this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
479 points (98.6% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26697 readers
4429 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I really hope they fully cooked that takoyaki I ate....

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 month ago (2 children)

That beak is going to hurt like a mother, though.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No one said it wouldn't be painful lol

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

TIL what that Coldplay song is about.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Beaked for your pleasure

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago (7 children)

Flexible enough? Sure.

But will it withstand my stomach acids?

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] FreshLight 19 points 1 month ago

That's just great! Now I want that :(

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm pretty sure there's japanese porn on this exact theme

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not just porn, but classic art by a famous artist. Check out Hokusai's "The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife."

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Stop, please. I can only get so erect.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

a small one could probably go up that too

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yes, you can enter an octopus' mouth, wriggle around through its digestive tract, and exit their anus. And when you're done, you can eat the octopus shreds from it popping like a you-filled balloon.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thanks to you my search history now contains octopus anus.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Vs the usual octopus in anus or octopus anus insertion?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I’m pretty sure 90% of search histories have an octopus in anus variant in them.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

90% of my search history is animal anuses.

While I'm totally joking, I for realsies create calendars filled with pictures of animal's butts that I take at the zoo

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

That's one of my favorite episodes. I felt so understood. I started taking pictures of animals' butts when I mistimed a pic of a hippo swimming by. I was so amused that it was unlike any other photo you'd normally see of a hippo, but you knew it was a hippo. So I expanded to other animals.

After one trip, I mentioned to my family that I got photos of over 14 animals' butts and my sister said "great, you can make a calendar now." And so it all began.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

Something an incredibly large number of people do not understand is that solid objects cannot pass through you: anything larger than 1-2mm will not get past the Pylorus Sphincter at the end of your stomach.

Any claims otherwise are misled bullshit.

EDIT: Lots of typos

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I never threw the quarter i swallowed at 6 years old back up, doc said it likely passed. Thats hella bigger tam 1-2mm and there's no quarters showing up on imaging... so how exactly does that work?

Not saying I don't believe this its just that reconciling this statement with real world experience isn't adding up.

And now I'm picturing the 'Little Book of Calm' getting absorbed and Bill Bailey running around looking like Jesus and quoting it. I never walked around like moose jesus so I guess I didn't absorb it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Coins will dissolve within a month, pass once small enough. US Quarters are Copper with a plating of Copper Nickel Alloy, all of which will dissolve in acid.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Now that's interesting.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Stop it, you'll make me cum

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It’s called octopussying and you NORMOS and vegans STAY AWAY from OUR KINKCOMMUNITY (/s)

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Sounds like the digestive system works

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I have a stomach ache and this is not helping

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

It's just fully autonomous pipe cleaning.

[–] DJKJuicy 8 points 1 month ago

Don't threaten me with a good time.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

"This is my hole!"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

After sticking a feather in its hat, presumably.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

It was originally the colonmari

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Could it survive the stomach acid?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Nope, that's the point. That's how we trick them into get eaten.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Don’t give people ideas.

[–] captain_aggravated 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

So's coffee what's your point?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Obligatory video (click at your own risk)

load more comments
view more: next ›