this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I grew up with blue ketchup on the shelves at the market. There are bagels that come in rainbow color. Ever heard of Lester's Fixins? They'll sell you soda thar tastes of buffalo wings. I come from a reality where nothing is off the table.

And then some joker comes along and makes up fake shit that doesn't even raise my eyebrows... I believed this was real with no reservations. How's that supposed to make me feel?

[–] AlligatorBlizzard 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thank you so much, I felt like I was being made fun of for a minute there.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You come across like Morty after a couple of seasons of adventures with Rick, just used to/not surprised by the unfamiliar shit that's out there. Like, apathetic to it. I'm honestly in awe of your go with the flow attitude. Also, green ketchup is far superior to blue.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

It's a problem. I've consumed so much Dan Harmon content that his writing voice has crept in. At this point I'm what you get if Jeff Winger didn't work out or do speeches.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

And that's the winger garuntee

[–] NuWuX 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Proud to be an American! 😎🇺🇲🦅

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Where at least I know I'm free 🎵

Unless you're poor, or black or gay, or trans or disabled or need healthcare-

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

This is why Americans are the only people not allowed to make fun of British food.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

British TV leads me to believe their diet is entirely doner kebobs, indian food, fried fish, and the most expertly crafted baked goods an oven in a tent can produce.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Since food is just what you eat, anything can be food even though it is utterly disgusting

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

"Look your honor. The human body is just food. I should not be found guilty for eating someone unless you know wink wink nudge nudge".

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I counter with American Chili, Barbeque, and Corn Bread. I would give you Maryland Crab but I'm busy eating it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

MD crabs are soooooo good. I've eaten a dozen every Friday all summer.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Right? I moved away a while ago but now every time I'm back I'm getting crab.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

The Freedom Frank is War, Hallowiener is Death, Mtn Dew is Pestilence and Baja Blast is Famine.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It'd be so easy to make veg dogs look like this. Literally just put different veg in it, boom, different colors.

But no, gotta dye the tube of pig buttholes.

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[–] jballs 11 points 1 month ago (3 children)

That Baja Blast one provoked a physical gag reflex in me.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So original flavor dew dogs are ok?

[–] jballs 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I think it's physiological response to that teal color in food. There are lots of green foods that are ok to eat, so the immediate revulsion wasn't as strong.

But yeah, that Baja Blast teal is something you only see in nature on mold.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

A hot dog that is teal in the package is obviously spoiled.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Have you tried Sweet Lightning? It's a KFC exclusive flavor that hasn't escaped containment the way Baja Blast escaped Tace Bell.

[–] jballs 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I have not, but I can't remember the last time I was in a KFC. Is it any good?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I like it, but I like most Mtn. Dew flavors.

Definitely inspired by peach tea, if that helps.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Whimsical, colorful tubes of mashed eyelids and pussy lips!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's kind of nice that they have stopped trying to hide the fact that this is an atrocity against animals and are just leaning into it. I guess.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

It's photoshopped

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Switch the top two, and get a fairly accurate political compass.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Four dogmen?
Horsedogs?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Horsemen pronounced like hors d'oeurve

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

No, it's the same image photoshopped four times

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

My god. An actual regular photoshop in the year of our lord 2024 🥲

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Not gonna lie, this image actually had me completely fooled.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

It is really good

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Dew Dogs are the bomb. For some fucking reason my mom never buys me the baja blast ones. Whenever I invite a girl into my mom's basement for an Arch Linux playdate (which doesn't happen that often for some reason), it always gets ruined because the best I have are Dew Dogs original.

I don't how how women know all I have are the original flavor because they usually make an excuse to leave 0.2 seconds after showing them my cumsock collection.

/s (I forgot where I was going with this)

[–] NuWuX 3 points 1 month ago

Maybe see if you can convince your mom to get you some of these new flavors?

And don't forget to Do the Dew Relish™!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

The beauty of capitalism

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We all know what to do with a blue wiener!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Seek medical attention?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What does America taste like?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

🤮🤮🤮

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Mtn Dew Dew Dogs seems redundant.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I wonder if over consumption of dew dogs make yer teeth fall out. Yee haw!!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Need some purple or green ketchup to go on those.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I thought the awful Disney I was watching with my niece was the worst thing ever until I saw this. I guess my phone is a bad distraction. 😢

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