I'm beginning to think Pizza guys are the heroes we need
this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2024
933 points (98.0% liked)
Greentext
4507 readers
925 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
They give us what we all crave: stuffed crust
More pizza deliveries die on job than blue guys. Where thin bread line
Italian crust, front lines drenched in the marinara of the fallen
Those blue guys don't even make the top 20 deadliest jobs
Pizza guy here, the best way to show gratitude is with a large gratuity.
Gratitude all over me don't worry about my hair
Hiro Protagonist would agree
load more comments
(2 replies)
That evening, someone didn't get the pizza they ordered. They must've been pretty bummed about it. But Anon was certainly happier to eat it than they were upset to not get it, so total happiness increases!
Anon told his boss, so maybe boss ordered another pizza?
yea most likely someone just had to wait double the time for their pizza, which can be as little as 20minutes
and no matter how miffed I‘d be about the longer wait, I would be very happy about it if they explained it
I heard someone jumped off of that bridge that night due to being so bummed about not getting their pizza.
load more comments
(1 replies)
That pizza guy's name? Albert Einstein
/r/nothingeverhappens
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem
This is a good saying and sometimes true, but mental illness is usually a forever problem. I don't say that to disparage it either; depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, and internalized abuse fucking suck and it takes a while to tear down the self preservation instinct to the point where an ending can seem appealing, even if just for a moment.
This is why we need to legalize psychedelics. When paired with counseling, they can create moments where you can see alternatives, which gives therapy a solid shot at success even for advanced cases.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
A permanent solution sounds pretty nice
If you think this you're incredibly privileged.
One person's problem is over but everyone who cared about them has problems that are just beginning
the temporary problem of always being a corporate slave until I die anyways, and failing every attempt at running a business or getting a better paying job, etc. Health continually tanking, bloody poop, constant migraines, cognitive decline, way behind on taxes again, feeling stressed out by any and all social stuff, no motovation to do anything yet trudging on for no idea why, nothing is fun, earth is being killed by the ultra rich and nothing is working, the masses are becoming more stupid and only helping worsen everything. dunno probably more. it comes and goes for me. my animals still need me but if I didn't have them I wouldn't have the energy for more of this shit. Maybe if it didn't cost so much to merely be alive, let alone do or have enjoyable things.
load more comments
(1 replies)
I mean, to be fair he was literally out with a friend. A new friend, yes, but a friend.
Got stopped by a rando while trying to build up the courage to jump. Told him that my car was broken down and that's why I was stopped in the middle of the bridge in pouring down rain.
He got out and offered to help me, despite the fact that it was 3AM and the rain was coming down hard.
Awkward.
The car of course started just fine and I thanked him and continued my drive home.
I doubt he had any idea the difference he made.
I don't understand the 'an hero' sentence, can someone enlighten me?
An hero means suicide.
I kind of figured, but not really how.
But through the power of internet search I found out:
load more comments
(5 replies)
Reference to a 4chan bullying campaign against a family whose son killed themselves and they made a grammar mistake on the Facebook post.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Don't let your worst day be your last. A large portion of people who survive true suicide attempts tell you they changed their mind as they jumped.
If you're feeling suicidal, the solution isn't to remove yourself from the situation. The solution is to get out of the situation that makes you feel that way. There are people who want to help you do that. Make the call ❤️
A large portion of people who survive true suicide attempts tell you they changed their mind as they jumped.
I've never been personally suicidal, but if there's ever been anything that made me fear the idea of ever doing it, it would be "The View From Halfway Down" in Bojack Horseman (both the episode and the titular poem)
load more comments
(3 replies)
load more comments
(7 replies)
was actually going to an hero
This is the most awkward fragment I've ever seen. Was it a typo? Autocorrect? Pasted in the wrong spot? All 3??
I can't seem to fix it. Not what this post is about but it annoyed me, so now you have to be annoyed as well.
EDIT: Got it, it's celebrating suicide. I never got into 4chan or their specific culture, and right now, that's my sole source of comfort.
A few comments below taught me that it apparently originates from this meme where it was a mix of a typo and a loving description of a suicidal person.
load more comments
(2 replies)
'An hero' is an old 4chanism that means committing suicide
iirc it comes from a someone posting about thier son who killed themselves and made a typo saying "he was an hero" so naturally 4chan turned the phrase "an hero" into a way to say "to commit suicide".
load more comments
(2 replies)
'an hero' means to suicide
Fuckin hell I'm old lmao. Anyone else with me? This was the standard speak of 4chan back in like.... '07...'08?
Like '05, it's old. Fuck. I'm old.
It isn't exactly celebrating suicide, it's kinda making fun of it in a way.
It started from some myspace post long long ago, in which some kid named Mitchell had killed himself and one of their friends or family members made a memorial myspace page about it including the typo "He was such an hero, to take it all away." The post continues to use "an hero" multiple times, (h/o I bet I can find it, brb.)
/b/tards latched onto it pretty quick, and the meme became that people who killed themselves are "an hero" just like Mitchell.
Edit: Yup, found it. Thanks knowyourmeme.
"He was such an hero, to take it all away. We miss him so, That you should know, And we honor him this day. He was an hero, to take that shot, to leave us all behind. God do we wish we could take it back, And now he's on our minds. Mitchell was an hero, to leave us feeling like this, Our minds are rubber, our joints don't work, Our tears fall into abyss. He was an hero, to take that shot, In life it wasn't his task, He shouldn't have had to go that way, before an decade'd past. Now he sits there in my heart, this hero of mine, Always there to make me smile, Make me feel just fine. He had courage,that boy did, courage in his heart. To take that shot, To end his pain, To tear us all apart. But in the end, he died in courage. Lacking, nevermore, He died a hero, Mitchell did, And we'll love him forevermore. We love you like an brother. We miss you so much. We will always love you, kid. Rest In Peace Mitch. ~Lila"
view more: next ›