Succeeded I'll have you know! π€
this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2024
732 points (98.8% liked)
Greentext
4646 readers
1535 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Classmate in 7th grade while warming up for gym class stretched easily that way. One kid made the offhand comment "Hey, you can suck your own dick!" and flexible kid immediately yelled "SHUT UP!". Which told us all he'd done it.
For the curious, I did know someone who said they could do it. We didn't have long conversations about it or anything but he said all you need to know.
"It's more like sucking dick than getting your dick sucked."
Sounds like a win win. Maybe I should work on getting more flexible.
Hey, aim for the moon, if you miss you still hit the stars! Or something.
Just please, please take it slow and stretch a LOT and don't force it, you can seriously maim your back if you force it. There's probably some yoga exercises you can look up online.
Makes perfect sense! Like doing 69. Mouth grabs attention over genitals.
If I could suck my own dick, I wouldn't ever leave the house.
Pairs well with a choking fetish
I'm not jealous. You are!
Anon messed up not removing a couple of ribs beforehand
While being a fat fuck.
He removed the ribs so he could eat them.
I mean, it's all relative to the size of your steeple
So youβre saying Iβd need to remove 4-5 ribs?
You sound like you can't smell your own shit on your knees
I can't believe this old hoax is still being circulated. This goes back pre-internet as one of the first viral memes.
Shhh. It reveals our age.
load more comments
(14 replies)
Adam Anon
Is that something other men want to do? Even my dog had no interest in it and he was easily flexible enough.
You shouldn't get your dog to suck your dick, no matter how flexible the dog is.
Yeah, they can't make a vacuum due to their mouth shape, so it's just going to be sloppy with a large risk of puncture. Totally not worth it.
They say it's more like sucking a dick vs getting a bj apparently.
Sounds like a win-win in my book.
It's about fifty fifty.
A 50 50 will cost you about tree fiddy in these parts. So they say....
Yes. I know peeps and itβs apparently awesome.
I mean I heard a kid broke his neck trying back in the late 90s
Did you remove your dogβs balls though? That might have an effect.
I wasn't the one who did it, and it didn't keep him from licking other dogs...
load more comments
(5 replies)
Suckin that dick at an egregerious angle
I cackled laughed in a Walmart just now. Can't explain that one lol
I really do this shit
This shit ain't nothing to me man
Pfft, sucking your own dick is amateur. Real men toss their own salad.
Sounds like a qualification for Cirque du Soleil.
Back, not neck.
... I'm told.
Wanna be hip? Gotta suck your own dick.
view more: next βΊ