed as a Milky Way in the U.S. There was a Mars bar in the U.S., but it had almonds. It has since been rebranded as Snickers Almond.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

TIL. I dislike Milky Ways, they're incomplete substandard Snickers. 3 Musketeers are even worse; nougat is the worst part of the Snickers. In a Halloween haul, I'd always rather eat a roll of Smarties or a packet of two Spree than a Milky Way or 3 Musketeers, and that's the equivalent of saying I'd rather eat a piece of chalk.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 hours ago

FYI: Tums is chalk. :)

[–] [email protected] 17 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

So what's a milky way advertised as?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 15 hours ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 14 hours ago

American here; you're spot on. The US/Mexico version of the Milky Way bar has a layer of caramel in addition to the nougat, and 3 Musketeers is essentially the global version of Milky Way. Our bars may be also bigger in size.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

The Milky Way and the Mars bar were both created by the same person. And the Milky Way was created about 12 years earlier in Chicago. Forrest Mars went off to start his own Mars candy division in the UK after a fight with his dad.

I had a client that had a Mars heir as a client, and knew they were based in the DMV. I was curious how an American candy company with a candy bar named after the family ended up being created in the UK.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

How did they get an office in the department of motor vehicles

[–] [email protected] 6 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

They didn't, they're just in the Delaware/Maryland/Virginia area.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 13 hours ago

DMV stands for D.C./Maryland/Virginia in that context and refers to the D.C. metropolitan area.

What you're thinking of is the Eastern Shore peninsula, which is called Delmarva and is made up of parts of those three states.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 18 hours ago (23 children)

How is a Mars bar a fuckin quid now?!?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

How is a Mars bar a fuckin quid now?!?

You think that's nuts.
It's 9 quid for two ass creams with the chewing gums innit.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

£9 for two ass creamings, chewing gum or no, is a bargain

[–] Fuck_u_spez_ 11 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

As an uncultured American, I honestly don't know how else to read that comment.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

A mars bar with no dick vein. Welp at leat the bloke got 2 pound(ing)s compensation.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 14 hours ago

Ironic that BBC reported it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 hours ago

He could have asked them for 100 to send the factory code.

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