this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2024
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[–] [email protected] 151 points 10 months ago (2 children)

The qr code is just a text string. It says "1,000,000". Fucking amazing.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 10 months ago (1 children)

He's got 999,999 problems, but leaving the country ain't one.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Leaving is fine. Returning? Hah.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

I mean, that shit won’t get him into any country. So leaving may not be the problem but you gotta arrive somewhere. Unless his plane just circles over the Atlantic Ocean until it runs out of fuel and plummets into the water.

Although, leaving might also be a problem. You gotta show ID to get on any plane. The first time it comes out, he’s probably getting detained at O’hare.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

Hugh? You can drive into Mexico and they just ask you where you're headed.

If you're unlucky they do the whole song and dance but you can easily just leave.

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Oh, really? I bet if he leaves the borders of the US at all he carries a real passport. No customs officer will put up with this. They have zero sense of humor when it comes to documents.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I want to see some stories of people who have tried to travel internationally with these.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 10 months ago (1 children)

they're out there. the guy that sells them has been arrested like 36 times for trying to cross borders with them.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

How the hell is he not in jail for forging documents? I guess he's not forging legitimate documents, but he has the entire intent and sells them and tries to use them... Should be in jail on principle, and for selling fake goods.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago (7 children)

Probably cause it's not a forgery/falsified doc. It's just pretend scribbles?

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago

"so anyways, we put him in a small interrogation room then just fucking left him there! Long weekend my dude. "

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I have one I will post separately!

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 10 months ago (2 children)

“Diplomatic Operations Specialist”

🤡

[–] brian 30 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Also the fact that "title" is the only one not capitalized is amusing to me

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

'Beneficery' 🤣

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago

Those are two different people. One is a man and the other is a woman, for one.

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 10 months ago

Only question is how much he owe in child support

[–] [email protected] 45 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Arstotzka so great, passport not required

hamilton bro is irl jorji

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Bey stands for "been evicted yet?'.

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'll bet that looks real good in his wallet tucked next to the "get out of jail free" card

[–] [email protected] 39 points 10 months ago (1 children)

My favorite part is trying to pass off this super official looking /s card with this lame ass cell-phone photo in a zipper jacket lmao

[–] Tar_alcaran 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)

He literally used his FB profile picture for his scampassport.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 10 months ago

The least believable part of this card is it being valid for 20 years!

[–] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

Is that the Bundesadler top middle?! wtf xD

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

It is indeed, just checked with my German passport.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I like how he wanted people to know his birthday, just not how old he is

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

But the visible 1 shows he's over 23

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (6 children)

I should start a business selling these

[–] [email protected] 32 points 10 months ago

549.99 with 5G resistant plating included for free!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

Back when I worked in retail someone tried to get a credit card with a fake "gov" ID. We called the cops. A detective showed up real quick and confiscated the ID while interrogating the guy.

Tried to get the "provider" out of him and cut him loose. Told us someone has been peddling the IDs and they were on it.

That was 20 years ago let alone now. So ymmv on that side hustle.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

It feels like they would be fucked if these worked. The US is not good to non-citizens.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

Oh it's much worse than that.

Imagine if this worked, and people could just exempt themselves from the law by carrying a card that says "diplomatic immunity" on it. Everyone would do it, you'd be crazy not to, even if you weren't planning on committing crimes, just to prevent the possibility of a (potentially unjust) arrest or conviction.

And once everyone is above the law, you basically have The Purge, which devolves to more of an Escape From New York kind of vibe, before finally landing in Mad Max territory.

Or, alternatively, we recognize that the card works just as well for the authorities, who can't be charged with anything for ignoring your diplomatic immunity.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

"Diplomatic immunity!"

"You heard 'em. Cut off their access to public services while we arrange transport to their homeland of... Oh! Heaven! Hey! Have Phil get the cannon ready!"

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago (6 children)

These people can't be this braindead. It doesn't take a genius to understand that countries have to also recognize their political status to make it real in any way other in than their minds.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago

Bro, this shit doesn't even work for white people.

You got no chance.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Where does one report the loss of the card? Or to who?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago

To Jesus Christ himself.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

Nah, you just go to Office Max and make another one.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

The only thing sadder than this is that he definitely paid for it. I normally don't like grifters, but these dumbasses don't believe in the jurisdiction of the institution backing the money anyway, so I don't see any harm in someone making bank selling them.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

I think he actually sells those. He's a pretty prominent sovcit.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

The funny thing about this is that if this were a real thing, the issuing agency would necessarily possess all of this person's precious ~~bodily fluids~~ personal information.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Aw, that's cute. Little hologram and everything.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Huh, I wonder what a "beneficery" is

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

That eagle hologram on the top looks suspiciously German. Going through the versions the most like likely (wing shape, size of tail, various details) seems to be the kleines Bundessiegel, small federal seal, this one.

So tough luck, this is actually a personell identification card of the limited liability company making up the German federal level.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

he's a Foreign American National Diplomatic Operations Specialist with diplomatic immunity.. you'd be surprised how many of those there are running around the Greater Chicagoland area..

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