this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] Estiar 137 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Fourty days later, Anon finds that his entire computer file system has been replaced with pics of Morgan Freeman

[–] [email protected] 80 points 2 months ago (7 children)

Why aren't there viruses like this? Everyone wants to hurt your computer. Do something dumb like that.

Or a screamer virus. That could bring the world to its knees.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 2 months ago (2 children)

My idea was a worm that just torrents random shit and dumps it on your desktop like a cat bringing you a dead bat with "I broughted you a pwesent ^w^" energy.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

Would be far more destructive on first world countries than third world countries

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There used to be a shitton of silly viruses back in the day.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

The "you are an idiot" one with the pop-up that runs away from your mouse cursor was hilarious.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I wrote a "virus" in college, which basically:

  1. took a screenshot of the entire desktop
  2. displayed screenshot full-screen on top of other windows
  3. would only go away if you typed "@sugar_in_your_tea pwned me" or something

Oh, and it started on startup, so rebooting wouldn't fix it. :)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

bro I was thinking of this EXACT idea around the time you sent this message, how many more evidence do I need to conclude that this world is a simulation 💀💀

[–] savedbythezsh 3 points 2 months ago

I did one similar! Used autohotkey to hide the task bar at random intervals and pop up a warning that said "system out of memory". Only way to get it back was autohotkey or a reboot. It would restart daily and on login so it would keep happening. And I hid it as "Nvidia game scanner service.exe" in the Nvidia bloatware folder so it looked innocent. Had a good laugh about that one

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

I think that's because most viruses aren't made for fun but for a specific reason (i.e to steal money from someone's computer).

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Thanks for an idea

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

May i point you to a thing i've once made:

https://github.com/MHanak1/pierogi-rust

[–] RmDebArc_5 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

How about one that jumpscares you. Or replaces windows with Linux

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That'd be hilarious lmao. Just a "windows is updating" progress bar while in the background it installs Mint, complete with transferring users/passwords, then "rebooting..." BAM Mint.

Idk how possible that'd be but a man can dream.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago

previous license key invalidated, now you'll see what's the REAL ransomware ;)

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

are you referring to a gnu system?

[–] RmDebArc_5 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No no, I’m talking alpine Linux

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

linux is just the kernel!1!1!!1!1!1!!!

[–] [email protected] 96 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Why did the folder have a file extension

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

It's an ancient meme rooted in green text brevity, intentionally misused to form another ancient meme, leading through yet another to a fourth.

Appending .exe to whatever states that the contextually implied action was performed. For example:

payday

groceries.exe

steak on sale

dinner.exe

It's being used here to obfuscate a folder, as file format was used to obfuscate distribution of the LOIC in the picture of the "It's dangerous to go alone..." meme.

But, the cake is a lie. It was Morgan Freeman, all along.

I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it can't be expressed in words, and it makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a grey place dares to dream. It was as if some beautiful bird had flapped into our drab little cage and made these walls dissolve away.

[–] Jakeroxs 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

maybe someone once performed a command like "for all files in this folder without an extension, append .exe to them" and didn't exclude subdirectories from that

no nothing similar has ever happened to me, nuh-uh, why would you ever suspect that

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well there's always self-executing archives

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Self-extracting*

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Because that would be a folder extension in case of a folder.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Because there's nothing to prevent it.

[–] [email protected] 70 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Either brave or stupid plugging in a random flash drive they found on the street.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Just plug it into an air gapped machine with a Linux live environment

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (2 children)

How many people have one of those floating around?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Surely lots. There are dramatically more phones on the planet than people.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Average person? Probably not many. But it's also not some expensive, rare, hard to have thing. I have several raspberry pi's that could easily serve the purpose by just not connecting a new image to a network.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah the cheapest way, too bad the rpi 4/5 and future versions make it possible to write to the eeprom. Atleast it sounds like the newer ones have a way to make it write protected via a jumper or something.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Sure, but I mean the chances of someone creating a virus specifically to run when plugged into a pi running pi OS or other Linux os with the purpose of attacking the eeprom, delivered by dropping usb sticks in public is so ridiculously small it has to be functionally non existent.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Could be a USB killer, it'll fry your PC no matter what it's running.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

True, you could probably solve that by breaking the casing off first if you're insistent on trying it. They don't look like a normal usb stick on the inside. Also I'd imagine it isn't really feasible to just go dropping them around but maybe you can get them cheap enough somewhere.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea 1 points 2 months ago

Yeah, not sure why you'd piss off random people with that, you'd be much better off doing some kind of ransomware attack.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

That's also what I was originally thinking about.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea 2 points 2 months ago

I'd honestly just run it on my Linux laptop with the network disabled. It's old, so if it gets wrecked, I'm really not out much. And the risk of someone bothering to target Linux is incredibly small, so I'm comfortable with the risk.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Does Morgan Freeman run on Wine?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Worked for me on glorious egg roll latest.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I run Morgan Freeman in VirtualBox just to be on the safe side.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I have many a time been tempted to buy a bunch of cheap flashdrives, fill them with weird shit and just leave them in places.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Be the change you want to see in the world.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Researching the Zodiac killer and the Mansons has left me wanting to start a new countercultural movement. Just, you know, with less killing. ... At least a little bit less killing.

[–] pkmkdz 1 points 2 months ago

It's all fun and games until a black van starts following you

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

Perfect way to get a nasty virus.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

And their identity everywhere compromised.