this post was submitted on 10 Oct 2024
422 points (97.5% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 272 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Maybe anon has more luck flirting outside of his household?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 months ago (2 children)

That, or try breaking his arms.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Yup, more than one way to skin a cat. (BTW, I heard this term as a construction term, as in operating a Caterpillar machine).

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Furiously peels the vinyl off the tractor seat.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

slowly peels vinyl off the tractor seat Yup. More than one way.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

I don’t think anon’s mom loves him that much. Anon is anon, after all.

[–] [email protected] 117 points 4 months ago

This could also be a great textbook example of social conditioning. Women and men self-perpetuating gender stereotypes and acting weirded out when they're being violated.

[–] [email protected] 88 points 4 months ago (4 children)

$100 bucks says Anon is ugly and/or overweight.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 4 months ago

Only if the person that made up the fictional character writes it that way.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Or just gives off massive fake and gay energy

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 months ago (2 children)

$100 says the green text is an artistic work of falsehood

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

100¢ says anon is a bad flirt.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Naw, that still assumes anon is a real person, telling a real story.

As a rule, anything posted to /b/ is an artistic work of fiction or falshood, and only a fool would believe otherwise

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Isn't that exact quote posted on the top of every page on /b/? Wouldn't that make that rule itself an artistic work of fiction?

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

tf? green text is always true, anon never makes shit up.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

"All those women feeding him"

[–] [email protected] 42 points 4 months ago

Well, it's probably because he's the leper king of Jerusalem, judging by that mask

[–] [email protected] 38 points 4 months ago (1 children)

If your mom is nice to you she simply protects her assets. Her behaviour towards you is in no way an indicator on how attractive you are for potential partners from outside your family.

Her behaviour towards you however may be an indicator on how attractive you are for potential partners inside your family.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago

ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Problem: Anon keeps trying to date his mom

Solution: Anon needs to try using a dating service or app

[–] sugar_in_your_tea 3 points 4 months ago

Or his sisters. Anon has options.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] NuWuX 6 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

Being raised by women doesn’t make you a pussy magnet anon.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

Time for reform

[–] bestboyfriendintheworld 10 points 4 months ago (3 children)

What no male role models does to a mf.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I'm kind of surprised what gets downvoted these days.. do people actually not know that humans are imitation learners in almost every social and scientific aspect? 😨

[–] pancakes 14 points 4 months ago

In the same vein I'm shocked how little reading comprehension people have these days (such as this comment) and how people and how quickly people jump to align any information with their worldview. The post even said "majority" with no indication that the father wasn't around. For example someone that has two siblings, both sisters would fit that category.

[–] funkless_eck 6 points 4 months ago

op had no male role models because the entire scenario is completely made up for attention on the internet