this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 47 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Funny answer: their dog won't let them leave the room if they smell too much.

Slightly serious answer: bidets are magic.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago (2 children)

If there were bidets everywhere, I'd be willing to leave my cave more often.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Using a public bidet sounds like an awful idea.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (2 children)

It's easier than waddling over to the sink and fitting my ass in there.

[–] JadenSmith 9 points 4 months ago

This is why I'm banned from Sea World.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

But you don't make as many friends.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Have you seen Perfect Days?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Go live in Japan. Literally bidets everywhere even in public places. My butt had never been so consistently clean.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I did for a year. Squat toilets in public places.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I only saw the squat toilets in more remote places but anywhere in the cities had bidets.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

I saw them in schools, train stations, parks, etc., all over Hiroshima city.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

That's like evil Skittles

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

The lick test.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago

How can you not tell by feel?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago

They smell the paper.

Ever since I learned this I started doing it too, because it’s more effective than visual inspection alone.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (2 children)

If the shit tickets don’t stick to the wall the asshole isn’t poopy anymore.

[–] Birch 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Is this the answer to the mystery of the state of public bathrooms?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Yes, it's all blind people's fault.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

I got this far down the thread before stifling a laugh at work. Well done.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

This whole thread is nothing but jokes. The real answer is they wipe their butthole with their finger and then press their fingers together to feel if it's at all sticky.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Get yourself a travel bidet <$20 on Amazon, and start with that. You use warm tap water from your commode.

No installation, but a bit of practice.

My proctologist ranted about general bad wiping habits in the US that damage the hemorrhoid tissue over time. Don't spend your life in sin and misery as I have in the House of the Rising Sun, and stick to only dabbing with bathroom tissue, and use bidets to do the heavy cleaning.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

Even people with functioning eyes miss some sometimes.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I personally don't ever have to look and I'm glad I don't have to

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

You sound more confident than you maybe should :P

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Lot of jokes here, my brother repeatedly has told me he is disgusted by the fact that we look at toilet paper to tell if we are clean. Granted he would have to get the TP very close to his face to be able to see anything. He says he just wipes until he is clean. Not an exciting answer, but that's what I got.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Years ago, I saw this question and someone commented on Reddit that they bring wet wipes with them when they go out.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

That video never really answers the question...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Bidet no need to look or wipe.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (5 children)

How often do you visually check your butthole when wiping?

We are all blind in the bathroom, my friend.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago

This. Who doesn't?

[–] Firoaren 13 points 4 months ago

??? Wtf people, check yo ass, jesus

[–] gravitas_deficiency 9 points 4 months ago

Fuckin christ, dude. Get some hygiene.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

I have a live feed camera in my toilet. Every time I take a shit, I get out my phone and watch the footage so I can inspect both the turd and my asshole and plan my wiping strategy accordingly.

[–] brb 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You check the paper, not your butthole

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Please speak for yourself.

[–] brb 1 points 4 months ago

Huh? How do you check it if not with the paper?

[–] [email protected] -2 points 4 months ago

They insert a finger to see if there's any more mush.