Follow up pro tip: only do this if you want war with Italy. Every time someone breaks a spaghetto, an Italian person dies.
this post was submitted on 16 May 2024
242 points (97.3% liked)
NonCredibleDefense
6778 readers
1026 users here now
A community for your defence shitposting needs
Rules
1. Be nice
Do not make personal attacks against each other, call for violence against anyone, or intentionally antagonize people in the comment sections.
2. Explain incorrect defense articles and takes
If you want to post a non-credible take, it must be from a "credible" source (news article, politician, or military leader) and must have a comment laying out exactly why it's non-credible. Low-hanging fruit such as random Twitter and YouTube comments belong in the Matrix chat.
3. Content must be relevant
Posts must be about military hardware or international security/defense. This is not the page to fawn over Youtube personalities, simp over political leaders, or discuss other areas of international policy.
4. No racism / hatespeech
No slurs. No advocating for the killing of people or insulting them based on physical, religious, or ideological traits.
5. No politics
We don't care if you're Republican, Democrat, Socialist, Stalinist, Baathist, or some other hot mess. Leave it at the door. This applies to comments as well.
6. No seriousposting
We don't want your uncut war footage, fundraisers, credible news articles, or other such things. The world is already serious enough as it is.
7. No classified material
Classified ‘western’ information is off limits regardless of how "open source" and "easy to find" it is.
8. Source artwork
If you use somebody's art in your post or as your post, the OP must provide a direct link to the art's source in the comment section, or a good reason why this was not possible (such as the artist deleting their account). The source should be a place that the artist themselves uploaded the art. A booru is not a source. A watermark is not a source.
9. No low-effort posts
No egregiously low effort posts. E.g. screenshots, recent reposts, simple reaction & template memes, and images with the punchline in the title. Put these in weekly Matrix chat instead.
10. Don't get us banned
No brigading or harassing other communities. Do not post memes with a "haha people that I hate died… haha" punchline or violating the sh.itjust.works rules (below). This includes content illegal in Canada.
11. No misinformation
NCD exists to make fun of misinformation, not to spread it. Make outlandish claims, but if your take doesn’t show signs of satire or exaggeration it will be removed. Misleading content may result in a ban. Regardless of source, don’t post obvious propaganda or fake news. Double-check facts and don't be an idiot.
Join our Matrix chatroom
Other communities you may be interested in
Banner made by u/Fertility18
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
My favorite grocery store sells “pot-ready spaghetti noodles” which are half the length of normal ones. I think Italy’s declaration of war is a foregone conclusion at this point
I mean, who decided that spaghetti noodles had to be that long anyway? What if I go to Italy and start selling spaghetti noodles that are 2m long? When will they admit that its fin to snappa the spaghetta?
Super long spaghetti noodles are dried in coils and are pretty fancy.
It's harder to pick up broken or shorter spaghetti with a fork. If you break them up real small and make chicken noodle soup that you eat with a spoon - that's fine. Italians do that as well.
Protip, you can cook regular spaghetti noodles in a big pan. You only need enough water to cover the noodles and it's way faster than boiling a lake's worth of water in a pot and doing the whole "try to fold the pasta into the water as fast as possible so it cooks evenly" dance.
You can leave them full length with only a third of the length in the water, they quickly soften and slump and the rest can be immersed
Did you know they don’t eat garlic bread in Italy?
Ergo, “Italian Food” in America is better than food in Italy. They have to take us out as a matter of self defense
What if after it's cooked you just cut it up with scissors?
deeply saddened italian noises
My wife showed me the Instagram page of an American woman who was married to an Italian guy. She would fuck with him for content. The one where she breaks spaghetti in half before throwing it into the water is hilarious, he flips his shit
If you ever find yourself in a war against Italy, breaking a bundle of spaghetti will send out a shockwave which causes any Italian in a 3 km radius to fall into cardiac arrest.
If that fails put pineapple on pizza
Easy there Hitler
It will only kill 99.9% of italians. The survivors, if there are any, will be alerted and rapidly approach your position. At this point, suicide will be the only way out
Shreddi Spaghetti
Never forghetti
Maybe a little forgetti, as a treat
Yummy cordite-pasta 😋
It's called Corditini
Salted with a little extra lead in case you're not retarded enough already
!Subscribe to Italian Defense Tips
also a good place to hide the weed. 😁
About the same amount of calories as in gun powder. Should work just fine.
Nice try, gluten
This just makes me think the soldier isn't intending to shoot anyone anyway, say if he's more sympathetic to the local civilians than his political masters.
And if I recall correctly, American troopers often made more friends with chocolate and beanie babies than with bullets.