this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2024
753 points (99.1% liked)

Greentext

4433 readers
1228 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 135 points 1 month ago (1 children)

DOOM Eternal

game eventually ends

[–] [email protected] 77 points 1 month ago (2 children)

See also: Duke Nukem Forever

[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

See also: Duke Nukem Forever

See also: BioShock: Infinite.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago

And Katamari Forever

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

They were probably referring to the development time.

[–] [email protected] 108 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

> Final Fantasy
> For the 16th fucking time

Compare that to:

> Endwalker
> Literally walk to the final boss

[–] [email protected] 91 points 1 month ago (2 children)

No Man's Sky

Obviously I am up here

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago

Assigned female at purchase

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

"Oh, Trans' Sky"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (4 children)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 79 points 1 month ago (15 children)

> Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

> Not a single vice to be found


> House Flipper

> All houses are orientated normally


> Untitled Goose Game

> Has title


> Octodad

> Absolutely not a single octopus in the game whatsoever


> Golf With Your Friends

> No friends.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I was thinking Vice City, no vices?? But I think I get what sort of vice you mean now

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

For anyone else who still doesn't understand!

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (14 replies)
[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You know what, shout out to Concord here. The official definition of a concord:

agreement or harmony between people or groups.

Everyone did in fact agree not to play the game.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

>Battlefield 4

>Actually has 32 multiplayer maps which would constitute a battlefield


>Pokémon Yellow

>Has other colors

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

>Actually has 32 multiplayer maps which would constitute a battlefield

Also:

> Is at least the sixth game in the Battlefield franchise, with the most generous possible interpretation of what counts as a mainline game.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 month ago (2 children)

>Dark Souls
>Souls emit light

>Hyper Light Drifter
>There's no car in the game

>Final Fantasy
>Has more than 10 sequels, hardly "final"

[–] Piemanding 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

>Dark Souls

>Literally only one Dark Soul

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Team Fortress 2

No Fortress, nobody plays as a fucking team, and it's the third game.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I technically it might be the first game on the account of the previous 2 being mods.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Counter Strike

Only initial strikes

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Wolfenstein 3D, Duke Nukem 3D

2.5D engines. 😏

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Rounding up on .5 is the most common method of rounding!

[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 month ago (2 children)
> Legend of Zelda
> You're playing as Link save for a few games
> Wolfenstein 3D
> Best it can do is raycasting and 2D sprites scaled
> Valve Software Inc.
> Is a game developer and publishing company, does not develop software for plumbing
> Epic Games
> Nowadays only create Fortnite, which is the opposite of being epic
[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (2 children)
> Enter the Matrix
> No math whatsoever in the game
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] sugar_in_your_tea 14 points 1 month ago

Legend of Zelda

But you're saving Zelda, so I think it gets a pass. Link's Awakening is right out though, Zelda isn't even a character in that one.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They call it halflife because Gordon is middle aged

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ya, but look at what he does at his job. He'll be lucky to make it to 54.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago

Oxygen not Included: Starts with oxygen.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago

Killing floor

Scenery is non-destructible

Black Mesa

All the mesas are actually brown

Max Payne 2:The Fall of Max Payne

Actually he does fall over a lot in this game

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago

Dead Cells

Literally unable to die

Slay the Spire

The Spire slays you (I'm bad at it, okay)

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago

Control

Literally everything is out of control

[–] Early_To_Risa 28 points 1 month ago

Resident Evil:

Numerous non-residents are evil too

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Mortal Kombat 1 - This is the 12th game in the series

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

See also: Battlefield 1

[–] Justas 26 points 1 month ago

Dead Space

You are alive and fight in claustrophobic environments.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening

Zelda doesn't even appear

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Hades 2: Hades is barely in it

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Infinite Wealth

Never have enough money.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Dark Souls

Have white souls in it

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

EVE Online: humanity’s distant future

Halo: “Run! It’s the demon!”

Mario Kart: drive around as Bowser

Call of Duty: skip work to play

Overwatch: small ground troop battles on city streets

Battlefield: Hardline: use signal jammers to disrupt enemy radio comms

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Half Life is an accurate title. During normal playthroughs it’s rare to have more than 50hp.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

River City Girls

You can play as the boys.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Counter Strike - You're attacking first

Double Dragon - Lacks even a single dragon

Freespace - Space is already occupied

Risk of Rain - Never rains

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War

Singing is an important part of the plot.

load more comments
view more: next ›