this post was submitted on 04 May 2024
319 points (92.8% liked)

Programmer Humor

23402 readers
1893 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 year ago (9 children)

Removed double quotes, added single quotes

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

someone later on -m "removed single quotes, added double quotes"

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

More commits == More money!!!

[–] gravitas_deficiency 7 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Real talk: I have worked at a company where an exec briefly had the bright idea to rank developers on number of commits made.

You can imagine how that turned out.

He wasn’t an exec for very long.

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (8 replies)
[–] 1boiledpotato 36 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"Update"

It was my dotfiles, ok?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] steersman2484 33 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] Assman 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My commit messages have gotten extremely lazy since I start squashing all my commits down to one. I just describe the PR on the first commit message and write nonsense in all the others.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I've been adding the commit shas + messages to the final description, if anyone wants to see my exploratory work.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Tests: Add a few test files.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

I thought we lost you ... Jia Tan!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

God read my code and it made Him cry

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Update coffee list and tex files.

...and yes we have our office coffee list in a git repo.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Changed consent banner text to reflect from legal, even though they are wrong"

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

"circumvented GDPR despite calling out strong ethical objections, because legal & management are forcing me to"

[–] AllHailTheSheep 15 points 1 year ago

"fix for real this time"

[–] Jyek 13 points 1 year ago

"28496 - there, it's fucking fixed you twat waffle."

Ticketed bug bosses son found. Dude nagged his dad who nagged us until it got fixed. Boss doesn't review code. And for the sake of a half dozen coworkers, I hope he never does.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

";"

Previous commit was some stupid easy fix I didn't even bother compiling. Well, I should have, because it was the first time in recent memory I committed some code with a missing semicolon...

Before anyone asks : no, we don't do reviews ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] FreshLight 12 points 1 year ago

"I'm sorry, guys."

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Hrfg7ygfrvvby

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

git commit -m "if this doesn't fix it I'm looking up availabilities at my nearest maccas"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

wip: good luck you monday fuck hahahaha

[–] DumbAceDragon 10 points 1 year ago

"My laptop died before I could push these"

Not a good commit name I know, but my laptop stopped booting and I just really needed to continue from my desktop.

It's a student project anyway.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Fix for vendor lies.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

French dead link?

[–] xmunk 9 points 1 year ago

Converted more tests to use the correct handle.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

hoho

I had just figured out how to fix a bug that broke our in house reminder system. My smug ass put hoho as the commit message for figuring something out that the previous guy couldn't. Of course it came back to bite me in the ass THIS WEEK when the system broke again in a similar fashion, but I couldn't remember what I had done.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A

Because who cares for commit messages to my private repo?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You when you mess something up and only figure it out later?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Prevent subprocess from killing itself until finished.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"render trans chunks after entities/sel box etc "

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Very progressive.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
At a PV node, do not cut off from any TT hit.

The SPRT result of this may be different than before thanks to LMR.

Bench: 5212899

hey, you did ask

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

init: add readme

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

“Initial commit, come back later”

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

modified: index.html

Rip

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

chore: ensure it's God's divine intellect

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (7 children)

I wonder what the last commit message of my career will be.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Merge pull request #8 from [branch name]"

Not the most exciting but hey, someone has to do it.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›