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Oh, you guys are thinking small.

Peter Executive (a vassal of Andy CEO). Mary Anesthesiologist. Alice S. Theorist. William Credit Authorizer. James M. Researcher.

The worst part is that, fun as this is, I'm having flashbacks of every time I've said something along the lines of "Matt from HR" and realizing that's how that has always worked.

No one at school was picked on more than Timmy OnlyFans.

We all remember Scam Bankrupt Fraud, right?

Look at me, I'm Bobby SitAtMyConputerAllDayAndAgeRapidly

Peter Unemployed.

Shameless pluck for "Qualityland" by Mark-Uwe Kling.

Finally an accurate description for Jessica Fullstack Developer.

Hi my name is Colin Support

Etymology nerd on YouTube has a video on this! It's basically how we put people in our phones now, such as Alex (neighbor) and Alex (work), two names I actually have saved in my phone. They're more based on relationship than occupation now.

Edit: (neighbor) not (phone)

Elon Nepobabyoligarchson.

Just ask Tim Apple how that feels.

Imagine being the actual John Gamer.

Hello, I am Bob Bugmaker, your software developer for this project.

María Tiktoker

John Uberdriver

Sam Gamereviewer

In the case of coppers it would be pretty convenient since they all go by their surname so they would all be, "Officer Pig", "Sergeant Pig", "Inspector Pig", "Detective Pig"

The names Trent, Trent Shippinrecieven.

I'd be Jimbo Bomber.
A lot cooler sounding than my real name.
I'm an industrial radiographer and usually called bombers.

Dolores del BullshitJob. Or Lola Shitposta.

“Sup, I’m Lance Crypto!”

Please see the excellent book "Jennifer Government" for a prescient look at where things are heading.

Dick Doctor Patrick Porn Star Caroline Creator Dan Designer Evan Entertainment Ian Importer Tim Apple

Ohh no look out, it's Tim Moderator

Kailey Influencer

🤮

The Management clan is huge.

And in 2027 there was a mass culling of the Private-Equity clan, when the revolution declared the entire family outlaw and they were hunted to the last junior.

It was ordained that the name of Private-Equity should be altogether abolished, and that the whole persons of that clan should renounce their name and take them some other name, and that they nor none of their posterity should call themselves Private-Equity or Investor under pain of death